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Some horses appear to beA  unusually touchy, angry, dangerous, nervous, pig headed, stubborn, left or right handed, stiff, poorly gaited etc. This rule basically suggests that a€?manya€™ and in fact in my experience with horses a€?mosta€™ altered behaviours have a physical root cause!A  It is obviously important to follow this rule because most physical causes are a€?treatablea€™ whilst attempts at treating psychological disorders can be less rewarding .
Let us now take a closer look at some of the altered behaviours of our equine friends and explore the possible physical causes of these. 1) Races well in Sydney (clockwise) but doesna€™t handle Melbourne tracks (anticlockwise) the reverse too well .
TREATMENT:- A respiratory workup, followed by appropriate surgery and rehabilitation protocols.
TREATMENT - Sweating has been reduced in some cases where the condition has not progressed to a€?non-sweatinga€™.
As much as these are a€? learneda€™ habits often associated with boxed horses and boredom, their frequency & intensity are very often increased in horses suffering from other physically abnormal conditions. Aside from the odd case of a€?ear mitea€™ these are most often a€?hyper-responsivea€™ cases involving NP triggered by trauma to upper cervical joint complexes. TREATMENT :- several medical, sunglasses, and a positive response in some early cases to CVMUA. Horses with breathing problems are almost always worse on heavy tracks as more muscular effort goes into limb control and less into breathing control.
If lameness workups are negative or lameness treatment is unsuccessful then you should always consider NP. Horses with pharyngeal breathing problems often cheat by taking a little a€?emergency aira€™ through their mouths ( mouth breathe) during exercise.
Could be just a horse with speed and no stamina, but you should always try to eliminate breathing problems. Skin blood supply ( nutrient supply) is under the control of the sympathetic nervous system which is also involved in the neuropathic pain NP cycle. TREATMENT:-A  have the horse examined for gastric ulceration and then if significant treat with appropriate medication. As the great Horatio Hayes wrote this problem is more often the fault of the limb that doesna€™t remove itself in time rather than that of the striking hoof.
There are many causes including poor racing surfaces and ill health but also occurs at with some horses that suffer from LCH of the forelimbs.
Poor or reduced nutrient blood supply to laminar tissues of hoof means minimal growth rates and poor quality horn. As stated before most choke ( pharyngeal collapse and displacement of the soft palate) occurs when the horse is asked for maximum effort or stride and thence head and neck are extended.
In the simplest terms neuropathic pain (NP) unlike orthopaedic pain ( joint, tendon ligament) is not an inflammatory condition and therefore will not respond to anti-inflammatory medication like bute! A combination of severe gastric ulceration and pre race apprehension can occasionally lead to colic.
Some throat coughs ( not a€?deepa€™ chest coughing) are due to the irritation that occurs when a horses palate displaces out of sequence. The likelihood of a horses airway collapsing increases proportionately with the pressure applied to the airways. Research over the last 20 years has revealed that many of the altered behaviours that were previously thought of simply as a€?bad habitsa€™ are in fact symptoms of physical problems and not psychological. NOTE-The appropriate person should be an equine veterinarian who has had enough experience dealing with problems in these specific areas.
In conclusion - there are some abnormal behaviours which are purely environmental but the vast majority have physical abnormalities triggering them. Since lighted candles can be problematic with puppies in the house, my friend suggested we build an electronic-candle bonfire and sent her husband to buy just the right ones.
I spoke briefly about the Buddha tradition of offering a Metta Prayer; first for self, then those closest to us, and then to everyone everywhere. To celebrate the creative spirit in all of us, I presented each of them with a drawing I had done of each of them based on an earlier time in Life. Here now, there is no way to know if this different kind of Winter Solstice celebration had meaning for them, but their upturned faces will live in my memory as a time when my intention was only to share love for them, for me, and for the creative process which is Life.
As this new year begins, I offer this Metta Prayer: May everyone everywhere receive a moment of pure love that can sustain them through Lifea€™s many changes. We stand and sit together in the silence of our prayers and observe the vastness before us. We chose on the same day, at the same time, to stop and to see the mountain and each other. So often when I consider what experiences have shaped me, my thoughts bring up the men of my Life.
Today as I reflect more deeply about being shaped by experiences, it is the women who have continually touched my Life and who are held most deeply in my heart with gratitude. Not to be overlooked are my younger sisters; together they have taught me how to care for another. Perhaps the most overlooked experience-shaping women are all those who have given and received love without expectation of reward or credit.
As I move towards a€?old age,a€? it is not how fast I can run, how well I can write, or how well my accomplishments will be remembered that sustains me. It is easy to believe that the opposite of love is hate and the opposite of fear is courage. This concept is difficult to accept if we equate fear to weakness and avoidance of physical harm as the only fear. So new were the views from this direction, I missed the path entrance that would take me on around the lake to the dam and back home. So there I stood wanting both things; to protect my knee and to know where I had missed the path. Asking what I most want is a process that serves me well for big decisions; I often sit quietly before acting. We stand face-to-face and as he explains the importance of getting his name right, the ancestors within him shine through the sincerity of his eyes and soft voice. He is a black man in the autumn of his life; and me, I guess most would say I am a white woman in the winter of mine. From high atop the Circus arena looking down, a giant, dark-blue curtain divides two worlds.
