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admin | How To Get A Ex Boyfriend Back | 07.09.2015
Well, I already explained that it keeps the website up to date but as time moves on and I formulate more and more game plans for women and I see more situations I become better and better at helping people get their exes back. If you take my knowledge today and compare it to the knowledge I had when I first started this little website it’s like night and day.
Anyways, you are probably getting tired of me talking so lets dive right in to the new way of looking at the no contact rule.
The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most important strategies that you can employ to get your ex boyfriend back.
When you look at the big picture of the overall strategy of getting a boyfriend back you can generally divide the strategy into three separate parts. This is usually the time where you are desperate to get your ex boyfriend back and you make every mistake in the book. It is also during this time that most women stumble upon Ex Boyfriend Recovery and actually learn about the no contact rule. This is the period of time when you are actually implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. If the no contact rule is going to eat up half of your overall strategy to get your ex boyfriend back then it’s kind of a big deal and you should fully grasp it.
When someone says the words “No Contact” what is the first thing that pops into your head?
Basically the no contact rule is a period of time where you aren’t going to have any meetings, relationships or communications with a certain someone. I want to make this as clear as possible because I get so many women who make this mistake. The no contact rule isn’t meant to be forever or until your ex boyfriend comes crawling back.
However, in order for me to properly explain this effect we are going to have to do a little role playing.
Well, lets pretend that you are implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and things are going well. Before I dive in to this I think it’s my duty to explain what the no contact rule working actually looks like. Of course, since you are in the no contact rule you cannot break your silence so you do the smart thing and continue ignoring him. I think it’s safe to say that the no contact rule is having the effect on him that you were hoping. In order to understand what is going on inside the mind of a man during a successful no contact rule you need to understand a bit about the way humans are. One child is playing with a toy in a sandbox while the other child is playing with a toy as well.
Well, the one child that is getting ignored probably is going to go crazy trying to get acknowledged.
Basically the baby went berserk trying to get the mothers attention when the mother went still. In a weird way I think this is happening inside men when they are ignored via the no contact rule. Women are always commenting that they don’t know why their ex boyfriend is reacting so crazily during the no contact rule.
But did you notice what happened with the baby when the mother went from being “still” to being loving again? So, for those women who are worried that the no contact rule may be too harsh on their exes and that their exes will hold a grudge for the rest of their life I have two things to tell you. From what I have seen from women who use the no contact rule it is rare for a man to hold a grudge. Now, another thing you may be wondering is why some men react sweetly during the no contact rule and some men react in a negative way. Notice how when the mother first starts ignoring her baby the baby doesn’t cry or throw a tantrum. The same can be said about men who are nice during NC and mean who are a tad mean during it.
Some men determine that the best way to stop from being ignored by you is to be nice to you. Experts seem to be completely split when it comes to how long the no contact rule should be for. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but the truth is that your ex boyfriend is unique. Before I used to be under the impression that the 30 day no contact rule was the way to go. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that if your no contact rule is longer than 66 days then you run the risk of having an ex boyfriend be over you and if he completely is over you by that point then it makes getting him back that much harder.
You will notice that the three time frames that we are focused in on here are all below 60 days. We don’t want to run the risk of having your ex boyfriend get out of the habit of thinking about you. But that still doesn’t help us determine which of the three rules is best for you, does it?
However, lets say that you have a really good chance to get your ex back and you know in your heart that your situation is conducive to success. Well, if that’s the case then I would say you can get away with the 21 day no contact rule. For those of you women who are just trying to cut down on the time it takes to get an ex boyfriend back this isn’t going to help your chances. Remember, the only ones who should be allowed to use this no contact rule are the women with really good chances of getting an ex boyfriend back. Well, lets just say that they are either going to be in the 21 day rule or the 45 day rule below.
So, that’s why I cut cheating down to the 30 day rule since it has more success there. Basically, the more time that goes by without you re-exhibiting the behavior the better because he will stop looking at you as a GNAT and you will have a better chance of getting him back. Now that you have a pretty good idea of what the no contact rule is lets talk about some of the wrinkles about it that none of the experts really touch on out there. Now, I want to preface this section by saying that I am not going to go as in-depth here as you like. Because I have already written an uber in-depth article about how to handle just about every situation during the no contact rule. Nevertheless, I am going to add some new situations that I have covered in that article here. For the record Jane is totally made up but her made up story based on real life is going to help me prove a point.
One of the biggest reasons you do the no contact rule is so that you can get your ex boyfriend back so when that fantasy becomes a reality it’s ok to break no contact for that.
Lets say that you are using a 30 day no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and around day 4 or 5 he messages you and asks if he can get his things back from your place. The inevitability of a couple exchanging things when together is very high so it makes sense that if things were exchanged he would want them back. I mean, it’s amazing how these two little versions of you and your ex can bring about conversations after a breakup.
The answer is yes but you are going to have to make some obvious adjustments for the kiddos. If your ex brings up the kids (or you are forced to bring them up) you can break the no contact rule for that. You are absolutely allowed to break NC and respond to it but you want to keep the interaction ONLY about the kids.
I HAVE talked about it quite a bit but I haven’t ever really put the pieces together for you all in one place. On instinct most women guess that it’s to get their exes back and while the no contact rule can certainly be used for that there is another purpose of the no contact rule that hardly ever gets talked about. The truth is that when I first started this website I really only focused on helping women get back with their exes but as I gained more and more experience and credibility I learned something interesting. Yes, it is a strategy that is meant to get your ex back but think about the time frame of the no contact rule.
In many cases you are going to be waiting a full month before you can actively have a talk with your ex boyfriend. It means that you have a month of preparation to turn yourself into the best version of yourself and by doing that you will be actively working to get over the pain of the breakup. Winning a man back from a place of depression is a lot harder than trying to win him back from a place of happiness which is why I recommend self improvement during the no contact rule. The best way to get over the pain you are feeling is to focus on the things that you have control over. Right off the bat we know that we have 21 – 45 days before we have to talk to your ex so lets not just sit on our hands here during this time frame. We are going to go through the no contact rule from start to finish and show you what you are supposed to do every step of the way using a fake character that I am about to create.
So, the first thing that Virginia is going to want to do is to determine which no contact rule time frame is best for her. After much thought and deliberation Virginia has decided that she wants to embark on a 30 day no contact rule since she thinks that will give her ex enough time to miss her and give HER enough time to change her image completely. There are a lot of ways that Virgina can improve herself during the 30 day no contact period.
What I am about to do now is something that I have never done here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery but I think it will be extremely helpful for you to see HOW the no contact rule will look from a birds eye view. Like I said above, I am going to be answering those questions today but I am going to be doing so in a very unique way.
I am going to be using a calendar to demonstrate what a perfect no contact rule looks like. To be honest I don’t think there is much more set up that I can use for this so I am just going to dive right in. Now, I do know that a lot of you are using phones to read this article so hopefully you can see the calendar above because it’s kind of important.
