No contact rule if you want your ex back download,how to get your ex back in 8th grade,how to find a nice wife - How to DIY

admin | Want My Ex Back | 08.09.2013
In the end, I subscribe to the theory that in order for me to best help you get your ex boyfriend back you need to see the entire picture and that is what I am doing here with this guide, helping you see the parts of the picture you are missing. The no contact rule without a doubt is the most successful strategy that you can use to get your ex boyfriend back. Well, I recently did my very own independent study where I took a look at what the women who have come to EBR and successfully won their exes back were doing and 72% of them had utilized the no contact rule.
Here’s the thing though, most people who try the no contact rule end up failing.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
My vision was that you could use this book to serve as your safety net as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the no contact rule.
Every single day I carve out an hour or two to answer comments and questions from the readers of this site.
It’s funny to me though that so many women fail at something SO CRUCIAL to get their ex boyfriends back. While I admit there are many constants in the concerns above the correct answer I am looking for lies in a simple truth. Therein lies the foundation on which this guide was built, helping you to better understand what goes on in your exes mind so YOU can succeed with the no contact rule! To be more specific, I am going to be talking about how a man can possibly react (and what he will think) when a woman implements a no contact rule on him. When it comes to the no contact rule I have found that there are 7 main reactions and thoughts that men will have. What kind of emotional “aftertaste” do you think your ex boyfriend was left with after the two of you broke up?
Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule. You are going to play my ex girlfriend (who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me.) Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. Of course, every time I send a message that you don’t respond to I am leaving myself vulnerable.
Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically.
Frantic Caller Turned Ignorer- A man who will frantically call after NC but will get so angry that you are ignoring him that he won’t call you again. Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response.
I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. I can’t tell you how often I hear women say this to me when they talk about their ex. The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period. It is your greatest fear after all, having an ex NOT contact you at all during a no contact period. Me having that thought about you is probably your greatest fear when it comes to getting me back. I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule. Yes, you read that right THEY are going to feel like the victim even though in the grand scheme of things they aren’t one. The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule. I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life.
Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. Men who tend to be clueless are ones that don’t have a lot of experience in relationships. You see, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them. For example, during the NC period a clueless guy will not sense that anything is wrong at all. So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. Here is the problem though, without the no contact rule you really don’t have any chance to acquire the logical mindset you need. The Scared Guy- This is a reaction that is the exact opposite of someone who frantically calls or texts. If YOU broke up with me and implemented a no contact rule then I would definitely be afraid to contact you because of the fear of rejection. If you know for a fact that your ex boyfriend is afraid to contact you then shouldn’t you just break the NC and reach out to him first?
If you contact him first during no contact he is probably going to revert to the stubborn mindset of “oh ya! As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down.
Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot.
The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide. Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction.
You see, with the stubborn guy reaction I won’t contact you during NC but deep down I will still want to hear from you.
Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly.
So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction? 418How Long Will It Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?1979How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Is In A Rebound Relationship. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. Just over a day later he texted from the airport (another work trip) to say he loved me and to take care.
My BF told me last month out of the blue that he want to break up but also he said we meet again after one month and half since he will come back from his traveling and we talk again. Ever since the creation of this site there has been one strategy that it has been associated with it above all others. You know, that pesky little rule that forces you to ignore your ex boyfriend on purpose for a certain amount of time with the hope that he will miss you and you can be that much further along with your plans to win him back.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? I must admit that while I get a lot of association with the no contact rule I am not the one who initially came up with the idea but if I ever do meet the person who came up with it I would shake their hand.
Because I have seen the power of the no contact rule (if it is implemented correctly) firsthand and it is POWERFUL! And these are just a small handful of the women who have gotten back in touch with me after they got their exes back (using NC.) I literally have HUNDREDS of stories just like this saved to my iMac.
Anyways, I don’t think there is any doubt about the fact that the no contact rule does work when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you always need to have a contingency plan. This page is going to be very long because I am going to be tackling things in an in-depth manner (like always) but at the same time I am going to make sure that this page is going to be very easy to digest because what we are talking about here is very advanced stuff. That means that if your ex boyfriend were to call you, text you, Facebook message you or contact you in any other way, shape or form you would flat out ignore him. Now that you have a brief idea of what the no contact rule is lets move on to talking about how we measure a failed no contact period.
