No contact rule if you want your ex back quotes,my ex didnt text me merry christmas party,how to get your electricians license in california - How to DIY

admin | How To Get A Ex Boyfriend Back | 12.10.2015
There is a reason why the "no contact rule" is mentioned in almost every dating advice book.
If you want to get your ex boyfriend to talk to you again then you are going to have to do some work.
What is the first thing that you want to do after a breakup, especially if you aren’t ok with it? So, if you want to get on speaking terms with your ex again you are going to have to do things that aren’t perceived as needy or desperate. Rather than texting or facebooking your ex every five minutes, a woman who wants to take control of the situation with her ex will implement something called a no contact rule. The no contact rule is supposed to accomplish more than just cutting yourself off from your ex. Of course, I will admit that the probability of a friend seeing you and squealing to your ex that you look amazing isn’t very high.
If you implement the no contact rule like I suggest above I would estimate that 40% of the time your ex will reach out and try to talk to you. The goal of this page is to get your ex to talk to you again and as you can see, the no contact rule alone can accomplish that feat. In the event that your ex doesn’t get back in touch with you then you are going to have to take matters into your own hands a little bit. Before I dive in to the rules of texting your ex I think it is important to mention that YOU SHOULD ONLY TEXT YOUR EX AFTER THE NO CONTACT RULE. It’s all about control, you want to control every aspect of the conversation you can. If you want to get back on speaking terms with him then you have to understand that you need to keep your first few texts to him very short.
No matter what he says to you DO NOT fall into the trap of responding to him, not yet anyways.
His interest is already raised because you sent him the confession text already but I want his interest raised even more.
Look, I am a guy and when I really like a girl that I am texting I can’t help but look at my phone every five seconds waiting for her response to my most recent text.
So, he’s responded to your confession text, you’ve waited the full hour, now what? There will be a small percentage of women whose boyfriends are so angry with them that they won’t respond even if they have waited a month via NC and sent the ideal text message.
I want you to understand that I wrote this page with it’s sole intent being to help YOU get back on speaking terms with your ex. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I did the NC rule and when i contacted him he replied within second, we always have good conversation but I’m the first one who always initiate the conversation. What if he says the reason why we broke up is because I’m too affectionate do I still do Nc rule??
We had a good story I don’t know why is so reluctant and why one month ago he answered also to see each other! I have talked a lot about the no contact rule on this website yet I have never really written an in-depth guide covering it. I guess I want to start off by saying that this guide is going to be very unique in that I have never quite written anything like it before for this website.
Well, this website is called Ex Girlfriend Recovery meaning that it is mostly focused on helping men get their ex girlfriends back (or even helping them get over their ex girlfriends.) Thus, all of the pages on this website up until this point have been applicable to men attempting to get their ex girlfriends back.
The reason that this guide is unique is that the no contact rule is a universal rule that can be used by both men and women. Of course, this site is made for men so there will always be a bias towards situations in which a man is trying to win his ex girlfriend back but if you are a woman who somehow ended up on this page please don’t be scared away because of the bias.
No, often times you have to reconnect with them after no contact, re-build trust, re-build attraction and go on a few dates before they are ready to re-commit to you.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? If you are curious as to how this entire process of winning an ex back works then I highly recommend you read up on it through Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO. I find that every expert out there has a different definition for how they define the no contact rule.
All kidding aside, my definition of the no contact rule has actually changed from when I first started my little online project of helping men and women get back with their exes a few years ago. I am the owner and operator of two websites that help men and women get back with their exes, Ex Boyfriend Recovery and Ex Girlfriend Recovery. I am a firm believer that in order for people to take your advice you have to prove to them that you know a thing or two about what you are talking about so there are my credentials for you as to why you should listen to me on the no contact rule over my peers. The No Contact Rule- A specific period of time where you ignore your ex in every form imaginable. Now, I would like to break the definition above up into two different sections so I can help you understand what a real NC rule is.
Above I pointed out that I have seen the no contact rule used a lot from men and women just like you. Yes, there are some idiots out there that actually think the no contact rule is permanent until your ex talks to you. Yep, you read that right, they are idiots who are lazy because they refused to read the actual definition. Well, my experience with the no contact rule in the past has taught me some very important lessons.
For one, a lot of men and women have trouble completing it which makes a massive no contact rule (like a time period of 60 days) hard to complete. Of course, probably the most important thing that I have learned through my experiences with the no contact rule is that no two situations are alike. Do you see what I mean when I say that there is truly no such thing as a universal no contact rule? As a result of my knowledge I have came up with three different time periods for the no contact rule that are effective in most situations.
This time frame is perfect for a situation where an ex is getting really antsy when you are ignoring them. Of course, you can’t mess around with people like this with long no contact rules like the 30 day rule and the 45 day rule.
The 30 day no contact rule is the standard no contact rule that most of the experts out there say to implement. Obviously I also recommend it but not in the same way that most of the other experts out there recommend it but more on that later.
Well, if a woman contacts you only once during the NC rule then the 30 day rule is probably ideal. Out of the three different no contact rules that I am recommending here I would say that without a doubt I recommend the 21 day rule the most. The real flaw with the longer no contact rules like the 30 day rule and the 45 day rule is that when you start them you have no idea how your ex is going to react.
Are they going to go crazy and threaten to cut you out of their lives forever or will they be just as stubborn as you? The 45 day rule is perfect for people who have done something really bad in their relationships.
For example, if you cheated on your ex multiple times with multiple different people then something tells me that he or she isn’t going to get over that in 21 days or even 30 days. For example, a regular breakup that ended on pretty decent terms isn’t going to require a 45 day rule. Of course, like I explained above with the 30 day rule I like to tell people that the NC rules are interchangeable on the fly.