You will notice that there are 30 days on this calendar and under each of the 30 days are little items ranging from workouts to learning a new language.
Oh, also take notice on how every single day during this 30 day no contact period is jam packed with stuff to do. Of course, then there is the fact that every action found on the calendar serves one purpose, to help you become the best version of yourself.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
However, if I have learned anything from my tenure here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery it is that what people say and what people do can sometimes be completely different things.
Through this page I am going to show you exactly what you need to do in order to leave your ex with feelings of regret.
I know that what everyone on this site really wants is a step by step plan tailor made to help them get their ex boyfriends back. One of the biggest concerns from visitors to Ex Boyfriend Recovery has to be if their ex boyfriend would even consider a reconciliation. Of course, what you say in public, or on the internet and what you know to be true can be completely different.
So, when I started reading all of these forum comments of guys saying that they didn’t ever regret letting their exes go I got curious to see just how many of them were searching the internet for advice on how to get their girlfriends back. In the example I gave a few sections above I literally proved that there are actually more men regretting letting go of their exes than women.
It all seemed so fun in your head yet after your breakup things aren’t going exactly how you thought they would go. The Quick Way- Essentially regret will kick in 1-4 weeks after the breakup of a relationship.
Well, when you date someone for close to a year you get used to talking with them every single day. I want you to imagine that in every relationship you get into with a man you are going to be given a number between 1 and 10.
The only problem with that is the fact that sometimes men don’t realize how good they had it with you. Now, I want you to imagine that he dated another girl and she doesn’t compare to the standard you set. Right now the goal you are shooting for is to become someone that your ex would regret letting go. It shouldn’t come as a shock that men are attracted to beautiful and intelligent women. If I were to take these two women and line them up against a wall and ask random men to meet each one of them separately something tells me that most of the men would choose the intelligent woman over the non intelligent woman for a long term relationship.
Throughout my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO you constantly hear me talking about the Ungettable Girl.
Because if a girl is like this then that means she isn’t going to be overly available to a man. So, the first big thing I think you need to realize is to STOP making everything in your life about your ex boyfriend. Every woman who I have advised to master the art of moving on to create an opportunity to get their ex back has been given an opportunity to get him back. Now that you have the basic principles down one pressing question remains, when do you put all this moving on to get an opportunity into effect? If you have never heard of the no contact rule then I am just going to let you know that it is an ESSENTIAL part of making an ex regret leaving.
The no contact rule is a widely accepted philosophy that after a breakup you should enter into a period of no contact with your ex. However, if you have some weird circumstance where it’s not possible for you to complete the 30 day period then just run it by me in the comments section of this page and I will get back to you within a day and give you some help on what to do. I can tell you that as smart and clever as I am when it comes to dealing with people it drives me up the wall when I know for a fact that someone is ignoring me. When I started this section I talked about how the no contact rule can work on two fronts to incite regret. Getting an ex boyfriend back is hard work and most of the women who fail on here fail because they are lazy. Look, you can’t expect to just do the no contact rule and wake up one day to have him at your doorstep. In other words, you need to use that time of solitude to become someone that he will regret. Remember, life starts at the end of your comfort zone so it is time to step outside the comfort zone and make yourself into the best version of you that has ever existed. So far, this whole guide has been about one thing, making an ex boyfriend regret his decision to leave your relationship. Many of you probably think I am going to give this huge monologue on power and how you must always have the upper hand but I promise that this isn’t a mistake because of not having the power. Now, I know the two of you are broken up right now but if you think back to your relationship were you constantly talking his ear off? Now, lets fast forward to the present where you are bombarding him with text messages and calls. With every text or call bombardment by you, you are further cementing his position that he is glad that the two of you don’t date anymore. However, every time you break no contact to selfishly feel better just to talk to him you could be damaging your chances at making him truly regret letting you go. While it has opened up my life in many different ways it has also forced me to dissect every little thing that happens in my personal life. But for me it is literally like torture because I know whats happening while its happening and I can’t do anything about it. Because you waited so long to respond I was constantly checking my phone for your response.
Can you imagine what would happen if you got a guy used to a certain schedule when it comes to texting you and all of a sudden you interrupted that schedule? The second a guy feels that he has something to lose (which would be you in this case) is the second he realizes just how much he cares for that something or someone ;). I guess the ultimate trend is that you have to have moments where you are very available to a guy and then suddenly become unavailable and then swing back to available and then back to unavailable and so on and so forth. I guess the question on the table right now is how do you implement this trend to re-attract your ex boyfriend? I would like you to take a moment and revisit the section I wrote about on the no contact rule and how it can help you.
You want this to happen because if he gets antsy about you contacting him it means he wants it to happen deep down. Remember, the point of this is to spread your interactions out so you leave him wanting more.
One of the biggest mistakes I see women make after the no contact rule is going from zero to sixty way too fast. Yes, the ultimate goal we are trying to achieve here is to put you in a position where you and your ex can chat all day long without a hiccup.
So, the smartest way is to slowly work your way to a point where you can talk for a long period of time throughout the day. I am a guy so I can tell you that most men daydream and usually when we really daydream about a girl we like it can be a powerful way of igniting our true feelings for that girl. One of the most powerful ways you can re-ignite your exes feelings for you is through the power of daydreams.
In other words, you are going to cast your daydream bait out there and hope he bites the line and starts daydreaming about a future with you and him in it. The daydream that someone would want their ex boyfriend to daydream about if they were to use this particular text should be a romantic getaway in Hawaii. If you don’t leave your ex boyfriend wanting more during an interaction with him (texting, calling or in person) then that interaction should be viewed as a failure. Well, the idea is to really get them hooked into what you are saying and then all of a sudden end the conversation….
So after a year of dating, my boyfriend and I slowly started getting distant because baseball started for him and track and work took up a majority of my schedule.
Last Sunday, No Contact finished, so I decided to send an interesting text… no response. So the next day, I send a heartfelt message saying how I apologize again for how things went down and that I wanted to start over and sent hopeful wishes that his semester is going well. So later on that day or the next day (I forget), I respond say I’m doing well and ask how his work has been. So then I skip a day because it was the third day and respond the next day (Friday, saying how I really like the album and I ask how he’s been), no response. My boyfriend of six months dumped me a few days ago because he didn’t fall in love with me, but he said he loves me and cares about me.
