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admin | Getting An Ex Back | 25.11.2015
The problem with unrequited love — well, one of the problems — is that our holding onto it essentially renders us non-contenders in pursuit of the real thing. When we love, we love in broad, all-consuming strokes, filling the space between the dotted lines so completely that we unknowingly present ourselves as a whole image, regardless of all we know to be missing. Love will never be solved, worked out, fully understood — there is no secret angle, key or elusive password leading to a definitive answer. To move on from an experience we subconsciously require an ending point, a marker, some form of memorialization. At first, all wounds hurt, but then they scab, and the scabs heal, and soon, there is new skin. We need to understand this in order to overcome it; learn to respect the power of our emotions as infinitely beautiful, special and unique to our human experience.
In fact, I suspect a man on his deathbed, with an entire lifetime of experience and worldly insight, would consider love with as much understanding as my 8 year-old cousin might contemplate a schoolyard crush.


Too often we attempt to move on by shifting our feelings onto another person, transferring our emotional baggage into a new basket with the hope that it’ll hold. And for a feeling to be memorialized, we must first give it a chance to live, breathe and be appreciated for what it truly is.
With time, you’ll stop noticing the ache because the ache will not be there any more. The problem with this approach is that we essentially leave a long, broken trail of loose ends, scattered unforgivingly behind us.
Stick it on your bathroom mirror, look at it every night as you brush your teeth, see the reality for what it is; let it grow old and wither — like a polaroid photograph fading under the unforgiving midday sun. Unrequited love will always be painful, but with the necessary time, respect, and understanding, your heart will soon become available once more. Nobody else has their criteria for perfection lie so surely on the dip of this lower back, the crinkle of this smile, the gap between these teeth.


We love and therefore, we want — and the subject of our affection will either love and want us in return, or they won’t. Love is non-transferable, non-refundable, and unavoidable; you must walk through it, not around it.
You’ll pass it every morning until it one day slips to the floor, while your at work or in the shower, and becomes nothing more than another simple, fluorescent piece of paper. Your bond, while emotionally unrewarding in its non-reciprocation, is as strong a connection as anything that’s existed before you. Forego any feelings of resentment or floundering self-worth, for it pays you — and your heart — no service.



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