The essence of the no contact rule is going to revolve around your ability to ignore your ex. Basically if you and your ex can somehow get in contact with one another I want you to stay away from them on it.
Just so I really hammer this point home I want to give you a common example that I come across. Lets say that you decide to use the 21 day rule no contact rule on your ex and everything is going good and on day 5 your ex reaches out to you.
A few days ago a man who is trying to get his girlfriend back contacted me with a very interesting question. As I said above, there are a few circumstances where no matter what you do you are going to be forced to alter your no contact rule. Below I have compiled a list of all the situations which require you to slightly break the no contact rule and what to do in those situations.
Obviously it is going to be impossible to do a full out no contact rule if you work with your ex for a number of reasons but mainly because you have to retain a working relationship with him or her. Lets say that you have decided that you are going to attempt the 21 day rule but you work with your ex. For 21 days you are going to implement the no contact rule meaning you ignore your exes every attempt of communication towards you. If your ex tries to bring up the relationship then you need to very kindly tell him or her that you are not ready to talk about the relationship yet. After your 21 days are up then you can begin the same re-attraction plan that everyone else on this site goes through after the no contact rule. Usually what happens is that a couple who is living together gets into a massive argument which prompts them to break up and then they are forced to live together in awkwardness until their living situation is worked out.
Well, in the instances where you are forced to talk with your ex about something stay away from your past relationship at all costs.
Another situation where I see people having to break the no contact rule is when they share a child with their ex. If you are in a relationship long enough then most likely the two of you shared things throughout your time together. First off, any communication or meetup with your ex to exchange items should be only about the items. You didn’t think you were just going to sit around and wait for the NC to conclude did you? A common mistake I see of my visitors and even my clients is the fact that they are lazy when it comes to the no contact rule.
If you were a dating a girl you really loved (I am assuming you are man here since this website is tailored more towards males) and she broke up with you, you would probably be very upset.
I want you to adopt this type of a mentality when it comes to your time during the no contact rule. I want you to look at what went wrong in your relationship on your side and shore up your weaknesses. For example, lets say that towards the end of your relationship with your ex you were a bit clingy or you had a bunch of fights over stupid things. Of course, achieving perfection when it comes to exes has more to do then just your mentality.
You are using the no contact rule to get your ex back which means your ex already knows who you are to a certain extent. However, we talked about the samurai mentality above and improving your personality so we have that covered but what I really want for you is to have a crazy before and after moment. The beauty of the no contact rule is that not only does it give you time to work on yourself but it also gives you time away from your ex to have a before and after moment.
No, creating a perfect before and after moment is about upgrading your style, grooming, having good hygiene and looking like you are the envy of others. One of the most interesting before and after shots that I have ever seen has to do with the famous celebrity David Beckham. Now, we do have to take into account that in the before picture above Beckham looks to be about 16 and in the after picture he looks to be about 30 but push that aside for a moment. So, as you can see, it takes more than just losing weight to have a great before and after moment.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
I was with my girlfriend for a year where we went travelling together for 3 months and spent a lot of time together. Hi Gf has just broken up with me, I am doing the 30 NC we have been together for 2 years, I became clingy and she left me saying she doesn’t feel the same. Be active during nc..be happy ?? improve yourself, change your appearance and be proactive ok?
This may be shocking to hear, especially after your ex treated you so poorly after your breakup, but he may secretly want you back.
Side Note: If you are an avid reader of my site you may be thinking that this article is similar to the signs your ex still loves you. I thought a great way to kick off this particular article was with a look at the male mind after a breakup.
Funny story actually, I remember having a friend in high school (she was a girl) that was literally all over the place emotionally. Sure, a guy can cry after a breakup but what I am talking about here goes much deeper than that. In fact, I would be more worried if your ex wasn’t angry with you in some way shape or form.
You see, any time he displays any form of anger aimed towards you (yelling, talking bad about you to his friends, talking bad about you to you) women take it personally. It can be tricky to tell if an ex is angry with you because some of them do a good job at hiding it. If you are an avid reader of this website then you know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule. Of course, a few years later when he was in a relationship with a girl his trips to the gym were completely different. If he is this upset by your freeze out during the no contact rule we know that it means he is emotionally invested in you.
In order for this warning sign to manifest you have to implement the no contact rule which you can learn more about here.
If your ex boyfriend gets upset at you during the NC rule for not responding to him it means he is emotionally invested.
The point is that I chose this particular type of comment to discuss in this section because it is a potential warning sign that your ex boyfriend is not over you.
Instead of doing the smart thing and letting a certain amount of time to go by, so he can heal, he tries to replace the hole in his heart with someone else, someone new. One of the most common ways is to go on the prowl for girls to fill the hole that you left in his heart.
So I decided to start my NC 4 days after we broke up, its been 2 weeks now and I haven’t heard anything from him at all! Hi im Becca and i broke up with my boyfriend a week ago we dated for about 5 months and the last month he was just being an ass and he told me he no longer wanted a title that he didnt want a relationship because he barely had time for me(which was true) and he said he had feelings for me and he wanted to continue seeing me then ir ealized hed comment on other girls pictures and i called his attenion on it and he said he wudnt do it again if it bothered me so he stopped then he just started standing me up on dated like oh sorry something came up i cant so i broke up with him i stopped answering his calls an texts and i miss him like crazy but yesterday he posted something on instagram talking badly about me with his cousins its been a week and i didnt say anything i want him back but i dont know if what he said was the truth i dont know what to do.. Yesterday he sent me a text saying he wants to move on with his life but doesn’t like it when I speak to other men because he is jealous and he still cares a lot for me. Today I was at work and he texted me out of nowhere, the closest we’ve come to small talk since the break up. My bf and I broke up two months ago, we didn’t talk for 2 weeks then saw each other at the gym and he said he missed talking to me and seeing me etc. My boyfriend of two years broke off with me due to noncommitment issues .He did this whilst i was not in town. My BF of almost a year broke up with me last week and I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to move forward. I think he just needs to clear his head and have a rest from the stress, give it a week or two of silence, if he initiates during that good and talk but keep it positive.
Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. The introductory guide about the no contact rule after a breakup and how utilizing no contact can actually help you in getting your ex back.
Ever since the creation of this site there has been one strategy that it has been associated with it above all others. You know, that pesky little rule that forces you to ignore your ex boyfriend on purpose for a certain amount of time with the hope that he will miss you and you can be that much further along with your plans to win him back.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? I must admit that while I get a lot of association with the no contact rule I am not the one who initially came up with the idea but if I ever do meet the person who came up with it I would shake their hand. Because I have seen the power of the no contact rule (if it is implemented correctly) firsthand and it is POWERFUL! And these are just a small handful of the women who have gotten back in touch with me after they got their exes back (using NC.) I literally have HUNDREDS of stories just like this saved to my iMac.
Anyways, I don’t think there is any doubt about the fact that the no contact rule does work when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back.
When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you always need to have a contingency plan. This page is going to be very long because I am going to be tackling things in an in-depth manner (like always) but at the same time I am going to make sure that this page is going to be very easy to digest because what we are talking about here is very advanced stuff.
That means that if your ex boyfriend were to call you, text you, Facebook message you or contact you in any other way, shape or form you would flat out ignore him. Now that you have a brief idea of what the no contact rule is lets move on to talking about how we measure a failed no contact period.
Now, maybe old age is starting to catch up to me (which at 25 would be kind of pathetic) but I can’t think of anything outside of those two reasons.
Luckily, the two reasons I gave above are all we need to really have an in-depth discussion. Pretty much the whole reason women get excited about the no contact rule is the fact that it has the power to potentially make their ex boyfriends miss them so much that they will want to come back to them on the spot once the period of time is up.
While it almost never works out that way (NEWFLASH you have to do more than just no contact to win your ex back) it can be very saddening when you don’t even receive a response from your ex after no contact. Most women are under the impression that if their ex boyfriends do not message them during the no contact rule it means that NC is not working. Because, in order for you to even have a chance to win your ex boyfriend back you have to communicate with him. That is the situation you are in if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you after the no contact rule is complete. I recently went through the comments here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and compiled a list of the first 20 women I could find who implemented the no contact rule on their exes. That means that 17 out of 20 women had successful no contact periods while the other 3 women didn’t.
This means that there is an 85% chance that you will have a successful no contact rule in which your ex boyfriend gets back in touch with you. I gave you ironclad instructions to NOT contact your ex under any circumstances (except the ones here) and you disobeyed my orders. A woman breaking no contact early because she either misses her ex or he calls her during the no contact rule is without a doubt the most common mistake I see on Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Of course, after further investigation I find out that she really didn’t do the no contact rule right as she broke it 3 days in after he messaged her on Facebook and she would sporadically break the no contact rule throughout the 30 days. You see, this woman was under the impression that the no contact rule meant that she could respond to him only if he contacted her first.
Notice how the NC period starts on the left of the line and then as time goes by it ends on the right of the line. Because, instead of giving your ex boyfriend time to reminisce and miss you, you are signifying to him with your actions (of interrupting NC) that you are still into him and as a result he isn’t going to respond the way you want him to after the no contact rule. The point I am trying to get at here is you have to be disciplined when it comes to the no contact rule. Of course, I created this page for women who are in a worst case scenario situation in which the no contact rule doesn’t work.
So, lets move on to the exciting part of this article, figuring out what to do if things aren’t going your way after the no contact rule. Lets assume that you are in a worst case scenario where your no contact rule has just failed. Then at day 31 (the day after day 30) you send a text message to your ex boyfriend and he doesn’t respond.
Luckily for you I have come up with 5 strategies on how to approach a failed no contact rule. If you go back and read my original thoughts that I had on the no contact rule years ago here what do I recommend that you do if you mess it up? Mess It Up= breaking it prematurely by messaging your ex boyfriend in any way shape or form outside of the allowed instances. It means that if you determined that you were going to use a 30 day no contact rule and on day 12 you broke that no contact rule then you have to restart the 30 days from that point on. We are assuming a worst case scenario so that means that no only did you break the no contact rule (and not start over from square one) but you also reached out to your ex boyfriend AFTER no contact was over and he ignored you. Rather than taking a step back and re-evaluating the situation they continue to text their ex or call him. This comes off as desperate and will have the opposite effect of what we are trying to accomplish here. So, what I have been recommending to women lately (with great success) is a staggered approach to the no contact rule. Lets say that you have contacted your ex boyfriend after your failed no contact rule and he has ignored you. Well, rather than messaging him again the next day I would say jump back into no contact for a week and try again. If you fail at getting his attention again after a week then go back into no contact for 2 weeks.
Well, lets imagine that you have completed the no contact rule and not gotten a response from your ex. Simple, you are going to continued the staggered approach and go back into the no contact rule for three weeks. Initially I talk about how I recommend a 30 day no contact rule for women who are trying to get their ex boyfriends back.
Now, I am not some sort of math wiz but by my count if you reach weeks using this approach 6 weeks will have already passed.


