What to do when your boyfriend angry with you,meet a nerdy girl games,how to win a guy back after being dumped quotes - For Begninners

admin | How To Get Even With Your Ex | 11.04.2015
You know, with every rational atom in your body, that it is important to find out how much money you have left. OK, it COULD be the Lotto calling you to say that you’re now a millionaire because of a ticket someone bought in your name.
And then the process of trying to put it in the bin while simultaneously running away from it. Although I’ve written about anger before, I’m always happy to extoll the virtues of this incredible emotion.
We teach our children not to be angry and that anger is wrong (instead of discouraging certain displays of anger, we demonize the emotion itself). We punish displays of anger, instead of getting to the root of the problem, encouraging people to try and simply control their behavior instead of the underlying causes.
We fail to teach our children how to deal with anger properly and constructively, thereby giving them no outlet for this emotion and shutting down the process of empowerment. As you may have gathered, I consider this a systemic problem, at the root of much of society’s ills.
What most people think of when they hear “anger” is actually suppressed anger – powerlessness that has been squashed due to a belief that showing any signs of being angry is BAD. If you’ve ever seen a small child playing with a toy he’s not yet quite ready to master, you may have witnessed natural anger.
If the child, however, is stopped from having such a release, if he is punished for or discouraged from crying and pouting, he will then get the idea that something is wrong with him. On a smaller, every day scale, this can take the form of bitchy, little, passive aggressive comments, temper tantrums and of course, alcohol fueled assholiness. The problem with repressing anger until it can’t help but explode out of us is that, as I said, we tend to come to our senses after the first initial bit of pressure has been let out and, in an attempt to be socially acceptable and not get into trouble, we shut down the anger release. Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be improving because, although he’s releasing anger, he’s only letting it out in little explosive bursts. Fortunately, there’s a pretty simple solution to all this:  All your boyfriend has to do is allow himself to have a constructive anger release (or 20). Basically, if your boyfriend realizes that anger is actually a healthy emotion, and then creates an environment in which he can display his anger safely, therefore allowing him to let the release come to its full conclusion, the underlying powerlessness will be shifted. I truly believe that suppressed anger is responsible for much of the violence in this world, although that doesn’t mean I excuse it.
I know, I went a bit overboard in answering your question, Awesome Brie (I hijacked your question to make a bigger point). This is going to sound weird, but if you want to help your boyfriend, you can do so by actually encouraging his anger. The reason I’m telling you this story is twofold: One, I want you to understand that anger is normal and healthy and we all experience it. The second reason I wanted to share this story with you is to illustrate how freeing it is when you’re in the presence of people who get it. I read your explanations about anger with great interest…and it’s indeed very very lightening! I’ve covered this issue in other posts (I can only do so much in one post, although I sure do try to cram as much as possible into each, lol).
Ironically, the more suppressed anger a person has the more likely they are to have outbursts.
The problem with anger is that while it is more empowered than depression, in that is is actively reaching for relief, it is still a disempowered state, because it stems from the idea that external circumstances cause us react a certain way, when really we are in control the whole time. I have been teaching my son about anger and I told him that anytime he feels really angry to punch his pillows or the couch. Since my hubby also used to hold in his anger, that was pretty much the end of that conversation.
I want to talk about a worse case scenario situation and what you should do if you are faced with it. For many visitors to this website being blocked by an ex is the absolute worst thing that can happen. The truth is that I have seen hundreds of women be blocked by their exes and I never quite know what to say to them. Many of you who are avid readers of my site understand that the main purpose of this site is to help you get your ex boyfriend back.
Well, winning an ex back is a very complex process (especially if you were blocked.) Of course, in an effort to bring you more value I put together an E-Book that you can follow step by step to achieve this goal. However, the issue that you are running into is that he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons. Ok, a woman who visits this site and reads about the no contact rule will probably want her ex boyfriend back. The challenge that you are going to faced with is to determine if he is worth the effort required to turn his bad feelings into good feelings but more on that later.
For now I would like to dive a little deeper into the mindset of a man who has blocked you.