On the one side of the giant curtain is the crowd; excited by the bright lights and colors theya€™ve come to see. On the other side of the giant curtain, back-stage, are the performers, the animals, the equipment, and staffers who care for them. At the bottom of the separating curtain, the would-be performers ready themselves to cross into the other world. As the show ends and the rigging begins to come down, a young woman from the audience approaches; she asks if she can look down over the curtain to the back-stage area.
In that moment, it occurred to me that I too had prepared at home in private, and then had come to the arena to perform my roles. During my journey home, the numbness was there inside me, and I sat with it feeling and thinking very little; just letting it be there. In those few minutes of deep pain followed by a sacred touch of deep healing, it seemed like my heart expanded and I was finally free of the past. Now as I lighten my load in preparation for my move across country, it feels so right that this beautiful bed of comfort from my past moves too. At this time of Thanksgiving, the promise of each moment fills my being with gratitude for my transformation from living in a bed of thorns to joyfully sharing a life lived fully. This week chatting with friends, someone said that I ran on my own time, and I said that I ran on kairos time. On my way home, I remembered that when my children were young, I told them that in order to use a word they needed to know how to spell it and what it meant. As chronos time passes, I want to be more awake to the kairos time in my life; to be so present in my life that I can feel each moment with clarity and gratitude.
To add to my self-judgment, the young woman who had inspired my longing to try stone carving was unexpectedly occupying the table next to mine along with her friend, who was also an accomplished stone carver. The only thing to do at this point was to begin; the instructor suggested an abstract design as he does for most beginners.
The next day it seemed like a good idea to look for photos of abstract stone carvings online.
The instructor sent a supportive email, and I returned his email saying that changing my mind was not likely. I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not succeeding. YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter.
Now the way that the book winds up is this: A Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich.
The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by it.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on, had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a spelling-book. I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke; for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't know.
WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of the widow's garden, stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our heads.
Tom he made a sign to mea€”kind of a little noise with his moutha€”and we went creeping away on our hands and knees.
As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, around the garden fence, and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of the house.
We went to a clump of bushes, and Tom made everybody swear to keep the secret, and then showed them a hole in the hill, right in the thickest part of the bushes. Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath, and asked Tom if he got it out of his own head.
They talked it over, and they was going to rule me out, because they said every boy must have a family or somebody to kill, or else it wouldn't be fair and square for the others.
Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with, and I made my mark on the paper.
Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now, and when they waked him up he was scared, and cried, and said he wanted to go home to his ma, and didn't want to be a robber any more.
So they all made fun of him, and called him cry-baby, and that made him mad, and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets.
Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much, only Sundays, and so he wanted to begin next Sunday; but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it on Sunday, and that settled the thing.
WELL, I got a good going-over in the morning from old Miss Watson on account of my clothes; but the widow she didn't scold, but only cleaned off the grease and clay, and looked so sorry that I thought I would behave awhile if I could. Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year, and that was comfortable for me; I didn't want to see him no more.
I thought all this over for two or three days, and then I reckoned I would see if there was anything in it.
I went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile where you go through the high board fence.
Miss Watson's nigger, Jim, had a hair-ball as big as your fist, which had been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox, and he used to do magic with it. I stood a-looking at him; he set there a-looking at me, with his chair tilted back a little.
He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then he said he was going down town to get some whisky; said he hadn't had a drink all day. Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher's and bullyragged him, and tried to make him give up the money; but he couldn't, and then he swore he'd make the law force him.
Nowadays, more and more people realize the importance of being healthy instead of having numerous material things with which they can be proud of. Even though they appear to be common to more health problems, the ones below will always be easily observed to any sore throats.
Still, in case you don’t wish to contact it, then be sure to add in your daily routine a number of hot fluids that will help your organism get the secretions needed for helping you getting over the sore throat.
While out at Target on New Years Eve I was looking for a natural product to offer my immune system a boost and to help fight my cold. White spots tonsils, pain, std, strep, fever, What white spots tonsils strep throat, pain, fever cold?
If anyone is to be consulted ( professional person) it would seem logical to call in an equine psychiatrist. Horses being such large animals are often best treated under anaesthetic using a method referred to as a CVMUA ( cervical vertebral mobilisation under anaesthetic.).
When in will lean back attempting to get out the back ( not the front) - This horse is anticipatingA  a a€?bad experiencea€™ quite possibly some form of asphyxiation or asthmatic type sensation, that is a a€?respiratory or a€?breathing problema€™. Increased sensitivity means that when you leg up a 52 kg rider the horse senses a 520 kg rider and responds accordingly.
Walkers have quit walking once they were able to breathe properly &A  treatment for NP can reduce there propensity to weave.
In addition a significant percentage dona€™t make any noise and are therefore not being considered for a€?breathing problema€™ workups.
