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admin | How To Get Even With Your Ex | 12.06.2015
A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.Arnold H. It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.
If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. As flawed as you might be, as out of place as you sometimes feel, and as lacking as you think you are, you don’t have to hide all the imperfect pieces of yourself from a true friend.  They see your flaws as features that make you interesting and beautiful.
The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations.  True friends love and appreciate each other just the way they are.
True friendship and good character is all about how a person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable and can give very little in return.  Thus, it’s not who’s standing beside you during good times, but the ones who stick by you through tough times that are your true friends. When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person – you’re both lying and being unfriendly to YOU. If you know someone who avoids the truth by telling you only what you want to hear, they do so for their own benefit, not yours.  They are not a true friend and they don’t deserve to be treated as such.
If you think about the people who have had the greatest positive effect on your life – the ones who truly made a difference – you will likely realize that they aren’t the ones that tried to give you all the answers or solve all your problems.  They’re the ones who sat silently with you when you needed a moment to think, who lent you a shoulder when you needed to cry, and who tolerated not having all the answers, but stood beside you anyway. A true friend who understands your tears and troubles is far more valuable than a hundred friends who only show up for your smiles and joys.  Because a true friend accepts who you truly are, and also helps you become who you are capable of being. What would you add to the list?  What’s one thing a true friend would never do?  Leave a comment below and let us know. The first and most resounding response I have for that is never keep a friendship out of fear of the consequences.
To me, that’s insecurity and selfish behavior, she is the only one who can overcome those problems, you can only help her so much but the real effort has to be on her part to change that.
You have turned yourself into a doormat by letting her mistreat you like this and worrying about what other people think of you.
Our lives have moved on…but not once has this person ever tried to contact me or apologize for her anger.
A true friend is with you in the dirt, when things get ugly and they help pull you through it and are there to hug you and love you for exactly who you are. A true friend tells you everything they need to get out and trust you to not do tell anyone else, and will also do the same to you. I was just going to your site and considering sending a note to ask for advice on a friend who recently unfriended me in life and blocked me on facebook for her perception of a situation that’s not about her and is not at all accurate. My friend of only a few years now recently got offended about something a friend posted on facebook that had nothing to do with me or her and instead of addressing it with the person she was frustrated with, took it out on me (this is the tiniest of a nut shell version I can offer because the full story is not only long and totally confusing but also frankly baffling as well). This is someone who I’ve been there for from the beginning through all her hard times. When you notice somebody is using a person who is down on their luck to do odd jobs for very little money, maybe you should think about that. I have learned a lot about so called friends since I became disabled from a sports injury…it is a hard lesson to learn but it has made me reach inside myself to acknowledge it was not my faults but theirs !


A true friend doesn’t listen to an apology when you screw up and then make you jump through hoops for weeks on end and act in a passive aggressive manner in order to punish you further.
A true friend is with you in the dirt, when things get ugly and they help pull you through it and are there to hug you and love you for exactly who you are”. A true friend won’t manipulate you or use sexual coercion to get what they want or progress a friendship. A true friend will still be a true friend even if their significant other does not like you. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. I think the only way to do that is by leaving her behind as you’ve already said that she refuses to listen to you.
And a true friend does not cause you to attempt suicide just because she can’t be bothered to take time to listen to you or help you, even if it just means offering a shoulder to cry on. My friend just lost it and took all her anger out on me…Never let me help her-even after I had helped her during evacuation-Nothing I could do or say would help her. I am all too familiar with your talking points as I’ve experienced it all and then some. She proclaimed out of the blue that we are no longer friends and I was shocked to say the least. We became friends really quickly, have a lot of mutual friends now and stupidly, this is going to complicate things. I do tend to reach out and make peace regardless of the situation because I hate ongoing conflict. I admit I was weak and fearful but no friend pressures another friend to do anything they don’t want to do and was clear about it before and when they asked. I would add that a true friend will also want to talk with you about misunderstandings or conflict.
I have a friend who tells other people about the stuffs that I really don’t want her share with others. I unintentionally posted a picture with a caption that she interpreted as an insult to bullied LGBT people. Friday or Saturday night, or if you see them on Friday night, they have plans to meet someone else afterwards and you’re not invited. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.
I can tell her that I want to restart so she can fix her mistakes(faking depression, making fun of me, telling my secrets to everyone,) but she won’t listen until I want to be her BEST friend again.
They aren’t jealous when you have a happier, more interesting life when you work on it and they do not. I cannot possibly tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom and how they continually help me.
We were bullied before, and i know that she knows that I would never ever post something that are against what we believed in.
This article helps me realize who my true true friends are on who I can always, without any doubt whatsoever count on – any day, any time for anything. This has not happened often, but it makes me feel like I cannot even say anything without feeling worse after I talk with her. I understand if she got really hurt because she thought that I was referring to her but come one.


Now $hit has really hit the fan with a terminally ill member in my family…she has not been there for me. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.2. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship.
And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. Holding the Relationship HostageWhat It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.4.
You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), you will develop codependent tendencies. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment.
There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses.
But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example.
Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship. Communicate!There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment. But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues. Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good. If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line.



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