Now, maybe old age is starting to catch up to me (which at 25 would be kind of pathetic) but I can’t think of anything outside of those two reasons. Luckily, the two reasons I gave above are all we need to really have an in-depth discussion.
Pretty much the whole reason women get excited about the no contact rule is the fact that it has the power to potentially make their ex boyfriends miss them so much that they will want to come back to them on the spot once the period of time is up. While it almost never works out that way (NEWFLASH you have to do more than just no contact to win your ex back) it can be very saddening when you don’t even receive a response from your ex after no contact. Most women are under the impression that if their ex boyfriends do not message them during the no contact rule it means that NC is not working.
Because, in order for you to even have a chance to win your ex boyfriend back you have to communicate with him.
That is the situation you are in if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you after the no contact rule is complete.
I recently went through the comments here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and compiled a list of the first 20 women I could find who implemented the no contact rule on their exes. That means that 17 out of 20 women had successful no contact periods while the other 3 women didn’t. This means that there is an 85% chance that you will have a successful no contact rule in which your ex boyfriend gets back in touch with you. I gave you ironclad instructions to NOT contact your ex under any circumstances (except the ones here) and you disobeyed my orders. A woman breaking no contact early because she either misses her ex or he calls her during the no contact rule is without a doubt the most common mistake I see on Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Of course, after further investigation I find out that she really didn’t do the no contact rule right as she broke it 3 days in after he messaged her on Facebook and she would sporadically break the no contact rule throughout the 30 days. You see, this woman was under the impression that the no contact rule meant that she could respond to him only if he contacted her first.
Notice how the NC period starts on the left of the line and then as time goes by it ends on the right of the line. Because, instead of giving your ex boyfriend time to reminisce and miss you, you are signifying to him with your actions (of interrupting NC) that you are still into him and as a result he isn’t going to respond the way you want him to after the no contact rule. The point I am trying to get at here is you have to be disciplined when it comes to the no contact rule. Of course, I created this page for women who are in a worst case scenario situation in which the no contact rule doesn’t work.
So, lets move on to the exciting part of this article, figuring out what to do if things aren’t going your way after the no contact rule. Lets assume that you are in a worst case scenario where your no contact rule has just failed. Then at day 31 (the day after day 30) you send a text message to your ex boyfriend and he doesn’t respond.
Luckily for you I have come up with 5 strategies on how to approach a failed no contact rule. If you go back and read my original thoughts that I had on the no contact rule years ago here what do I recommend that you do if you mess it up? Mess It Up= breaking it prematurely by messaging your ex boyfriend in any way shape or form outside of the allowed instances. It means that if you determined that you were going to use a 30 day no contact rule and on day 12 you broke that no contact rule then you have to restart the 30 days from that point on.
We are assuming a worst case scenario so that means that no only did you break the no contact rule (and not start over from square one) but you also reached out to your ex boyfriend AFTER no contact was over and he ignored you. Rather than taking a step back and re-evaluating the situation they continue to text their ex or call him. This comes off as desperate and will have the opposite effect of what we are trying to accomplish here. So, what I have been recommending to women lately (with great success) is a staggered approach to the no contact rule.
Lets say that you have contacted your ex boyfriend after your failed no contact rule and he has ignored you.
Well, rather than messaging him again the next day I would say jump back into no contact for a week and try again.
If you fail at getting his attention again after a week then go back into no contact for 2 weeks. Well, lets imagine that you have completed the no contact rule and not gotten a response from your ex. Simple, you are going to continued the staggered approach and go back into the no contact rule for three weeks. Initially I talk about how I recommend a 30 day no contact rule for women who are trying to get their ex boyfriends back.
Now, I am not some sort of math wiz but by my count if you reach weeks using this approach 6 weeks will have already passed. In that case (and only in that case) it may be time to admit defeat and focus your energies in recovering from the relationship. Well, breaking the sacred bond of no contact like this pretty much defeats the entire purpose. The Purpose- To use silence to make your ex boyfriend realize what he is missing out on and to kick start his feelings for you.