They are actually still breathing but inefficiently so they will eventually stop as if shot. If on the inside of horses may appear not to try until they end up out the back and then suddenly pick up the bit and charge home down the extreme outside. As much as these are asthmatic type horses they can often be helped by reducing the pressure on lungs by improving upper airway supply. Horse shifts try to transfer weight off fore quarters onto hinds when working to relieve pressure on sensitive fore feet. Health Test - Healthy hoof will wear aluminium's away whilst poor hoof is the opposite a€?shoe wears it downa€™ particularly in the heal area.
What is less well understood is why certain individuals seem to be more prone to suffering from this condition.
If a horse is concerned about the possible consequences of extension then it wona€™t and will more likely adopt a shorter stride and head neck lift position. If there is a poor or nil response to anti-inflammatory medication then start thinking NP!!
Horses with LCH ( laminar corial hypersensitivity) will often try to avoid this then more a€?painfula€™ gait. Should also check for a throat condition that allows air to fill the stomach during exercise.
You might be surprised how much weight horses will put on once breathing problems are dealt with.
Because of the increasing complexity of different areas of veterinary medicine and surgery we are seeing more and more veterinarians concentrating on specific areas. Many horses with breathing problems DON'T MAKE NOISES and SCOPE NORMALLYa€™ ( standing scope). A horseman's approach to training is along the lines of the better the horse feels the better it will run.A  Horsemen believe that altered behaviour is the horses means of communicating concern.
Personally I have found that they are out there but are usually quiet individuals who dona€™t seek the attention of the press. This year as I planned my first shared celebration with family, I was struggling to come up with a way to keep it simple enough for those unfamiliar with my process and still retain its deep meaning for me.
My daughter wanted to help me return my rental car early in the day so I didna€™t get a chance to shop to support an idea of celebration I had come up with earlier. I scattered the small cards on the table in no particular order and invited each of them and then me to choose one. Now as I write here, I am reminded of a Christmas Day long ago when I was wondering how different people with different traditions could possibly find a common ground. My habita€”started with my Mom long agoa€”is to turn it over in the hand of someone nearby to spread the luck of finding it.
He speaks out of the stillness and says, a€?It is a blessed day and you are part of that.a€? I agree, shake his hand, and get into my car feeling at peace without further words. The strong Father figure, the older brother, the brother-in-law, the clever science teacher, my first mentor, my first love and my most current loves, my sons and grandsons by blood as well as those adopted within my heart have influenced my physical life in so many ways. First of course is my Mother, who gave me Life and taught me the benefits of caring for my body and my surroundings. When she was a baby, our shared experiences taught me about determination and strength of purpose. In my Life they have been called friends, but that does not describe who they have been in my Life and how they have shaped my choices. It has been my choices in response to shared experiences that have shaped my sense of joy and meaning.
When examined closely as states of being, love and fear become each othera€™s opposite, and Lifea€™s energy flows from us depending on which state is most prevalent.
The larger concept includes fear of loss, fear of non-acceptance, fear of loneliness, fear of being blamed, fear of not being special, fear of not being loved, fear of not being able to love, fear of not being enough, fear of our own fear; the list is endless.
Instead of coming to the dam, I found myself about to cross the golf cart bridge at the opposite side of the lake.
He taught me the importance of being present and trusting that the experience Ia€™m having with another will be the one we need. One moment they are back-stage sharing and living their lives and the next moment they cross over and become their roles in the bright lights under the big top. Their faces are bright and concentrated with wonder as they gaze upon the incredible performers as they fulfill their roles. I tell her a€?noa€? because that is my job here high atop the arena where both worlds are visible.
The portrayals of the characters created an environment of real feelings made visible, maybe too visible for me to take in immediately. Compassion flooded my mind and body for all us humans that have harmed each other in ways we have not been able to say out loud; those who have numbed out for fear of feeling more pain than we could bare. As I let go of the past and live more and more in the present, my bed has found a new home. It pleases me that one so lovely as this future nurse will share the next chapter of my bed of healing.


When asked what that meant, I gave the explanation that I had heard so many years ago and had embraced as my own definition of how I would like to live. If they did both of those things and still felt it was appropriate for their use, I was okay with that.
To see the magic of a flower bursting into bloom, to watch the changing of the seasons, to hear the mating call of the owl outside my window, to feel the love of my grandchild as he shares his Halloween candy on Facetime, to feel the energy of my daughter as she prepares dinner in the background, to laugh out loud with a friend, to watch the sunset, to hear excitement in the voice of others, to feel the wind in my hair. As with much of my experience, the story of the stone came first and the wisdom of the stone followed in sometimes painful and sometimes amazing small steps.
The next day, with the pressure of performance for others no longer triggering my fears, I set up a permanent workstation in the garage. My process of co-creation with the stones inspired a poem and became a Mothera€™s Day present for my daughter.
The shadings have not been done in a haphazard fashion, or by guesswork; but painstakingly, and with the trustworthy guidance and support of personal familiarity with these several forms of speech. She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do nothing but sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up. A She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. A By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody was off to bed. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go booma€”booma€”booma€”twelve licks; and all still againa€”stiller than ever. A Well, likely it was minutes and minutes that there warn't a sound, and we all there so close together.