In that case (and only in that case) it may be time to admit defeat and focus your energies in recovering from the relationship. Well, breaking the sacred bond of no contact like this pretty much defeats the entire purpose. The Purpose- To use silence to make your ex boyfriend realize what he is missing out on and to kick start his feelings for you. So, rather than trying a staggered approach to the no contact rule (which is heavily focused on trying to get your ex boyfriend to respond to you) the prolonged approach is geared towards making him miss you. While it is true that there are no contact rules that can be extended for up to 90 days I am not a fan of those type of prolonged periods.
I have found that there is a correlation between moving on and a super prolonged period of no contact. 45 days is a perfect prolonged period because it gives your ex boyfriend time to miss you and at the same time not enough time has gone by for him to lose feelings in you yet. Know that I have a very specific way that I like to teach women to reach out to their ex boyfriends after no contact. Look, I understand the temptation of not sending a good first contact text message after ignoring your ex boyfriend.
However, you have to keep in mind that if you used the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend you just ignored him (on purpose) for hopefully 30 days. So, what I would like to do now is teach you my method for getting in touch with an ex boyfriend after the no contact rule. This is a small little screenshot of one tiny aspect of a redesign that Ex Boyfriend Recovery is going through.
This is the kind of effect your first contact text message needs to have on your ex boyfriend.
He will see it and be so intrigued by it that he will have to respond to your text message just to find out what you are going on about.
If we dated in the past and you texted this to me after ignoring me for 30 days I would respond to it. I am intrigued by the fact that you ignored me for that long and are reaching out to me for the first time. I can’t tell you how many times I have stumbled across a situation just like the one described above through this site. Men have this funny tendency to come back into the picture after women have moved on already. Well, I don’t have exact statistics on this or anything but what I do have is a theory. Well, instead of tinkering with the no contact rule what if you took the exact opposite approach and moved on without moving on. Move on without moving on is an idea I came up with that basically leverages my theory above.
Now, before I move on to our final strategy I will admit that this particular strategy is a bit riskier than the others. Hi hope this reaches you, I can’t find a situation like mine basically am pregnant (planned pregnancy witch we both planned) anyway before I found out we had a small fall out witch ended in us braking up and with in a day he was dating someone else.
In the end, I subscribe to the theory that in order for me to best help you get your ex boyfriend back you need to see the entire picture and that is what I am doing here with this guide, helping you see the parts of the picture you are missing. The no contact rule without a doubt is the most successful strategy that you can use to get your ex boyfriend back.
Well, I recently did my very own independent study where I took a look at what the women who have come to EBR and successfully won their exes back were doing and 72% of them had utilized the no contact rule. Here’s the thing though, most people who try the no contact rule end up failing.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? My vision was that you could use this book to serve as your safety net as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the no contact rule. Every single day I carve out an hour or two to answer comments and questions from the readers of this site. It’s funny to me though that so many women fail at something SO CRUCIAL to get their ex boyfriends back.
While I admit there are many constants in the concerns above the correct answer I am looking for lies in a simple truth. Therein lies the foundation on which this guide was built, helping you to better understand what goes on in your exes mind so YOU can succeed with the no contact rule!
To be more specific, I am going to be talking about how a man can possibly react (and what he will think) when a woman implements a no contact rule on him. When it comes to the no contact rule I have found that there are 7 main reactions and thoughts that men will have. What kind of emotional “aftertaste” do you think your ex boyfriend was left with after the two of you broke up? Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule. You are going to play my ex girlfriend (who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me.) Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. Of course, every time I send a message that you don’t respond to I am leaving myself vulnerable.
Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically.
Frantic Caller Turned Ignorer- A man who will frantically call after NC but will get so angry that you are ignoring him that he won’t call you again. Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response.
I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. I can’t tell you how often I hear women say this to me when they talk about their ex.
The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period.
It is your greatest fear after all, having an ex NOT contact you at all during a no contact period.
Me having that thought about you is probably your greatest fear when it comes to getting me back.
I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule. Yes, you read that right THEY are going to feel like the victim even though in the grand scheme of things they aren’t one. The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule. I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life.
Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. Men who tend to be clueless are ones that don’t have a lot of experience in relationships.
You see, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them.
For example, during the NC period a clueless guy will not sense that anything is wrong at all. So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. Here is the problem though, without the no contact rule you really don’t have any chance to acquire the logical mindset you need. The Scared Guy- This is a reaction that is the exact opposite of someone who frantically calls or texts. If YOU broke up with me and implemented a no contact rule then I would definitely be afraid to contact you because of the fear of rejection.
If you know for a fact that your ex boyfriend is afraid to contact you then shouldn’t you just break the NC and reach out to him first? If you contact him first during no contact he is probably going to revert to the stubborn mindset of “oh ya!
As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down. Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot. The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide. Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction.
You see, with the stubborn guy reaction I won’t contact you during NC but deep down I will still want to hear from you.
Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly.
So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction? Just over a day later he texted from the airport (another work trip) to say he loved me and to take care. My BF told me last month out of the blue that he want to break up but also he said we meet again after one month and half since he will come back from his traveling and we talk again. I have been in no contact for five days and he sent me texts on 3rd day, emailed me on 4th day and today he asked me if i want to skype and called me two times.
Sometimes, one person will be left hurt, crying, and thinking of a quick way out of the miseries. I am assuming, since you are reading this page on my site, that right now you and your ex boyfriend aren’t on speaking terms. You probably want to contact your ex, ask how he is doing, beg a little bit and eventually get upset because he isn’t giving you the time of day. Most people don’t respond well to silence and if your ex feels like you are ignoring him, which you are, he will go a little crazy trying to get a hold of you.