So, rather than trying a staggered approach to the no contact rule (which is heavily focused on trying to get your ex boyfriend to respond to you) the prolonged approach is geared towards making him miss you.
While it is true that there are no contact rules that can be extended for up to 90 days I am not a fan of those type of prolonged periods. I have found that there is a correlation between moving on and a super prolonged period of no contact. 45 days is a perfect prolonged period because it gives your ex boyfriend time to miss you and at the same time not enough time has gone by for him to lose feelings in you yet. Know that I have a very specific way that I like to teach women to reach out to their ex boyfriends after no contact.
Look, I understand the temptation of not sending a good first contact text message after ignoring your ex boyfriend. However, you have to keep in mind that if you used the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend you just ignored him (on purpose) for hopefully 30 days. So, what I would like to do now is teach you my method for getting in touch with an ex boyfriend after the no contact rule.
This is a small little screenshot of one tiny aspect of a redesign that Ex Boyfriend Recovery is going through. This is the kind of effect your first contact text message needs to have on your ex boyfriend.
He will see it and be so intrigued by it that he will have to respond to your text message just to find out what you are going on about.
If we dated in the past and you texted this to me after ignoring me for 30 days I would respond to it. I am intrigued by the fact that you ignored me for that long and are reaching out to me for the first time. I can’t tell you how many times I have stumbled across a situation just like the one described above through this site.
Men have this funny tendency to come back into the picture after women have moved on already. Well, I don’t have exact statistics on this or anything but what I do have is a theory. Well, instead of tinkering with the no contact rule what if you took the exact opposite approach and moved on without moving on. Move on without moving on is an idea I came up with that basically leverages my theory above.
Now, before I move on to our final strategy I will admit that this particular strategy is a bit riskier than the others. Hi hope this reaches you, I can’t find a situation like mine basically am pregnant (planned pregnancy witch we both planned) anyway before I found out we had a small fall out witch ended in us braking up and with in a day he was dating someone else. April 27, 2016 at 2:21 amYangki, I’m new to your site and your approach makes so much sense to me. Before I go into the details of her situation I do want to say that often times I have no idea on whose question I am going to answer for the podcast. Other times I listen to each one very carefully one by one and pick out the situation that I think people would want to hear about the most. There was a lot of emotion in it and you could tell, just by listening that she wanted her ex boyfriend back. Welcome to the ex-boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve!
I asked him originally if when he got home, if I can have a month or so to work it out and not to give up on us. Hey, I wanted to take a moment and thank you Morgan for having the courage to tell your story.
Today’s episode features a woman named Morgan who has a bit of a problem with her ex.
But, so basically what this men could do to get their exes back as soon as possible and kind of the game plan I came up with, shortened the strategy that I teach on both website significantly but still the shortest strategy was 30 days.
Even as great as my advice may be and as many success stories as I have had over the last several years that I’ve been running these websites, even I can’t guarantee. Now, with that being said, if you’re willing to take a long approach, if you’re willing to accept, “Okay, I’m probably not going to get him back by 6 pm today but it doesn’t mean I’m out of the game.
Now, that post a serious issue because one, she would never take me seriously as a suitor because I live in Texas and Pennsylvania is pretty much like 1700 miles away. So, I pretty much would be there alone the entire time and all we had was a desk with my computer on it to work and a TV and I remember literally just staring at the clock hoping it would be 5 pm or 6 pm and she would come home because it was sort of like being in jail for a little bit because I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I think just maybe, at his age, because he’s a lot younger than I was, I think maybe 5 or 6 years younger total of when I’ve ended up moving. No contact rule is going to be essential for you but that’s pretty much essential for everyone but after that really everything follows the same strategy. Then the next step is building attraction through text messages and then next step is to build attraction  through phone calls or Skype or Facetime or video chats and then the third step is the in person dates. Well, if you don’t have a lot of money, you probably work at a job that doesn’t pay a lot and probably works you like a dog. Now, if you knew a month ahead of time that you were going to meet you ex up at this certain date then the flights become a little bit more inexpensive which is kind of the strategy I would recommend for you to approach.