My point here is that what I talk about on this page may be hard to hear but it is going to prepare you and maybe get some light bulbs to go off. If you are wondering about my particular situation I wasn’t actually officially dating the girl I blocked. Here is the main point I am trying to make about your ex boyfriend blocking you in this instance.
It hurts because every time he does his feelings for you surface and maybe your relationship was very painful to him. No matter what there are always going to be those ex boyfriends out there that will hold things against you and look for revenge.
One thing that we already know is that a man who blocks you to get back at you or to hurt you is not being mature about the situation. If an ex boyfriend blocks you to get revenge or to hurt you then one thing you already know right off the bat is that he is being very immature about the breakup.
This first thing I want you to get through your mind is that USUALLY not all of the blame goes on him for wanting revenge.
Of course, most men are dumb and they fail to realize that they aren’t the only ones with eyes. Hmm… perhaps I should be role playing here because this may be a little complicated to explain without the proper context. While most women may not mean it when they say it, I know you well enough to know that you are serious about it. The second thought that I will have relates to what I was talking about above (with you being pretty, liking the attention and flirting with other guys.) You see, all throughout our relationship I hated that you flirted with other guys. This is one of those very rare occasions where actions don’t match up with the truth of how a man would be feeling about the situation. If your ex boyfriend were to block your phone number and you went crazy on Facebook trying to contact him the fact that you want to be in touch with him so badly will feel good to him because it means you want him. Remember above when I was talking about how I was actually glad that I was immature in my first relationship because it forced me to evolve and become a more mature human being and I could bring more to the table in the future?
Well, it could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend hasn’t gone through this evolution yet. Where him blocking you because it hurts to talk to you has a lot to do with the emotions he has towards you and him blocking you to cause you pain is done from a place of anger, him blocking you because he never wants anything to do with you again is done from a place where you have pushed him to the point of no return. In other words, him blocking you because he never wants to talk to you again is the worst case scenario for pretty much everyone reading this page.
Speaking from personal experience there have been times where I have become so angry that I threw logic out of the window completely. About four years ago I was dating a girl and we got into a fight (like couples tend to do.) It was four years ago so there are a few things that you need to understand. Look, while I may have thought those horrible things in my head if you were to go deep inside my mind at the time I really didn’t mean any of them. No matter how you slice it a breakup is a highly emotional situation and it is almost a guarantee that things are going to be said (from both sides) that neither person means. So, lets say that your ex boyfriend said this to you after your breakup and a day or two down the road you realized that your number has been blocked on his phone.
You remember that whole “when emotions run high, logic runs low” speech I gave you at the beginning of this section right? Well, the thing about emotions running high and logic running low is that eventually logic does return to run the show.
The infographic above is actually kind of cool because you can see the progression from anger back to logic. What I am going to do now is go through the entire progression in the picture so you can understand exactly what is happening in his mind. I said that in about 60% of the cases an ex boyfriend will end up getting back in touch with you after he blocks you. For every women reading this page having this happen is the worst possible outcome that they can think of. It is at this point that I would like to admit that I have actually blocked people from my life that I was serious about never talking to again and to this day I haven’t ever talked to them. Lets start with the ex girlfriend first since I am sure that she is the one that you really want to hear about. The thing you have to understand about this girl was the fact that the two of us just weren’t a good match for each other. After we broke up I made a decision to block her so I wouldn’t even be tempted to get back into that situation ever again. Maybe me blocking her was done from a mindset of emotion as opposed to logic but in all honesty I am glad I did it because there was no way that I could have been happy with her.
So, basically I decided to block my ex because I determined that there was no way that she could improve my life. My second story of blocking someone was completely different but just as important because it can give you some important insight into how men think. However, this friend who had feelings for me pushed me to that point very quickly when she started harassing me.
Every time I would tell her in a very nice way that I think she should move on she would harass me. Once I told her this she settled down for a little while until I didn’t text her back immediately and then the harassment resumed. Now that you have a better understanding of why an ex boyfriend may block you I would like to turn your attention to HOW an ex can block you.
