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admin | How To Get Even With Your Ex | 07.04.2015
The word communication is literally used everywhere nowadays and more often than not poor communication is usually the cause almost all grief.
Constructive communication involves having the patience to identify and express emotions genuinely without the display of negativity that comes with arguing and rejection. Ready for some action steps in order to strengthen up your sense of self (or to help your partner to do so)?
Whatever the circumstances, it’s only being able to phone a friend or chat with the girls over a glass of wine that stops you from going round the bend.
According to Andrew G Marshall, after almost 30 years working as a marital therapist, he has become convinced that, while men don’t have enough friends or emotional support, women can have far too many and too much. Dont compare your husband your wife or family with any family.creat ur home as your pocket be dont do more than ur income.
A new book charts the little-known history of plans to send former slaves back to Africa's west coast. Nearly everyone who supported colonization believed that Africa would embrace the return of African Americans. Many supporters of colonization were convinced that freed blacks would become a perpetual underclass in America and that whites and blacks could not live harmoniously as equals. Britain knew that if Americans sent tens or hundreds of thousands of African Americans to Africa's shores, American sponsors would need to find willing recipients and support the settlers to ensure their success.
In my new book, American Colony on the Rio Pongo: The War of 1812, the Slave Trade, and the Proposed Settlement of African Americans, 1810-1830, I chart how these three histories -- American, British and African -- came together to become an important but unknown part of the search for a homeland for African Americans on Africa's western coast. The good land of the Rio Pongo was sparsely populated, and coastal markets were well-connected with caravan routes.
The Rio Pongo was an important center of slave trading at the turn of the century, and illegal slave trading continued in parts of it.
In doubt also was whether African Americans could obtain full membership in secret societies that were foundational in the Pongo's culture. The plan to settle African Americans at the Rio Pongo was one of the more sophisticated developed by advocates of colonization. Even if both partners in the marriage have different opinions about something with the right communication between them they can simply and respectfully agree to disagree. Healthy communication and behavior on your part can be influential to your partner (and others around you).
If you love your husband — and if not, why are you spending hours talking about him to your girlfriends — do you love him enough to give without any expectation (in the short term) of getting anything back? Marshall is a marital therapist and author of I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You: Seven Steps To Saving Your Relationship (Bloomsbury). They also believed that slavery in America was wrong and outdated, and they wanted it ended.


For some, the solution to the "Negro problem" was to move all African Americans to another place -- any place would do -- where they could rule themselves. On Africa's west coast, Sierra Leone's governors were convinced that Americans were planning to surround and overwhelm the British colony by flooding the coast with American products and African-American settlers. While French armies were conquering Europe and Britain was fighting to contain the spread of anarchy and French-style republicanism, America had declared war on Britain in 1812. The British were already having enough trouble with 2,000 African-American settlers at Freetown in Sierra Leone.
The settlers would need a shoreline with wharfs and jetties ready and able to receive them.
There was already a community of Americans and Britons dating to the mid-18th century, and nearly all had partnered with African women and produced large families of mixed-race children.
There were wharfs and jetties capable of supplying settlers from the Atlantic and exporting whatever they might produce from their own labor.
Most of the river's mixed-race families had abandoned slave trading and had adjusted their commerce to trade in coffee and peanuts, but even that was problematic. Could they compete in an economy that was governed by the Euro-African descendants of slave traders? Conditions on the ground, however, were symbolic of problems that Americans would face in Liberia in the 1820s and would lead them to separate themselves from the people among whom they had settled. What this means to you is in order to be different in your marriage so you can get the results you want is you have to change your environment you’ve got to shift your mindset. To explore this further experts say that 90% of communication is non-verbal to which a smaller portion of that goes to your voice intonations and pace but the major portion of it goes to your beliefs and what goes on in your mind. By sharing your feelings and concerns in a calm and honest way your partner will recognize the emotional asset that the marriage truly is to you.
First, acknowledge any behaviour that you regret; next, identify how this might have made him feel, and then apologise.
Some believed that its end would come quickly, while others expected owners to free their slaves gradually. Others dreamed of black republics spreading American-style republicanism and civilization, commerce and Christianity on the African continent. When Americans began to speak openly of schemes to establish colonies for African Americans in Africa, the British were at first amused and then horrified. And they knew that American sponsors of colonization had no viable exit strategy for how to terminate support for their colonies once they launched them. The list of requirements was long: land capable of absorbing massive numbers, African rulers willing to receive and protect them, farm land for them to use, an indigenous population that could tolerate their presence and odd customs and accept them despite their former slave status in America, a willingness to permit them to rule themselves and a commerce that allowed them to participate. English was the dominant language of commerce and the language used by the existing mixed-race community.


And planners had received a letter of invitation from headmen on the river to consider the Pongo as a possible migration site. These were issues that eventually led planners to reject the Pongo as a possible site for settlement.
Those problems remained essentially unchanged for the next century and were a vital part of the African-American experience on Africa's western shores. As you choose to engage and implement these steps you will gain greater ability to save your marriage because both you and your partner will begin to experience your marriage as a place of safety relief and need fulfillment. Please don’t explain why you acted as you did — that’s for another day — because it can sound like an excuse and lessen the power of your apology. Some considered their efforts to be compensation for the damage America had inflicted upon the continent. If settlers found themselves in trouble, it would be Britain's navy and military power that would need to come to their rescue, if a rescue were even possible. Plantation operators owned or controlled the labor of thousands of workers whose lives closely resembled what arriving African Americans would have left behind in America.
Let look at an example of how the non-verbal aspect of communication can influence a situation with the same words being said.
And others dreamed of economic rewards that would surely come to sponsors, just in case African-American colonies became successful. That decision was made, however, only after an inspection tour of the Rio Pongo was conducted and after a lengthy report describing the river's disadvantages had been written. There was also the question of whether freed African Americans could or would ever be accepted as equals in a society that forever labeled people with slave backgrounds as descendants of slaves. In the first example a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers with the pure intention that he loved this woman so much he thought what better way to express this love than with flowers? Journal: If you struggle with being congruent (and if you or your spouse has a weak sense of self you do) journaling will be a crucial step in helping you to become more congruent within best get your ex back books yourself at least. With no other expectations conditions requirements other than just loving and the husband hands over this bunch and says: Just because I love you. Further you most likely have difficulty even identifying your feelings (apart from anger or one of its derivatives). On the other hand a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers but he has a different intention even though it is true that he loves her but he also wants to get something for himself and wants to soften her up and expects something in return for these flowers and as he hands over the flowers he says: Just because I love you.



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