Now, let me tell you a little bit more about my personal experience with this method because I have actually done this method with my wife.
Maybe you can try to set up kind of a critical mass of attraction through text messages and phone calls where you kind of have this unspoken agreement where you’re not going to talk to other people when you set up this date maybe a month in advance or something.
I had my wife’s family which now they are my real family because I married her but at that time it’s such a drastic difference because I didn’t have any friends besides my wife. So, getting the human element, hearing people talk about their exes and how much they want them back and how hurt they are by the break up. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle.
There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful.
I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career.
So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness.
Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook.
Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back.
Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example.
We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on. But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend.


So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point.
My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that.
It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
I am going to be attempting to explain everything I know about how men react to the no contact rule. Some of the things I talk about may be hard for you to hear but at it’s core it will come from a place of truth. I mean, if I told you that you would get a 100% success recovery rate if all you had to do was make it through 30 days without contacting your ex there would still be some women who would fail at not contacting their ex.
Any woman who implements a no contact rule is uncertain about what is going on in her exes mind. Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them. I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex. In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction.
I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought. So, when I send you a text message and you don’t respond to it I am going to start to get agitated.
In fact, I remember the very first day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was.
It’s this weird reality that an ex will create for himself during the no contact rule to tell himself that life is better without you but deep down all he really wants is to talk to you. Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you (but wanting to hear from you) I am going to be ignoring you out of anger.
This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spit. Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you (or at least wants to know what you think.) So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down (beyond that anger) they still really want to hear from you.
Well, I want to make it clear that just because someone is a stubborn person that doesn’t mean that it is impossible to change their mind.
It is a really warped way of looking at things, I’ll admit, but you wanted to know about mens minds right? Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle. Men like this tend to be socially awkward or don’t really sense that anything is wrong. This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually (sometimes subconsciously) show them how much their ex significant other really means to them.
Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction. Post-breakup is when you are at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex.
In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move. I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase. Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule.
Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him. He may have a little bit of stubbornness in him in that he won’t want to be the first one to contact you.
Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. My ex was always threating to break up with me after little arguments, turning casual things into big deal breakers.
If you add an additional 4 from the four weeks you have ahead of you that means that 10 weeks will have gone by and you will have given your ex boyfriend plenty of opportunities to respond to your attempts to reach out.
That means that in a perfect world you will be ignoring your ex boyfriend for 30 days straight. This needy persona is the exact opposite of what drew your ex boyfriend to you in the first place.
Anyway he wanted something to do with baby witch you would expect but after a arugument with his ex (mother of his first child not the new girlfriend) he decided he didn’t want anything to do with the baby we are having!
I believe in honest, open, consistent, positive, fun, assertive but not needy (emotionally healthy) communication.
While I know that being anxious isn’t healthy, and that I should embrace uncertainty with a positive outlook, I find it very hard to do. I told him we can work on our problems but he says everyone keeps telling him that coming back to me will just mean the same old problems all over again. The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. First he agreed but then changed his mind in things that we cannot be fixed because there was nothing wrong with our relationship. It just means I’m going to take a much different approach.” If you’re willing to accept that, I think I may have a game plan for you where you can be successful. So, my mindset at that time was a little bit more mature even though like I said, I was little naive and thought the move would be easy. It could be millions of different reasons but what I personally think from drawing upon my own personal experience is he felt maybe a little uncomfortable in this new area and didn’t really quite have the guts to stick it out and set his roots his down and kind of normalize and it certainly takes some time to get there but you will get there eventually if you stick it out. And I like to teach these three date method where you go on a smaller date then a medium date then on a romantic date but that’s where the long distance relationship strategy kind of alters a bit because getting a date with an ex who’s states away isn’t easy. Build up a critical mass of attraction in the texting phase and phone call phase and then when you have the critical mass built, I want you both to set a date and stick to the date where you go out and get plane tickets maybe a month away until where the plane tickets are affordable and you’re not paying—dropping $700 to a $1000 on a plane ticket for a weekend where you see your ex, where you’re not even guaranteed to get them back. Ultimately getting him back is going to be contingent on getting either together in the same state or working out some sort of commitment where you have a deeper commitment like marriage or something but no matter how you slice or dice it, you’re going to have to get back on the same state so, maybe that means you have to be willing to move to him. I didn’t really know anyone again besides my wife and her family and I didn’t really have a support system to kind of fall back onto.