If you weren’t on speaking terms with him immediately after the breakup then hopefully the minimum time frame of 30 days will have settled him down enough for him to accept and respond to your texts. By sending him the confession text and getting him to check his phone every five minutes waiting for your response you are going to reinforce the behavior that he is used to when he has strong feelings for a girl.
I feel I have accomplished that by showing you some very effective methods to get him to talk to you again.
In that time I said to him that we could see each other when I was free… to not appear too needy and too available to see him but a week after when I asked him to go out he said that maybe we could see after my graduation. Well, that mistake ends today as this is going to be the most complete guide ever created on the no contact rule. Thus, the information that I am providing on this page can be applied by both men and women in their relationships.
A lot of my readers make the mistake of believing that completing the no contact rule is all that they need to do in order to win their exes affections back. In fact, I would say that just by completing the no contact rule you are only through half the battle.
You see, when I first started advising people I only knew the bare minimum about the no contact rule and while I was able to help a lot of people with my knowledge I really didn’t know as much as I do now. Through these two sites I have been able to see the no contact rule performed thousands of times. So, as you can see I have literally seen over 40,000 situations involving exes most of which involved the no contact rule. The complications to it really come in when you add other extracurricular factors into the equation.
Also, if you use a long no contact time period (like the 60 days one) the risk of your ex moving on to someone else is a lot higher. However, it is really up to YOU to choose which one of these no contact rules are perfect for your situation.
For example, lets say that you start your no contact rule and on day one your ex texts you.
Instead just know that for someone like this, someone who is really troubled by your lack of attention to them, the 21 day rule is perfect because it allows enough time to go by for them to miss you and also for you to regain some control of the situation. While you may be able to get away with the 30 day rule you aren’t likely to get away with the 45 day rule with an ex who requires attention on this level.
The 30 day period is perfect for women who don’t contact you very much during the no contact period. Of course, my experience has taught me a pretty clever trick when it comes to the 30 day rule. Lets say that you decide that you want to implement the no contact rule for 30 days and your ex goes crazy by contacting you 10 times. If your ex doesn’t contact you at all you can extend your no contact rule from 21 days to 30 or 45 days.
So, if you find that your ex is really getting antsy about you ignoring him or her you might be better off altering the no contact rule to a shorter time frame. That means that if they contact you, you have to ignore them and if you feel the urge to contact them you cannot. Luckily, 75% of you won’t have to alter your no contact rule but for those of you that will this section is for you. I can’t tell you how many times I get questions about how to approach this situation on a daily basis. The question you are wondering at this point is if no contact is even going to be possible for you.
In the instances where work forces you to communicate with each other then it is ok to communicate as long as you keep it strictly about the business.
A lot of the effectiveness of the no contact rule here is going to depend on how you handle your no contact rule alteration. Don’t project a negative vibe because people are turned off by someone with a negative vibe. Remember, be friendly and nice but also be kind of short until your no contact time period has completed. However, if you find yourself in this situation then there are a few guidelines that you have to follow.
Well, during the no contact rule I want you to adjust your mindset to where you won’t be clingy and where you wont take insignificant stuff so personally that you are willing to fight over it. Now, a lot of people out there are going to tell you that who you are on the inside is what really matters and while I definitely agree with them I think that in order for people to see who you are on the inside you have to first convince them on the outside.
Well, after the no contact rule your aim is to shatter their view of you and create a new one.
The last two months of our relationship consisted of her becoming increasingly distant and denying that there were any issues.
Do you think I should end NC at her birthday and begin gradually texting to rebuild attraction after, or do you think I should wish her happy birthday but then remain in NC until she reaches out to me first, no matter how long that is?
I had a couple of weeks where I was a bit distant, she had work issues and she decided to break up with me and go back home to Italy for a month.
Ex and I broke up about 5 months ago, she’s been talking to this guy she met up with a couple days after we broke up and finally posted them together a couple days ago. My ex girlfriend, only of a short term relationship 3 months or so broke up with me, I think I was a bit keen.
While I will admit that this article has a similar preface it is taking a much different approach and it is my goal to make this as informative as possible. This page is going to explore those signs essentially giving you a checklist to watch out for. As many of you know I am a male so I can give a very unique perspective on how to get your ex back by getting inside the mind of your guy. Also, you have to keep in mind that sometimes your ex could be doing a phenomenal job at hiding his anger so I will admit that it isn’t always easy to tell if your boyfriend is angry at you. I can understand why they take it personally too, after all, no one likes to be called a bit$% or get yelled at in the street.
I cared about them on a very deep level and because of that deep level every action that they performed was magnified.
So, that is the first sign I would say that you should look for to determine if your ex wants you back.
However, when you add in the fact that he has a girl wanting him his ego can get really inflated. He is expecting you to call him a million times during the breakup, do the emotional dance and even get on your knees and beg for him to come back to you. In his mind he is this god who can have any woman he wants (because he had you) and you have the audacity to ignore his call?
I actually alluded to this at the beginning of the article but I really didn’t go too far in-depth because I knew I was going to be talking about it here. We broke up a week ago but I wish I had found your site earlier because I have made so many mistakes that you say not to make. While I am absolutely thrilled to be getting these types of comments so early in this sites history I sometimes feel like some people don’t read what I am recommending and just decide to comment.
6 months after we broke up i met this new guy who seemed perfect for me and he told me he was looking for something serious, which is also what i wanted. We met and bonded I then shared my birthday he suggested a weekend away anywhere I want to go. My ex and I dated for almost 7 years, we have a child together so no contact could not be done. I told him we can talk about it that evening and then he got angry with me later that day after I shared a post to one of my male friends’ Facebook page. My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and it was a relationship full of love, passion, respect…it had everything. I got back in town and went straight to his house and begged and cried but he wouldnt listen and later we ended up having sex. Night before last we had a ridiculous fight over having the fan on at night, he yelled at me, i asked him not to yell, he continued yelling so I left his house. So many people just don't follow or implement it the right way and yet it is one f the most important steps on how to get your ex back.
