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admin | Getting An Ex Back | 12.01.2016
We then close our eyes, cross our fingers and jump all the way to Lima, Ohio, where Sue Sylvester is judging the Christmas Tree Decorations contest and is impressed by the Glee Club’s hard work stealing hamsters and incorporating pine cones into found art. Eventually the ladies discard their robes in favor of a USA Gymnastics-flavored spandex glitterbomb situation that really screams VIRGIN MARY. THEN, who should appear before their twinkling eyes than an underwear model in a Santa outfit, his cloak suggestively opened to reveal his manly chest muscles! Becky, however, is devastated to have lost the big contest despite the fact that her tree didn’t contain any trees.
Virgin Marley unsurprisingly secured the role of Virgin Mary, not to be confused with a Virgin Bloody Mary, which is just expensive tomato juice in a glass with a stalk of celery. We then tie up our Air Jordans, toss on a vintage pair of oversized basketball shorts and dribble all the way back to New York, New York, where the three little bears are preparing for a visit from Sexy Santa. Throughout the song, the audience is privy to Sexy Santa’s appraising glances at various household items throughout the musical number, which means we just have to wait and find out when, exactly, he plans to rob these little munchkins of all their kitschy Pier 1 paraphernalia and festive candles.


We then grease up the floors, put on our favorite pair of kneesocks, and slide all the way back to Lima, Ohio, where Tina’s having sexual fantasies about her new hand-blown glass angel dildo. Becky intercepts their walk-and-talk with Christmas presents for Sam and Tina — two tiny vials containing her baby teeth, to remind them of the innocent Baby Jesus. We then extract one of our many JetBlue vouchers from underneath our craft supplies bin, catch the next flight back to Newark, and drive in a rented mini-van that smells like dead cats all the way back to New York, New York, where Rachel and Santana are sloppy drunk but for some reason not making out. Instead of immediately fleeing the scene like normal humans, Santana and Rachel stick around for some drunky banter! Virgin Marley says she tried to give Fake Quinn her part but Fake Quinn rejected her. Luckily, Unique has a plan. Fake Quinn arrives in the music room for a run-through and is befuddled by the fact that Virgin Marley isn’t dressed up like the Virgin Mary.
I’m a Christian, and I know what it means to have the Virgin Mary spirit in your heart.


Sexy Santa somehow made it all the way to Bushwick in subzero temperatures without a shirt, so he’s probably some kind of cyborg. We’re gonna scare the racist white Christian cheerleader into taking her rightful spot as the Virgin Mary by presenting the image of Virgin Mary as a young black teen Mom.
Then Sexy Santa shows off his mediocre bag of tricks which just-so-happens to include a helium tank!



A perfect gift for a girlfriend for christmas
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