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admin | Ex Boyfriend Back | 12.02.2016
Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. When youre hoping to get back with your ex girlfriend in a smooth way, there are a few factors to keep in mind.Doing what needs to be done and not doing what doesnt,will contribute to making sure that your chances of getting her back again increases massively. Below are some tips that will be useful when you are trying to get back together with your ex girlfriend. You ought to know that getting back together from a break up takes time, so make sure that you give your ex girlfriend, as well as yourself, enough time to cope with the break up. Offer each other the opportunity to discuss the issues youhave in your relationship including why you separated andwhat you think it will take to reunite. Playing mind games to manipulate your ex into wanting you back is always a bad idea and will only cause more problems. Being too pushy and possessive with your ex girlfriend will only irritate your ex girlfriend and ruin your chances with her, so make sure that you avoid acting like that.
Make sure that you are sincere in your decision to want to get back together with your ex girlfriend, especially sinceit isnt just your feelings that are involved in your decision but hers as well. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.
We are quick to want to believe that love will conquer all, but the reality is that is takes much more than just loving someone: it takes constant work, dedication, compromise, and unconditional understanding from both partners. Any legitimate reasons for reconciling will be valid, logical and easily explained to yourself and your loved ones. Any time we react, instead of responding, we come from a place of emotion and not objectivity.
When you’re truly honest with yourself and, “I don’t know,” isn’t an acceptable answer, you will get to the heart of the matter.
Our grandparents lived in a time when people stayed together and worked through their problems. This course is for you if you legitimately miss and appreciate your ex, feel like you’ve got a real connection, and feel like the reasons you broke up are things you can resolve, accept, or move past. If you feel that Michael’s guide will be helpful to you, click here to check it out further. If you want to get back with your ex, you are obviously looking forward to a long and delicate process. Before you do anything you need to make sure that you are in the right state of mind to sit down and talk with your ex.
Once you can release your own unresolved feelings regarding your ex and your past relationship, you will be able to have a productive and positive meeting with them. Put yourself in your ex’s shoes, and find a location that is comfortable and as neutral as possible.
The last thing you want is to get to this meeting and not know what you want to say or how to begin. Having notes may even impress your ex because you obviously put a lot of thought into what you want to tell them. Try to find a balance between addressing important issues in your relationship and overwhelming your ex.
Addressing some of the key issues of why you broke up and what you feel can be done to avoid the same things happening again is a good start.
Probably the most important part is making sure you both get your side of the story out in the open.
It isn’t always easy to get back with your ex, but by being honest and taking the first step you make it much more likely that it will happen. For special circumstances with the breakup and for the best advice on getting your ex back, we highly recommend The Breakup Eraser, written by the Breakup Guru.
Well, I already explained that it keeps the website up to date but as time moves on and I formulate more and more game plans for women and I see more situations I become better and better at helping people get their exes back. If you take my knowledge today and compare it to the knowledge I had when I first started this little website it’s like night and day. Anyways, you are probably getting tired of me talking so lets dive right in to the new way of looking at the no contact rule. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most important strategies that you can employ to get your ex boyfriend back.
When you look at the big picture of the overall strategy of getting a boyfriend back you can generally divide the strategy into three separate parts.
This is usually the time where you are desperate to get your ex boyfriend back and you make every mistake in the book.
It is also during this time that most women stumble upon Ex Boyfriend Recovery and actually learn about the no contact rule. This is the period of time when you are actually implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend.
If the no contact rule is going to eat up half of your overall strategy to get your ex boyfriend back then it’s kind of a big deal and you should fully grasp it.
When someone says the words “No Contact” what is the first thing that pops into your head? Basically the no contact rule is a period of time where you aren’t going to have any meetings, relationships or communications with a certain someone.
I want to make this as clear as possible because I get so many women who make this mistake. The no contact rule isn’t meant to be forever or until your ex boyfriend comes crawling back.
However, in order for me to properly explain this effect we are going to have to do a little role playing. Well, lets pretend that you are implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and things are going well. Before I dive in to this I think it’s my duty to explain what the no contact rule working actually looks like.
Of course, since you are in the no contact rule you cannot break your silence so you do the smart thing and continue ignoring him.
I think it’s safe to say that the no contact rule is having the effect on him that you were hoping.
In order to understand what is going on inside the mind of a man during a successful no contact rule you need to understand a bit about the way humans are. One child is playing with a toy in a sandbox while the other child is playing with a toy as well. Well, the one child that is getting ignored probably is going to go crazy trying to get acknowledged. Basically the baby went berserk trying to get the mothers attention when the mother went still.
In a weird way I think this is happening inside men when they are ignored via the no contact rule.
