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Helping the average male out there figure out how to get his ex girlfriend re-commit to him.
I suppose the best way to start this guide out is by talking to you about my theory of commitment for ex girlfriends.
You see, I think that making an ex commit to you is a very hard task because you have to dispel all their fears about you. So, a big step towards getting her to commit to you would be all about you finding a way to dispel her fears.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? What are some of the most common fears that women have about getting back into a relationship with their ex boyfriend?
If things between the two of you were great then you wouldn’t be on my site looking for answers on how to get her to re-commit to you.
Well, the thing that has always fascinated me about helping men get their exes back is the fact that no two situations are ever alike. There is always going to be a uniqueness to every situation but if you really take a step back there is also one thing that bonds each situation. For example, lets say that tomorrow a man comments on this article and cites growing apart as a reason for the breakup with his ex.
But they are connected in the fact that both of the women who dated these gentlemen are probably terrified to re-commit to them because they don’t want history to repeat itself. Now, most women I have met want children at some point but did you know that there is a certain age in which a woman’s fertility drastically drops and where their chance for a miscarriage is substantially higher? Doctors have literally pinpointed this age as one where where a woman’s fertility drastically decreases.
If a woman wants to bear children in the future (which most women do) then that means that they have to find a man, most likely marry him and then get pregnant before 35 to achieve their life goals.
If your girlfriend is in her thirties and she doesn’t sense things are going anywhere then she is most likely going to view you as a waste of time. So, the headwind you are going to face in this situation is the fact that if your girlfriend was older then she needs to get the sense that your relationship is going to go somewhere.
Lets say that I was dating a girl and we had a really good connection when we were dating but gradually over time we started to resent each other.
Oh, and I am not talking about the type of arguments where you have a disagreement and go back and forth with it. What I mean by that is that it’s not easy to create the spark to ignite the relationship but once you do ignite it the fire burns bright.
Now that you understand these fears and have a really good grasp of what is going on in your ex girlfriends head to make her have them lets turn our attention to the hardest part of this process, overcoming those fears. This is probably the hardest fear to overcome because you can’t fully overcome it until you get back into a relationship with her and prove to her that things are different this time around.
The real problem is that this fear may be so prevalent in her that it is preventing her from taking you back altogether. You were devastated when you were told that you had been fired and you vowed that you would do anything to get your old job back.
Well, you are going to point out the fact that since they let you go their sales have suffered drastically and you were their top salesman. You might also mention that some of their clients have actually called you after you were fired saying that they missed dealing with you and the person that your ex company has working with them is horrible. We basically highlighted the positives that you had to bring to the table and reminded your ex boss how perfectly suited you were for the job that you were just fired from.
Getting your ex girlfriend to re-commit to you is very similar to the scenario I presented to you above.
Simple, make a list of everything POSITIVE that you brought to the relationship that you know for a fact no one can match. These positive experiences are your ammunition to overcoming her fear that history will repeat itself. You are going to magnify these positive experiences and minimize the negative experiences that she is so afraid that will repeat if she gets back with you.
What you want to do is not be obvious about the fact that you are magnifying the positive experiences to her.
Lets pretend that the BIG positive that you brought to the relationship with your ex girlfriend was excitement. Anyways, notice how this message grounded the exciting memory with the fact that the person just saw a hot air balloon.
Subtle messages like this serve as constant reminders to your ex girlfriend about the fact that you had a very exciting relationship. Sprinkling in positive texts to remind your ex of the good ole days is one thing but doing it over the phone is an entirely different matter altogether. It simply means she is thinking back to that memory and it might even make her a little sad because she is remembering a time when she was so happy and she is not happy right now at all.
She is going to want to feel good again and as long as she looks at you as the person who can make her feel good again then you are in the money!
With phone calls your ex CAN hear your voice but she can’t see your face so the way you say the memory you pick is important. Well, with in person encounters your ex can hear AND see you so the way you sound and look when you say the memory are important.