Almost a year ago I wrote an article on how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend. The how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend article is a total of 1728 words. While I am definitely going to be writing a lot in this guide it is not going to compare to the 20,000 word behemoth I put together outlining every single little step that you have to take if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. Learn More About Ex Boyfriend Recovery PROWant to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? The point I am trying to get at here is that human being are going to do what they want to do no matter what. I am the type of guy that has never really cared about a potential girlfriends past or future relationships. I have a lot of experience dealing with women who have been hurt by a boyfriend in this situation (1700 comments of experience ;). Well, the first factor is the amount of time that elapsed before he started dating the new girl. Lets take a few moments and dive into each of these factors so we can determine why each of them are so important. Now, even though I admit to wanting to feel validated by other women I am proud to say that I have never rebounded before. One thing I do want to point out is the fact that everything I just described is assumed to happen in under a month. Well, I would be lying to you if I said you had as good a chance as you did with him getting a girlfriend in the 3 week example above. So, let me break all of this down for you because what we just covered may have been a lot to swallow. If you would like to learn more about rebound relationships I urge you to check out my guide on them. Actions vs Words- In order to truly understand what someone is thinking it is smarter to look at the actions they take rather than the words they say. This invariably means that the longer they date the worse your chances are of getting your ex boyfriend back.
While it is true that the more time that your ex dates his new girlfriend the worse your chances become of getting him back it is also true that the less he dates the new girl the greater your chances become of getting him back.
Well, I am a guy and I can tell you that every girl I date I always compare to the previous girl I have dated. The trick to giving yourself the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back is to have a very logical mindset. I had the ability to think ahead to how those actions may affect me and the other person involved in the future.
In order to be logical you almost have to have this special ability, the ability to think ahead and see the future.
Attempting to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend is one of the hardest things to do. The gameplan for getting an ex boyfriend with a new girlfriend back is not a particularly easy one to understand. Each of these parts are equally important so don’t skip over them if you think they are not. I have been thinking a lot about desperation lately because I have been answering so many desperate women and I have come to one big conclusion. The reason that men don’t like desperate women is that a desperate woman are easy to get. The problem with desperation is that it makes you come off like you aren’t of high value or that you may act like this with any guy you deal with. Yet I always find it so interesting that the script completely flips after a breakup occurs.
I mean, he is dating another girl right now so you must have strong enough feelings for him to want him back. I know it seems like I am being really hard on you and I am but I am doing this for your own good. Seeing your ex boyfriend date another woman is not going to be an easy thing to live through.
Doing everything in her power to discredit anything positive left over from your previous relationship with your ex. To that I have one simple response (well really three but who’s counting?) Lets look at your options here. Look, what you are doing now obviously isn’t working because you felt the need to search the internet for further advice.
This only works in one case, if you are actually dating the person and they want to hear from you. You could do what I am recommending throughout this gameplan and work to slowly make your ex realize that the new girl isn’t anywhere near the woman that you are.
No contact is important throughout this process because it will allow you to evolve and give you time to reacquire that logical mindset that you need. Simply doing a no contact rule isn’t the end of your job during this phase of the process. Striving towards becoming an UG (ungettable girl) during your no contact rule is going to do two things for you. Well, that is what I am basically trying to give you by urging you to achieve the ungettable girl status. Look, I am not going to lie to you because a lot of the women who visit this site are incredibly intelligent. This final section, after the no contact period, is probably going to be the longest of the three that we will be talking about today.
Obviously this section is going to deal with the period of time that occurs after the no contact rule. It is only human to compare the person you are currently with to the person you used to be with.
Now, I want to hit the pause button for a moment and go over what I just covered because it is important for what we are going to be trying to do here. What we are going to be trying to do is highlight your best aspects so he uses this theory (setting the bar) to compare you to his new girlfriend.
I want to especially cover this because there is still a lot of confusion among the visitors of this site on how to properly approach an ex after the no contact rule. The key to really making this work is having something really interesting to say after you send the text above.
How can you highlight your strong points while at the same time highlighting his new girlfriends weaknesses?
I felt I was in a good mood any time I saw that person and this person was in a good mood when they saw me.


Once you have your list of good qualities in front of you it is time to integrate those into your conversation with your ex boyfriend. I think if I had to choose any of the qualities I listed above I would choose the one about being in a good mood.
Actually it is over seven thousand words so I am impressed you read all the way to the end. Naturally, I lose it because I have a horrible temper and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder that causes me to manically lash out with blind rage.
I also should add that here are a number of relatively unimportant details that go on with this chronically, including him bad mouthing me to his (and her) friends to the point where his roommate now hates me.
To this day I can’t think of a more helpless feeling than sending a text message or calling your significant other and being ignored on purpose.
I can’t tell you how many times I get this question on a daily basis from desperate men out there. Ok, I went through the emails and comments from yesterday and I received this question in some way, shape or form twelve times. So, if you are one of these 4,380 men wondering why your ex girlfriend is ignoring or avoiding you allow me to tell you what I tell every one of these men.
Now, since I am such a stand up guy I am going to give you in-depth analysis of the most common reasons your ex girlfriend may have for ignoring you. Well, for starters the two of you just broke up and many experts say that going through a breakup is sometimes worse than losing a job and if any of you have lost a job when you absolutely needed money then you will understand the pain that goes along with that.
Of course, usually women focus in on something specific that you did wrong during the breakup and remain angry at that. For example, if your ex girlfriend walked in on you and her sister in bed then she is absolutely going to have all the motivation she could ever need to stay angry at you and ignore you. One time there was this guy that became so desperate to get his ex back that he crashed her wedding and tried to break it up. If your ex girlfriend views you as that crazy ex then that could be a motivating factor in her attempts to ignore and avoid you. Have you ever had a girl that was head over heels for you to the point where it was kind of creepy. Apparently, the crazy Dutch woman in the story above got arrested for stalking but that isn’t really what I am getting at here. Though, I will admit that if you call your ex that much you should be arrested for stupidity AND stalking. Anyways, if you show up at your ex girlfriends house unannounced and uninvited multiple times then congratulations you are the stalker guy pictured in the gif above. Batman Shooter (Not Even Worth Mentioning This Guys Name)- I am sure you remember the day the Dark Knight Rises came out in theaters and some nut ball went in with a machine gun and shot people.
Columbine Shooters- Two mentally unstable young men go into school one day and essentially start a massacre. So, if your ex girlfriend perceives you as emotionally or mentally unstable then you have a serious problem because she put you in the unstable category with the people mentioned above. Lets say that I call your ex girlfriend like crazy, I show up unannounced, I threaten to hurt myself if she doesn’t cooperate and the list just goes on and on. I know, I know, it sucks to even think about this possibility but it is a possibility so I can’t leave it out. As many of my informed readers know this isn’t the only self help relationship website I own.
So, it could be possible that your ex girlfriend is ready to move on from you entirely and that is why she is ignoring or avoiding you. In my experience, in helping people with relationships for three years I have learned that it is extremely hard for people to cut their exes out of their life entirely.