I really tried to provide as much personal experience in everything as I could to your situation but if you’re asking my professional opinion as a relationship consultant. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to listen to me ramble on Morgan and all of you who are listening and listening to ramble on with Morgan, thank you so, so very much. It’s good for me to help me understand you better and as a result, hopefully I can just continue to give good advice to everyone who wants it. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person. That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else.
I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out.
I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you.
If you aren’t familiar with my website then let me give you a quick breakdown of what I am all about. In fact, if you are a constant reader of this site then you won’t have to look very far either. Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely.
My actions here, once NC was done by you was to spam you with text messages and phone calls. It wasn’t nasty from her end it was nasty from my end and I think it all came down to the insecurity I felt from being alone. I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex. However, there will always be a certain portion of men that REALLY don’t like being ignored. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional.
For example: waiting for him to meet me under his block, constantly texting n calling him, wrote him emails and all these came to a point that he finally willing to meet me and talk. The forth time he did this, I was feeling very tired of this behavior so I fully agreed without trying to make him reconsider his decision. It doesn’t require a lot of thought and in the past your ex boyfriend responded to everything you sent him. Of course, after you have gotten over the breakup and moved on you are no longer displaying that needy persona. In order for you to see this page as it is meant to appear, we ask that you please re-enable your Javascript! I can distract myself with other things such as reading or hanging out with friends, but as soon as those things are gone, I fall back to that negative state.
He says he still loves me, but has decided he is not going to spend more time on a relationship. Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. If you could please give me any kind of advice before 6 o’ clock, that would be amazing but if that’s not. And we’re going to do everything we possibly can here in the ex recovery family to help you.
So, I understand that this is may be hard for you to hear because I think everyone who can listen to this and everyone who can you know, hear your voice knows that you’re in a really emotional spot right now and I can just tell you really want him back.
I’m just sort of the medium or the bridge between your mind and his mind and to what he may be thinking. So, the only way that we could make our relationship work is if I move to Pennsylvania and that’s what I ended up doing. I think I read somewhere that I don’t know, it takes like a year and a half to—maybe even like 3 years I read one time, to like settle down when you are in a new place.
And you know, my wife and I we weren’t married at that time but then we got married and we had a baby and our life turned out really, really incredible but it wasn’t easy that move.
Well, to be honest with you, I’ll just approach this like a long distance relationship breakup. The in person meet ups are a much bigger deal when it comes to long distance relationships.
You need to focus a lot of your time and effort into building attractions through those methods and then after you feel like you have built this critical mass of attraction, that’s when you push to meet up in either a neutral state or neutral place or you visit him or he visits you. If you have a job, you have to be willing to maybe take a vacation day or if you don’t have a job that’s great but that brings up to the next point, you need money. We obviously were trying to meet up because we were in a relationship maybe 6 months before I moved in with her. You know, set up a date where you visit each other and you know—with a normal break up I often say well, the best way to do is there’s got to be three dates, the small date, the medium date and the romantic date. If he’s comfortable and you think you can undergo the physical and emotional stress of moving such a long distance and not knowing anyone and being alone in a certain extent, you’re going to have to try to take some of ‘those risks perhaps or you know it’s sort of a talk that you and your ex have to have when you get to that point but don’t ever talk about that until maybe you see him in person or you got him in the best possible mood you can possible get in and you’re far down the road in the ex recovery process. I think that’s a complete mistake because ultimatums never work and you are self imposing an ultimatum on you. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation.
You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart.
Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method.
Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean.
So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. To be more specific, you can’t talk, text or respond to any type of communication from him.
This puts YOU in a very unique position because I am spreading all of our dirty little secrets. Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message. However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back.
