15.03.2014

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Give us your juiciest, wildest, weirdest and embarrassingest (it’s a word) hook up stories! One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together. I feel like any sort of school energy required at this point is pure oppression, like the universe is trying to destroy me. Yesterday, Remy brought her books to me at bedtime -- an hour notable for its propensity to incite rage and trauma -- and chirped, "We need to read for 20 minutes!" and a little part of my soul died. My friend Glennon over at Momastery described nighttime reading like this: "The little one wants to 'help read' her book.
Then Ben tells me Tuesday that he needs a Ben Franklin costume for the Living History Museum today, and I'm like, What fresh hell is this?? So, Ben went to school like this today, and there is no way this will ever not be a part of his childhood.
My shame was somewhat mitigated when I saw a kid wearing a random t-shirt and jeans with a pair of swim goggles around his neck (Michael Phelps) and another girl with a piece of paper taped to her shirt with her character's name written in marker.
Teachers, we need to make a deal that after April testing, we don't have to do anything else. The emails coming in for All Of The Things -- class gift, end of year letters, luncheon signup, party supplies, awards ceremonies, pictures for the slide shows, final projects -- are like a tsunami of doom. The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who know what to do with things sold at Michael's craft store and the rest of us.


When the pencils are fresh and the notebooks are new and the kids' backpacks don't look like they lined the den of a pack of filthy hyenas? I tapped out somewhere in April and at this point, it is a miracle my kids are still even going to school. I have no idea how I missed the correspondence on this (because I'm not checking backpacks is just a theory), but Brandon is the Costume and Project Parent and I am the Daily Grinder, which is a division of labor we agreed on to ensure our kids actually graduate one day and move out, but he is out of town on a mancation, so this is on me. Please note my scarf hanging out the bottom of his vest, as well as the soccer socks stretched over his Adidas pants.
Speaking on behalf of this latter group, we are intimidated as soon as we walk in a crafts store. Put them on your Facebook to send a subtle message (or not so subtle), or just share them on your private blog. Moms, remember how you packed innovative and nutritional lunches and laid clothes out the night before and labeled shelves for each child's work and school correspondence and completed homework in a timely manner? I can only handle around two, so I'm going with Sydney and Caleb because they both like to read and the other three are just going to have to enroll in Life Skills Class one day and develop a trade. It takes her about six minutes to sound out each word, and so if the book is one hundred words, well, I don't specialize in math but I am telling you that I am stuck in that room FOREVER.
And why do we have to do this at bedtime when I'm one click away from becoming that scary under-the-bed-mother in "Mama" (GO TO BED OR I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE AND THEN HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS A TERRIFYING CLOWN.) I know having an emerging reader is exciting.
I cannot even handle signing a folder in late May; a colonial costume is cause for full, unrestrained despair.


I want to live in your imaginary world where my failure to do the School Stuff doesn't mean our kid is the only one not wearing a purple shirt or didn't have his pictures in the slideshow or didn't bring in a handmade card for his teacher like every other student. Next year's teachers will get a fresher version of us in August, and they won't even know the levels of suckage we will succumb to by May. I will never finish and turn it all in and get it to the (correct) Room Mom and get it all emailed and I am pretty sure the final week of school will never be over and this is the end for me. But at the end of the school year, when I've logged approximately 688 million hours with such gripping plots like The mother and the brother went to the store, which takes 12 minutes to decode, then I have to look at the ceiling and sing hymns in my brain to get through it. In September, this might have produced something noteworthy, with pictures, perhaps, even some thoughtful components to describe his winning qualities, but as we've used up all our bandwidth, we yanked trash out of our actual trash can, glued it to a poster, and called it a day. We have categorized all quotes with different topics and tags like love quotes, inspirational, motivational, life, friendship, success, smile, achievement and belief quotes. Everyone love good meaningful quotes so share famous picture quotes with your friends and loved one.Our mission is to motivate, boost self confiedence and inspire people to Love life, live life and surf life with words.



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