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Trying to see a situation from your spouse's perspective is supposed to be a good thing, right? As the novelist and essayist Charles Baxter put it in his book Burning Down the House, "People in a traumatized state tend to love their furniture." It's almost as if we're gathering things to bolster against loneliness. In honor of Father's Day, we asked our readers to tell us the very best love and relationship wisdom their dads have imparted to them. Beyond a bizarre hang up, this is just the latest declaration from a long line of women about maintaining sex appeal with their partner. So far, in our relatively short life together, my husband's seen me sick, held my hair and rubbed my back as I've clung to the toilet or splayed myself on the cold bathroom tile more times than I'd like. If you're looking for advice on finding love again from a guy's perspective, get ready to do some digging.
If he's at home, don't bug him about work, don't nag him about stuff he hasn't accomplished, don't compare him; just accept him as less complicated. Her: "When you left the house with my car keys in your messenger bag, it felt like you didn't see me. According to relationship blogger Mara Kofoed, author of A Blog About Love, the answer is finding power within yourself -- something she learned the hard way in a previous relationship. Watch the video above to hear more of her advice, and check out the full HuffPost Live segment here.
Instead, we scoured the best in psychology and get-it-done business titles to find strategies that create more trusting, fun conflict-free intimacies. You get a snapshot of his or her feelings and thus can be more understanding and empathetic. Because sure, you want to pounce on him when you catch him in a jerky act -- smoking a cigarette out the window?
This doesn't mean you don't think interesting things or long to share them with your spouse. Dads -- though perhaps slightly overprotective at times -- also know a thing or two about finding and maintaining the right relationship. He's examined questionable marks on my body, stood beside me as I've endured procedures, tests, infections and severe allergic outbreaks and nursed me through the gruesome aftermaths and, most recently, supported me through a pregnancy that wasn't pretty. I want a partner who I know is there for me, worts and all, and who I don't have to put up a charade around. Sure, it made for a good photo op or great sex, but those aren't the moments my husband and I remember, reminisce about or that connect us. Holmes, in my book, it's not about the grooming habits or the choice of attire, not about the witnessing of bodily fluids, a few extra pounds or a little less hair, it's about the companionship and support, when sexy faded long ago and true love and friendship remain. The lion's share of post-split advice out there is geared toward women, written to help them get over Mr. That's why we were happy to see a recent Reddit thread pop up on the one thing men should strive for in a relationship. He's not thinking about you -- or if he is, he doesn't want to talk about it because his bad feelings will evaporate if you don't try to dig into his brain. That's for birthdays and anniversaries, or when you're both a little drunk and can pretend to be kissing somebody else. Even as a female, the quest for girls was always more complicated, the thirst never as easily satisfied. The next time you stumble on, say, how to make a penny ball that repels slugs, make sure you share it with your husband, the gardener, by using a technique reported on by Adam Bryant in Quick and Nimble: Lessons from Leading CEOs on How to Create a Culture of Innovation.


