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admin | How To Get My Girl Back | 19.11.2014
In the middle of divorce, it's important to remind yourself that life won't always be so difficult. Still, it's hard to believe that things get better when you're dealing with the stress of a split, so to help remind you, we've compiled 10 of our favorite quotes on self-preservation and rebuilding your life after a hardship.
Click through the slideshow below to read them, then head to the comments to share your favorite quotes or sayings on perseverance and moving on. The following examples of clues may be helpful in discovering patterns and meaning in all types of genograms. To practice evaluating and interpreting genograms, refer to questions in the clue descriptions. Spend some time with these questions, as they will provide the practice needed to create and interpret genograms. For example, imagine that a mother (Lillian) is trying to cope with the death of her elderly mother, the diagnosis of her sister's breast cancer, and her own depression. With all of these significant events, Lillian may create problems by fighting against her youngest daughter’s decision (Laura) to leave home for college. Look at the dates on Sharon's genogram, especially those in close proximity, and guess about their significance.
You probably noted the connection between the death of Sharon's father two months prior to the birth of her son. Sharon could bond extremely deeply with Joe, which would have implications for the mother-child relationship and to her relationships with other family members. Not directly related to the "dates" clue, but also a possibility: Sharon's mother, in losing her husband, may begin to demand more from Sharon.
Gender beliefs and values may thread through families in powerful and subtle ways, creating difficulties when a member marries or partners with someone with different gender beliefs. Mike's background reveals that his grandfather, Leo, was a young WWI veteran who lost an arm in the fighting.
He was a quiet man, often called "the rock." Mike and his brothers were raised as hardworking, athletic and competitive young men, devoted to their mother and father.
When Sally married Mike, everyone told her what a wonderful man she had found and remarked on how well he took care of her. He participated in discussions with the doctors, but usually told Sally, “They don’t really know all that much.
You may also have noted that both Mike and James (after his brother's death) were the oldest sons in their immediate families. How might the family react if Caitlin was to grow up and marry a man who openly showed his emotion? If you were Sally and Mike's therapist, what other information might you want about the family? What types of problems do you think Josh and Jessica might face in their relationship given Jessica's family history? Looking at four generations of Jessica's family, it is clear that marriages in this family do not generally last. In Jessica's family, the dissolution of these marriages has been generally viewed as the man's fault. Since her father has evidently not played a strong role in her life, Jessica may not have been able to develop healthy, trusting relationships with male family figures in her life. Since she has always been told that men leave, Jessica may not see this (or any) male relationship as long-term, which may affect her commitment to the relationship. On the other hand, Jessica may fear Josh’s abandonment (thus fulfilling her mother's and grandmother's words) and become very possessive and jealous. Keep in mind that coming from a family that has had troubled relationships doesn't cause a person to have a troubled relationship. Secrets, still unrevealed or unknown to some, provide information the boundaries and communication patterns in certain families. Josh says, "My father, Frank, had three sisters, but there's something different about the oldest, Gert. My grandfather came from Italy but no one knew anything about his childhood or family there.
Being part of a family that has so many secrets may have taught Josh that he can't really trust other people, especially those who are the closest to him.
What issues do you think the secret of Janice's murder might raise for Maria and her mother Janice?
In looking at this genogram we see that Janice (Maria's mother) had a close, but conflictual relationship with her father, Mike.