You still want to use the same script as above when you bring up the memory but you need to make sure you are smiling while you say it and it has to be a legitimate smile none of that fake stuff. All of that was meant to highlight the fact that it is more costly for a woman to waste time on a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. Thus, if she puts you in this category (as a time waster) you have quite a bit of headwind to overcome. Well, I am married to one and I will never forget what my wife told me the very first day we met each other. Yes, she seriously said that to me and it definitely highlighted the fact that she was looking for something serious. My wife is a one in a million woman who actually had the guts to be honest with me with what she wanted.
If indeed your ex thinks your relationship wasn’t going anywhere then the main way to overcome that objection is to prove to her that you are ready to commit. Alright, now that I have that warning out of the way how do you overcome your exes objections by proving to her that you are ready to commit in a subtle way? I am just going to talk about my favorite way which also happens to be through text messages.

There are some clever ways that you can hit on the fact that you are now ready for a deeper commitment with your ex girlfriend.
The two main points you want to hit on are the marriage and children but again, you have to do this in a very subtle manner. If you highlight the fact that you think marriage is a positive institution (in a very subtle way) with enough text messages then you will without a doubt make your ex realize that you are open to the idea of marriage and commitment.
Without a doubt one of the hardest fears that you are going to have to overcome is your ex girlfriends fear that the spark between you isn’t there anymore.
I mean, would you take a chance on someone who you didn’t have feelings for or someone you know you didn’t have a spark with? The thing that you have to keep in mind here is the fact that at one point you did have a spark with her and that spark was so powerful that she was willing to take a chance on a relationship with you. Well, the first thing you are going to need is a date with her and there are a certain set of rules that you are going to have to implement if you want that date. You have to get her excited about the future, being with you or just how she feels about you in general.
Well, I am an all or nothing kind of guy so what I am about to say here may be a little unorthodox but I would rather go down swinging if I was you than playing it safe.
For example, take her on a hot air balloon ride, on a roller coaster or any other exciting things you can think of off the top of your head. The idea is that the more adrenaline she has the more she will look at you in a positive light. Now, I can’t remember the exact psychological principle but apparantely if you take someone you like out on an exciting date that ramps up her adrenaline she will mirror her feelings and place them in you. It makes sense that she would be more attracted to you, who takes her on a super romantic and exciting date. Now, the thing you have to remember is that getting the date is just as important as what you do on the date. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
I am coming out with another article about how to ask her on another date that I think would be great for you.
A couple of days ago she sent me messages of old pictures of funny things we did together and even took a picture of a nice note that I wrote to her before she went to work one day and sent it to me. We ended up talking on the phone after that and she told me that even if we got back together, she wasn’t sure if either of us could look past some of the things that had happened and have a good relationship.
Having any kind of relationship with an ex is complicated – really, really complicated.
Whether you want your ex back or never want to see him again, it can be hard to bite your tongue to keep yourself from saying the things you really want to say. Maybe he just broke up with you and you’re desperately trying to hold onto something.
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We all get dumped now and then, but the main difference is how we deal with it, and how we get back on our feet after a break up.
Ita€™s not easy being helpful in these tricky situations, because we all act different when we are hurt.
If she really cared about her ex, she will need time to be sad, cry, or even be really mad at him. So, go with the flow, listen to her and be prepared to comfort her when the waves of crushing tears come. So ita€™s important to let your friend keep something to remind her of a part of life that she had and that is finished. The point is in knowing your friend and giving her what she needs, but making sure that she sees the future as bright as you do. Being in your twenties may seem like the golden years as a teen, but your mid-twenties are far lessa€¦pleasing.
Yes, some men are masters at making women drool over them but the average man out there still struggles with getting a girlfriend.
For example, lets say that in your relationship with your ex girlfriend you ended up cheating on her. Then the next day another man comments on this article and cites his cheating as a reason for the breakup with his girlfriend.
In fact, I have had some women tell me that this has been a reason for their breakup from a man. No, I am talking about the type of arguments where you are screaming at each other with no regard.
Of course, just like a fire in order to keep a fire going you have to make sure you add more firewood to make sure it keeps burning bright.
The idea here while doing this over the phone is that you jog her memory of a really happy time.