Obviously, this is not what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this way to the no contact rule. I would say that there is a 95% chance that your ex boyfriend is NOT going to have this reaction. If you can find the perfect combination between the two (remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions) you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. So it’s been 3 weeks since 0 contact from both of us would you say I should admit defeat and move on? Consider that she restarted contact saying that she totally missed me and our relationship, but after that we didn’t talk about it anymore. Nothing I say or do seems to convince him that what we had is special and that he is giving up too easily on us.
We’re going to be talking about what to do if you find your ex boyfriend has become distant all of sudden. If that’s too much notice, I understand but any help you could offer me would be so much appreciated. So, I guess, this is going to be kind of a unique episode because I’m going to be bringing a lot of my own personal experience to it because I feel like I can relate to your ex boyfriend on some levels but first things first, let’s talk about the 6 o’clock deadline. You really care for him and like I said, we’re going to do everything we can to help you but the first thing that I want to try to encourage you to do is not rush this process. So, for your own peace of mind, just accept right now that he’s going to move back but that doesn’t mean that you’re helpless and that you can’t do anything about it.
Now, I was maybe a little bit young and naive when I moved because I had just started to come into some success with the websites. So, what I’m thinking could have happened with your ex boyfriend is that he moved from Missouri, is what you said I believe, to Kansas and the transition was tough for him and maybe you were the one positive part of that move because it takes a while for a human being to kind of sit down under a roof and feel comfortable right? My wife is the only reason I probably got through it but your boyfriend on the other hand, maybe he just got scared a little bit. You can just text them up and say, “Hey, you want a cup of coffee?”, “Sure, let’s go get a cup of coffee.” Well, you can’t really do that if you’re ex is a state away. Now, this poses a problem for a lot of people because I think a lot of the people, a lot of the women specifically who come to ex boyfriend recovery don’t exactly have a lot of money.
I just felt like I was—just had my wife and that was it and it takes a while to build that stuff back up. I would say try to get him back, take the long game—if you’re trying to get him back, sorry. I really appreciate what you’ve done for my websites because without you these websites wouldn’t exist. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it.
You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying.
Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.
Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier.
A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for.
But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up.
So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.


In the end, we agreed to disagree but I think this little anecdote proves an interesting point.
There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections.
When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with.
I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her. If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period.
Everytime I tried to talk things out, I’ve cried all these while and he is not accepting but stay persistent with his answer. A week before he broke up with me, I tried to break up with him because of his constant lies. He used to say this when he was mad at me (usually for no reason or for little things)…I was faithful and respectful all the time (and I suppose he was too). But one day they are calm, cool and collected and the next, they are all panicky, anxious and pushy. I told him I was unhappy, he apologized and said it was better to end the relationship because it was not fair to either of us. Until it is not a concern anymore, he will not want to come back to the relationship, no matter how hard you try to convince him. We’re going to be hearing from a woman name Morgan, who finds herself in a really interesting situation. I thought that was a great idea but when he got to Missouri, he started acting weird and distant.
I don’t know what to do and I have until 6 o’clock tonight to find a way to influence him to not just leave and then at least hear me out. I know this podcast is geared towards women and women specifically on ex boyfriend recovery but ex boyfriend recovery isn’t the only website I own. I know it’s hard but trying to get him back in 2 hours and convince him to stop his entire plan of moving back from Kansas to Missouri is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible.
So, maybe he latched onto you and you made him feel comfortable and then he went back to visit his parents and he felt their love and what it was like to be back home and you know he was thinking, “Man, this feels so great.” I don’t think it’s anything against you either Morgan.
You know, the answer is—the reason I think he may have potentially pulled something like this is because of the uncomfortableness of moving this big life change blah blah blah… We already got all that. My wife and I just took a trip out to Florida to look for a house to buy and the trip to Florida was not inexpensive.
It took me a good maybe two years before I felt like, “Okay, I feel like I’m kind of getting more at home here.” So, if you’re willing to take that kind of risk then I think you should maybe go full steam ahead with what I just tried to explain to you. I would say long distance relationships have the worst chance at success rates than some of the more general breakups just because of the distance can provide so many extra roadblocks to overcome. One of the things I liked about Morgan’s message was the fact that she kind of got choked up there at the end. Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn.