As always, I am going to go in great detail into each of these methods so you can fully understand the situation you have found yourself in. I would say that an ex blocking you from his phone is the most common thing that I hear about when I talk to women on this site.
Well, getting blocked is never a good thing but I will tell you that if you get blocked from his phone don’t think the world is over. Now, I don’t know your situation specifically but what I do know is that if your ex blocks you through Facebook it is not a good thing.
When you block someone from your phone (at least on the iPhone) it isn’t really that hard to unblock them. In my view these are all the same as text messaging (with the exception of Snapchat.) What you need to keep an eye out for is if you are being blocked from his regular phone and from these little applications. Still though, an ex boyfriend who blocks a girl is usually doing so through a highly emotional state.
Usually they communicate through talking on the phone, through Facebook or other social media outlets.
Essentially, this is where your ex boyfriend blocks you from his phone, through Facebook, through applications and through his email. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that some forms of blocking are worse than others.
Once you learn that you have been blocked by your ex boyfriend it is your job to figure out in how many ways you have been blocked.
Of course, I still haven’t told you what to do if you are faced with the worse case scenario of a full out blockage. I am going to say something that I have been putting off for a while now because it is going to be very hard for you to hear and you will probably hate me for it but it needs to be said. In other words, you are in the worst possible position because you are at his mercy completely. You are going to want to get in touch with him as soon as possible in any way you can possibly think of. I am not going to take the time explain what the no contact rule is since I talk about it so much on this site. Throughout this entire page I have thrown around a pretty interesting statistic relating to women who have been blocked. I have found, when talking to the women who have been blocked, that in 60% of cases their exes end up getting back in touch with them.
The no contact rule will force you to be patient and it will also prevent you from being tagged as that psycho ex girlfriend I talked about above. Right now you are conditioned to think about your ex boyfriend as opposed to thinking of yourself.
Make the necessary changes in your life to become incredible and make sure you let the world know about it on social media. This may be an embarrassing thing for me to admit but for years after I broke up with my ex girlfriend I would check up on her Facebook profile. Here is the interesting thing though, two years after the breakup occurred between us I didn’t have any feelings for her at all. Your in a better position than I was because the breakup between you and your ex boyfriend is probably still fresh which means both of you probably still have feelings for each other. You see, her mind was in the right place with the mutual friends but she didn’t really use the mutual friends in the right way. If you are betting against a message being sent like this then I think you owe me some money ?? . I would actually say that you want this message to be sent because it is going to force your ex to think about you. In fact, I would say only ask about him once and then move on to talking about something else.
Well, after the no contact rule is complete would be a great time to initiate a conversation. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I felt angry because I have always struggled with saying no, and this was exactly the type of uncomfortable encounter I generally aim to avoid. I felt angry because I felt misunderstood and judged, and I wanted him to realize that he was wrong about me.
I felt angry because I assumed he intended to be hurtful, and I didn’t feel like I deserved that.

I ended up responding to his email fairly quickly with a little bit of defensiveness, albeit with restraint.
It’s inevitable that I’ll feel that way again—and many times, with people I know well and love. Oftentimes when I’m angry I feel the need to act on it, but later I generally wish I’d waited.
You can get yourself all revved-up, stewing in righteousness and mentally rehashing all the ways you were wronged.
Is it really what someone else did, or are you feeling angry because of what you’re interpreting their actions to mean? If you’re angry with someone for doing something that you’ve done many times before, your feelings may be magnified by seeing a behavior of your own that you’re not proud of. Now that you know more clearly what part the other person played in your anger and which part is more about you, write a letter to him or her. You could also send the letter you wrote, but it will be easier to clarify parts the other person doesn’t understand if you’re having a direct back-and-forth exchange.
So instead of saying, “You didn’t show up so you obviously don’t care about me,” say, “When you forget about the things that are important to me, I feel hurt.” In this way, you’re not assuming the other person meant to make you feel bad—you’re just explaining how it makes you feel so they can understand how their actions impact you. Sometimes one annoyance can open the floodgates to a laundry list of complaints—but no one responds well to a barrage of criticism. If your goal is to get the other person to admit that they’re wrong, you’ll probably end up in a power struggle. This situation taught you something useful about what you value in the people you choose to be friends with—maybe directness, humility, or loyalty.