A He leaned his back up against a tree, and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of mine.
A Tom said he slipped Jim's hat off of his head and hung it on a limb right over him, and Jim stirred a little, but he didn't wake. A We went down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben Rogers, and two or three more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard.
A He said, some of it, but the rest was out of pirate-books and robber-books, and every gang that was high-toned had it. A But Tom give him five cents to keep quiet, and said we would all go home and meet next week, and rob somebody and kill some people.
A They agreed to get together and fix a day as soon as they could, and then we elected Tom Sawyer first captain and Jo Harper second captain of the Gang, and so started home. A I says to myself, if a body can get anything they pray for, why don't Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork? A He used to always whale me when he was sober and could get his hands on me; though I used to take to the woods most of the time when he was around.
A He said there was loads of them there, anyway; and he said there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and things.
A I got an old tin lamp and an iron ring, and went out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till I sweat like an Injun, calculating to build a palace and sell it; but it warn't no use, none of the genies come.
I had been to school most all the time and could spell and read and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever. Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey, and the hiding I got next day done me good and cheered me up. A I reached for some of it as quick as I could to throw over my left shoulder and keep off the bad luck, but Miss Watson was in ahead of me, and crossed me off.
A His hair was long and tangled and greasy, and hung down, and you could see his eyes shining through like he was behind vines. When I'd read about a half a minute, he fetched the book a whack with his hand and knocked it across the house. When he had got out on the shed he put his head in again, and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to be better than him; and when I reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in again, and told me to mind about that school, because he was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn't drop that. So he took him to his own house, and dressed him up clean and nice, and had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with the family, and was just old pie to him, so to speak. A He said he reckoned a body could reform the old man with a shotgun, maybe, but he didn't know no other way. In case you wonder why, well the answer is as simple as that: health can’t always be bought, and the best way to preserve it healthy is to keep an eye on it anytime, anywhere and anyhow. Starting with a little pain or a scratchy sensation in the throat, the health problem can easily develop and turn into something you can not get over with as easily. In addition, in case of a sore throat you may be opened to refuse to eat, especially common at infants and toddlers. In case you didn’t, then the lecture has actually developed your knowledge in a way that at the next sore throat you will be able to both keep an eye on it and also, to know how to avoid it as much as possible. Think about someone asking you to enter their private pool where they had tried to drown you the week before. The same horse is often described as having a€?shouldera€™ and or foot problems and is a a€?short stridera€™.
They are often short gaited and may also have poor hoof wall texture which leads to increased wear.
90% of a horses spinal mobility or range of movement (ROM) is in its neck ( cervical vertebral joints).
May also have a tendency to pull in work = try to get it over with a€?the sooner the bettera€™. They are actually holding their upper airways or throat open ( increased muscle tension) in an attempt to try and prevent it collapsing and thence a€?chokinga€™. This is often because they are anxious to a€?get it over witha€™ and end up using up too much fuel too quickly. Reduced cervical or neck mobility means reduced shoulder mobility and reduced fore limb gait. Horses with increased base levels of corial sensitivity are more likely to suffer from this condition. Passing gases at the other end could reduce the increased intra abdominal pressures caused by swallowing air.
Treadmill scoping ( at exercise) will expose more of these silent breathing problems BUT NOT ALL! Each of us read our part of the prayer out loud: May you have a deep and abiding peace, May your life be filled with wonder and gratitude, May you know the source of well being, May you know joy, May your life be filled with abundance. It was in an unexpectedly quiet moment after we sat down for dinner that my 2+ years-old grand-son said almost in a whisper, a€?Merry Christmas Grams.a€? He went on around the table wishing all there a Merry Christmas by name. And although there is a summer breeze, the air surrounding him is quiet and filled with calm.
The experiences we have shared have triggered within me the need to shrink at times and to grow by leaps and bounds at other times. Our relationship was sometimes contentious, which created in me a need to think for myself and to stand firmly within my choices.
Together we have shared victories and defeats, wins and losses, and have stood together and faced our new futures with strength and resolve; a strength and resolve built on shared experiences and love for each other.
They have listened when I needed an ear, they have been honest with me when I needed clarity, they have called me when I was lonely, they have tolerated me when I was difficult, they have loved me when self-love seemed impossible; their loyalty has been a sustaining force as I make choices that may not agree with the choices of others.
So today, especially for the women who have deeply shared themselves and their experiences with me, I am filled with the shape of gratitude.
Now what seems true is that fear of being a victim kept me from the intimacy for which my soul longed. They look for their seats in anticipation of the performers on the high wire; performers who will become clowns, dancers, jugglers, ring masters, animal trainers, etc.
A beautiful young girl becomes a princess carrying the American flag on the back of a giant elephant. On the back-stage side of the curtain there is the intimacy of close friends and family, sharing and contributing their talents to put on the greatest show possible.
The performers create their bigger-than-life magic for the center ring and my job is to protect their privacy and their illusion when they return to Life back-stage.
It was amazing to see both sides of the curtain simultaneously and the miracle of transformation of those passing through.
