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That wasn’t as bad as the time I logged on to my computer at home in Fort Greene and got a message that asked, forgoing any preamble, what the date, time, and location of my birth were.
I’ve been fielding such messages—or, rather, my father has—more and more these days, having crossed the unmarriageable threshold for an Indian woman, 30, two years ago.
Many women, Indian or not, whose parents have had a long, healthy marriage hope we will, too, while fearing that perhaps we’ve made everything irreparably worse by expecting too much. Donna Simpson might be listed as the fattest woman in the world since she has the ultra big body size. And I’m not talking about some anorexic chic, who needs to gain weight, but about a woman who already wears XXXXXXXL clothes. Presumably sent to determine how astrologically harmonious a match with a Hindu suitor I’d be, the e-mail was dismayingly abrupt.

My parents, in a very earnest bid to secure my eternal happiness, have been trying to marry me off to, well, just about anyone lately. Believe it or not, there are women out there who would love to gain weight, instead of losing it. In my childhood home near Sacramento, my father is up at night on arranged-marriage Websites. He loves to shock Americans by recounting how he lost sight of her at a bazaar the day after their wedding and lamented to himself that he would never find her again, as he’d forgotten what she looked like. He’s very happily married, with a baby daughter, but he also never had a girlfriend before his wedding day. So while we, as modern Indian women, eschew the idea of marrying without love, the idea that we’re being too picky tends to nag even more than it otherwise would.

I was more precocious when it came to affairs of the heart, having enjoyed my first kiss with cute Matt from the football squad at 14. Donna Simpson still trying hard to be the world fattest woman, she try to gain more 400lbs for her goal.42-year-old Donna Simpson weighs 600 lbs, but she’s working hard to put on even more weight, and reach her goal of 1,000 lbs, as soon as possible. Now, the overweight New Jersey resident is eating monstrous quantities of fast-food and sweets, in her quest to get a heart-attack become the fattest woman on the planet.Her 150 lbs-heavy husband is behind her 100%. She started a website where men pay to see her eat fast-food…All I can say is…good luck, Donna?

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