It might be something you need to improve your relationship, or it might be that you need to end a relationship because you know it doesn’t serve you. This experience was an exercise in expressing yourself in the best way to be heard and understood. Maybe you reacted too quickly, so now you’ve learned to put more space between your feelings and your response. You probably realized somewhere along this journey that you played some role in the situation. If that’s likely what you’ll feel when you realize time is running out, why not express it now, while you can still enjoy the peace it will give you?
About Lori DescheneLori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Breathing deeply and counting to ten, just trying to de-escalate the situation really helps me. If we can refrain from lashing out and instead seek to understand and help, usually the situation will solve itself. I struggle with saying no and struggle with asking for a favour also, so much so that I avoid people, have become completely self-sufficient and quite a boring person! Thank you for your article, it is going to be a valuable resource for me in the very near future!
This was a great piece, Lori.  I can only imagine how many emails you get asking for help, support, money, etc.
What wonderful suggestions – thank you for creating such a thoughtful and caring site. Also, after reading the intro, I realized that your situation was pretty similar to what my friend faced recently.
People will feel more and more powerless under a dictatorial regime, for example, until it simply becomes too painful to sustain.
This is what we see when we witness violent rage, people hurting others, bullying, destruction of property, and the aforementioned beheadings.
Generations of powerlessness, locked in due to an inability and reluctance to release anger, have filled our prisons, kept huge segments of our population in poverty and caused more suffering than all other belief systems combined. The child will NOT have decided that the toy doesn’t work the way he wants to because there’s something wrong with him.
He has been given the confusing message that following the natural process of feeling better is bad, that his emotions are bad, and that he is, therefore, bad. In other words, when your boyfriend explodes, he’s letting off some of this built up steam.
Because we don’t know how to let the anger out constructively (most people don’t even know that this is possible), we never actually complete the shift from powerlessness into empowerment. I actually wrote a whole blog post on how to do this, which you can read here: What To Say When Others Won’t Let You Be Angry. But helping people understand the power of constructive and healing anger is a total passion of mine. Not one of the members of our little group tried to shut down my anger release (for the record, I wouldn’t have let them. I saw a glimpse of the future, of what it will be like when most people understand their emotions and how to connect to one another authentically. Unfortunately, its good stuff like this, that goes against the grain of what society and the media often tells us, that we need to see more of. I have bumped into your blog only a few weeks ago, and the more I read from you, the more I feel lucky to have met you. Not that we manifest the anger in the other person, but rather that we have brought that angry person into our lives for some reason.
He was never violent toward me and I was never afraid of him, but I just got tired of the never-ending drama and finally left.
I grew up in the typical household where anger wasn’t expressed and if you did, you were always told to calm down.
I was just scrolling through and I saw my name, then the topic and densly thought hmmm, this is ironic. Since 90% of the visitors to Ex Boyfriend Recovery want their ex boyfriends back I want to stay with that line of thinking. In fact, upon research it seems that no one online knows what to do when faced with this situation.
While I can’t guarantee your success 100% of the time I can tell you that many women (who have been blocked) have used my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO to win back their exes.
I guess if there was ever going to be a positive reason for an ex boyfriend to block you this would be it.
So painful that he doesn’t want to remember it right now so he chooses to block you out of his life. So, while this is probably the best outlook for being blocked it is still never a good thing.
I know that is an absolutely horrible thing for me to say but I am actually not ashamed about it. Nevertheless, the immature idiot that I once was, was important because it taught me how to evolve into a more mature man. Like I said above, at one point in my life I went through a phase where I would have had no problem doing this. However, what I would like to do is give you some insight into what factors caused him to have these feelings of vengeance. Sure, there are cases where your ex boyfriend is just a psycho and will want revenge because he is crazy. They will latch on to everything you did wrong in the relationship as a reason for revenge.