So, the odds are in your favor that your ex girlfriend won’t be able to move on from you by cutting you out of her life entirely. Now that we understand the main reasons for why your ex girlfriend may ignore you lets shift our focus to what you need to be doing to prevent that from happening.  Now, in my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO, I go through a specific set of steps that you have to follow in order to get your ex girlfriend to NOT ignore you.
In other words, if you follow the advice laid out on this page you will most likely move from your ex girlfriend ignoring you to her not ignoring you. Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets take a look at how the three steps above can help you regain your exes attention. Right now your ex girlfriend is ignoring you (on purpose) and you are kind of freaking out about it. I have been through my fair share of experiences in which someone I really care for ignored me on purpose and let me tell you it is a very disheartening feeling. What do you think happens to most men when an ex girlfriend they really want to talk to ignores them on purpose?
They become super desperate and turn into those calling and texting terrorists that I mentioned above.
I am always telling the women over on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, that men are the ones that crave admiration but the truth is that human beings in general love to feel admired and the last time I checked human beings also included women. So, why is it that woman are constantly chasing the guys that don’t make them feel loved or admired? Well, it’s because they think that eventually a guy is going to change and show them the admiration and love they feel they deserve. An underlying reason that your ex girlfriend could potentially be ignoring you is that she knows it will illicit a reaction from you.
In his mind she would come home, feel horrible about the whole situation and apologize profusely to him. Now, what ended up happening was that when his girlfriend came home and realized he wasn’t there she decided to go out and spend some time on herself which essentially crushed my friend. In other words, the expectation that you are going to be like every other guy in the world is there. So, if you can overcome that expectation and do the opposite of what she is expecting all of a sudden it will be her who starts to rethink things and realize the mistake she has made.
In my E-Book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO, I recommend something I like to call the no contact rule. If you are successful in your attempt to turn the tables on your ex girlfriend then congratulations, you have completed the first step of the process. Step one (turning the tables on your ex) was all about putting her in a frame of mind where she is wanting to hear for you or wanting to message you.
Well, if you have read this far down on the page then I am assuming that your ex girlfriend is currently ignoring or avoiding you. Probably because she isn’t really looking forward to your text messages or phone calls. It basically primes her so that she is looking forward to your text messages or phone calls.
Once you feel you have your ex girlfriend properly primed or looking forward to hearing from you (step one) you can go ahead and reach out to her to test and see if she is going to ignore you anymore.
Your text message has to be so interesting that it would be impossible for your ex NOT to respond to it.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. The next day I send her a text explaining how I thought a lot about the night before and I would like a proper talk about it.
I know this seems like a lot of texting her, and I wish I had gotten the idea of messaging her in a way that she could read the message without letting me know last night. After the breakup we did No Contact during December, but then I contacted her by her birthday on January. I am currently going through the avoiding period with my ex fiancee and am highly doubtful that she’s trying to remove me from her life completely as her and I have a two year old daughter together.
Its been a 5 month now, grl who cheated with other man, didnt cme back to me bt i stil love her, i thnk we’ re completly finish, there is no geting back. Anyway, at the end of phase 2 one day I just got impatient and texted her something like ‘ for the past few months we have been spending a lot less time together.
For the next month I tried (2 times) to pin down a time and location for us to meet and discuss but she always had some reason (probably legitimate) for those times to not work, e.g.
I kept waiting to hear from her about when she wants to meet up till the middle of month 3 (because I was not sure when she returned from her trip abroad).
I know I may appear to be a very sore loser so far but here is the thing: I want this relationship to grow and I would still like to get back with her because she did not technically cheat on me. I do not plan to have any contact of any manner EVER with her, unless of course, she clearly expresses her desire to meet. You know, the kind of website that has really good content for a few years and then all of a sudden just falls off the map. I am talking about mistakes like becoming a GNAT, having him perceive you a desperate and coming off as super needy. Well, generally women who decide that they do want to get their ex boyfriends back AND use the no contact rule to do so will spend half of their strategy in the no contact rule and half of their strategy outside the no contact rule.
After much thought you determine that you want to do the 30 day rule so that means for the next thirty days you are going to be ignoring your ex in every shape or form possible. The two children have been best friends for a very long time and are talking to each other. It basically consists of having a mother sit in front of a baby and start blankly at the baby with a still face.
I know I have said this a lot throughout this site but I am going to say it again because it’s that important. He is unlike anyone else walking this earth and that means that the no contact rule will have to be shaped to him. In my opinion, there are three optimum no contact times and which one you choose to use will depend entirely on your situation. I used to think that situations where you cheated on an ex or did something horrible like that would be ideal for the 45 day rule but as I have seen more and more women embark on the rule in those instances I have found that more time tends to be more negative.
This is the ring that your father gave you before he passed away so it holds a lot of sentimental value to you. However, if you have just left some clothes or toiletries over at your exes you shouldn’t bother breaking the no contact rule to get them.
In other words, I want you to embark on the no contact rule the same way most everyone else would.
Sometimes the best way to get an ex back isn’t just to focus on getting him back but to focus your energies inward.
Look, I am not going to presume to know your entire situation with your ex like the back of my hand but I will tell you one thing. Lets do something that will actively increase your chances of winning him back AND help you get over that sinking feeling in your gut that you are feeling right now.
The idea is to fill up your own personal calendar so much that you don’t even have time to text an ex. I broke up with him because it was very clear that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship.
Focus on being emotionally stronger, so whatever you happens, you can accept easier if it doesn’t work out.
Imagine if you could be such an influence on your ex that you could make him choose to come back to you.
I am sure that you have probably spent an hour searching for one and then you came across this site and saw that my guides were insightful and helpful. I called it Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and basically put all of my knowledge down for you to absorb.
Many of these sources were forums full of women asking men if they ever regretted breaking up with their exes. Saying in public that you really regret letting go of your ex girlfriend can be perceived as a weakness but I know enough about the way relationships work to know that a lot of what men say publicly is meaningless.
That means that every month about 9,900 women are typing that particular phrase into Google.
In other words, statistics say that more men than women actually regret letting their exes go. I think the best way I can explain this to you is to explain the regretting process of men. I remember after I broke up with a girlfriend I started regretting my decision a bit later I think it was predestined though.
One of the biggest problems I think that women have when it comes to getting an ex back revolves around how much effort you put into getting him back.
I love the effort I really do but the fact of the matter is that you are putting your effort in the wrong place. Both of these women were considered to be the same level of attractiveness except there is a huge difference in personality between the two of them.
In other words, the guy is always having to work to get her attention and while many guys whine about the chasing process deep down we all kind of like it. I know that is a weird thing to say for a site that specializes in reuniting women with their exes but it’s almost like you have to train yourself to NOT want your ex boyfriend.
