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admin | How To Get My Girl Back | 25.09.2014
Khloe Kardashian dumped him in front of everybody to care for the recovering Lamar Odom, but James Harden doesn’t seem too broken up about it. The 26-year-old NBA player showed he is looking way ahead in a video posted to his Instagram page on Wednesday – the same day Khloe halted divorce proceedings against her estranged husband.
Khloe flew to Lamar’s side at hospital last week after he was found unresponsive and unconscious at a Nevada brothel.
James, meanwhile, had given Khloe the breathing room she needs to get through the current crisis. Daily featured news and entertainment from Nigeria, Africa and worldwide from a Nigerian view pointFollow us on Social Media, Bookmark this page.
Personally at the moment I am not sleeping with my husband as I feel estranged from him due to porn abuse, his alarm waking me up in the morning because he ‘snoozes’ it for an hour and he snores which drives me crazy so I don’t sleep, get tired and irritable and this exacerbates an already fragile situation, so I’ve removed myself to the spare room and far from missing sleeping next to my husband I now don’t want to go back to sharing a bed (if things improve between us) as I love having my own space and a good night’s sleep. I used to love sleeping together as I found it a special thing that you only do when you’re married and share that really special space and time together so I feel very conflicted now.
I was shocked a while ago to learn that my in-laws have separate rooms and I was really sad for them but maybe this is normal? And finally, I was talking to a married friend with 2 young children, her husband sleeps in their spare room as her children often end up sharing the bed with her so she can feed them so they don’t cry and wake her husband up in the night. Okay, let’s try to flesh this out a little bit.Why is the couple sleeping in separate rooms?Sometimes you really don’t have a choice.

When [happy couples] are in a season of being at odds with each other–when they are experiencing friction or hurt feelings–they solve it by spending more time together instead of less… When we have hurt feelings, anger, or discord, the last thing we may want is to be with our spouses. On Wednesday morning, her lawyer Laura Wasser went to court and asked the judge to withdraw the papers that would end the couple’s marriage.
If one spouse snores a ton and keeps the other awake (or causes them not to sleep well), then for health reasons they may need to sleep in separate beds.
When you’re hurt, your instinct is to retreat–to head to that separate bedroom where you can be alone with your thoughts and pour out your brokenheartedness to God and nurse your hurts. When my husband was on call and would repeatedly be paged at night and have to make phone calls, we sometimes would sleep in separate rooms on those nights so that he didn’t disturb me.I’ve written before on couples sleeping in separate beds when the issue is something like that–along with some thoughts on how to maintain intimacy even if you have to part at night.
What helps is if you still act like a team–act like two people who believe, “we will get through this–together.”Be careful of letting children kick one of you to a different bedroomI see this pattern so often in marriage. Both of you are sleep deprived, and you think, “at least he should be able to get some sleep. We’ve already talked last week about how hormones when you’re nursing often cause many of us to lose our libidos. Then is it okay to separate?I’d say yes if he is unrepentant and unwilling to get help or accountability (but I’d also say that you should take further steps to mend the situation, by talking to a counselor, having an intervention, or drawing very clear boundaries.
And so we push our husbands away, devote ourselves entirely to the babies, because we figure, “he’ll still be here later.

You can see more about that in this post on not being an enabler of sin in your marriage.What if he’s trying to stop the porn, he does have accountability–and you’re still hurt.
But be careful of continuing that separation.This month we’re talking about good marriage habits as part of our Ultimate Marriage Reading Challenge, and I’ve asked you all to read The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. If you don’t put in the work, you and your husband will drift.You need time alone to be intimate–and that usually means the same bedroomAnd I don’t mean just sex when I say intimate. I mean having him kiss you goodbye if he leaves in the morning while you’re still asleep (or if you leave).If you start sleeping in separate beds because of convenience, it’s easy to stay there. And we don’t always realize what we’re missing until months or years have gone by and we’re just not as close anymore.So as I said, sometimes a separate bedroom is necessary because of physical difficulties sleeping together. How did you stay close?The post Reader Question: Sleeping in Separate Rooms When Married appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.

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