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admin | Want My Ex Back | 15.09.2013
Assuming there were no serious issues in your relationship, one of the first things you can do is to find out whether or not your husband really has fallen out of love with you.
Once you’ve found a way to free up some time for yourself, ask your husband to do the same. So, yes, in answer to your question: can I get my husband to love me again, the answer is yes.
July 6, 2013 Sheila Today’s question is one I often hear different variations of–how do I get my husband to forgive me? I must admit that the first time he found out, he tried to forgive, but I did It again and this time he has had it. I feel like I am getting depressed by the unhappy environment because we barely talk only when necessary. Last year my husband was traveling a lot for business and we were having some various marriage problems at the same time. Both these questions have the same root: a wife has done something really horrible and broken her husband’s trust.
Saying “I’m sorry” is absolutely necessary when you’ve messed up and you need your husband’s forgiveness. What your spouse really wants to know is that you are committed to never having this happen again. In other words, putting yourself in a situation where you are accountable and transparent to him, and where he can see that you are serious, will often go much further than a simple apology.
Remember that not only have you sinned against your husband; you’ve also sinned against God. And as you’re doing that, you’ll be able to accept God’s forgiveness, which is very freeing. It’s tempting when he stops talking to you or when he reacts in anger to act similarly in return. You don’t have to announce that you’ve done these things–”did you like me getting coffee for you this morning?”. You may think that several months have gone by, and things are progressing, so he shouldn’t be angry anymore. Finally, when major trust has been broken it’s often a good idea to sit down with a third party and talk things through, especially if your husband has a lot of questions, and you providing answers doesn’t seem to be satisfying him. During the period of time when you’re trying to get your husband to forgive you, it’s tempting to get your emotional needs met from the kids. If your husband sees you accepting responsibility in front of the kids, and not trying to sugar coat things, that will also go further in showing him that you are serious about your apology, and help your husband to forgive you faster. And ladies, if any of you have ever walked through something similar, and had to get forgiveness from your husband, and you now find your marriage stronger, can you leave a comment? Join over 23,000 people who receive my monthly marriage newsletter--and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 36 Tips to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage. As the daughter of someone who cheated I agree wholeheartedly with Sheila’s advice on telling the children when they are old enough to know what that means. My husband now has no respect for me, calls me a w**’re, sl*t, constantly gives me the silent treatment and tells me how I have made no effort to rebuild trust although he has my passwords for my email and Facebook accounts and has an app installed on my phone where he can log in and see all of my texts and call logs. It has been a year now and I am at a loss for what else I can do as he says I don’t do enough.
I feel emotionally and verbally abused by him but he says I am the one who created this environment so I am the one who has hurt him. I understand and acknowledge that I betrayed his trust by not disclosing information that would have adversely affected his decision to marry me. However, I know some negative things about him and have been told about his patterns with his ex and other long term relationships wherein he was not very nice to them either, but he justifies and just keeps saying I’m the on that created this. I had used promises of a better future if he would surrender his freedom to everyone else, if he would cooperate with his fathers agenda, and now that will never be the outcome again because he took his rights back.

