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admin | Getting An Ex Back | 27.01.2016
I realized how much technology is changing the dynamics of our relationships, it is changing how we treat people and the value we place on conversations and ultimately relationships.
It is, however, important to make the distinction that it is not an inherent quality within that form of communication that is leading us down this path, technology can be used without its detrimental effects. Technology is creating a generation of people who are both afraid of loneliness and of intimacy. We turn to technology because of anxiety from feeling alone and unconnected, but technology feeds another form of anxiety.
Becoming comfortable with loneliness means we can enter relationships for the right reasons. It’s a cliche to say that men are selfish pigs, but there seems to be a lot of truth to that statement.
The upshot of all that is simply that I love my wife for who she is and not what figure she has. This entry was posted in Rants and tagged obesity, relationships, Shallow People, surveys by Les.
My grandmother was a wonderful person; she and my grandfather came to live with me and my father when my mother died when I was two. Women can be just a wrong headed about weight and it’s overall importance in our lives. Another is the same age as me (26) but after having two kids she could genuinely pass as a 52 year old grandmother. However, you seem to be implying that it is common that a guy could be attracted to a woman but will reject her because she doesn’t fit a picture in his head of the ideal woman.
However, you seem to be implying that it is common that a guy could be attracted to a woman but will reject her because she doesn’t fit a picture in his head of the ideal woman. I know a lot of us are rather shallow when it comes to picking mates but I think a huge part of that is programmed into us our whole lives by almost every thing we see. So i somehow feel that i am a useless piece of crap that doesnt deserve to be love or spoiled by my own husband and it has driven me to hate myself for being a woman. I remember a time when I always wanted to be "connected" to the world, to be talking to people, to be around people.
I think it is important for us to understand what the problem is, to understand our role in facilitating it, and how we can make changes to live an emotionally healthy life that fosters self-awareness and opportunities to build genuine relationships. Our ability to edit ourselves increases our desire to be perceived by others a certain way. As Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali said, "a person may at lesser levels love self, or others as they serve self.
All but one of them was broken off by my partner at the time for various reasons that all roughly boil down to my being an immature asshole who didn’t really know what a loving relationship really was. Any concerns I have about the shape of her body is strictly for reasons of health rather than aesthetics, and it’s a concern I hold for myself.
I wasn’t exactly tiny when we met (about 145)and when I had my son I shot up to 190+lbs and have stayed there through my pregnancy with my daughter.

One of the ways to fight the stereotypes and let others know it is ok not to think like the media tells us we should think. She only wanted the best for me, but she chose to articulate that in a bad way (for me, at least).
And since they are our mothers and grandmothers, they can wield a lot of power over us girls.
I was 95kgs at the end of my pregnancy YET i am about 175cm tall so, nearly 5months later i got down to 75kgs which was reasonably normal looking yet not the 65-60 kgs i really wanted to be but i didnt try because i felt like my husband never gave a crap about me anyway so i gave up, i thought he makes me feel so unloved now, i cannot find the inspiration to lose weight and he never wants to do anything with me. Preferably a marriage counselor if you can convince your husband to participate, but if not then someone you can talk to about the resentment and anger you’re feeling. We turn to technology in those moments of loneliness, those moments when we feel that we need human contact. For us to foster healthy relationships, it requires us to become comfortable with loneliness. And until we begin to love our own company, we can't genuinely love others for who they are. This included at least one person to whom I was engaged for a year because I thought she was The One. After having had so many relationships that didn’t work out I went into the one with her with a very different and relaxed attitude. I’d like us both to be thinner purely for the health benefits it would bring, but my love for her is not dependent on her having a slim build. Now I hover between 180 and 190 now as all that baby weight just doesn’t want to move. For all the talk on how damaging the media portrayal is on women, it is just as damaging for men.
She was a tiny person (5 foot and never more than 100 lbs except when pregnant), and I guess I seemed too big for her comfort. I checked up on her a few years later and immediately after having 2 kids she went from 170lbs to over 240lbs and has stayed there for the last 5 years. Most of the time it was the woman realizing I wasn’t quite ready for prime time and deciding to cut her losses.
It seems to me that fat women, particularly those who have always had weight issues, instead of spending all their time trying to match an almost impossible image grow personalities instead. I’ve had endless years of wolf whistles, men proclaiming to love me, empty ridiculous, abusive and painful relationships that were draining, bad for health and children, my work and killed my financials. Technology is putting us in a place where we are not "alone enough" for quiet contemplation, not "alone enough" to learn about ourselves, yet it is providing us with the illusion of being connected, of feeling the presence of others in our lives. We turn to technology because that feeling gives us anxiety, makes us sad, and makes us feel alone. We begin to reinforce the subconscious belief that who we are is a product of what others think of us. If we are connecting with people to get rid of our loneliness, we are using those people for selfish reasons.

I don’t regret any of those past relationships because each one helped me to grow into a better person for the next one that came along.
At first I wasn’t sure if I was in love or not because it was a very different feel than the past relationships.
My husband is 160lbs roughly but very thin and muscular from his martial arts and sports training. I picked it only because I know a lot of guys would look at the woman in that pic and think she was too fat. We become willing to leave when things are difficult, we are willing to turn away our attention when we become anxious. This feeling causes social anxiety, it makes us feel uneasy, and often it makes us feel cornered during conversation.
Loving our own company means facing our demons, facing our insecurities, facing the anxiety, the moments of sadness and longing for human contact. Well, I do regret that it took so long for me to get my shit together because I’ve had the pleasure of being involved with some truly wonderful women over the years and I feel slightly bad about inflicting my (at the time) stupidly immature self upon them. We never go anywhere together and it is totally destroying myself worth because i feel like i’m not good enough, but only good enough to clean the kitchen, wash the clothes, take care of our kid. Theres a bottomless pit of men who’ll lie, cheat, manipulate and con you into bed who have no idea what it takes to make a great relationship, nor the character and maturity to entice me into one. So when that void created by loneliness is presumed to be filled, we are still left with a feeling of being connected but being apart.
We become afraid and unwilling to continue when we encounter what is perceived as lack of control. If we attempt to build relationships simply out of the desire to love others, our love for others is the source of our happiness. When we don't know what to say, when we don't know how to respond, we become afraid, we become terrified, we become anxious.
I’m done spoiling these pathetic excuses for men when theyre selfish, cruel, immature and pretty much full of it. How others respond to that love, the difficulties and hurdles that come in our way have no bearing on that feeling. There’s a plethoria of great women out there of all ages and sizes and styles and i really feel the males of the species have been truelly not worth the investment. It’s not just the way they behave with their women, theyre conduct of being good fathers is pretty worthless too.

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