Women are always commenting that they don’t know why their ex boyfriend is reacting so crazily during the no contact rule. But did you notice what happened with the baby when the mother went from being “still” to being loving again? So, for those women who are worried that the no contact rule may be too harsh on their exes and that their exes will hold a grudge for the rest of their life I have two things to tell you. From what I have seen from women who use the no contact rule it is rare for a man to hold a grudge. Now, another thing you may be wondering is why some men react sweetly during the no contact rule and some men react in a negative way. Notice how when the mother first starts ignoring her baby the baby doesn’t cry or throw a tantrum. The same can be said about men who are nice during NC and mean who are a tad mean during it. Some men determine that the best way to stop from being ignored by you is to be nice to you.
Experts seem to be completely split when it comes to how long the no contact rule should be for. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but the truth is that your ex boyfriend is unique.
Before I used to be under the impression that the 30 day no contact rule was the way to go.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that if your no contact rule is longer than 66 days then you run the risk of having an ex boyfriend be over you and if he completely is over you by that point then it makes getting him back that much harder. You will notice that the three time frames that we are focused in on here are all below 60 days.
We don’t want to run the risk of having your ex boyfriend get out of the habit of thinking about you. But that still doesn’t help us determine which of the three rules is best for you, does it? However, lets say that you have a really good chance to get your ex back and you know in your heart that your situation is conducive to success.
Well, if that’s the case then I would say you can get away with the 21 day no contact rule.


For those of you women who are just trying to cut down on the time it takes to get an ex boyfriend back this isn’t going to help your chances.
Remember, the only ones who should be allowed to use this no contact rule are the women with really good chances of getting an ex boyfriend back. Well, lets just say that they are either going to be in the 21 day rule or the 45 day rule below. So, that’s why I cut cheating down to the 30 day rule since it has more success there. Basically, the more time that goes by without you re-exhibiting the behavior the better because he will stop looking at you as a GNAT and you will have a better chance of getting him back.
Now that you have a pretty good idea of what the no contact rule is lets talk about some of the wrinkles about it that none of the experts really touch on out there.
Now, I want to preface this section by saying that I am not going to go as in-depth here as you like.
Because I have already written an uber in-depth article about how to handle just about every situation during the no contact rule.
Nevertheless, I am going to add some new situations that I have covered in that article here. For the record Jane is totally made up but her made up story based on real life is going to help me prove a point. One of the biggest reasons you do the no contact rule is so that you can get your ex boyfriend back so when that fantasy becomes a reality it’s ok to break no contact for that. Lets say that you are using a 30 day no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and around day 4 or 5 he messages you and asks if he can get his things back from your place.
The inevitability of a couple exchanging things when together is very high so it makes sense that if things were exchanged he would want them back. I mean, it’s amazing how these two little versions of you and your ex can bring about conversations after a breakup. The answer is yes but you are going to have to make some obvious adjustments for the kiddos. If your ex brings up the kids (or you are forced to bring them up) you can break the no contact rule for that. You are absolutely allowed to break NC and respond to it but you want to keep the interaction ONLY about the kids. I HAVE talked about it quite a bit but I haven’t ever really put the pieces together for you all in one place. On instinct most women guess that it’s to get their exes back and while the no contact rule can certainly be used for that there is another purpose of the no contact rule that hardly ever gets talked about. The truth is that when I first started this website I really only focused on helping women get back with their exes but as I gained more and more experience and credibility I learned something interesting. Yes, it is a strategy that is meant to get your ex back but think about the time frame of the no contact rule. In many cases you are going to be waiting a full month before you can actively have a talk with your ex boyfriend.
It means that you have a month of preparation to turn yourself into the best version of yourself and by doing that you will be actively working to get over the pain of the breakup. Winning a man back from a place of depression is a lot harder than trying to win him back from a place of happiness which is why I recommend self improvement during the no contact rule. The best way to get over the pain you are feeling is to focus on the things that you have control over. Right off the bat we know that we have 21 – 45 days before we have to talk to your ex so lets not just sit on our hands here during this time frame. We are going to go through the no contact rule from start to finish and show you what you are supposed to do every step of the way using a fake character that I am about to create. So, the first thing that Virginia is going to want to do is to determine which no contact rule time frame is best for her.
After much thought and deliberation Virginia has decided that she wants to embark on a 30 day no contact rule since she thinks that will give her ex enough time to miss her and give HER enough time to change her image completely. There are a lot of ways that Virgina can improve herself during the 30 day no contact period. What I am about to do now is something that I have never done here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery but I think it will be extremely helpful for you to see HOW the no contact rule will look from a birds eye view.
