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admin | Getting An Ex Back | 27.11.2015
As a woman in her thirties I have realized that I haven’t got a clue on how to make friends.
All through High School my friends were the girls I danced with and it wasn’t until we all separated for college that I got that first bitter taste of how hard it is to make new friends. In my not so scientific research, the answer I kept coming across confirmed that having activities in common such as work, hobbies, places one frequents and having people in common are all valid ways of making friends.
I am up for the challenge though, so if you are already my friend and start hearing from me more often, do not be alarmed. But the transition between friendship & dating is what seems to put fear into everyone and often perceived as having a very thin line, undefined or gray area.
The concept was pointed out to me by my Uncle some years ago (whom I consider a genius in the science world) where he believed it’s impossible at some point down the line to maintain nothing but a friendship type of relation. But I frequently run into situations where the opposite sex’s body language in a social gathering shows signs of discomfort in a casual one-and-one conversation setting where the objective is not dating.
New mommy by day, Blogger when she can steal a moment, Flamenco dancer by night, and always documenting the 30-something experience. Note: All posts, essays and stories belong to, and are written by Wendy Castellanos-Wolf unless a by line indicates otherwise.
Unauthorized use or duplication of this material without the consent of the author is prohibited.
Young people who move to Philadelphia sometimes ask me how to get better connected in Philadelphia.


Attend Young Involved Philadelphia events — The group is a great hub of smart, hungry, young Philadelphians. Join the Philadelphia Sports Network or another recreational sports league — These groups are great at bringing people together around sports, and most cities have something like them. Join your neighborhood civic or block group — Most neighborhoods that are attracting new Philadelphians have active community groups that improving the city and connecting the civic minded. Find an online community that fits your interest — Whether it be sports or technology or drinking or your part of the city, someone is probably writing and hosting events that will attract people like you. Volunteer — Find a nonprofit, political group or mission group that has value to you. While attending your college courses strike up a conversation with other students in your class.
Lastly, meet other Au Pairs from all over the country by interacting with the Au Pair Sis and by joining the corners on Facebook! Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, but I have made very few new friends in about 10 years which brings about the question, how do adults make friends? I find it frustrating in the culture here (the US), a little easier on the west coast but almost impossible on the east coast. Excerpts or links are permitted as long as credit is given to Wendy Castellanos-Wolf with direction to the original content. If not, find a museum, advocacy group or another institution that has a young friends group or something else.


I had to learn how to be comfortable in my solitude and while it has been an amazing skill to have acquired early on in my adult life, it definitely did not aid in my quest for new friends. I personally greatly appreciate their friendship in our lives (as men) since it almost always diversifies our life experiences with their point of view on various subjects. Fun was the objective, plans were made by either knocking on the neighbor’s door and asking if so and so could come out to play, or in my case, by screaming “Ju-hee! Now a days if I want to meet with a friend, we call, text, email or facebook , compare calendars and make plans that will take place in the future. It’s nice to have social activities to look forward to, but sometimes I just want to have fun now. As a woman in her thirties I had the sudden realization that the only friends I have were made in college and apparently I’m a freak because this is rare.
Most people move away or move on and perhaps keep in touch with only a select few from their formative years.



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