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There were some not very helpful comments left on that post, and I thought it was an important enough subject to revisit and post some of my thoughts!
And that verse was directed at an older, married couple, too, where likely gravity had taken its toll! I believe that part of loving your man and helping your man is being as attractive as you can be. But even if you’re not a size 2 (and very, very few of us are), you can still be attractive! Now, if I were 250 pounds and this were a serious heath issue, then I’d feel differently.
So if you’re really hurting because your husband wants you to lose weight, think about it logically like this. Your metabolism slows, and while you could eat a ton at 20 and stay 120 pounds, now you eat less and you’re 145.
Maturity means recognizing this and delighting in having a spouse to grow older with, not in expecting that person to stay 20. Yes, the body is important, and yes, we need to do what we can to keep ourselves attractive to our husbands. You can make a commitment to get healthy and to keep yourself attractive, but that’s only half the story. My 31 Days to Great Sex book can help you work through this, because it shows us how sex can unite us spiritually and not just physically. Join over 23,000 people who receive my monthly marriage newsletter--and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 36 Tips to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage.
So often, I just look at her and think: How did I get so lucky, not only is she smart, but she’s gorgeous! Let’s be careful not to confuse the normal aging process we all go through with the attractiveness (or lack therof) being discussed in this thread. The Cheating Spouse - A leading private investigator tells how to know if you have a cheating spouse, and what to do about it. Martin Investigative Services has handled more than 33,000 cases of infidelity and marital surveillance, the majority of these clients are women who believe their partner is being unfaithful.
You spend a lot of your life thinking about, fretting over and just plain craving a solid relationship. If the two of you click, the relationship builds and secrets are shared and affection grows. When you try to talk to your significant other about your feelings and fears, does he dismiss you and call you "crazy"? It's wrong when your husband or boyfriend refuses to give up dating despite your committed relationship.
He has an obvious problem if he consistently uses drugs or alcohol, gambles more than he can afford to lose or takes too many risks. You suspect your partner has very real psychological or psychiatric problems and represents a possible threat to himself, you or others.
Their relationship seemed stable, but Jennifer has noticed changes in Brad's behavior the past seven months. Occasionally there are reasons why you can't join him, but he should be making an attempt to involve you. He says he has to take a business trip, even though his company's travel budget has been slashed. He finds reasons not to participate in family events, needing to help a friend move or work out at the gym.
Delivering the bad news can be challenging, but it's important to do so in a way that is sensitive to what the person is going through. We also help that person with any professional help they may need, be it references to talented psychologists or the best divorce lawyers possible. You both use to have an open-door policy concerning shared finances, but now he insists on handling it all. There are expenditures and phone numbers that he doesn't want you to see, so he has credit card and phone bills sent to his work instead of home. He comes home from a long day of work appearing freshly showered, well-groomed and smelling better than when he left. A few years ago we performed a surveillance case for the wife of a legendary rock star, to determine if he was having an affair. This job didn't exactly go as planned, as the rock star had a unique way of minimizing his exposure.
Ticket stubs, hotel keys, greeting cards, lipstick holders, earrings and condom wrappers find their way into your home without explanation.
When we provide our clients with the court-admissable, tangible proof of an extramarital affair, it can make all the difference in divorce proceedings, leading to more favorable settlements.
Instead of taking the time to talk, he now walks out in mid-sentence and refuses to finish the conversation.
Two of your girlfriends saw your boyfriend with a woman at a bar, but when you questioned him about it, he said he was working late.
Does he get angry by your surprise visits to his office even though it's not inconvenient or inappropriate for you to be there? When a client hires us to perform a surveillance on their partner, they want to find out for sure - and have court admissable evidence of the affair. But if you see your relationship changing and many (or most) of these actions prove true, trust your intuition.
Martin Investigative Services has handled more than 33,000 cases of infidelity and marital surveillance, the majority of which are women who believe their partner is being unfaithful. We have followed both males and females who end up in a compromising position with someone of the same sex.