There are a few silver linings that I think are important to understand if an ex blocks you in this instance. While blocking an ex girlfriend is a bold action stating (GO AWAY) the ultimate truth could be that the man is just doing it so he can feel wanted by you… WAIT, WHAT? I did just that (said the most hurtful things possible.) I thought of every hurtful subject I could to twist the knife a little deeper. The only reason I verbalized any of those thoughts was because I got angry and was looking for a way to hurt my girlfriend. Emotions reign is only temporary and logic is usually left to clean up the mess that emotion made. Remember, the way this usually works is that your ex boyfriend will start off thinking with logic.
We fought constantly, we didn’t agree on a lot of serious issues and by the end the relationship was so toxic that I literally went to bed at night dreading the next day. Now, prior to this point I had only ever blocked one person in my entire life (that ex girlfriend I talked about above.) So, blocking someone from my life is very rare for me. She had pushed me to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I blocked her from everything and never talked to her again. If he does block you through both the applications and the big phone it is not a good sign. I have even heard some cases where he can block your mutual friends for a while so he doesn’t have to see you in person. If your ex boyfriend blocks you from his smartphone but he doesn’t block you from Facebook then technically you can still get back in touch with him through Facebook when you want.
If you are faced with a situation where you are blocked by your ex in every way then your options are very limited. While there are a few things you can do to influence his decision there isn’t really anything you can say to change his mind. Your ex blocks you (a strong statement from him saying that he doesn’t want to talk to you) and you decide that, that means you should try harder and confront him in person?
However, what I can do for you is give you a link to a new guide I wrote that really goes in-depth on my new view of the no contact rule.
These women didn’t have to do anything for their ex to get in touch it just happened all on its own. That tells me that your world doesn’t revolve around a guy and it also says that you have a lot of self confidence.
So, rather than sit in your room and cry about your situation I say you be proactive with the knowledge that he will be keeping an eye on you through Facebook. The two of us weren’t Facebook friends but her wall was semi public to where I could see the major events of her life. Curiosity is a powerful motivator and he will probably come snooping around in the near future to see how you are. So, what she decided to do was use her ex boyfriend and her’s mutual friends to pass a long letter to him. Once you are in his head curiosity will take hold and he may start spying on your Facebook profile or grilling your mutual friends on how you are doing. Enough time should have passed for him to calm down a little bit so if you play your cards right you could get a response.
But it’s not always been bad, we moved out of his parents house and got an apartment and everything.
Most of the time, we don’t know how to take control over it, or even worse, recognize it at the moment. The people pleaser in me wants to say yes to everyone, but the reality is that there is only so much time in the day—and we all have a right to allocate our time as best supports our intentions, needs, and goals.
Decide that you’re not going to do anything until the feeling has less of a grip on you.
Look for all areas where you may be projecting your own traits onto someone else to get closer to root of your feelings. Now that you’re clear about the role you played in your anger, initiate a verbal conversation about what bothered you.
It’s also possible that there isn’t a right or wrong, but rather two people who see things differently and need to see each other’s point of view.
Focus instead on what you’d like to change in the future—for example, you’d appreciate it if she would come straight to you next time instead of complaining about you behind your back. This will help you decide which people you might want to spend more or less time with going forward. There will definitely be more situations like this in the future, so this is good practice for misunderstandings and struggles to come. Maybe you got defensive, and the other person shut down, so you’ve learned to be less accusatory in the future. To strengthen your relationships, get her new book, Tiny Buddha's 365 Tiny Love Challenges. The fact that someone says no to my request doesn’t mean I should not have asked in the first place. I may want to please people I care about, but I don’t have to please them all the time. If I say no to people and they get angry, that doesn’t mean that I should have said yes.
This is quite helpful as a way to see what others are doing that might even be similar to some one that angers us.
The hermit theory sounds attractive but having tried it has only resulted in teaching more. I find that when I write out a letter like this, I often include way more detail than I really need to communicate to the other person. I’ve been through my share of those, and I know how difficult it can be to stay centered and find peace when there are challenges and unknowns. I’ve had a lot of anger (or irritation, annoyance) that comes around quite a bit for me around one person. People are used to getting their way when they ask a woman to go that extra mile and we’re taught to submit and so it.