While your ex girlfriend may not initially let on that she his coming to this conclusion she will subconsciously file it away. So, it’s common sense that if you had a spark in the past with her that you can get history to repeat itself. I just thought I would ask for some personal advice, I have been broken up with my Ex for 6 months we I did the no contact and we just recently met up for coffee to exchange our things. Our first conversation in over a month consisted of her talking about good memories and how much she liked them. So last night she told me through texts that the reason she sent those messages to me was because she thought we were on the same page and would be able to talk about old memories. There are so many emotions swirling around that even just talking to your ex can quickly turn into a messy, dramatic situation.
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Ita€™s always easier with a friend holding your hand, but what to do when you are the friend that is supposed to be the support? It might not be that dramatic, but if it doesna€™t come soon, you should consider that she maybe didna€™t like him that much. The one time I did it, I regretted it so much that I called him, and asked for something of his to keep as a memory. It takes time to cry, it takes time to clean up the mess and rearrange your house or flat, and this period varies from person to person. Dona€™t let her fall for too long, you might not be able to bring her on the right path after that. So, when you finally do get a woman to commit to you it can be very disheartening to have to try to get her to re-commit to you again assuming the two of you broke up. Well, going forward one of the reasons she would not want to commit to you or try to have another relationship with you would probably be because she would be very frightened that you would cheat on her again.
For example, the first man that comments on this article is going to have a different reason for his breakup with his ex than the second man who comments on this article.
This combination caused us to start to bicker which eventually turned into full blown arguments. You are going to have to PROVE to her that not only can you re-ignite this relationship but you can keep it going. Now, one thing that I doubt any of the experts out there are going to tell you is that when you do this she may get quiet. We had a class together, clicked instantly, become close, and after about 6mo of being great friends, feelings started to show his face.
I have recently made it through 30 days of NC and received some messages from my ex sporadically through out that time.
I felt like this was a step in the right direction but then I found out that the same night we had this conversation, she was out with a guy that she had been going on dates with since our breakup.
She said she didn’t mean to give me the wrong impression and that she only wanted to be friends right now. There's also our own video series like How To Deal with Meg Haston with expert advice for teens, Do It, Gurl with craft ideas, do it yourself projects, and easy how tos for teen girls, and Sexy Times With Gurl that offers relationship help and sex ed videos for teen girls.
We're basically like your sex ed class but with way more information, honesty, help, and first hand advice. We also have free online games for teen girls and design a dress, design a boy, and other fashion games. Here are a few ideas that could help you make your friend feel better after getting dumped.
You should expect a moment, or two, of weakness and be there to cry with her, or just hold her.
Some of us need days, some need months, and thata€™s why ita€™s important to have a friend through a break up.A Someone who will be able to give you enough time to heal and deal with it, but not let you become a sponge or a plant.
I asked what was going on, she got scared, we didnt talk for a while and this past summer, our relationship intensified. I know I’m young (or better said we both are young) but I really wanted her to really want me. She basically broke down and ended up telling me all of these issues that she had with our relationship.
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Still, here are some things that can remind you how to keep your friend focused on the future. You will need to tell her that everything is going to be ok, and when you say it, you have to believe in it. I laughed at myself and since then, I always keep one dear thing to remind me of a relationship. That I never said I loved her, that I didn’t want ever want a family, that I always made her feel clingy and like she needed to beg for affection, that we fought too much and I treated her poorly at times. Because, even if he hurt me bad, cheated or whatever, that was a period in my life that meant something.
During this time, i have joined a gym, keeping myself in shape and focusing on my job and family life right now. We are in the same circle of friends, so she ended up being our ride home from a concert that she already planned on picking us up at.
I know shes scared, and I dont want to push, but shes still texting and snapchatting me and Id like to take the chance with this relationship or move on.
That whole night, she showed me how much she missed being around me and we ended up showing affection towards each other like we always do.
The only crappy part is that when she isnt scared and when her walls arent up, we have the most amazing times together.
This time it felt a little different since i put my foot down and showed i wanted to distance myself.
I know this sort of interfered with NC, but this took it to a little bit of a different level at this time.
Now its like, the no contact period is successfully over and she apologized me for whatever she did, but still we haven’t been committed again. Now I have started talking to her again but she doesn’t respond as quickly as she used to do, before.
I still shed my positive light by saying encouraging words and saying she knows what she has to do, she just has to do it and follow through when it comes to things she cares about.

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Comments »

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