Although Ia€™m not sure what was going on with the others there, inside me was complete stillness and a growing numbness.
The family portrayed was dysfunctional to say the least; it kept many secrets and the only emotions the members seemed free to share with each other were anger and disappointment.
Compassion for anyone anywhere that came into this physical existence to become aware of the rage within along with the courage to heal it. No matter how I sought comfort, it seemed I was lying in a a€?bed of thornsa€? and each movement tore at my soul; so many questions and no answers. You may be thinking that all this remembering and romanticizing about a bed is just that; just thinking. She said that chronos time was literally minutes and seconds as expressed on clocks and that kairos time was the time it took an egg to hatch, the time it took a leaf to fall from its branch, and the time it took for a butterfly to come into being. The part of me that gets excited to try new things immediately searched out a a€?class for beginners,a€? or so I thought. My fear of failure was more present than the stone before me, and my mind chatter was pervasive. I would try carving for 30 minutes at a time and see if my patience and energy could sustain that much effort. Earlier when I read that Michael Angelo said, Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it, I knew intellectually what he meant. Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the treesa€”something was a stirring.
A But I said no; he might wake and make a disturbance, and then they'd find out I warn't in.
Afterwards Jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance, and rode him all over the State, and then set him under the trees again, and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it. A So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half, to the big scar on the hillside, and went ashore. A It swore every boy to stick to the band, and never tell any of the secrets; and if anybody done anything to any boy in the band, whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family must do it, and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed them and hacked a cross in their breasts, which was the sign of the band. A I was most ready to cry; but all at once I thought of a way, and so I offered them Miss Watsona€”they could kill her.
A Well, about this time he was found in the river drownded, about twelve mile above town, so people said. A They had come up from the quarry and stood around the stile a while, and then went on around the garden fence. A So I went to him that night and told him pap was here again, for I found his tracks in the snow. A And after supper he talked to him about temperance and such things till the old man cried, and said he'd been a fool, and fooled away his life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf and be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the judge would help him and not look down on him. Still, there are a number of common health problems that usually can’t be avoided, such as the sore throat.
Still, you don’t have to panic yet – here are some other sore throats symptoms, which will help you, identify it and get the treatment needed.
Still, the only thing needed in this case is to keep an eye on the sore throat’s development, as you don’t want it to turn out as being one of the worst health problems that can affect your entire life. To help out, I used Breathe Right strips, those strips that stick to the lower part of your nose. NOTE ill-fitting saddles and poor riders can exacerbate the problem but they are not the cause.
These horses will try to avoid stretching out their necks and will thus climb, drop their hind quarters and not swim efficiently.
These horses if taken to a hot humid climate will often progress to a€?non-sweatinga€™ as sweat glands fatigue due to being constantly overworked. Interestingly as much as these horses are a type, similar to human asthmatics, it does appear that upper airways problems are often the trigger for these attacks.
The harder the work load, the more they mouth breathe and the more they contaminate their lungs. Laminitis can not always be avoided but returning laminar corial sensitivities to normal or near normal will reduce the likelihood. As with all services these days it is up to you to explore and investigate the possibilities.
By opening my heart to the creative process for which I have such deep gratitude, the Universe supported me at every turn.
Our collective energy grew quiet and this collective prayer became my spoken hope for our family and everyone everywhere. My actions in response to those shared experiences have without a doubt had a profound part of shaping who I am and who I am becoming. Without any specific effort, she taught me to sing, to write poetry, to take risks, and to trust that being who I am will serve me best. Perhaps even in disagreement, it is a bond of unconditional love found nowhere else; it is ours. As an adult, she has stood by me with a loyalty supported by one of the most loving hearts I have known.
When those choices have created pleasure they have cheered; when those choices have created disappointment, they have stood with me in silence.
At other times, we may take on a project from a state of fear to avoid an emotion we dona€™t want to acknowledge or feel; to stay busy. They seem to have permanence, but when observed closely they are filled with cracks and colors created by their adjustments to their environment. Up until this moment, I believed it was because the wind blew my hair as I stood on the hillside.
These woods are familiar to me and so I turned and bushwhacked up through the trees back to my well-worn path. He and I are the collective experience of generations raised together separately, and within us both is the deep human need to know that we, all of us, matter. And yet, here we are; two open hearts meeting through the experiences we have in common and our courage to be real in the presence of the other. When I left the arena, I gave thanks for the learning about illusion and intimacy that my visual Circus experience had offered. There was a residue of heaviness as I got into my car and began the long drive home over the mountain. It was the story of kept secrets, addictions, betrayals, separations, denials, suicide, and judgments.
My heart began to beat harder, faster and my throat seemed closed to the air around me; breathing was difficult. Our level of healing comes in ita€™s own way and time and catches us when we are brave enough to experience the deeper pain and just be with it.
In a flash of wisdom borne out of acceptance for what was not to be, a voice asked me to begin again and I responded. As it fell from its box, its pieces glistened as the sunlight entered the room and bounced and scattered along its surfaces.