When we are able to self-soothe, usually our thinking about the situation and empathy toward others and the situation changes immediately. Tariq and I was really angry at someone last night and we found it SO hard to control our anger.
Sitting with feelings has never been my strong suit, but I know that when I resist the urge to act on them, they seem to have less power.
What about if someone is driven to explosive anger with nothing in between rational and angry?
When you’re stuck in depression or sadness, for example, and you reach for a better feeling vibration, it will be anger that comes up for you. At that point, they finally allow their rage to come out, and they go and overthrow the government, or behead someone, or organize themselves into unions. In our society, we tend to think that those destructive anger releases are what all anger looks like, but that’s actually incorrect. When we allow anger to flow freely, in its natural state, it takes seconds to move from a place of powerlessness to empowerment. It was the ability to release anger in a healthy way, to shift to a better feeling energy, that prevented the forming of the limiting belief.
It would be more accurate to state that ANY failure to allow ANY emotion will lead to the formation and retention of resistance.

The source of the powerlessness (which is what the anger was designed to shift) hasn’t been released.
The fact that almost all of his emotions are being released as anger would indicate that he’s been suppressing it for a long time.
You may be exhausted and tired or even just kind of numb (releasing large amounts of repressed anger can lead to the Void), but you don’t have to “pull yourself together”. The trick is for him to notice when he’s being triggered and then allow that anger to be released in a constructive way (I explain how in the anger post I linked to above).
But, I also believe that if you are taught to release your anger in a violent way, you’re going to be very prone to doing the same. You asked if your boyfriend was actually getting in touch with his emotions or being selfish. Your anger will become less volatile, less explosive and the things that make you angry will change.
I experienced safety among a group of strangers, people I hadn’t known for more than a few days, but who were so in touch with their inner beings that they all intuitively knew how to support me. There is sometimes the sense that we should try to rid ourselves of it completely or always try to express it in some other way, but it can be very helpful emotion when used constructively, like you said. One way I vent myself constructively is through, meditation, and talking to the universe and spirit guide(s) about it.
I have however a question: you always stand by the angry person (who doesnt like to have his anger suppressed).
I acknowledge to myself that I am angry, and I may say it out loud, but I also acknowledge that any anger I feel is 100% my deal. Every time a woman comes to this site and decides to implement the no contact rule she is technically obssessed with her ex boyfriend. Sure, maybe there were some really bad fights and the relationship wasn’t as strong as she thought but if she is willing to try the no contact rule then deep down she really wants things to work and probably still loves her boyfriend. Some of the women I blocked were exes and some of them were just friends that pushed me to the point where I couldn’t deal with them anymore. Essentially how this works is that every time your ex talks to you on the phone or through text messaging it hurts him. Maybe he is obsessed with you for the right reasons but it simply hurts too much to talk to you. Look, the thing you have to understand about men is that it is rare for us to be mature about our first few relationships.
I looked back and was disappointed with how I acted and I actively worked to make sure I didn’t repeat those mistakes ever again in my future relationships. However, I am playing the role of an idiot boyfriend here so I don’t look at it that way.
There are two things that will go through my mind when I decide to make the decision to block for this specific reason. This anger signifies when the logic switch is turned off and when the emotion switch is turned on.
While logic is slowly retaking the battlefield some of the good emotions are starting to kick in. In fact, it means that 40% of exes could be serious about blocking you and may never want to talk to you again. First though, lets take a look at all the ways that an ex boyfriend can block you from his life. Most people don’t just hand out their numbers and they sure as heck put some thought into who they are blocking from their phones. As I said above, around 60% of exes do end up getting back in touch after they block their significant other.
While there is still a 60% chance that he will unblock you down the road he may be more serious about the blocking if he takes the time to block you on all these little applications as well.
Knowing what options you have is important because those options are going to determine how you play the game.
Look, I am a fan of letters but the only time that they ever mean something to me is when I am dating someone. I want you to remember this attitude because it is going to be extremely important for you to have for what I say next. Of course, the world isn’t over so you decide to hang out with a few mutual friends that you and your ex boyfriend have.
