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admin | Ex Boyfriend Back | 12.04.2016
By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. It’s four ways to put your painful past behind you and open your heart to what’s next. Moving from heartbreak to healing love begins with solid steps—the determination to get up, redouble your resolve, and embark on the journey once again. Reader Blogs are not moderated, Jagran is not responsible for the views, opinions and content posted by the readers.
One of the most common characteristics I find in today’s woman is described best in a former client Sandy. Unbeknownst to Sandy, she had an unconscious belief that told her in order to be loved by another, she had to have herself all together; otherwise, she wouldn’t be “good enough” and could end up alone. This “not good enough” theme can drive women to not only take on much more than they should, but also tolerate far more than is good for them or their relationship. It was extremely difficult for Sandy to dive inward and claim her responsibility for her part in the failed marriage, but in the end she was thrilled she did. So you live in New York or are visiting soon and you want to know the best date night restaurants? If you are in a relationship—or want to be—you’re sure to find yourself in a crowd of new people at some point.
Dear Sara: I loved the letter that you posted from the young lady who was struggling with dating at first. Can we all agree that being controlling is one of the most frustrating traits a person can have, especially when it comes to dating and relationships? One thing we can all agree on: In the world we live in, there is no shortage of information, input, and advice … and no shortage of people dispensing it. People ask themselves questions like these all the time when they think something is “off” in their relationship.

It’s a myth that date-less Saturday nights feel the most depressing when you’re unattached. But if you’ve been bitten so often that everything—and everyone—has begun to look like a venomous snake, then you’ve taken a good thing too far. Sandy’s married life looked perfect on the outside: she had a beautiful daughter, loving husband, and blossoming career. She could have easily walked away as the martyr, but the truth is, women like Sandy who feel they need to “do it all” often have internal, unconscious shame driving them to be everything to everyone. Sandy knew how to put on a good show that looked like everything was great in her life, however, when she found herself close to bankruptcy and filled with shame, she knew she had to address her feelings. Her anger was guiding her to realize all the ways she had dismissed her needs to make her partner happy. This can be scary to someone who unconsciously believes they aren’t lovable if they show flaws. Soon, Sandy learned that allowing her needs to be met actually felt like claiming her self-worth because she was demonstrating to herself and others that her needs mattered just as much as anyone else’s.
Not long after gaining this new awareness did Sandy enter the dating world and soon after find a healthy relationship that demonstrates mutual love, respect, and giving toward one another, allowing each person to be their best.
Take an emotional empowerment journey and you will likely learn a whole lot more about yourself, which will in turn help you find someone who shares your values. You expect the encounter to be fun, exciting, and maybe even a step toward something bigger down the line. She eventually realized that she enjoyed being single and meeting all types of people and loving them.
So long as you carry a flamethrower everywhere you go—or perhaps refuse to leave the house at all—a new, healthier relationship doesn’t stand a chance.
While this may sound overly religious or metaphysical, forgiveness is, in fact, quite practical.

Decisive action is needed to confirm to yourself, and perhaps your new partner, that you’ve made a clean break with the past.
The problem was that inside her marriage, there were some major cracks, one of which was due to her husband having been underemployed for nearly 8 years. Often, simply owning your pain and anger out loud is enough to relieve the pressure and release it for good.
It is easy to fall into a post-breakup twilight zone in which old expectations and emotions hang around like ghosts at a crime scene.
A common misconception is that to forgive someone is to let them “get away” with something, to call offensive or hurtful behavior “okay” when it plainly wasn’t. Her husband didn’t like to discuss what was going on within him or her, which meant any time she tried to talk to him he would accuse her of being too pessimistic. The truth is, forgiveness means choosing to cancel old emotional debts—and free yourself to get away with your heart intact, able to enjoy whatever comes next. Only one thing is certain: To be lucky in love you must forget the times you lost, go “all in” again, and roll the dice with full belief you’ll be a winner this time.
For years, Sandy felt isolated and alone, being the main breadwinner, as well as the primary caregiver of her child and home. She did her best to shield her husband’s fragile self-worth from her extended family and friends by coming up with excuses as to why they couldn’t get together or go out.

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