Her eyes sparkle and dance like stars filled with the enthusiasm and challenge of her youth. I loved the concept of time described as kairos time, but didna€™t investigate the meaning further.
She tried to find it on the Internet without success so I said Ia€™d find it and send her the web link. Immediately I wanted to feel inside me when and where I had experienced a kairos time moment. The instructor chose a stone for me, which was my first encounter with my fear of not being in control of my experience.
I had my stone, I had my photo idea, and I had determination to make something from this imperfect stone.
Now with the intimate experience of sharing and being open to the wisdom of the stone, I understand what he meant with my heart.
A Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year rounda€”more than a body could tell what to do with.
A Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use.
A Miss Watson's big nigger, named Jim, was setting in the kitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was a light behind him.
Then Tom said he hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip in the kitchen and get some more. A And next time Jim told it he said they rode him down to New Orleans; and, after that, every time he told it he spread it more and more, till by and by he said they rode him all over the world, and tired him most to death, and his back was all over saddle-boils.
Tom poked about amongst the passages, and pretty soon ducked under a wall where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole.
And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark, and if he did he must be sued; and if he done it again he must be killed. A We used to hop out of the woods and go charging down on hog-drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market, but we never hived any of them. A He said if I warn't so ignorant, but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know without asking. A I started out, after breakfast, feeling worried and shaky, and wondering where it was going to fall on me, and what it was going to be. A But he said HE was satisfied; said he was boss of his son, and he'd make it warm for HIM. In case you have difficulty when swallowing, you should better see it as a bad sign of catching a sore throat.
Here are some of the things that have worked to lesson my head cold or make me more comfortable while sick.
It opens your nose up a little bit so you can breathe more easily- it’s noticeably different. When I got home and realized it was Apple flavored (not my favorite), I made it my New Years cocktail and added rum. When I was able to just rest and relax, bad reality TV, like Say Yes to the Dress and What Not to Wear, filled my time. These horses suffer from loss of ROM ( range of movement) and often experience pain when they try to bend.


It was a painful time of self-discovery, and the process of change consisted of many small steps.
As I arrived there, I wondered where I had made my mistake; but having a sore knee, thought perhaps I should continue the short distance to the dam and home.
His words sooth something deep inside mea€”perhaps all the wounds of those who have come before me. Each time since when Ia€™ve met someone for the first time, I have quieted my mind and truly listened. A small young man becomes a high-flying aerialist when moments before he chatted via his cell phone with his girlfriend on the back-stage side of the curtain. Role-playing is fun, exciting, entertaining, and requires support, practice and skill; however, being stuck in the illusion of a role makes intimacy impossible.
These actions were stirred together with their suppressed feelings and the result was painful fear turned inward and then outward to rage.
There was no place to go and nothing to do except to continue the long drive home in peace and gratitude. She aspires to be a nurse and her warm infectious smile indicated she has the compassion and caring to become a very good one. The concept of kairos time came back to me often over the years since all the clocks in my house are set to a different chronos time, and I rarely know exactly what time it actually is. It would be impossible for my finished carving to be good enough to stand up to the surrounding competition.
Although encouraged by the others, my sense of joy at having found the class was as pale as the alabaster stone. The cleaning of the stone continued during this class and the stone began to have a nice curve about it.
In some places it was very hard, some places very crumbly, some places pure white, some places orangey pink.
Love of the work and stone replaced impatience and with the stone guiding me, we co-created an abstract shape that is called, Moth to the Flame. When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them,a€”that is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. A I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. A Jim was monstrous proud about it, and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice the other niggers. A We went along a narrow place and got into a kind of room, all damp and sweaty and cold, and there we stopped. A And if anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets, he must have his throat cut, and then have his carcass burnt up and the ashes scattered all around, and his name blotted off of the list with blood and never mentioned again by the gang, but have a curse put on it and be forgot forever. A Living in a house and sleeping in a bed pulled on me pretty tight mostly, but before the cold weather I used to slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes, and so that was a rest to me. A There is ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck, but this wasn't one of them kind; so I never tried to do anything, but just poked along low-spirited and on the watch-out.
A Jim got out his hair-ball and said something over it, and then he held it up and dropped it on the floor. A The old man said that what a man wanted that was down was sympathy, and the judge said it was so; so they cried again. Then they tucked the old man into a beautiful room, which was the spare room, and in the night some time he got powerful thirsty and clumb out on to the porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat for a jug of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old time; and towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as a fiddler, and rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places, and was most froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up. Either way you did or not, from now on you will be able to detect it prom the incipient stadium. As well as the ones mentioned above, in case you get your tonsils red and your voice hoarse or muffled, then you should better see a doctor. They are nothing fancy, but the menthol lozenges soothe my throat and stop my cough long enough for me to get a break from the hacking. If your horse is having trouble jumping have a spinal examination performed to see if there is any evidence of stiffness ( reduced ROM) and or NP. In the stillness, he begins to share that he has stopped on the mountain to pray although he is unsure what that prayer might be. She was the person most likely to be holding my hand when my very busy Mother had other hands that needed her. Once I discovered through each small step that I could choose what I wanted to create, my Life began to evolve from a state of love more often. It captures the water among its stones and sends the flowing bubbles into the valley creeks of my neighborhood, also called StoneyCreek.