I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book.
So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest.
Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him.
Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead.
Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially.
Not forgetting to mentio that he is pretty an alpha person, so when he say something, he is most likely to obey it. But he didn’t agreed and he told me that we could work this out and that he loves me very much. The thing that really mess with my mind is that he got really angry at me during the break up and during all the 5 days after he took his decision. Now, he is telling me that he is not sure that he is in love with me anymore and he is returning to Kansas solely to get his stuff.
Now, if you don’t want to take the long game, I completely understand but that’s what I’m going to encourage you to do. I thought I would move maybe from my parent’s house to an apartment, to a house and you know but all within Texas.
I remember when we first moved into our apartment in Pennsylvania, we had no furniture and you know I worked from home and my wife at the time worked for an enterprise, a rental car company.
You may have been the perfect girlfriend but still like I said moving that long of a distance or moving and going through this drastic life changes can be really difficult on any human being not just your boyfriend or not just men in general. That doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re talking about long distance relationships because and often times, especially if you’re states away, you almost get only one chance, one shot at goal. That long distance way of getting your ex back Morgan but if you’re asking my personal opinion, I think if you can’t handle the fact that you’ll probably end up having to be the one to move to him in the end, I think maybe it might be time to just let him go and not think about it anymore. Not that I’m like kind of a dick about it like I like seeing people cry, I don’t but it makes me realize how serious people are about getting their exes back because sometimes I get a little removed from that. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations.
I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back.
What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did?
Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you.
Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again.
So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review.
We want to get this episode out as soon as possible for Morgan, so she can get the advice that she needs to get her ex boyfriend back. I mean, I think on average this process can take between 45-60 days to get your ex back and for those who are listening who are just generally trying to get an ex back or just trying to get, I guess a boyfriend back in any situation you could think of. She was like a manager there and so she would go to work, probably like at 6 am every single day and then get back at 6 pm or 7 pm. So, if you’re looking for reasons for why he may have broke up with you and why he maybe thinks you guys want different things out of life, it could be that he just doesn’t feel comfortable. He is moving back to Missouri and you’re in Kansas, so you are basically, if you are going to try and get him back, it’s going to be like kind of a long distance relationship and as far as what to do with the long distance relationship. Well, I try to see her at least once every single month but that required planning on both our parts. You have to make your time with your ex as romantic as possible and you have to do a lot of things like leave him wanting more which is kind of a cool thing about long distance relationships. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife.
And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. Instead, I agreed with the break up immediately, said him I would delete him from social media to help me healing and after getting my things back I just vanished from his life. So, on my other website, I actually ended up writing this really interesting article where I took kind of a mock situation where I was thinking, “Well, I’m constantly getting this questions about people who want to get their exes back as soon as possible.” And they rush through the entire process and more often than not, they fall flat on their faces.
We needed to make sure that she could get time off and that you know, I guess I had the money to do it.
I guess one of the biggest positives is a lot of the time that you get together in person is super romantic. I’m not going to say it’s a great shot because I think him moving back to Kansas for you is not as likely and I don’t know how you feel about moving to Missouri and I feel like that’s a decision that you should come to on your own without any kind of prods or pushes from me. Not that my wife and I ever broke up but the long distance relationship itself is so difficult to manage that it feels like you’re going insane sometimes.
I’m thinking about, “Ok, if you do this, this and this it’s going to equal this.” But sometimes it’s good to get the human element. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing.
To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything.
The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work.
You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. However my concern is, how sure can it be that based on his character and the words he used, he would miss me, text me during the no contact rule or even want to meet me after the no contact rule..
Individual who perceive relationship uncertainty and unpredictability as upsetting and threatening.Your natural and habitual way of reacting to relationship uncertainty and unpredictability is to obsess about unrealistic and exaggerated likely negative outcomes.
So, I took this mock situation to try to figure out what someone could do to get their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back, particularly their ex girlfriend since this was for the ex girlfriend recovery website.
It takes time and commitment on your part and even then you’re not guaranteed to get an ex back because no one can guarantee you that.