You still want your ex boyfriend back but you have accepted the fact that even if you do everything right things might not fall in your favor. If you are faking moving on then it is really not happening and you are more likely to be insincere. However, experience has taught me that nothing should ever be set in stone and there are certain situations where 30 days isn’t practical. If you are able to lull a men into a sense of false security where he is hopeful for the future and can see happiness with you and then you sweep the rug out from under him something amazing happens. In other words, as long as you do the no contact rule with no breaks it should stir up some type of regret within your ex boyfriend. When I first started this site I was a little afraid to speak up and hurt your feelings so I let it slide but I am not like that anymore. There are things that you can do that can cause an ex boyfriend to NOT regret letting you go. While there is still a lot more to cover on that subject I think it can speak volumes to look at some of the most common mistakes people make. It’s not like you are doing anything too crazy like throwing a rock through his house window.
I am not saying that this was the reason he broke up with you but it was an annoyance that factored into his decision. You may feel something inside of you that tells you to talk to him because he is your “best friend” right? In this section I am going to literally teach you what you need to do to make any man regret leaving you. Believe me, if it was easy then every broken hearted girl would have the ability to wrap a man around her finger. However, if you are willing to put in the work then I assure you that you are going to put yourself in the best position to get an opportunity to win him back. Yes, I am going to literally tell you how you need to interact with me in order to get me to fall for you. For example, if I really like someone I try to figure out exactly what they did to make me like them. Now, I do feel it is important to hit the pause button here so I can explain exactly why I chose to use an example of us meeting for the first time. Lets say that the two of us found each other attractive, we talked for a few hours and exchanged numbers so we can stay in touch. This is a really good sign because any time that you can get a guy to check his phone for a response it means that you have value to him in someway. I know it is a messed up game to play but it’s worked on me every single time and its worked on billions of other men too.
Actually, lets move on so we can see how we can apply this new found trend to your ex boyfriend.
One of the hidden aspects of the no contact rule is the fact that it allows you to ramp up the tension.
Well, you can’t leave your ex boyfriend wanting more if he knows he can have you all the time.
However, it is more powerful if you do it the way I am trying to show you as opposed to doing it right out of the gate.
If I go on a date with a girl I like and I am so enthralled about my dating experience with that girl that I daydream about her when I am trying to fall asleep then that is a really good sign for her because it means that the next day I am going to wake up and the first thing I think of will be her. You get a fishing pole, put some bait on a line and then you cast that line into the water in the hopes that a fish will bite the bait and get hooked on your line. Notice how it is not specified if it is you or your ex who will be taking this trip to Hawaii. Eventually we barely hung out and I understood he was genuinely busy because of colleges, baseball, and having guy time with his friends.
In hindsight I should have lengthened the response a bit more to seem like I’m busier.
I wanted to give you a guide that would take you from A to Z and show you exactly what you needed to do to get there.
Deep down I know that there are a lot of people in this world and there is probably someone out there better than me but I always convince myself that I am the best. Oh, and writing a book.) One thing I constantly notice is that women in this situation have really low self esteem. Sure, he is dating another girl and sure it hurts but the more reliant you become on him and his actions the less likely you will be to get him back. These factors are so important that they will dictate how you approach your particular situation.
Lets go back to the example I gave above (you and me dating and breaking up.) Lets imagine for a moment that after our breakup a total time of 3 weeks elapsed before I got a new girlfriend. Now, I was in no mood to talk so I am sure I was incredibly rude to them but I did start to get some confidence back. However, there will always be some men that refuse to face their pain head on and deal with it. It just likely means that him getting a girlfriend 7 months down the road increases the chances that his new girlfriend is not a rebound. The shorter amount of time that elapses the more likely it is that he just got into a rebound relationship.
You see, you are trying to get an ex boyfriend back who probably just got into a relationship with a new girlfriend.
I know that is probably not what you want to hear right now but I am not in the business of telling you what you want to hear.
However, the reason I trotted it out in this guide is because YOU are in a situation where your emotions are probably going to trump your logic a lot.
I have been through some dark times in my life (mostly my own doing I might add.) You don’t think I wanted to pick up the phone and beg for my ex back? I was only able to come to this conclusion by setting aside my emotions and thinking logically about the situation. Even if deep down he is just using the new girl to fill the void that you left it still won’t be easy to get him back. All this stress you are feeling about the new girl and your ex, leave all that stuff up to me. I am going to break this gameplan up into three different parts and break it down from there. The thing I want to talk about specifically is that your ex is going to start dating someone new BUT a lot of things are going to occur during this time as well. I was having a pretty bad day and feeling bad about being rejected by a girl in my personal life.
Not only did I find it incredibly insightful but I also began to realize that all I wanted to feel was that I was the center of a girls universe. All of a sudden the woman becomes reliant on the man whereas at the beginning of the relationship it was probably the guy who was chasing the girl. This will probably be the shortest section out of the three I talk about because there isn’t too much to go into.
You are super emotional and a lot of the decisions you are making are not based on logic with a future in mind. Isn’t it ironic that probably the smartest thing you can do to get your ex boyfriend back (and get him to dump his ex girlfriend) is to NOT care.
But if you do strive towards becoming the ungettable girl not only will it act as a goal to achieve but it will act as a backup plan if this gameplan doesn’t work out for you. This means that you are going to have to figure out how to initiate contact with your ex again after a lot of time off from talking to them.
Eventually a girl is going to come close to his idea of the perfect woman but we are talking about a member of the male species here so something is going to go wrong in that relationship (usually because of something he did.) Anyways, after a breakup occurs every single girl is going to be compared to the standard that the best girlfriend he ever had set.
This can be especially effective if you do this right because not only will he begin to realize that the new girlfriend can’t compare to you but he will think that leaving her is his idea when really you were the one to plant the seed. However, at the same time it has to be really interesting (to get him to respond.) One of the best ways to do that is with the following text message. Notice how the tone of the messages that were sent was really friendly (almost playful.) This is a good opener because it yielded a response. The first thing I think you need to do is think back to your relationship and list all the high points you can.
So, basically any time my (now) ex girlfriend and I saw each other we always seemed to be in a good mood.
Now, it is risky to send that alone because it may cross over some lines in your exes mind. I realize I left out a lot of the steps to accomplish the goals you need to accomplish but I gave you the overall gameplan that you need to succeed.
We start sleeping with each other again; he invites me to thanksgiving dinner with his extended family. Instead of leaving it at just one missed text or phone call you up the count to thirty and it’s almost like someone else is controlling your actions.
More specifically, I am going to let you in on why your ex girlfriend is ignoring you or avoiding you on purpose.
So, if twelve is my daily average of receiving this question then that means that this question is asked a total of 4,380 to me every single year by 4,380 different men. Another common thing that I know women get angry about is something you said about them during a heated argument or fight. You know, the ones where the crazy ex boyfriend stalks the ex girlfriend until she has to take out a restraining order. Sure, as men we all like to feel admired by the opposite sex but there is a point where it can become too much.