The one day he got the courage to tell me he needs a break or whatever and that he would still let me stay at home so I could have a home because I have no friends and barely any family and none I could stay with. We’ll all have lots of misunderstandings and annoyances, and lots of opportunities to practice responding to anger calmly and productively. In the end, we’re the only ones responsible for our mental states, so this is a great opportunity to practice regulating yours. It could be that someone’s actions were the straw that broke the camel’s back, but not fully responsible for creating these feelings.
This is to help you clarify what exactly you’d like that person to know, understand, or change. You can help facilitate this by owning some responsibility—that you will listen if he comes to you instead of getting emotional.
Once you own your part, now you can use that knowledge to create more peaceful relationships going forward. When something happens that doesn’t mirror back who we think we are, our ego scrambles to realign us. Sometimes I feel such instinctive resistance to saying no, as if I need to overextend myself or I won’t be loved. The more I’ve looked at it, I see that the anger is a symptom of other things in life .
After talking about it together and realizing that the culprit was the one having problems, not us or anyone else in the room, things started to mellow down. Just FYI, I linked this article to it to help my readers take action in controlling their anger. My boyfriend expresses all emotions other than happiness as anger, no matter what he is feeling; fear, anxiety, impatience, frustration, etc… If this anger is actually helping him be in touch with his true feelings, when will he constructively react to life?
Think of it this way: if you’re cowering in the corner and you’re being beaten up, it feels a hell of a lot better to get mad, stand up and fight back. Anger is what gets you to quit that job you’ve hated for years or finally stand up to your mother in law. A blanket belief that inhibits our ability to shift those powerless beliefs does far more damage. But, providing he hasn’t already picked up limiting beliefs about anger, the tantrum will be over quickly. Are you beginning to get a glimpse of just how powerful and important a healthy relationship to anger is? The beauty of it is, though, that once he’s let go of at least some of the pressure, his anger releases will become far less explosive. They knew that my emotional reaction had nothing to do with them, and that nothing had gone wrong.
I thank him for that, but have never and will never allow anyone to monopolize my life again with that kind of energy. I do not have to vent it any other way, and a casual observer would not even realize I am angry.
Now that I let it out in a constructive way, it washes over me pretty quickly and then I can figure out what’s being brought to my attention. He is on her mind the second she wakes up for the day, the second she gets in her car to go to work and the second she closes her eyes to go to sleep. As a guy let me tell you it is a very humbling feeling when one moment you are on top of the world because you think a pretty girl is falling for you and then BAM!! In other words, being immature at first was essential for me to evolve into a more mature and classy human being.
Of course, I am all about turning negatives into positives so the thing that you have to understand is that very rarely do men communicate with their girlfriends through email.
At first I was calm but then I started freaking out, I really love this man to death and I know he loves me too it’s just that my anger towards him was taking a toll. Thank you for sharing and turning your negative experience into positive energy by using it as an example for others to learn from.
The anger is what makes it possible to move from that powerless, “I just have to sit here and take this” place into “I’ve had enough of this! He’ll go through the process of feeling powerless (I can’t do this!) to anger (shifting out of powerlessness) and into recovery (moving on to play with something else) in a short amount of time.
But there’s a difference between teaching a child that hitting (the anger display) is wrong, and making the entire emotion wrong (it’s wrong to be angry). Selfishness would imply that he’s aware that he could truly feel better but is choosing not to.
If someone is making you uncomfortable, honor yourself and get away from them until you can resolve it.
However, I did mention above that if an ex blocks you it probably means that a part of him is obsessed with you. We are all human beings after all and the thing about human beings is that none of us are perfect.
I wasn’t always angry either just once in a while but when I was I was mean to him despite everything he has done for me.
Recognize the sensations in your body and breathe into those areas to clear the blockages that are keeping you feeling stuck. The former does, of course, require more effort since the parent or authority figure now has to offer an alternative way to release the anger, which can be a challenge when their upbringing was based on the same anger-demonizing beliefs.
During this type of anger release, the urge to relieve the pressure can be so great that the person literally loses their ability to think straight.