By the way: once the divorce was finalized, she sent her husband's boss a copy of the video. If one partner is unaware of the couple's finances, something like a divorce or delinquent child support payments may make it necessary to count up what's out there. Also be very careful of any investigator who offers to find stocks, bonds, mutual funds or certificates of deposit. Although you'll have a better chance of finding additional assets with a nationwide search, we advise clients to start with one region before incurring the cost of searching the entire country. Searching for hard assets, so-called because they can be seized (property, cars, boats), is part of most lawyers' and private investigators' daily routine, but you can do some of the legwork.
Unlike liquid assets, hard assets must be sold before you can obtain any funds that are rightfully yours.
Stealing hearts: Jeremy Meeks, 30, was arrested in a gang raid by Stockton, California police on Wednesday and his mug shot made hearts race when the department shared it on their Facebook pageBut Meeksa€™ spouse and the mother of his 3-year-old son is not amused by the collective swooning over her photogenic husband. The good-looking arrestee's younger brother, Bryan Varela, told the station over the phone that his sibling had learned from his past mistakes and he is now a changed man.
Alleged gangster: Meeks, from Stockton, California, is currently being held on $900,000 bail with a potentially lengthy prison sentence ahead of him if convicted.
A tattoo running along Meeks' right forearm shows the word 'Crips' - the name of a notorious U.S.
Gang life: He would not reveal the meaning of the tear drop under his eye, which is sometimes a sign of killing someone or about time spent in prison. Washington but gave up the 'gang life' more than seven years ago.'He gave his heart to God, that is why he changed,' she said. Arrests: Meeks, top left, was arrested with three others on gun charges in Stockton this week. Changed: Meeks insisted that he is a changed man and putting his criminal days behind him 'He didn't know any different. Let’s say your husband has gained a tremendous amount of weight and sex is now just plain uncomfortable (I like to be able to breathe, for instance). Be part of the solution–like cooking better meals, initiating walks after dinner, and finding active habits to enjoy. And right now I think speaking and writing and spending time with my kids takes precedence over trying to look like I did when I was 20. You get more hair growing on your upper lip and chin (where did THAT come from?!?!) Your veins start to stick out. And when we constantly feed our minds with what those bodies look like, through consuming media or even porn, then it’s hard for our spouses to measure up. It’s also about recognizing that godly intimacy is a meeting of bodies AND souls, not just bodies.
I do think our marriages are worth the effort to look good, and to stay within a reasonable weight (definitely NOT what you were at 20, mind you!). Regardless of the circumstances, whether you have children with this man, investments and what not, you need to save yourself.
I have always struggled with my weight, since I was a teenager, and I am finally starting to lose some of it, two kids later. From first sight, you're wondering how you want any encounter with the opposite sex to play out-whether you hope to see them again or pray they'll never be able to track down your phone number.
Maybe it's love or maybe it's passion, but after such intimacy, it's very difficult to break things off when the relationship takes a downturn.
More often, though, we move from stage to stage, engaging then disengaging, ever hopeful that we can make it work. If the person you care about the most doesn't believe in you, you'll have a hard time believing in yourself.
If he's unwilling to seek professional help and stay straight, your situation will not improve until you pack up and go. They take command of every aspect of you-from what you wear and eat to how you act in public and raise your children. Unfaithful partners may leave the house right after their shower, just to have breakfast with someone else. Business trips that use to be short now start on Friday and require an entire weekend because he says he likes get settled in his hotel room and use the alone-time to prepare for Monday's presentation.
He says he doesn't feel comfortable joining your family for a special dinner, but doesn't want you to stay home with him. He makes excessive ATM withdrawals, but he can't point to any large purchases to explain where the money went. Frequent movers use them but usually not someone who has lived in the same house for fifteen years.
Or he joins a gym, tells you he's going there every day but his appearance doesn't seem to change from month to month.
The investigator should be clear about (a) What the exact investigative service and plan is, (b) how long it is going to take, and (c) how much it is going to cost. If there ever was something close, it would be telling someone that their spouse, whom we have followed on surveillance, ended up in a local motel with another person.