But how does the secret of her great aunt's murder affect the current relationship between Maria and Janice? In looking at Cara and Earl's genogram, it is evident that they came from very different families of origin. The differences in families of origin may have a significant effect on Cara and Earl's marriage. Childhood experiences may certainly affect Cara and Earl's expectations of raising their children.
In addition, maybe Cara feels like her relationship with her parents was too close, at times smothering her.
Earl and Cara could struggle with the role of Joanne (Carol's mother) in their lives due to the intense mother-daughter connection. This loss may be affecting Lea's self-concept and possibly her self-esteem, and may be playing a role in her difficult romantic relationships. Lea’s adoption into a highly ethnic family (Greek), her background and her appearance called attention to visible differences between Lea and her relatives. When you look at Emily's genogram you find she grew up in a large family in which children were treated seriously and given many responsibilities early on.
In fact, once they moved into their father's house, it was as if the years of separation never occurred and the family now lives with the fiction of this biological unit.
Frank has only briefly mentioned this issue to Sherrie and has never spoken about it again. How do you think Frank and Sherrie's individual backgrounds are affecting the way the relate to their daughter, Emily? Frank has had at least two major losses in his life at relatively young ages: his father’s abandonment and his mother’s death.
Evidently Emily has interpreted the behavior of her father not as loving and caring, but rather controlling and demanding. Any theme may be played out in positive or negative ways; how family members act upon their themes is what is important. When you look at Aren's genogram, you see that Herman, his grandfather, still works part-time at 84.
He is well respected as the father who raised two children after his wife died in childbirth with her second child.
Marianne's three sisters have also been closely involved in Elise's life and shared their accomplishments with her. Although they might have talked extensively about their expectations, Aren and Elise each have dreams about their futures that are partly based on their gendered beliefs. Without multiple serious conversations and adjustments, the gendered values and beliefs could result in ongoing disagreement and disappointment for both parties. Regardless what plans the couple might make in their early years of partnership, parenthood may create powerful disagreements. A family’s cultural heritage may serve to provide clues to values, beliefs, behaviors and communication patterns. You may discover histories of racism, strong religious beliefs, or elders who still live within an ethnic enclave. If you look at Wei-Lin’s genogram you will see that her father, Gus Chang, immigrated by himself to the United States from China when he was a young man.
Gus married Mai Lee, a first generation Chinese young woman who taught pre-school until she became a mother.
Wei-Lin was raised to believe in the power of hard work and the need to support other family members.
She not only resists working outside the home until the twins leave for college, she insists that money Ted earns be sent to her family in China and to the support of her siblings’ education.
Ted’s parents are reluctant to provide funds for his schooling, given that he was sending his money to in-law relatives in China whom he never even met. Wei-Lin places on her husband, the pressure she places on their grandchildren to be successful and the distance she keeps from her in-laws.
Amir Sriram and his wife Miriam grew up in an Indian-American community outside Detroit, where each set of parents had immigrated when they were in their early 30’s. Although Amir, who is 8 years older than Miriam, dated quite a few women who did not come from his cultural background, he knew he would be expected to marry a woman who shared his background.
The couple met through their parents who developed a friendship over the years and, believing that their children would be right for each other, set up a meeting between them. Having reached age 30, Amir was ready to settle down and, though Miriam had hoped to attend graduate school in history, she responded to parental pressure and agreed to marry Amir.


The families made the arrangements and the marriage took place six months after the couple met. Currently the family is in turmoil as their second child, 15-year-old Aparna, is challenging the family’s expectations of her. Family boundaries establish the members’ relationship with the “outside” world as well as between and among family members.
The regulation of boundary openness or closeness affects the openness or privacy of individuals and of whole family units. If you look at Rob and Nathan’s genogram you will see how boundary patterns have influenced their lives in the past ten years. Rob was drawn to the arts and, against the family wishes, became a successful set designer. Although Rob was a caring uncle, Rob’s siblings appeared uncomfortable when he got too close to any of the grandchildren and would never let him take them for outings on his own. Although the family did not have much money, education was prized and his mother encouraged her children to explore areas of interest and to follow their dreams. Therefore, the idea of viewing a non-blood relative, actually a stranger’s child, as a family member is seen as uncomfortable and unthinkable.
In contrast, Nathan’s family has incorporated new members across multiple generations through remarriage and adoption. Their boundaries are more flexible so they are not threatened by a new addition through adoption.
It is also possible that Rob’s family has tried to keep his homosexuality a secret within the family. The family members can no longer refer to Nathan as Rob’s “friend”; instead, they will have to acknowledge his lifestyle choice to their community of extended family and friends.
Given their religious history and their desire for conformity, the adoption plan seems unacceptable. CoolChaser lets you easily create beautiful Facebook layouts within minutes - so easy even your grandma can do it! There will, in fact, come a day when you don't struggle to pull yourself out of bed and get yourself to work.
Although he lived, specialists told them he needed years of special education and that he would never be able to function as a fully responsible adult. He never cried and took on another job to pay the medical bills, reassuring Sally that everything was going to be all right. If Jessica and Josh are able to have a healthy relationship, perhaps Jessica's mother will feel threatened by Josh. It's important to note that Janice's murder was not talked about because it was too painful so Mike's daughter knew little of her aunt. At this point Lea has had many boyfriends but nothing very serious; Cleo is engaged to be married next year. They assume that their mother was murdered, but their father and stepmother will not discuss it. How do we behave as a result of this identity?” Themes make evident a family's core values and belief structure that guide the family’s future behavior. They have been dating seriously for two years and have begun to talk about living together with plans for a future marriage. How wide a range of friends (values, religion, gender, ethnicity, interests, etc) are you allowed to develop? Or the majority of family members may exclude a member who challenges their core values or who ignores a significant family theme.
He exhibited a great need to be an individual and to engage in activities that surprised or dismayed the family. Due to a construction accident, his father was placed on disability when Nathan was young and was ill throughout much of Nathan’s life.
Nathan’s family welcomed Rob into their lives because they were so pleased that Nathan finally found someone to love. You won't always want to take cover and curl up in the fetal position when someone has the nerve to mention your ex's name.



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