If the person is then punished for that display of anger and made to feel even more powerless, the degree of the pressure can actually be increased (think of prisons as big, giant, pressure cookers), causing once relatively minor outbursts to turn violent. This doesn’t mean that your boyfriend will necessarily become violent (it’s all a matter of degrees). This gave me the freedom to really feel my own emotions without having to worry about anyone’s feelings getting hurt (nothing quite like having to babysit someone through your own anger release…) Even though I never directed my anger AT anyone, most people are so uncomfortable with anger that they try to shut it down even if the person is just keeping to themselves. He saved me from homeless ness and brought me to his parents home as a stranger one year ago from May 3rd, 2016. We overreact, we cry for no reason, we have a bad day and usually our partner is the one to suffer from it. Good job for sticking to your guns and for letting the rest of us in on how to overcome the anger, either with ourselves or with someone else. No one consciously chooses to stay in suffering when they see a valid (to them!) way to stop it.
I was allowed to go through my process, while being a part of the group and benefiting from their energy.
Not running means that you don’t honor yourself enough to take yourself out of that situation, and THAT will continue to manifest in your life in the forms of various types of abuse. Instead of putting it all on him, we should give our best and always, always be kind and try to solve the situation with peaceful talking.
As you say, the remedy is to accept what it is that we are feeling, take responsibility for creating it and remember, nothing is personal. You’ll understand what the anger was actually about (it’s hardly ever about the thing that triggered it), and you’ll be able to finally tell a new, better feeling story. If he has an intellectual understanding of the process, he’ll be much more likely to allow the full anger release.
In the interest of honesty, I must confess that by “some anger” I mean that I was so pissed off I actually wanted the waitress at the restaurant we were at to give us bad service so I could gleefully rip their face off (she did, and I didn’t).
I was able to move through the anger relatively quickly (it took me a couple of hours to really feel better) and by the next morning I’d fully cleared the underlying issue. He’s just letting off some steam, letting it re-build, only to blow his stack again a few days or weeks later. In any case, he’ll have to feel safe to let his anger out in order to allow it (this is why I usually recommend doing a constructive anger release while alone).
As these people saw me as a disposable punching ball, they kept puking their anger on me whenever they needed to puke. Every time he thinks about you he is not filled with good feelings he is filled with annoyance. Take your notebooks, write down all of these 10 things you should never ever say out loud to your boy.
Creating an environment in which anger can be expressed in a healthy way will also help you with your own anger issues (we’ve all got them; don’t even pretend you don’t). Of course, most of the time their anger was not about me, but targeting someone helped them fantasize that some of their issues would be carried by someone else (my interpretation).
He’s a very mature man and he IS NOT like most men, he cries and shows his feelings a lot and is compassionate.
Now, I think that this behaviour is both disrespectful and abusive, so I stop them anytime they try.
He made everything seem ok and that we had made up after he told me he might want a break but then the next day I drive him to work in a shared car that he took with him and I got to his parents house to talk to his sister, and then I go hang out with him on his lunch break and we are pizza that he bought for us and after he kisses me and tells me that he loves me.
I had no idea why I was so angry; the source of whatever powerlessness I was unleashing hadn’t revealed itself.
He was worried I would hurt myself because I always said that (wrong of me) or hurt him physically or whatever (which I would NEVER DO) anyways his sister and mom drives me to work at 10pm overnight shift and sister hugs me. They say they’ll be there for me in the morning to pick me up but then during my shift I kind of lost it telling the sister through text and him that I wanted to die and stuff so she called the ambulance on me. So then in the morning I get discharged from the hospital nobody is answering their phones and I live at least 45 minutes from the hospital. The mom and his sister had said everything would be okay and that I could still talk to his sister and his mom. After all this HIS aunt answers and she lets me come stay for a few days till I can get a ride home. We laughed a lot just like a day before all this and we have a lot of inside jokes always always even the last time we saw eachother told eachother that we love eachother and kissed eachother affection Was not lacking.
I haven’t contacted him now for like 4 to 5 days out of like 7 or 8 days of break up.

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