Was it the daughter in 1986 who hired us on the recommendation of her mother who used our services in 1984? Jane had less than 100 pounds on her five-foot frame but was truly a heavyweight when it came to perseverance in catching her husband. But keep in mind that there's an investigator on every corner who says he or she can obtain bank, savings and checking account records.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of stocks traded every day in this country and, as a former federal agent, I know even the mighty IRS would admit it has a hard time monitoring many of these accounts. The value of conducting a liquid assets search is that once the money is found in an account, you can seize it if you have the proper paper work and a legal judgment in hand.


In the case of a divorce or other legal separation, often the partner has no idea where to even begin.
Martin is a former supervisory Federal agent, and the owner of Martin Investigative Services. Meek's public defender San Behar said he was shocked by the brouhaha surrounding his client.'It's better than the attention my clients usually get,' he told CBS 13.
Records from April this year also reveal that he was arrested for resisting a peace officer or EMT in San Joaquin County - throwing doubt on his claims that he is now staying out of trouble. Or perhaps you have gained 150 pounds and he does find it difficult to become aroused just seeing you now.
And when we put so much emphasis on needing the perfect body in order to make love we’ve lost the point.
If you set the tone with an answer like this with the reader questions, I think there definitely won’t be discord. His comment may seem innocent and simple at first, but it may and will leave tremendous amount of side effects on yourself. Women are the most frequent targets by far: Every nine seconds a woman in the United States is being physically hurt by her husband or boyfriend. In a time when AIDS is the world's fastest-spreading epidemic, infidelity can be life-threatening. Or maybe he use to go out with pals once a week and now he's stepping out three to four times a week, acting secretive and jumpy.
He starts an argument when you ask about his plans, thereby avoiding the question and making you think twice before you quiz him again. You might be surprised to learn that we catch ninety-eight percent of the people we follow. We have had hundreds of clients over the years receive bad news about their alleged soul mate. Be warned: A liquid assets search is an art form practiced by only a handful of investigators in the United States. The minimum information needed is the name, the last-known or current address, and the city, state and zip code.
Officer Joseph Silva, a spokesman for the Stockton Police Department, which sparked the mugshot craze Wednesday after sharing Meeks' booking photo on its Facebook page, was equally surprise by the worldwide attention.
Eating well does not take any more time than eating poorly, and so it’s a blessing we can give our family and our husbands.
If I were to exercise for an hour and a half a day, that time would have to come from somewhere.
Much depends on the weight you’re starting at, and how realistic that target weight is.
I think if I set the tone, the chance of the comments becoming too outrageous is a lot lower. You will not only emotionally hurt, but you will also lose all of your confidence which comes with other side effects of its own. But if he needs to constantly work them out with new-found friends instead of you, it may not be the right relationship for either of you. Or, regardless of "buy one, get one free" airline and hotel specials, he says, "we can't afford" to extend his business trip into a mini-vacation for both of you. He refuses to meet near his office for a late-night date, explaining that he can't be interrupted. There's a difference between one partner taking care of balancing the checkbook and someone suddenly being secretive about checking account balances. Or after he's made a call, you hit the redial button, but you don't know the person or company on the other end of line. After being in the business for 40 years, I know of only five other investigators who are competent enough to conduct a thorough bank, savings and checking account search. Choosing to walk places or choosing to take up biking as a family are all good things that can help us keep our weight manageable. If he has stepped so far over those boundaries that it has threatened your relationship, you can't stay with him.
Practical traded in the mini-van for a Dodge Viper and you're no longer invited to ride along.
Women who have hired our private investigation firm to complete surveillance are shocked to learn that their partner has a private, secret box. A credit profile search provides information on all the subject's accounts, account numbers, when they were opened, the maximum amount of credit allowable and the current balance. For me to get back to the weight I was when I was married would require a tremendous amount of effort. Should I stop writing my next book (or take about 3 times as long to write it?) Should I speak less?
If you are separated, this search may fall under the rules and regulations of The Fair Credit Reporting Act. That's right, our family man was soon recorded snuggling up and kissing his boss' daughter.
When they checked out, one of the investigators observed the husband throw away the hotel receipt. She placed a copy of our video and the receipt on top of his cereal bowl the following morning.



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