It’s a creepy looking guy that just follows one specific person around without being seen.
In fact, I also own another website called Ex Boyfriend Recovery in which I help women try to get back with their exes. In fact, I wasn’t even close to the second person to have this epiphany about moving on. Only a select few can do it successfully and guess what, yours truly couldn’t do it during his first breakup. However, if you want her back in your life permanently there is a lot more you have to do than to just regain her attention. Seriously, there are moments where you just want to scream at the top of your lungs at how unfair your love life is.
Now, my friend (who worked from home) was absolutely furious that he decided to one up her by not being there when she showed up at home.
You see, my buddy was sure that when he came home he was going to teach his girlfriend a lesson and she was going to apologize to him. Your ex is trying to teach you a lesson by ignoring you so she is going to have a similar expectation that my friend had about his girlfriend.
However, if you want more advice on what length of time you should use when you implement the no contact rule I recommend reading my book or checking out this article. While this is essentially in making her not ignore you it doesn’t necessarily mean that she will stop ignoring you. That means that whenever you do reach out to her via a text message or a phone call she isn’t responding or picking up. So, don’t even think about reaching out to your ex until you have successfully turned the tables on her.
That made her very upset and sad and we had a short talked were she again asked me to stay over, which I declined because I was confused about my feelings. Last night I messaged her on facebook again, this time being a bit more open about my feelings and opening the possibility of us working things out. We have been talking a bit and I become the terrorist exboyfriend, I got really, really nervous about her new relationship (which was a friend of mine and is no longer) and an surgical intervention she had so she told me not to talk to her anymore and has been ignoring my text since then (two weeks ago).
We had a great time and we talked a lot via text messages, but then I became the GNAT and acted irrationally, she was hot and cold and used mixed messages which drove me mad.
That may partly be because we never really spent a lot of time together for extended periods, except for the start of the relationship.
From my experience in failing to set up a time in the previous month, I responded ‘sure, let me know when you would like to meet’ so that she could pick the time that works best for her. I reached out to her around the middle of the month to check if she was back but got no response.
What surprises me is the fact that she could not find find any time for us to meet and talk but she found time to find this new guy. In other words, once that time frame is up your no contact rule ends immediately and you start to go on the offensive to get your boyfriend back.
All of a sudden one child gets upset with the other one and decides to ignore the other child.
Assuming that it took him 66 days to get out of the habit of talking to you that would mean that a 90 day rule would far exceed that 66 day habit rule.


So, when the no contact rule starts affecting her ex in a positive way so much so that he decides that he wants to ask her to be back together she completely ignores him.
The last two years haven’t been the best due to me becoming depressed due to my birth control pill. I have been working on myself, posting on social media, and I’m three weeks into NC and my ex texted me last night apologizing for hurting me and how he handled things. He wasn’t upset at all when I told him I thought we should break up and I got pretty mad and left. He told me that while he wants to be friends eventually he needs a while before we talk again.
In essence, I suppose it can be argued that this guide is all about improving your chances of making an ex want you back which is what almost everyone on this site wants.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Heck, a lot of people have already succeeded in trying to get their exes back through my guides. Of course, as I predicted above most of the men that chimed in said that they didn’t. Now, obviously if a breakup occurs the number that you were given has fallen below a satisfactory level. We are always obsessed with getting the newest things and sometimes that carries over into our relationships. One thing that I constantly notice about these type of women is the fact that have more in their life than men. So, while you have hope alive you don’t want to be caught in limbo land so you start doing things to kind of move on. The point of this exercise isn’t to tell you that you have no hope or anything morbid like that. Every single one who has done this successfully (that I have heard back from) has always said to me that their ex started chasing them again. I am still a fan of the 30 day no contact period so if it is within your power to complete one I would say to complete it. Instead of walking home depressed and with his tail between his legs, you sweeping the rug out from under his feet will create this sense that he lost something and this sense makes a man realize how much he really liked you in the first place. When the two of you were first dating he was probably on the edge of his seat for every text response.
With this in mind you are going to have accept that fact that you may have to make some major changes and put in some major work. I can’t promise that you will succeed but I can promise to raise your chances substantially. After a while I started to become hyper aware of these trends that women do during interactions that work almost every single time. The reason I did this as opposed to using one where the two of us are imaginary exes is that I want you to grasp the concept first.
In other words, your ex boyfriend is almost expecting you to become annoying and beg him to take you back at some point. You want him to wake up the next day and be checking his phone every five seconds hoping that you will text him.
So, the day after your initial first communication (which wasn’t supposed to last all that long) I want you to enter into a full no contact mode for a day. Now, you have waited 30 days for this moment and now that it is finally here you just let loose and we talk all day long. Well, the fishing analogy holds true to what you are going to be trying to do with daydream bait.
Me and him are both going to prom with different people and I just miss him so much and I want to be with him again but idk if I should wait till after prom before I contact him or try to talk to him more before prom so we can hangout there.
But eventually it got to the point where the love he gave to me was vanishing and I became very needy and sad.
He texted twice in these two months saying that I shouldn’t keep thinking about it and that I should move on in life, because he wants to see me happy. Lately we’ve been fighting over everything and one day the fight was large and he told me the doesnt love me like before and he wants to break up. Right now there are 1700 comments on the page and it doesn’t look like that number will stop anytime soon. Honestly, every time I open this site and think back to the early articles I wrote I am actually ashamed because I felt like I dropped the ball for you guys.
There is a lot to talk about here but I think what I want to tackle first has to do with your fear of other women.
I don’t think I do it because I am trying to be conceited I am doing it because it will give me the mindset I need to have to be the best boyfriend I can possibly be.
No matter who broke up with who the fact of the matter is that there is going to be pain on both sides of the breakup (both yours and his.) Most men will look to fill this pain by using other women to make themselves feel better. So, instead of doing that they rebound with a girl who can constantly fill their need to feel validated. The more time that elapses the higher the chances are that their relationship could become serious. Out of all the situations you will encounter on this website this will probably be the one that has the lowest chances of success. Now, before we really start to move on I want to let you into my personal life for a moment which is something that I rarely do. Believe it or not she is probably going to be threatened by you just like you are threatened by her. Make no mistake about it, right now your ex boyfriend chose the new girl over you (rebound or not.) If you do get into a negative exchange with the new girlfriend you are probably going to accomplish one thing, bring your ex closer to her. While I may have been slowly coming to the realization that the new girl wasn’t for me you did something that was a massive mistake, you engaged my new girlfriend on Facebook and had a Facebook war. Well, I am going to show you how to make him decide all on his own to do it and you won’t even have to do anything crazy. However, imagine if a few months down the road your ex is still dating this new girl but he happens to run into you and you have achieved this UG status I keep going on and on about. Not to mention, the complexity of the new girlfriend is added into the fray so you have found yourself in quite the pickle.