Here was the golf course, over here were the mountains, and there was a beautiful old tree. Ita€™s about getting their name right because I care; and because in that very moment, there is something beyond their name that matters. The performers are a€?just beingsa€? in preparation for the roles they will play; most are in old jeans and baggy shirts and jackets.
Another slightly older man, who moments before was giving his mom and dad a tour back stage, is now the lead clown contributing his gift of making people laugh to the mix. Eckhart Tolle once said, a€?I am not a spiritual leader when I go into a coffee shop for coffee or tea, Ia€™m just thirsty.a€? Is there a curtain inside you that does not allow intimacy to flourish because you believe the role you are playing is you?
And piece-by-piece, it supported my soula€™s restoration: I slept in it, ate in it, watched TV in it, cried in it, dreamed in it, wrote in it, and laughed in it. My internal clock is usually quite accurate enough for my purposes, and I dona€™t wear a watch, which pleases me greatly. A moment full of potential when I can go beyond thinking about something to feeling the importance of this moment in my life. As this fearful familiar thought appeared, another thought about it not being a competition was a voice of reason that I could hear clearly. Eckhart Tolle once said, a€?I am not a spiritual leader when I go into a coffee shop for coffee or tea, Ia€™m just thirsty.a€?A  Is there a curtain inside you that does not allow intimacy to flourish because you believe the role you are playing is you? As this fearful familiar thought appeared, another thought about it not being a competition was a voice of reason that I could hear clearly.A  Great! A I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary.
A In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.
A Here she was a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody, being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it. A If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepya€”if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places. A Niggers would come miles to hear Jim tell about it, and he was more looked up to than any nigger in that country. A He said there was hundreds of soldiers there, and elephants and treasure, and so on, but we had enemies which he called magicians; and they had turned the whole thing into an infant Sunday-school, just out of spite.
A He had one ankle resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot was busted, and two of his toes stuck through, and he worked them now and then. A And when they come to look at that spare room they had to take soundings before they could navigate it. So without thought, I let a Metta Prayer come through me and wrote a part of it onto each of the five cards. She taught me to accept responsibility, to not whine, and to love deeply in the face of loss and disappointment. Sometimes it rages in noisy cascades, and sometimes it forms quiet ripples over the stones.
A young mother becomes the center of attention as she commands enormous animals all around her and she sparkles without fear.
I can feel my heart beating and opening again to all the difficult and pleasant moments when I was at a crossroad and took a small step toward growth. My mind leaped to judgments about how I should have been present when others were selecting their stones so I would not be stuck with this less than ideal stone. So as not to get behind, I started carving at home; unskillfully struggling with the stone to make it look like the photo.
A Aunt Pollya€”Tom's Aunt Polly, she isa€”and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
A But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable.
Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving.
A But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in there and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table for pay. A Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look him all over, same as if he was a wonder. I spoke briefly about how much this time of year means to me and how in ancient times people built bonfires to remind the sun to return. He talks about choices and consequences, and my energy quiets in memory of other such conversations. We take different paths at times, but we meet in the nurturing field of trusting the universal source of Life to sustain us. If we discover fear and do not want to create from that state, we have an opportunity to choose differently? Compassion, a state of love, for the part of me that still fears victimization brings me back again and again to the present moment; the only time and place where choice is possible. Some of the stones are tiny and some are boulders brought down from the mountain during long-forgotten storms. I hold them in my hand, I look at them, I cherish their beauty, and I do not compare them with any other stone I have seen.
We tell each other about those we love and what sharing our lives with them has supported us in learning.
One person at a time, we are capable of learning to be comfortable in the present experience regardless of our history, race, or gendera€”that is a huge learning. Looking down as some beings perform in the bright lights of the big-ring and some beings stand ready back-stage awaiting their turn, the elephants, camels, horses, and dogs are brought into the dimly-lighted area and made ready for their curtain calls. My intention was to stay with whatever was occurring in this moment for as long as it took to find compassion for the part of me that feels wounded by acts of past betrayal, my own and othera€™s. There are many thoughts from that time that trigger sadness still, but the sight of that sweet a€?bed of healinga€? continues to stir feelings of joy within me.
As she tested it out and smiled up at her Mom, my heart softened with tenderness and joy for the promise such young people represent. In some of those kairos time moments, chronos time stood still and in others, it raced ahead of me and I had to run to catch up. It wasna€™t working, and after hours of grueling effort and messiness, my frustration level was high. Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his hands and knees, and play something on him. A Niggers is always talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever one was talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jim would happen in and say, "Hm! A I went out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long time, but I couldn't see no advantage about ita€”except for the other people; so at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about it any more, but just let it go. Added the meaning of Metta (kindness) to the outside of the envelop along with the definition of Namaste (the light in me honors the light in you). We opened the candles Brenda had suggested, and it was a creative process to get them to work. In him I see no self-pity only acceptance, and he shares how that acceptance has left him in such a peaceful place.