Like I said above, I am going to be answering those questions today but I am going to be doing so in a very unique way. I am going to be using a calendar to demonstrate what a perfect no contact rule looks like. To be honest I don’t think there is much more set up that I can use for this so I am just going to dive right in. Now, I do know that a lot of you are using phones to read this article so hopefully you can see the calendar above because it’s kind of important. You will notice that there are 30 days on this calendar and under each of the 30 days are little items ranging from workouts to learning a new language.
Oh, also take notice on how every single day during this 30 day no contact period is jam packed with stuff to do. Of course, then there is the fact that every action found on the calendar serves one purpose, to help you become the best version of yourself. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. All brand names and trademarks mentioned in this site are the property of their respective owners.
Making the move to get back together rightafter a break up is not advisable, especially since the breakup is still fresh on both your minds, and you may still have some issues that you both need to resolve before you can hope to get back together smoothly and successfully. One of the ways thatyou can actually repair problems in your relationship is by talking, which is one of the more important things that you need to focus on.
For example, attempting to make your ex partner jealous by starting a relationship with someoneelse is folly.
Provide her with sufficient space to weigh her options and allowher to make the decision to get back together without anyinterference from you. You wouldnt want to make up with her and then break up later when you realize that it wasnt really a great relationship anyway.
It’s a beautiful opportunity to find out if the troubles that once seemed insurmountable can be overcome, carefully and compassionately.
While others’ opinions shouldn’t be the deciding factor, we all have people we turn to for advice and wisdom.
Love can overcome the greatest of odds, yet it cannot change another person unless they want to begin the healing process on their own. Be mindful to avoid dealing with the same issues you faced before, probably sooner rather than later. People who are friends before and after a breakup have a much higher chance of making it work again. Calmly and as unemotionally as possible, think about the reasons the relationship ended and the reasons you would like it to work again. If you are still harboring anger over your breakup or you feel like you are going to cry just thinking about the other person, you are not ready for a heart-to-heart. In order to get back with your ex you must show them how mature and in control of yourself you are. The coffee-shop you went to together every Saturday or the park where you shared your first kiss are not good places.
Showing them that you are serious about your relationship will really help you get back with your ex. You don’t want them to feel like you are throwing too much at them at once, such as plans like moving back in together.
You should make it very clear that becoming a couple again is your intention and that you are willing to work to make that happen. You know, the kind of website that has really good content for a few years and then all of a sudden just falls off the map. I am talking about mistakes like becoming a GNAT, having him perceive you a desperate and coming off as super needy. Well, generally women who decide that they do want to get their ex boyfriends back AND use the no contact rule to do so will spend half of their strategy in the no contact rule and half of their strategy outside the no contact rule.
After much thought you determine that you want to do the 30 day rule so that means for the next thirty days you are going to be ignoring your ex in every shape or form possible. The two children have been best friends for a very long time and are talking to each other. It basically consists of having a mother sit in front of a baby and start blankly at the baby with a still face.
I know I have said this a lot throughout this site but I am going to say it again because it’s that important.
He is unlike anyone else walking this earth and that means that the no contact rule will have to be shaped to him. In my opinion, there are three optimum no contact times and which one you choose to use will depend entirely on your situation.
I used to think that situations where you cheated on an ex or did something horrible like that would be ideal for the 45 day rule but as I have seen more and more women embark on the rule in those instances I have found that more time tends to be more negative. This is the ring that your father gave you before he passed away so it holds a lot of sentimental value to you.


However, if you have just left some clothes or toiletries over at your exes you shouldn’t bother breaking the no contact rule to get them. In other words, I want you to embark on the no contact rule the same way most everyone else would. Sometimes the best way to get an ex back isn’t just to focus on getting him back but to focus your energies inward.
Look, I am not going to presume to know your entire situation with your ex like the back of my hand but I will tell you one thing. Lets do something that will actively increase your chances of winning him back AND help you get over that sinking feeling in your gut that you are feeling right now. The idea is to fill up your own personal calendar so much that you don’t even have time to text an ex. I broke up with him because it was very clear that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship. Focus on being emotionally stronger, so whatever you happens, you can accept easier if it doesn’t work out. At best you will only make them want to date someone else to retaliate against you which leads to an endless cycle of trying to hurt one another.
Keep in mind that you have already separated, which means rules that couples follow do not apply to you now. It’s a rough one, but these days we find ourselves growing, changing, and revisiting the idea of reconciliation. Listen to them and take their words into consideration, especially when we are emotionally vulnerable. When our hearts are involved, our humanity can leave us feeling desperate and that doesn’t serve anyone well. If you enjoy each other’s company, similar interests, and common goals, and you’re supportive of each other, there’s a greater chance of a successful reunion. It takes a strong family environment, whether or not you have a one- or two- parent household.