Now, I do realize that in the example I provided above the responses aren’t exactly what you would call positive but this kind of opener is not conducive of a positive response. In addition, you can’t say anything that he will view as you trying to break him and his new girlfriend up. We didn’t speak for a few weeks until I found out that they were still seeing each other. Anyway, truly two days after my birthday I discover she’s stayed the night at his house. He could have saved me sleepless nights, nightmares, panic attacks, emotional break downs in my work setting if he just talked to me like I asked.
I shouldn’t, but I quietly creep on their social media occasionally, and, shocker, this girl STILL stalks me (on the Internet AND in the real world).
I’m disappointed our conversation ended so poorly, but he did text me saying he was trying to calm down and gave me the links to all of her fake accounts for me to block. Of course, in addition to that I will also be giving you a game plan on what to do going forward if you are currently in a situation where you are being ignored or avoided. Well, sometimes when women get fed up with their exes they decide that they want to move on with their lives instead of being hurt all the time by an unresponsive ex boyfriend.
No, there are a lot of capable people out there that can come to this conclusion on their own. She is hoping that it will draw out that admiration and love that she so desperately wants.
He went to the movies, ate at a nice restaurant and by the end of the day, when he felt enough time had passed, he decided to come home.
Recently I said some hurtful things about her body that really made her mad and didn’t want to talk to me but later on did.
Im done healing myself, i thnk i realy love her, and i want her back in my life please Christ help me. For the first 6 months, she was unemployed so we spent about 80% of the weekends (fri-sun evenings) together. But I found it hard that in the next month (even with 2 weeks going to trips) she never could find any time to meet – and I had basically opened up my entire calendar for her. The next thing I heard from her was in the second half of the month wishing me a happy birthday. A week later, I got impatient and wrote a page long “emotional” email explaining my situation and angle to her also detailing that I want us to be together and the ‘breakup text’ was because I was upset at the time. However, as time went on I found that people wanted more and more of these step by step guides. Now, maybe when you were planning the breakup of your relationship in your head you thought it would be a good idea.
It is only until he goes out into the world and experiences the horror that is other women (who are not you) that he will finally realize what a mistake he made.
It isn’t impossible that a long lasting relationship can become boring and sometimes if a guy feels like this he may want something new.
Look, I totally have your back when it comes to getting him back or making him regret letting you go. You see, more often than not these type of women really want to feel loved by a man but their whole life doesn’t revolve around that principle. The point of this is to put you in a position where you have an opportunity to reignite a connection and the best way to do that is to show your ex that your world doesn’t revolve around him.
For example, if I were to be invited to a party and meet a very pretty girl I am sure that I would like her within minutes.
However, somewhere along the way it changed and he started getting annoyed with all the attention he was getting. While the texting between the two of us commences we are going to have a long conversation.
So, when he sees that the opposite is happening, you ignoring him, he begins to get antsy and may even want you to message him a little bit. I miss him so much I get sick to my stomach and cry myself to sleep I really don’t know what to do. I would always mention how things were different and he apologized and said he would work on it better.
T was cousins with a guy I had an one night stand with so I thought it would be weird is I had a relationship with T and I didn’t try anything.
The first 1 month, there was no contact between us but he felt that I want him back from my posts on facebook and told my friends that he doesnt want me back.
Now, lets say that the rebound doesn’t even compare to the standard that the old girlfriend set. It is human nature and everyone is going to make impulsive decisions based on emotions at times. All I want you to focus on is successfully implementing the gameplan I am about to give you. While I am going to tell you exactly what you need to do to succeed in your campaign to get your ex boyfriend back there is a concept you first need to understand. I have established throughout this site that men usually only respond positively to good memories so I don’t want you to touch the bad ones with a ten foot pole. I truly and honestly believe he has some serious emotional and mental health problems that he will not address.
Not prepared for that talk I didn’t express my feelings very well, and hurt her very bad. Her and I broke up last June and were back together briefly in late October (briefly as in like two weeks) and we never really went public with it. After the first 6 months, she got a good job and our frequency of meeting up decreased – drastically in my opinion. I had been told that she would go abroad for another work trip around this time for a couple of weeks in the later part of the month. Regardless, I still think she looks cute but she told me once that she is never approached at bars by guys. I lost myself in the relationship and stopped putting time and energy into the activities I enjoy.
I lost my sex drive, became very distant and cold, negative, slept all the time, didn’t want to get out of bed, and had no energy or motivation.
I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend and he told me that if he went his entire life only dating me he would regret it. I deleted his contact from my phone so its not as easy to text him (I have his number memorized but it makes it less convenient to reach out). Maybe you thought that you would spend all of your time with your best friends hopping from bar to bar meeting new girl after new girl. It is a period of complete silence where you don’t talk or respond to your ex in any way shape or form.
Now, that doesn’t mean I am going to date her because I am smart enough to know that there is more to a relationship than just sheer looks. Eventually I said we needed a break to breathe and figure things out which he disagreed and said we could work it out. But all of a sudden, one day he called to tell me he slept with someone and hence not sure of his feelings towards me. He keeps posting on social media hinting that he misses what we had but I am not sure if he is really sincere. When I knew I stopped my posts on facebook and deleted our pictures and deleted his number from my whatsapp so I show him that I dont care.
The ironic part about all of this is that if you do try to control another human being they immediately resent you. It creates this strange confidence in myself and I rely on that confidence to get me through any interaction I have with a potential girlfriend. I needed to be told that I was still worth something since I felt I wasn’t in that relationship. The problem is that at the beginning of this process, especially in your case, emotions are usually not your friend.
While I suppose this is a possible outcome the chances of it happening are below one percent probably. I have cared for this site from the beginning back when no one heard of it or cared about it.
However, it will also give you the ability to figure out what you need to do at every single juncture of the gameplan.
Once you have the conversation open with an ex you can text back and forth for a little bit and then I would like you to end the conversation.
If he responds positively (like the person in the example above did) I would move on to the next part.
Not only did I paint the current relationship between you and your ex in a positive light (you two still get along) but I also acknowledged something that maybe the two of you were afraid to admit, that whether you like it or not you actually still think about each other. I planned on leaving a calm voicemail regarding my frustration to these stalker like tendencies of his group of friends but instead I panicked. He’s even reached out to my friends, telling them how he feels awful for being terrible to me. So, every interaction I have with her after the initial meeting is going to shape my perception of her. I did this for 3 weeks after that he called me because he knew that my father is in hospital so I sounded cool.
Now, if person A imagined a logical future to begging they would probably see the bad consequences that begging has towards re-attracting an ex. She hugged me and apologized profusely and swore she didn’t want me to see her as a home wrecker. I am his rock, I am his light, he knows I will never hurt him or use him like all of the others.
I had explained to him (post mania) I wanted to drop some of his stuff off at his back door and when wont he be home?
