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admin | How To Get Your Guy Back | 31.08.2014
In some of your blogs, I read that you helped your wife get out of something like $40K of debt. With this much debt, and no immediate hope of paying it off, not to mention having lost the house in the divorce, I am worried that I will be too much of a financial burden for someone to take on. Seriously, Jodee, you are some sort of superwoman, and God knows, you can’t keep a superwoman down. You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control your reactions to it, as well as how you bounce back from it.
You know as well as I do that you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control your reactions to it, as well as how you bounce back from it.
You have been told – and you believe – that your value comes in love, kindness, generosity, loyalty, attraction, intelligence, and being a great mother. Your debt is certainly not going to be a selling point, there’s also no reason for you to mention it to a man you’re dating.
While your debt is certainly not going to be a selling point, there’s also no reason for you to mention it to a man you’re dating. Over time, you’ll become indispensable to your boyfriend and you can do the exact same thing my wife did, 9 months into our relationship: reveal the truth and why you held back on it. I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address.
I’d like to chime in and say men for the most part are very superficial creatures we date and have relationships with what we find physically attractive.
In the somewhat older divorced crowd, many individuals are in varying financial conditions, generally through no fault of their own…both men and women. The man that is my boyfriend now has a very high income, but the worst alimony situation I’ve ever heard of. My own net worth is quite high, my income and career prospects are good,  I have a pension due in the future and well funded retirement accounts, and an inheritance likely coming as well. The point is that there are definitely people out there who will not have an issue with the credit card debt, and who are not gold digging.


The fact that you have decided to deal responsibly with this debt and be an amazing mother to your children speaks volumes, the right guy will accept that you have debt and realize that even though you might not have enough money to go on glamorous dates or buy him a big present for his birthday, that this situation is only temporary. Focusing on the finances, it might seem an almost insurmountable amount of money now, but you would be surprised how quickly you will be able to pay it down once you have a good plan in place. I agree with Karmic, talks about finances are best left when you are far further down the road. I once dated a guy who, on his initiative NOT mine, started to talk about finances on the fifth date. I would have a problem if after 9 months of dating, a bf would reveal that he has $40k in credit card debt.
I just came out of a 6 months long relationship where a man first had In his profile that he was making $ 100-150k a year.
Based on this logic I should make a profile where I look 20 years younger, don’t have kids, and just inherited 50 million dollars.
Women just need to be physically attractive to get a first date, whereas men need to meet additional criteria (height, income, education) to be considered for a first date. So, as a woman in OLD, your best bet to get dates is to make sure your profile pictures are flattering. A man, OTOH, has to be good looking, with pictures of him without sunglasses and baseball caps and not in a bathroom or laying down, with a well-written, spell-checked profile before women will consider responding to any of his messages. Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.
If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life! My ex-husband has left me debt-ridden, about $40K, and although I have a good paying career, there are not many jobs right now. When you’re done with your confession, what you’ll get in return is a man who appreciates your self-sufficiency and your desire to shield him from this. I would far rather go out with a guy who is in debt and has all your amazing qualities than a man who is comfortably off but is not present to the important people in his life.


Speaking as someone who nearly had a heart attack when i mounted up my different debts this past Easter and realized it was in the five figures rather than four.
During the dating I found out the he makes about $3k a month with $2k going  to support his college age child who refuses to get a job, large debt to irs, and over $100k in credit card debt. But bc I found out after 6 months watching his large spending habits, and driving expensive borrowed cars I am thinking that the reason why he has so much debt is his own making and that he is looking for a woman to use and I don’t want to be used.
You’d get plenty of first dates by just using a beautiful pic of someone (not necessarily of yourself. Plus I am raising my children still, 11 and 13, and have home-schooled them for many years.
They say that what I have to give, love, kindness, generosity, loyalty, good looks, intelligence, wonderful mother, are what will matter most. Furthermore, you’ll probably inspire him to paying for everything – meals, trips, movies – just like I did with my wife while she pulled herself out of debt. I made a deal with the bank and they just sent me a letter of congrats on the full repayment on my first (and most substantial) debt.
We then proceeded to go Dutch on the dinner, only for him to say that as he did not have enough money in his wallet I could make up for the difference by paying the rest of his half of the bill. I felt like he lied to me and felt like he was trying to trick me into falling in love with him. So, the most important thing for a woman looking for a relationship in OLD is to make sure her online pics are flattering. If you’re attractive and your profile is FUN and well written, then men think they hit the jackpot.
What is the best way for me to think about my situation and present it to a possible suitor.



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