Both of you need to be comfortable with your surroundings and somewhere very private is a poor choice for this.
They will incite too many feelings, and your ex may accuse you of trying to leverage their emotions against them. Some people think it would be embarrassing to be referring to notes during a meeting like this, but it is more embarrassing a€“ not to mention disappointing a€“ to get nervous once you’re face-to-face with your ex and forget everything you carefully went over.
Don’t worry too much about anything else until this major first hurtle is gotten over. In other words, once that time frame is up your no contact rule ends immediately and you start to go on the offensive to get your boyfriend back.
All of a sudden one child gets upset with the other one and decides to ignore the other child. Assuming that it took him 66 days to get out of the habit of talking to you that would mean that a 90 day rule would far exceed that 66 day habit rule. So, when the no contact rule starts affecting her ex in a positive way so much so that he decides that he wants to ask her to be back together she completely ignores him. The last two years haven’t been the best due to me becoming depressed due to my birth control pill. I have been working on myself, posting on social media, and I’m three weeks into NC and my ex texted me last night apologizing for hurting me and how he handled things. He wasn’t upset at all when I told him I thought we should break up and I got pretty mad and left. He told me that while he wants to be friends eventually he needs a while before we talk again. It’s been said before: a relationship needs friendship – no matter how good the sex is or how much you love each other.
They may not have resolved their differences completely but they have come to an understanding, very maturely, where both parties can continue to pursue their dreams and still provide support in many ways to one another.
We also have different ideas of what is “right” for our families, even when parenting together. Your ex may feel like you are trying to instigate something more intimate with this meeting. The best part is that this is another chance for them as well, and when you behave in a mature fashion they will see it this way. Taking time to examine the root cause of the original breakup will give perspective and ideas for future resolution.
I lost myself in the relationship and stopped putting time and energy into the activities I enjoy. I lost my sex drive, became very distant and cold, negative, slept all the time, didn’t want to get out of bed, and had no energy or motivation.
I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend and he told me that if he went his entire life only dating me he would regret it.
I deleted his contact from my phone so its not as easy to text him (I have his number memorized but it makes it less convenient to reach out). Perhaps the decision was rash; perhaps it was one of the hardest choices you’ve ever faced. Simply being there for one another can be enough, enjoying a deeply healthy connection in many ways.
When we start building a life together, parting is never easy and reconciling seems realistic. Later, we experience moments of common clarity and work together to increase our families’ happiness. I told him that I completely understand why he left and apologized for hurting him as well. But just after two days of our relationship, he stepped back and called off our engagement and the upcoming wedding.
Someone very wise once told me that we should never get married because of children, money or sex. I ended up reaching out to him on day 11 of NC (I know that’s bad) but we actually had a decent conversation.
He has communicated numerous times to me what he was unhappy with but I just couldn’t understand since I was in that state of mind. He seemed invested in the conversation and when I told him I had go he actually continued the conversation for a little longer. Later when I made him understand that these things are ok and we should think over again, he had come down to meet me. He said things like he thought he’d met the right person, but at the wrong time and he could still see us eventually being together.
I have realized that I need to work on myself in order to have a successful relationship, so I have made the necessary changes. I also wanted to break up, but he made the words official so in a sense he broke up with me.
Now, I know breaking NC is a really bad thing to do and I’m wondering what I can do to fix the fact that I broke NC. It has been a month since we split and I already feel better and getting back to the old me, although I still have a long way to go.
I will admit that I have tried to talk to him after he ended it and noticed that he was ignoring me (which is understandable). Seeing all these, my parents asked me to forget him and I am under pressure to get married asap. I tried begging, doing everythng to get him back, but he simply plays around asking me to do what I feel is right.
When I text him on watsapp, he sees the msg but replies it at his own ease and never replies concretely. I did find out he went to a local bar with another girl (that he was interested in back in high school) a week after he ended our relationship. He seemed really sad and was mostly just making up an excuse to check in to make sure I was okay. Part of me thinks he did it to avoid his feelings over the breakup but the other part of me thinks that he’s genuinely interested in her considering he was back in high school.
Yesterday when I saw him I walked half a block chatting with him because we were heading in the same direction to class. Then the third time I was coming out of the gym and he was going in and neither of us really looked all that happy to see each other. Also, my boyfriend is a pretty impatient person and he was a real player when we first met. I am worried that in the next month he will revert back to his old ways and start sleeping with a bunch of different girls and dating other girls and will get over me.



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