Upon seeing no lights in there I started walking back but saw from across the street that she was returning home holding hands with another guy. I told him that I completely understand why he left and apologized for hurting him as well. But just after two days of our relationship, he stepped back and called off our engagement and the upcoming wedding. He added me on Facebook and we talked there a few times, we met again without arraging it though and we teased each other. Nearly a year and a half ago, out of the blue, he called me up to tell me he met his soulmate, the love of his life and he didn’t want me around anymore. He drops 400$ on my birthday, not including a totally separate date he had taken me on a week prior.
I ended up reaching out to him on day 11 of NC (I know that’s bad) but we actually had a decent conversation.
So, maybe the next day I decide to send you a text to say hello hoping to have another amazing deep and insightful conversation.
I’m running on very little sleep right now due to my jam packed work schedule that I filled to the brim since he last left.
But since she wasn’t willing to take me back and I ws getting frustrated with insecurities and maybe one day she could find someone and leave me I decided to give her the break up she wants. The only bad thing I started feeling in the last 2-3 months of this phase is that our conversations were always centered around her – her boss, her job, things she does, where she wants to go, what movie she wants to watch, etc.
He has communicated numerous times to me what he was unhappy with but I just couldn’t understand since I was in that state of mind.
He seemed invested in the conversation and when I told him I had go he actually continued the conversation for a little longer. Later when I made him understand that these things are ok and we should think over again, he had come down to meet me.
And so we talked on the phone, got everything out and he genuinely seemed like we would be together again. I am being very emotionally reactive and have been obsessively mulling over the past six months. He said things like he thought he’d met the right person, but at the wrong time and he could still see us eventually being together. I have realized that I need to work on myself in order to have a successful relationship, so I have made the necessary changes. Suddenly prom tickets were going to be on sale and he said he didn’t know if he wanted to go with me because everything was confusing right now.
I say it with 100% honesty, at this point I had given up and truly was very, very calm regarding my actions.
You don’t obsessively post things about yor rebound relationship on social media if you are confident and happy.
Near the end of phase 2 I felt like I had been attempting to have an in-depth conversation with her about a semi-serious topic (in my opinion) for nearly 2 months but the low frequency of meeting up made it impossible to finish the regular chit-chat and still have time for semi-serious discussions.
The next day, I wrote another page long email explaining to her that I still want our relationship to work out.
I also wanted to break up, but he made the words official so in a sense he broke up with me. Now, I know breaking NC is a really bad thing to do and I’m wondering what I can do to fix the fact that I broke NC.
He told me I should go with my friends because he thinks I would have a better time with them and he said he wasn’t sure if he was going to go but if he did he would ask another girl. He swears she is more of a friend with benifits, while she considers them to be in a relatively serious relationship. Also, hinting at the fact that the other guy did not bother me while not hinting at my thoughts about him being a rebound.
It has been a month since we split and I already feel better and getting back to the old me, although I still have a long way to go. He told me he’s going to make her understand that he only wants her companionship at this point, and would like to fix things with me. I want him to panick over my loss, but I feel as though it will just push him toward her and more shallow relationships to fill the gap. The handful of times I did call her, most of the times she did not pick up and never called me back either. I will admit that I have tried to talk to him after he ended it and noticed that he was ignoring me (which is understandable). He said nothing about it besides why I didn’t tell him earlier and a few days later we were at a bar each one on his own and he texted me to say he liked me too but he was scared of the distance (because I was leaving) because he just got out of a long distance relationship at the start of the summer.
Seeing all these, my parents asked me to forget him and I am under pressure to get married asap. I got so upset because I would be there with my friends while he would be with his date and it made me so mad. I tried begging, doing everythng to get him back, but he simply plays around asking me to do what I feel is right. A senior boy then asked me to prom and i said yes because one it would make him jealous and two I would have sometime to take nice pics with and just have a good time with a friend. Next day, I texted her a simple message that I hope we could be friends (signalling my acceptance of the fact that she has moved on). When I text him on watsapp, he sees the msg but replies it at his own ease and never replies concretely.
When my ex found out about the senior he deleted all our pictures except for one from prom last year and unfollowed me on Instagram and Twitter. There’s a part of me that still wants things to work out, but i still have a lot of resentment towards him. I tried sending a few light-hearted messages to her as you suggest on your blog (2 in the course of the following week) just so we could get talking again but still no response.. It literally broke me because I feel like there is no way of getting back together because he unfollowed me. I did find out he went to a local bar with another girl (that he was interested in back in high school) a week after he ended our relationship. I texted him the other day (it’s been like 3 weeks since the breakup) just to ask how baseball was going and he responded within 30 seconds and sent long paragraphs about it and asked me how track was going. The convo lasted 30 minutes and I told him I had to go to bed and I’d see him the next day. I got back for Christmas and a friend that was his friend too told him he was about to make a move.
He seemed really sad and was mostly just making up an excuse to check in to make sure I was okay. Part of me thinks he did it to avoid his feelings over the breakup but the other part of me thinks that he’s genuinely interested in her considering he was back in high school. And I’ve been going out more than usual with my friends and having a great time with them but I have moments where I just get sad and miss him so much.
We texted all day long and we met once outside his house for a quick kiss because he just came from work.
Yesterday when I saw him I walked half a block chatting with him because we were heading in the same direction to class. Then the third time I was coming out of the gym and he was going in and neither of us really looked all that happy to see each other. I told him to come with me and my friends for coffee but he was already out so we said to meet up later. Also, my boyfriend is a pretty impatient person and he was a real player when we first met.
I am worried that in the next month he will revert back to his old ways and start sleeping with a bunch of different girls and dating other girls and will get over me. He didn’t answer the next day when I called him to meet up and discuss this so I went to find him. I asked him to tell me why he did this and he said I didn’t deserve to know because I spoke to him badly.
When I asked him why he did kiss me if he wasn’t sure about it he said that he wanted to be sure and now he is. And then day before valentines day ? texted her ( didnt text her in between 2 weeks ) what an amazing time we had together and i wish everthing could be better. After one more time I accidently saw him we didn’t see each other or talked to each other for about a month and a half. About two weeks ago I went to the hospital and when he learned about it from a common friend he showed he cared about me for the first time, not to me though, to our friend. Now I’m in my home town for the holidays and I walked by his shop a couple of days ago with some friends. We stopped a little further to take something to eat and we saw him crossinf the street twice looking our way. Later I found out from my best friend that happens to be sisters with his best friend that her sister asked her a lot all that time when I was going to go to my home town and that means he asked. Even though I am still in love with him I don’t want him back right now but eventually I will, I just want him to realise he did wrong and what he lost and come back begging.
My bff told me to be friendly but not to much, distant but not mean and not to show my feelings to him. She says that when I meet him I should said hi and even talk to him a little, just the basics.



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