If you add an additional 4 from the four weeks you have ahead of you that means that 10 weeks will have gone by and you will have given your ex boyfriend plenty of opportunities to respond to your attempts to reach out.
That means that in a perfect world you will be ignoring your ex boyfriend for 30 days straight.
This needy persona is the exact opposite of what drew your ex boyfriend to you in the first place. Anyway he wanted something to do with baby witch you would expect but after a arugument with his ex (mother of his first child not the new girlfriend) he decided he didn’t want anything to do with the baby we are having! I am going to be attempting to explain everything I know about how men react to the no contact rule. Some of the things I talk about may be hard for you to hear but at it’s core it will come from a place of truth. I mean, if I told you that you would get a 100% success recovery rate if all you had to do was make it through 30 days without contacting your ex there would still be some women who would fail at not contacting their ex.
Any woman who implements a no contact rule is uncertain about what is going on in her exes mind.
Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them.
I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex.
In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction. I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought. So, when I send you a text message and you don’t respond to it I am going to start to get agitated. In fact, I remember the very first day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was. It’s this weird reality that an ex will create for himself during the no contact rule to tell himself that life is better without you but deep down all he really wants is to talk to you.
Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you (but wanting to hear from you) I am going to be ignoring you out of anger.
This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spit.
Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you (or at least wants to know what you think.) So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down (beyond that anger) they still really want to hear from you. Well, I want to make it clear that just because someone is a stubborn person that doesn’t mean that it is impossible to change their mind.
It is a really warped way of looking at things, I’ll admit, but you wanted to know about mens minds right?
Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle. Men like this tend to be socially awkward or don’t really sense that anything is wrong. This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually (sometimes subconsciously) show them how much their ex significant other really means to them. Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction. Post-breakup is when you are at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex. In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move.
I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase.


Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule. Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him.
He may have a little bit of stubbornness in him in that he won’t want to be the first one to contact you. Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. My ex was always threating to break up with me after little arguments, turning casual things into big deal breakers. Every single day I get a minimum of at least twenty emails from women who are all over the place emotionally because they aren’t on speaking terms with their ex. I want to tell you something about men, seeing as how I am one and know what it is like when a girl contacts me in the way I described above.
However, you have to send your text a certain way and you have to understand that the more disciplined you are during your conversation with him the better off you will be. Even if you came up with the most fascinating text in the world you wouldn’t be his top priority. I have wished him happy easter and nothing, today I have asked him how’s going his thesis because he will get graduate and nothing.
I mean, wouldn’t it be weird to expect that your ex would want you back after you ignored them for a certain amount of time? So much so that I wrote up a 30,000 word guide that pretty much walks you through the entire process of winning an ex back. As a result of dealing with this many situations I was able to figure out a lot about what works about the no contact rule and what doesn’t work with it but perhaps the most important thing I was able to get was what you can do to shore up the weaknesses of the no contact rule.
However, at the same time if you come back to your ex too soon with a super short no contact period then not enough time has passed for them to realistically want to take you back. For example, someone who really needs space or needs to be alone for a long period of time will react better to a 45 day no contact rule versus a 21 day one. Most of the gurus out there that teach people about the no contact rule are iron clad about their beliefs on it. The real reason is the fact that most people end up going crazy when you ignore them and the 21 day rule is perfect for dealing with people like that. Well, in this case I think it would be smart to alter your no contact rule down to 21 days. The only time that you would ever be able to contact them is after your no contact period has completed.
So, while you are ignoring your ex boyfriend or girlfriend you should also simultaneously be working on yourself to be the best version of yourself that ever existed.
Finally she broke up with me telling me the spark is gone and she doesn’t see a future with me.
It seems like a really small thing to break up over and I texted her most days trying to make conversation and get her back.
I was telling her and showing her all the changes I was making in my life and she kept saying she was proud of me. No, this is not an exact science but I have found that time and time again an ex who is really missing his girl exhibits the signs laid out on this page. Other guys will create a defense mechanism that prevents any girl in the future from every penetrating it (George Clooney.) Of course, there is also the rebound guy that starts getting into new relationships immediately after your breakup.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Nevertheless, lets try to take a deeper look into what is going through the mind of a man who is doing these types of things. While I am certainly ashamed of these things I think I have found a way to put these horrible memories to use, by helping you out. I wasn’t yelling because deep down I hated the person or never wanted to be with them again.
Only if you do a strict no contact rule he begins to wonder why you aren’t doing what you are supposed to do in begging for him back.
Him always having to work to get you will kind of turn him on a little bit because guys always want what they can’t have.
Well, perhaps I should be a little more specific, I am going to be talking about one particular way that men deal with a breakup that is a surefire warning sign that he is not over you yet and may want you back in the future. This particular type of guy immediately goes on the prowl looking for a woman to take away his pain.
Everything was great up until I made this mistake of lying to him when he asked me something that I hid because I didn’t want to fight over, and he knew the truth. I have this boyfriend who I talked to for 2 months and we’ve been dating for 2 months.
He could never stay away from me at first as well and will always contact me if we didn’t contact each other less than 3 hours. My boyfriend would tell me how much he loved me and how important I am in his life almost every day. We had plans for him to meet my family in April and I was going out to his family reunion in May in another, we live in Texas.
That lasted maybe a week and we started hanging out again and now we text regularly and see each other multiple times a week.