It was actually extremely difficult to move and a lot of times, I wasn’t as happy as I wouldn’t have been, if I hadn’t have moved. So, yeah I think maybe that could have potentially be what’s going on here and why he’s wanting to move back home. So, if you—I guess what I’m trying to say is building this critical mass of attraction is essential but you know, if your ex is states away, then you’re going to have to catch  a last minute flight when you’re trying to ask for this date and last minute flights are typically notorious for being expensive.
So, it wasn’t as much of an issue for me but she also had to come visit me and visit my parents. I’m just trying to tell you what I think and what I think is, I think in the future if you are to get him back, I think you would have to be the one to move to him. I’m trying to give you a look at every single aspect of this situation and part of that is just me giving you my personal opinion on your chances.
When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back.
You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood.
So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back.
Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process.
On day 2 after breaking up, he text me to say how angry he was because I deleted our photos together on Instagram, and he was also jealous of me hanging out with my friends, he was paranoid if I was already seeing someone else. So, she had to have the money to do that and the time to do that but before we even met before, we met online through Facebook through friends.
So, maybe he can be in his comfort zone but at the same time there’s drawbacks to that because you leave your friends and family. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature.
So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready.
Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. My bestfriend talked to him during the days that we had a fight and he told my bestfriend that he don’t know how to face me anymore. He too said he was sad And that it was possible he was going to wake up and realize he made s big mistake but at that moment he could not give me the certainty that I wanted to be able to continue. Part of the reason that I ended up not following the same suit as your boyfriend is that I really had a very deep commitment to my wife. So, we met online through Facebook through friends and we set up a day about two months in advance where we would meet and it was in Florida at her parent’s house and two months is pretty risky for someone you’ve never met but it’s sort of—it was that critical mass of attraction I was talking about.
I’m looking for all sort of lovey dovey adjectives I can think of but—critical mass of attraction maybe the best one. You leave your support system and you’re in this new strange place where you don’t really know anyone.
Everything that I’m trying to do is to help you obviously but sometimes I feel a little over robotic in the way that I think now. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you.
In fact, I think we were engaged maybe within a month of moving in and I was just committed head over heels for this woman. Enough attraction had been built to where we were willing to want to see each other and we set a date to see each other and stuck with the date and I kind of felt like we were dating before we met because we were both kind of committed to not hurting the other person’s feelings like I wouldn’t talk to any other girls at all while I was talking to her because I didn’t want to scare her off and she didn’t want to talk to any other men when she was talking to me because she, one,  didn’t want to scare me off and two, I was the one who had to buy the plane tickets to come see her and she would feel bad if she, I guess flirted or met someone else. I hate to use that one again but it builds a huge critical mass of attraction on both parties and then all of a sudden one of the people has to go home or both of the people have to go home.
Maybe you do know his family but it’s still not the same as having your family there or having your own support systems or network of friends which is something that I learned myself.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood. Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple.
Then when he told me that he wants to end things with me, I tried to stopped him because I believe that there are many things that we can do to fix the problem.
So, I felt like we were kind of in this relationship without being in a relationship yet when we were talking and I feel like that is maybe the best strategy for you Morgan. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails.
However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood.
I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I don’t want to give you false hope because like I said, your chances, it can be as great as some other people’s chances perhaps but I will say, if you were you willing to put everything you have into this, you can get him back for sure. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. He’s playing a sarcastic role right now trying to show the world how fast he moved on and how fabulous he is without me… What do you think I should do?
Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you.
Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place? It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys.
Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. But right now its been 2 weeks after the break up, and I think that I won’t wait anymore.
It’s curious that he deleted our pics from instagram, but he still keeps some pics of us together on facebook and also a video of us on Instagram. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. It feels like he’s playing the stubborn role that can last forever despite he still miss me in his life. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.




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Comments »

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  2. Smert_Nik — 08.09.2013 at 10:31:42 Does not make you a nasty all the time.
  3. Polat_Alemdar — 08.09.2013 at 21:27:15 She WILL contact you) or she will be relieved that you're.
  4. Devdas — 08.09.2013 at 10:17:29 Time but this is by far the simplest technique.