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These pressures, challenges and trials are causing the breakup of countless marriages and families. If you have ever been stressed, or pushed into a corner by a relationship problem to the point where you though it would be easier to just throw in the towel and give up, then I have good news for you. One of our main goals and purposes here at is to give you the support, advice, encouragement, tools and resources you need to solve your relationship problems and save your family. The breakup and disintegration of families is one of the greatest tragedies in our world today.  And it is our mission to do whatever we can, even if it is small, to reverse that trend. Even if we publish this blog for 20 years, and only help save just ONE marriage or family it will be worth all of the time, money and effort we could ever expend.
And because a family is at it’s core a network of relationships, it is by helping to strengthen those individual relationships that your family as a whole is strengthened.
The core relationship within the family dynamic that impacts and effects all other is the relationship between husband and wife. If that relationship is strong and secure, odds are the family as a whole will be strong and secure.
But if that fundamental relationship has been allowed to fade or weaken, then the entire family suffers and responds to that weakness.
Strengthening your marriage (and thus your family) is not an easy task, but hopefully with the help you will find here, everything will become easier. And rest assured, no matter how bad you think your relationship problems are, or how distant or strained the relationships within your household have become, it’s never “too late”. There is nothing in life more important or more “worth it” than working to strengthen your family relationships.  Because in the end, those relationships are all we have and all that matter. Recent CommentsThe Pepperrific Life on You Don’t Need to be Alone AnymoreHear Mum Roar on Relationship Problem? Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Studies have shown that affectionate touch actually boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.
Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers or a favorite movie home unexpectedly. A little humor and playful interaction can go a long way in relieving tense situations and helping you see the brighter side. If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard.
Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome.
Sometimes problems in a relationship may seem too complex or overwhelming for a couple to handle on their own. What Research Tells Us About the Most Successful Relationships – Review what research studies reveal about what makes a relationship successful. Not long ago, a couple who had been happily married experienced some form of serious communication problems. When couples decide to go for therapy, no doubt, they will have a lot of questions about the whole process.
In this first stage, the therapist tries to explain to the couple that the challenges they are experiencing is as a result of some patterns between them.
In the case of this couple, the husband feels unresolved and even thinks that his partner is not concerned about him or the relationship.
This process entails your therapist assisting you to change the negative patterns identified in the previous step. Once you understand the context of your partner’s reaction, it takes a small effort and specific adjustments to make your relationship better.
Back to our couple, the husband eventually understood the need to give her space to do her own things. If your marriage is full of misunderstandings and arguments, definitely you are missing something. Thanks for visiting!In today’s hectic, fast paced world marriages and family relationships face challenges, problems and pressures unheard of just 20 years ago.
Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, loving touch and holding on brain development. In a committed relationship between two adult partners, physical intercourse is often a cornerstone of the relationship. While touch is a key part of a healthy relationship, it’s important to take some time to find out what your partner really likes. Everything may have seemed new and exciting, and you may have spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try.
Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of really sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.

However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges or old resentments start getting in the way.
If you’re feeling a little rusty, learn more about how playful communication can improve your relationship, and for fun ways to practice this skill. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out disconnect.
Healthy relationships are built on compromise, and it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly.
Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while you were younger, or it could be from years of accumulated resentment building up in your current relationship. Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it’s important to face them together as a couple. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. It’s a big investment, and time, energy, focus and commitment are needed from both people to make a difference, but you might consider couples or marriage counseling to resolve your differences. Some couples benefit from spiritual advice from a religious figure such as a pastor or rabbi.
Try using Helpguide's Emotional Intelligence Toolkit, a free utility for building emotional health and emotional intelligence.
The wife on the other hand believes that she gets over issues pretty fast than he does and thus communication rarely works.
Beginning couple’s therapy is never an easy task and thus requires a lot of courage and faith.
Literally, your therapist will help you understand the negative patterns and how they manifest in your relationship. On the other hand, the wife freezes because of his intensity and the only way she can cope is to avoid contact with him. Going back to our couple, we found out that the family teachings that they both received while growing up were different. Remember that changes are tailored towards some particular dynamics as a couple particularly so that you can maintain them for a longer period of time.
On the other hand, the wife learned to communicate effectively with him and thus they were able to resolve their issues easily. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.
When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. However, as time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together.
It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.
Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress, and work through issues more easily. If it’s something you do together, you also learn more about your partner and how he or she likes to have fun.
As long as you are communicating, you can work through whatever problem you’re facing. For a relationship to work well, each person has to be receptive to sending and receiving nonverbal cues. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to directly express your needs to avoid any confusion.
But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you. It’s all right to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don’t simply ignore it, but instead address it with your partner. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. Both parties need to be willing and able to honestly communicate what he or she needs, face the issues that arise in counseling, and then make the necessary changes.
This tends to work best if both persons have similar convictions of faith and have a good relationship with the spiritual advisor. This in-depth course provides articles, videos, and audio meditations designed to help you put the skills of emotional intelligence and communication into practice. For example, someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one may need counseling to help him or her process the grief. This site is for information only and NOT a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.
This reprint is for information only and NOT a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. This however does not solve anything and instead makes the husband more intense and frustrated. In fact, a therapist would emphasize the strengths in your relationship and equip you with tips on how to nourish it. While the husband was taught that one should not go to bed angry, the wife believed in not holding on to things. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.

You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.
Take some time to learn your partner’s cues, and be sure to communicate your own as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can.
Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort. If your loved one needs help, don’t feel like you are a failure for not providing him or her everything he or she needs. is an ad-free non-profit resource for supporting better mental health and lifestyle choices for adults and children. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. However, it was not long before they realized that they needed a solution as soon as possible. Consequently, the husband interprets her distance as a sign that she does not care about him.
Similarly, things could be getting out of hand and perhaps you are even planning for a divorce. For example, one person might find a brief massage after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to talk over a hot cup of tea. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. No one can fulfill everyone’s needs, and getting the right help can make a tremendous difference in your relationship. These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks. Getting in the habit of expressing your needs helps you weather difficult times, which otherwise may lead to increasing resentment, misunderstanding, and anger. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.
If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.2. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. Holding the Relationship HostageWhat It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself.
But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing.
One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.4. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you.
When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), you will develop codependent tendencies. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment.
There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner.
If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses.
But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example. Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship.
Communicate!There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment. But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues.
Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good.
If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line.

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