Since then hes in touch with me and we been hanging out ,holding hands and are like couples but he doesnt address me as “baby” anymore, I dont know what is he upto ? It doesn’t require a lot of thought and in the past your ex boyfriend responded to everything you sent him. Of course, after you have gotten over the breakup and moved on you are no longer displaying that needy persona. If you aren’t familiar with my website then let me give you a quick breakdown of what I am all about.
In fact, if you are a constant reader of this site then you won’t have to look very far either. Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely. My actions here, once NC was done by you was to spam you with text messages and phone calls.
It wasn’t nasty from her end it was nasty from my end and I think it all came down to the insecurity I felt from being alone. I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex. However, there will always be a certain portion of men that REALLY don’t like being ignored. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional.
The forth time he did this, I was feeling very tired of this behavior so I fully agreed without trying to make him reconsider his decision. To men, any sign of neediness or desperation, and make no mistake about it, begging and crying display those qualities, are a complete turn off.
Men are very visual creatures and I am not going to lie to you, they will have no problem breaking up with a girl if they are… overweight, have skin issues or if they consider them to be too ugly.
Because if there is anything I have learned in my years here on earth it is that friends are blabber mouths ;).
You have his attention and now it is time for you to send him something positive that will fill him with good romantic feelings towards you.
He needs more space and you are going to have to wait some more time before you reach out to him again. If you want to learn more about how to get your ex back then I suggest you visit my complete guide on doing so. Of course, then we can look at the other side of the coin when you have a person who can’t go very long without interaction.
He looks like he has gotten his fair share of sun in the after picture while in the before picture he is a bit paler. For 6 weeks after our breakup she continued to send me mixed messages and tell me she needed time and didn’t make a ‘decision’ and was not moving on.
We have been split apart for 5 weeks now and she only started ignoring me last weekend when I asked to meet her. Before NC she said she was done with me and was really mean about a personal issue going on in my life. It was my idea as the chances of us being together were really small in future and it was bothering her a lot, so i broke up as i thought she wont be able to take the guilt of breaking up. It is assumed that you want your ex back but all this page is designed to do is help you understand if HE wants YOU back. It may shock you to learn that the NC rule can actually be used as a test to see if your ex wants you back. This fact alone will inflate his ego to an extraordinary level because in his mind he has you wrapped around his finger.
Soon, he begins to worry that you have moved on so he reaches out to you, only you don’t respond. Also, if he realizes that he is constantly chasing or having to work to get you your value will raise in his eyes. Two weeks after the trip I told him I miss him he snapped and told me we were just together two weeks ago. But in the end he became really distant if we’re not together, but we were still really good when we were together in person. For the moment, he doesn’t think we can be in a relationship until I get it together. So it’s been 3 weeks since 0 contact from both of us would you say I should admit defeat and move on?
To be more specific, you can’t talk, text or respond to any type of communication from him.
This puts YOU in a very unique position because I am spreading all of our dirty little secrets.
Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message. However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back. Obviously, this is not what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this way to the no contact rule.
I would say that there is a 95% chance that your ex boyfriend is NOT going to have this reaction.
If you can find the perfect combination between the two (remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions) you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. Of course, before I dive in to the good stuff there are a few things that I need to make you aware of. Of course, there will always be the oddball guy that is so pathetic that he actually feeds off of making women beg and cry but usually those are very rare. Successfully completing the NC rule for a minimum of 30 days is going to take a tremendous amount of discipline.
That means, if his friends think you are looking better than ever then he will eventually hear it and get curious. You can bet your butt that your ex boyfriend, no matter how bad the breakup was, will be looking at your profile. By waiting an hour the chances of him checking his phone for your response every five minutes is raised drastically.
Now, no matter what happens after that I want you to end this conversation thread with him by not responding. Also, I am very involved with this site so if you leave a comment I will be responding to it. The conversations seemed mechanical, sometimes emotional but he never wanted to discuss what happened etc. She had been distant but started to open up to me again just before she started to ignore me. Now, if your are past that and just want to know exactly what to do to get him back then I would like to direct you to Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book.
It always struck me as bizarre but as I thought more and more about it I began to realize that women are much better at handling their emotions than men are.
So in the end, he decided that we we were not on the same level and expectations for this relationship and he said he thought he was ready for a committed relationship but it turns out he wasn’t so we broke up. Says I cannot work on myself if I’m focused on him and for me to take my time and space and see what therapy helps me with. I wanted to try living in the same city, but he was scared of a lot of things and that was preventing us from moving forward and being together. My question is, should I myself come right out & ask him what has changed or why he has contacted me or should I wait & see what happens between us and are these signs that he does want to get back together?
In the end, we agreed to disagree but I think this little anecdote proves an interesting point. There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections. When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with.
I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her. If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period. A week before he broke up with me, I tried to break up with him because of his constant lies.
He used to say this when he was mad at me (usually for no reason or for little things)…I was faithful and respectful all the time (and I suppose he was too). So, what better way for you to show off the new you to him by taking a picture and posting it on your profile? After some weeks she wanted to get back, but i denied, not coz i didnt want to get back, coz i knew she wont be able to handle the stress of future again n we ll have these pointless discussions again. I’m really sad and I want him back because whenever we were together it was so perfect.