I have had minor contact with exes that I shouldn’t have my husband found out and now he says he is done with me. If your husband abused you and you want his love again, there are some very serious issues that you have going on that need to be addressed. You may be surprised to find that he actually does still love you but that those feelings have just gotten pushed aside for one reason or another. The little looks, the small caresses tend to go by the wayside when life gets too overwhelming.
My excessive spending and taking loans (which have now amounted to [a significant debt]) without consulting my husband has created a big rift between us that seems unrepairable due to the fact he doesn’t think I will changed. I no it is going to take time to pay all this debt off but I don’t want to loose my family (we have a 3yr old girl) and my husband because of my selfish actions.
In the case of an affair, can you suggest moving or switching jobs if it will take you away from the guy? Can you download a spending app on your cell phone that you can share with him to show him where the money is going? Children pick up on things anyway, and when they know there is tension in the house, but they don’t know why, they tend to assume that they are the cause of it. But so many marriages have found themselves even stronger several years down the road because they have worked through these issues, and they’ve learned better communication techniques and put in place more boundaries. My sister and I had the unfortunate experience of hearing it from a still very angry and bitter woman whose husband cheated on her with my mom. I never intended to hurt him or our marriage by not disclosing these details, I only wanted to move on from my past mistakes and bury them.
I have gone to counseling for my own issues of abandonment as a child, and a marriage counselor for 2 years. He warns us not to interfere with him again, then takes action usually with someone laying bleeding and broken. I told his father this weekend he was not to as me ever again to chose sides against my husband . It’s easier to overcome if the relationship has just gotten stale than if there has been infidelity or some other really serious issue. Find a good therapist, one that you like and trust, and spend as much time as you need to to figure out why you think so little of yourself that you would want to return to an abusive man and an abusive relationship. I broke it off after a few weeks, but my husband knows, and he’s having a hard time forgiving me. Can you ask your husband if he will share email accounts or Facebook accounts with you so that he never has to worry about what you’re doing? Can you consult a debt specialist about the best way to pay off the debt, and then make a plan and share it with your husband, with specific goals that you can show him that you have met? But you can feel restored by God, and He can help you move forward with that new humility and that new gentleness that comes from recognizing that you are fallible.
Once you are conversing again, and you’re able to be in the same room again, start doing things as friends that don’t require a screen.
You seem to want to punish me indefinitely!” That may be natural, but he does need time to get his questions out. And if you have any other thoughts on how to encourage your husband to forgive you, please leave them in the comments, too! We had known there had been huge problems in our home growing up and a lot of neglect and abuse resulted from it.
I was and still am ashamed and remorseful for the affair that happened three years ago and still to this day ask God for forgiveness. Its become so bad my husband has now destroyed family traditions that have been going on for 33 years because he is now insisting on his inclusion, Two years ago he told everyone after discovering an affair with my old boy friend that where I am invited so is he, My husband had not had a holiday or vacation for the 31 years I had been with him at that time. The latest was three weeks ago when his father thought he was going to teach his son a lesson in good manners with a baseball bat, there was a lesson taught.

Can you figure out how you can take on the responsibility to pay off the debt, and not leave it all to him? And it’s very hard to stand in that limbo time, when your husband is trying to work through his feelings. I don’t mean be luvey-duvey; sending him love notes in his lunch is not appropriate, as much as you may want to do this. I’d advise answering them as honestly and succinctly (you don’t need to go into a lot of detail) as you can. We received the emotional scars without knowing why and then found out from the one person who could paint the situation in the very worst way. His father was left in a hotel hallway with the ball bat still in his hand with a broken neck, 33 years of vacation traditions trashed. I feel so stupid and mad at myself and ashamed for what I did, but no amount of apologizing seems to do any good. You’ve already worked through yours; you’re sorry, and you want things back to normal again.
Find some people who can help support you and who you can talk to while your husband is working through his issues. Once you have talked about his issues, you can say, “I don’t ever want to be tempted in this way again. She was hoping to devastate my parents by telling us, however, it crippled me and my sister as well.
When we got married I had been divorced for a year and a half, he had been divorced almost four years.
Weddings, family parties, outings, birthday parties, doctors appts, school activities, after school activities, church- always just me and the kids and I was starting to get so bitter because my husband was never around. But you can get up early and make his coffee before he leaves for work, without demanding a thank you. Can we talk about how to build our relationship so that neither of us ever strays?” Then you can mention some of your issues–video games, for instance.
The pain fades, even the scar fades, every once in a while you look down and see the scar again.
Most marriages have problems, but your husband chose to cheat instead of staying, digging in and resolving your problems.** Your husband, like many people, chose to avoid dealing with the problems.
Just find things that you can do together that are low stress that aren’t necessarily romantic. Instead, he tried to put out a small fire in the stove with a stick of dynamite.When he started cheating, he entered into a fantasy world in which everything it heavenly. Crying, grieving and remorse were so heavy for 5 months (he didnt leave, says he is staying for the kids).
He will not sleep next to me still but now we are starting to talk again like friends and everyday I pray and make it a priorty to be so gracous for him and my children and that he has not left or filed for divorce. I realize now that communication is so vital in a marriage as well as the way you communicate.
Skip the BeggingNo matter what you’ve said up until now, contact him and tell him that you feel that your separation was the right thing to do. At 7 months I still sleep alone and get sad and lonely but I am perservering to hopefully gain forgiveness as well as a reconciliation. It is a rough journey but to me is worth all the effort and I am changing for the better also. Skip the Promises Calling him, texting him and trying to convince him that you’ll change is a huge mistake.

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