This spot of nature is surrounded by a variety of trees that cast their shadows over me and everything else. We are human, we succeed and stumble, we need to feel we are seen for who we are right now, and we need to demonstrate to each other that we matter; and what seems to be my life lesson over and over again, your need is as great as my own.
Some are running toward the dressing rooms, perhaps arriving late and rushing to make their curtain calls. It is my amazing gift to watch both worlds; there is an instant transformation whether the performer is going into his role or coming back. Even now on cold winter nights, I sometimes take my books and curl up in its softness, fall into a peaceful sleep, and wake restored. I hit the chisel hard with a hammer and a large chip of stone sailed across the porch and away from the curvy part at the stonea€™s top; my design ruined. A Well, I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn't try for it. A Pretty soon a spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up.
This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes; but it seemed a sight longer than that. A What you know 'bout witches?" and that nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat.
A Sometimes the widow would take me one side and talk about Providence in a way to make a body's mouth water; but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold and knock it all down again.
A He never could go after even a turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured up for it, though they was only lath and broomsticks, and you might scour at them till you rotted, and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than what they was before. One old oak tree, near the edge, anchored in the stoney bank reaches with ita€™s mighty branches toward the creek.
Some are dressed in black so they will be less visible as they come and go between the two worlds in support of the others. Kairos is pregnant time, the time of possibilitya€”moments in our day, our week, our month, our year or our lifetime that define us. Defeated I laid down the tools, cleaned up the mess, put the stone in the garage, wrote the instructor an email, and quit the class.
A I didn't need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me. A Then I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough, there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.
A Jim always kept that five-center piece round his neck with a string, and said it was a charm the devil give to him with his own hands, and told him he could cure anybody with it and fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it; but he never told what it was he said to it.
A I judged I could see that there was two Providences, and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the widow's Providence, but if Miss Watson's got him there warn't no help for him any more. A I didn't believe we could lick such a crowd of Spaniards and A-rabs, but I wanted to see the camels and elephants, so I was on hand next day, Saturday, in the ambuscade; and when we got the word we rushed out of the woods and down the hill. The candles were eventually lighted and our circle was formed by our combined effort to make it happen. So I share my love of nature and photography and how I am practicing staying in each moment to find the richness here while grateful for all that has come before and, as much as possible, staying open to whatever the future brings. The hillside behind the creek is eroding red Virginia clay made bare from ita€™s years of withstanding the watera€™s strength and speed. Some are warm, some are round, some are cool, some have deep crevices, and some are so smooth to the touch. I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast every time; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away. A I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n a minute longer, but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try. A Niggers would come from all around there and give Jim anything they had, just for a sight of that five-center piece; but they wouldn't touch it, because the devil had had his hands on it. A I thought it all out, and reckoned I would belong to the widow's if he wanted me, though I couldn't make out how he was a-going to be any better off then than what he was before, seeing I was so ignorant, and so kind of low-down and ornery. A I told him I had an old slick counterfeit quarter that warn't no good because the brass showed through the silver a little, and it wouldn't pass nohow, even if the brass didn't show, because it was so slick it felt greasy, and so that would tell on it every time.
In each of their faces I saw a different energy, but the one constant in all of them was their willingness to participate.
There is no attempt to a€?fixa€? or get something from each other, we are merely sharing our history or holding space for the other to share. The time flew by and without my knowing it three hours passed; the stone was beginning to form itself. A Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy; next he begun to snorea€”and then I was pretty soon comfortable again. A Jim was most ruined for a servant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches. A (I reckoned I wouldn't say nothing about the dollar I got from the judge.) I said it was pretty bad money, but maybe the hair-ball would take it, because maybe it wouldn't know the difference. He says, a€?Me too.a€? I tell him sharing the a€?photo of the daya€? with friends and family adds to my feeling of connectedness.
Their body languages are telling their stories, which cannot be heard atop the arena because of the high-energy music that fills the air around and above both worlds. They brought opportunity for change and I had the courage to embrace them, sometimes with eagerness and sometimes with trembling. A You do that when you've lost a horseshoe that you've found, instead of nailing it up over the door, but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you'd killed a spider. A Jim smelt it and bit it and rubbed it, and said he would manage so the hair-ball would think it was good.
The animals seem quiet for the most part from this distance and some of the people are petting them, grooming them, leading them, and seeing that they are made ready for the big center circle when ita€™s time for their performance on the bright side of the curtain. A He said he would split open a raw Irish potato and stick the quarter in between and keep it there all night, and next morning you couldn't see no brass, and it wouldn't feel greasy no more, and so anybody in town would take it in a minute, let alone a hair-ball.
Now and then a doga€™s happy bark floats upward and is heard even at this distance high above them. Without force, without frustration the stone art was taking a shape that was pleasing to my eyes. Sometimes a sharp call or a loud giggle floats upward and fades before crossing the barrier of the curtain. Kairos moments are a string of moments that possess possibilitya€”clarity brought on often by pain, uncertainty or crisis.



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08.12.2013, author: admin
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