Then yesterday I called him and he told me he doesn’t know whether he wants to be with me. I don’t know if I should wait and continue with how things are, or if I should write us off. He had been hurt badly in the past (his ex cheated on him and he was devastated by it) and was afraid of getting hurt again. But he didn’t agreed and he told me that we could work this out and that he loves me very much. The thing that really mess with my mind is that he got really angry at me during the break up and during all the 5 days after he took his decision. It’s unfortunate too because the NC rule is probably the most effective tactic that you can use to not only get your ex boyfriend back but to get on speaking terms with him. The break up was also a bad decesion as i also failed my exams n all that negativity was also affecting me a lot n i cudnt think straight. I will leave a link below for you to click on but for now lets just dive right in to the warning signs ;). Now, keep in mind at this point my friend didn’t have a girlfriend this was just how he saw himself.
Now in march he whatsappd me commenting on my profile picture….we laugh and talk like friends, flirt and sometimes like we still dating! He unfollowed me on my instagram and snapchat because he said that he didn’t want to know what I was doing because he was always checking up on my profile. He said in the beginning that he loves me but in the end of the phone call he said he cannot give me an answer for this question. I want you to show that you are in control of the conversation and you have the power, not him. My birthday is next week on the 20th day of this 21 day NC and if she texts me do I ignore that?
That was up until my ex contacted me once ( the 3 year and half one), and I told my then current boyfriend that he’s talking to me and he asked me to figure out what he wanted and let him know. I am worried that I will be investing my time and energy into this for him to randomly decide he doesn’t want to see if we will work out anymore and that I will feel more hurt than I did when we originally broke up.
When we broke up he told me that he needed to be on his own right now to figure things out and that he needed to sort his life out (he also had a stressful job and felt like he wasn’t financially secure, so that was also weighing on him). Instead, I agreed with the break up immediately, said him I would delete him from social media to help me healing and after getting my things back I just vanished from his life. He used to initiate but for the past month, it seems like I’m the only one initiating. I really want to ask her to meet for a coffee so she can see this is stupid but maybe it is a bad idea. I am so confused and sad since he told me always that he loved me and he even acted like that, I have no clue what could happen. He said that he loved me and that I was everything he wanted, but he wasn’t ready for this.
My then current boyfriend got so mad that I stayed on the phone for that long with him, and since he doesn’t trust me he thought that I still have feelings for my ex and that I was just using him to get over my ex.
We even went to the mall and he would try to hold my hand and I would try ignoring him and walk away but I showed just a little bit of interest. I protested at first and tried to suggest any alternatives to breaking up, but he insisted that he needed time on his own. On day 2 after breaking up, he text me to say how angry he was because I deleted our photos together on Instagram, and he was also jealous of me hanging out with my friends, he was paranoid if I was already seeing someone else. When I initiate, he would respond late, the next day, carry on the conversation for a bit and then just stop replying me.
10 months into our 2 year relationship, while traveling out of the country with friends, we stayed at an apartment with two girls.
Then i wanted to get back, i made her sure that I will do everything to make the future happen, I apologised for being a jerk, but she denied n said she needs space n wants to be alone n away from expectations and on her own terms. I eventually relented and sent him a message saying that I understood he needed to be by himself right now, that I couldn’t wait for him, but I hoped he figured things out and I was here if he ever wanted to talk. My bestfriend talked to him during the days that we had a fight and he told my bestfriend that he don’t know how to face me anymore. He too said he was sad And that it was possible he was going to wake up and realize he made s big mistake but at that moment he could not give me the certainty that I wanted to be able to continue. The one girl offered for me to sleep in her bed instead of the hardwood floor and I accepted the offer. I told her that I ll leave the door open n if she ever changes her mind about getting back, she should tell me.
We didnt talk much, she did call me rarely to ask about some study related stuff as she is my junior in college. That was the day we broke up and its now been almost a week and he still hasn’t replied to me.
Then when he told me that he wants to end things with me, I tried to stopped him because I believe that there are many things that we can do to fix the problem. I was not physically or emotionally involved with this girl – we literally just slept on the same surface. But last day she went home n we had a long video chat, ended up having phone sex on the chat, n the day after. Then the next day he tells me that he doesn’t want to talk to me because he is better off without me. But after that she said she felt guilty and we shudnot do it, she didnt change her mind n refused to get back together, i thought she has finally agreed to be together, but she didnt.
He’s playing a sarcastic role right now trying to show the world how fast he moved on and how fabulous he is without me… What do you think I should do? My ex saw I was friends with this girl on Social Media, saw that she had messaged me (probably something like ‘hope you made it back to the USA alright’) and asked me who she is.
It was only a 2 month relationship but I think if we get a second chance things could get much better because when we weren’t fighting, we were perfect together. But right now its been 2 weeks after the break up, and I think that I won’t wait anymore. So after she told me she was banging our mutual friend, I told her that I had actually slept in this girls bed but that nothing happened. It’s curious that he deleted our pics from instagram, but he still keeps some pics of us together on facebook and also a video of us on Instagram. She was obviously hurt, but I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest so we could reconcile and since I didn’t actually cheat it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I know it’s only been a week, and I’m willing to give it at least a month or maybe a few months, but how long is too long to wait? It feels like he’s playing the stubborn role that can last forever despite he still miss me in his life. Next weekend will be 30 days since I sent my response to her letter, and 21 days since I asked if she received it, but her birthday is also coming up the following weekend which would be 30 days since I asked if she received the letter and 37 since I actually sent it.
Not sure if I should continue NC until she reaches out to me, or end NC a week before her birthday so that there is a build up before her birthday rather than randomly wishing her a happy b-day after NC, or the alternative which is not reaching out at all or doing a longer 45 day NC and reaching out after her birthday. I am also afraid she might move home to be with her family soon because she doesn’t have many close friends in our city and her father is ill and she has been visiting home a lot.
I have been ignoring her on Instagram (she posts like nothing is wrong), but she recently liked a very flattering selfie that I posted a week ago.



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