Further research proved that "people who did this three times a day for one week improved their happiness." And happiness, as we know -- scientific studies or not -- usually leads to a lot of more happily ever afters.
In regards to a one-night stand or fling, sure they'd probably prefer to keep the mystery alive, but for a long-term, equal partnership where they, too, can be themselves, most men I know and associate with choose authenticity over artificial arousal.
In fact, I can tell by the way he looks at me that he's more in love as a result of it all. I witnessed my grandparents endure humiliating, horrifying circumstances at the end of their lives. Some of our best inside jokes and cherished memories come from our most desperate, unattractive times. I'll take that kind of relationship any day over the farce and "fairy tale." It means I get to keep my sweats!
I had old relationships that were full of dumb, insignificant lies and it was such a pain to keep track of them all. Being in love with a woman without being best friend seems, to me at least, like eating a chocolate popsicle that doesn't have the stick in the center holding it in place. Part of the reason my last relationship fell apart was that I was stuck at a job that made me miserable.
Or, "I accidentally left the house this morning with my boyfriend's car keys in my purse, so I'm going to have to fuck him tonight." Huh? And then I had to spend my day correcting your mistake by Ubering to your office to get my own keys. If I was, it was obscured by the pinkity-pink of the dresses I was shoved into without a care as to my opinion. They muse, "If you're attracted to women, do you spend a lot of time touching your own breasts?" "If you're into girls, why aren't you into me? No, I am not attracted to most heterosexual women, because being with a woman who has never been with a woman is a little like teaching someone how to ice skate.
But if women could just realize they have so much to offer and that there isn't just this one guy that will fulfill them, I think it can give you the strength to walk away," she said. In his study of 104 couples, he asked one partner to predict how the other would respond to questions on everything from the use of cash to biggest life regret.
Each week, as Bryant describes, the CEO of the social-networking site Foursquare, Dennis Crowley, sends an email to his whole company.
She's gorgeous, smart, funny and can sex it up on the red carpet or in a lingerie scene on the big screen with Justin Timberlake. It's those moments that we struggled or stumbled that make us laugh the most now, further endearing us to one another and what we've been through -- together.
As I grew up, I kind of followed what my peers were doing, and that included exploring my sexuality with the opposite sex. Are you into me?" "Guys make a lot of jokes about how women smell and taste; are those rumors true? Skating only gets fun after you're done with the lengthy initial insecurities and instruction process.
Or you could borrow a technique suggested by Chris Ertel and Lisa Kay Solomon, who consult with corporations on how to plan strategic meetings.
The email has three parts "Things I'm Psyched About," "Things I'm Not Pysched About" and "Things I'm Working On,"as well as a list of links to random things he finds interesting. Working on and bettering yourself will only enhance your life and, therefore, your partner's.


And even worse, in a relationship of two women, we don't trade sex for the emotional "out" of a confrontation. Though I most certainly respect it and decidedly long for it, it just doesn't exist as an option.
Are we gross?" All those terrible jokes men cling to because guys want to receive and not give oral sex. Experiments by Harvard researchers, writes Epley, demonstrated that when questioned immediately post-bust, people tended to lie due to their dread of punishment. She's often in, gasp, sweats with no makeup, out with her man in broad daylight and photographers at every turn. He relishes the moments where he can take care of me because I'm normally independent as hell. But wearing the occasional pair of sweatpants, sporting a naked face or cleaning your ears is hardly what I would classify as letting yourself go.
I'll apply this ointment to my own inflamed personality immediately." But they don't, because they can't. I do know stuff about guys that women may want to know, because I walk fairly invisibly behind the "enemy" lines.
Those innuendos have had women throughout the ages wondering about the aromatic nature of our own genitals.
And, as for the mythology of the scent of a woman: well, if for some reason it's strong, there's generally something going on down there. A short break seems to alleviate that fear enough that they go ahead and admit the ugly truth. You and your spouse can plot the same things, revealing where you earn or spend your money (versus: how you think you earn or spend it).
And, best of all, are "a good way to start a conversation" that doesn't involve the cost of a babysitter or who forgot to make the reservation (again). When I truly need him, when I'm at my weakest and least attractive, I see how much I matter to him. It would be so much simpler to just fuck away the bad feelings, versus having to endure a bleary-eyed marathon.
Which, as we know from our own slipups, is the first step to apologizing -- and figuring out how to avoid the inadvisable act next time. Other ideas might be to sketch your geographic moves over time or your most important life choices or anything that's relevant to the current discussion. I've got news for you ladies: If you plan, like I do, to spend your life with this person, he's going to see a lot more than ear wax and baggy drawers.
He resents you for feeling so much, but he loves you because you feel so much, which, in turn, forces him to feel.
The idea being to create a (literal) picture of the past that illustrates what to do -- or not to do -- in your future. I know if you'd told them about the ear cleaning phobia or the loungewear theory, they'd laugh.




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