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admin | How To Get Your Guy Back | 27.06.2014
Before I go into the details of her situation I do want to say that often times I have no idea on whose question I am going to answer for the podcast. Other times I listen to each one very carefully one by one and pick out the situation that I think people would want to hear about the most. There was a lot of emotion in it and you could tell, just by listening that she wanted her ex boyfriend back. Welcome to the ex-boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve!
I asked him originally if when he got home, if I can have a month or so to work it out and not to give up on us. Hey, I wanted to take a moment and thank you Morgan for having the courage to tell your story. Today’s episode features a woman named Morgan who has a bit of a problem with her ex. But, so basically what this men could do to get their exes back as soon as possible and kind of the game plan I came up with, shortened the strategy that I teach on both website significantly but still the shortest strategy was 30 days.
Even as great as my advice may be and as many success stories as I have had over the last several years that I’ve been running these websites, even I can’t guarantee. Now, with that being said, if you’re willing to take a long approach, if you’re willing to accept, “Okay, I’m probably not going to get him back by 6 pm today but it doesn’t mean I’m out of the game. Now, that post a serious issue because one, she would never take me seriously as a suitor because I live in Texas and Pennsylvania is pretty much like 1700 miles away. So, I pretty much would be there alone the entire time and all we had was a desk with my computer on it to work and a TV and I remember literally just staring at the clock hoping it would be 5 pm or 6 pm and she would come home because it was sort of like being in jail for a little bit because I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I think just maybe, at his age, because he’s a lot younger than I was, I think maybe 5 or 6 years younger total of when I’ve ended up moving.
No contact rule is going to be essential for you but that’s pretty much essential for everyone but after that really everything follows the same strategy.
Then the next step is building attraction through text messages and then next step is to build attraction  through phone calls or Skype or Facetime or video chats and then the third step is the in person dates. Well, if you don’t have a lot of money, you probably work at a job that doesn’t pay a lot and probably works you like a dog. Now, if you knew a month ahead of time that you were going to meet you ex up at this certain date then the flights become a little bit more inexpensive which is kind of the strategy I would recommend for you to approach. Now, let me tell you a little bit more about my personal experience with this method because I have actually done this method with my wife.
Maybe you can try to set up kind of a critical mass of attraction through text messages and phone calls where you kind of have this unspoken agreement where you’re not going to talk to other people when you set up this date maybe a month in advance or something.
I had my wife’s family which now they are my real family because I married her but at that time it’s such a drastic difference because I didn’t have any friends besides my wife. So, getting the human element, hearing people talk about their exes and how much they want them back and how hurt they are by the break up.
We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career.
So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you.
That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood.
Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back.
Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right?
I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice.
Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice.
So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you.
So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. After waking up from an operation, and still hopped up on anesthesia, this kid tells his mom that he and "his boy, Rocco" killed people in Dubai.
Officials in Jackson, Mississippi, finally took action after residents threw a birthday party for a big pothole. Well, I already explained that it keeps the website up to date but as time moves on and I formulate more and more game plans for women and I see more situations I become better and better at helping people get their exes back. If you take my knowledge today and compare it to the knowledge I had when I first started this little website it’s like night and day. Anyways, you are probably getting tired of me talking so lets dive right in to the new way of looking at the no contact rule. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most important strategies that you can employ to get your ex boyfriend back.
When you look at the big picture of the overall strategy of getting a boyfriend back you can generally divide the strategy into three separate parts. This is usually the time where you are desperate to get your ex boyfriend back and you make every mistake in the book. It is also during this time that most women stumble upon Ex Boyfriend Recovery and actually learn about the no contact rule. This is the period of time when you are actually implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. If the no contact rule is going to eat up half of your overall strategy to get your ex boyfriend back then it’s kind of a big deal and you should fully grasp it.
When someone says the words “No Contact” what is the first thing that pops into your head? Basically the no contact rule is a period of time where you aren’t going to have any meetings, relationships or communications with a certain someone.
I want to make this as clear as possible because I get so many women who make this mistake. The no contact rule isn’t meant to be forever or until your ex boyfriend comes crawling back. However, in order for me to properly explain this effect we are going to have to do a little role playing. Well, lets pretend that you are implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and things are going well.
Before I dive in to this I think it’s my duty to explain what the no contact rule working actually looks like. Of course, since you are in the no contact rule you cannot break your silence so you do the smart thing and continue ignoring him. I think it’s safe to say that the no contact rule is having the effect on him that you were hoping. In order to understand what is going on inside the mind of a man during a successful no contact rule you need to understand a bit about the way humans are. One child is playing with a toy in a sandbox while the other child is playing with a toy as well. Well, the one child that is getting ignored probably is going to go crazy trying to get acknowledged.
Basically the baby went berserk trying to get the mothers attention when the mother went still. In a weird way I think this is happening inside men when they are ignored via the no contact rule. Women are always commenting that they don’t know why their ex boyfriend is reacting so crazily during the no contact rule. But did you notice what happened with the baby when the mother went from being “still” to being loving again? So, for those women who are worried that the no contact rule may be too harsh on their exes and that their exes will hold a grudge for the rest of their life I have two things to tell you.
From what I have seen from women who use the no contact rule it is rare for a man to hold a grudge. Now, another thing you may be wondering is why some men react sweetly during the no contact rule and some men react in a negative way. Notice how when the mother first starts ignoring her baby the baby doesn’t cry or throw a tantrum. The same can be said about men who are nice during NC and mean who are a tad mean during it. Some men determine that the best way to stop from being ignored by you is to be nice to you. Experts seem to be completely split when it comes to how long the no contact rule should be for.
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but the truth is that your ex boyfriend is unique. Before I used to be under the impression that the 30 day no contact rule was the way to go. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that if your no contact rule is longer than 66 days then you run the risk of having an ex boyfriend be over you and if he completely is over you by that point then it makes getting him back that much harder. You will notice that the three time frames that we are focused in on here are all below 60 days.
We don’t want to run the risk of having your ex boyfriend get out of the habit of thinking about you. But that still doesn’t help us determine which of the three rules is best for you, does it? However, lets say that you have a really good chance to get your ex back and you know in your heart that your situation is conducive to success.
Well, if that’s the case then I would say you can get away with the 21 day no contact rule.
For those of you women who are just trying to cut down on the time it takes to get an ex boyfriend back this isn’t going to help your chances. Remember, the only ones who should be allowed to use this no contact rule are the women with really good chances of getting an ex boyfriend back. Well, lets just say that they are either going to be in the 21 day rule or the 45 day rule below. So, that’s why I cut cheating down to the 30 day rule since it has more success there. Basically, the more time that goes by without you re-exhibiting the behavior the better because he will stop looking at you as a GNAT and you will have a better chance of getting him back. Now that you have a pretty good idea of what the no contact rule is lets talk about some of the wrinkles about it that none of the experts really touch on out there. Now, I want to preface this section by saying that I am not going to go as in-depth here as you like.
Because I have already written an uber in-depth article about how to handle just about every situation during the no contact rule. Nevertheless, I am going to add some new situations that I have covered in that article here.
For the record Jane is totally made up but her made up story based on real life is going to help me prove a point. One of the biggest reasons you do the no contact rule is so that you can get your ex boyfriend back so when that fantasy becomes a reality it’s ok to break no contact for that.
Lets say that you are using a 30 day no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and around day 4 or 5 he messages you and asks if he can get his things back from your place.
The inevitability of a couple exchanging things when together is very high so it makes sense that if things were exchanged he would want them back. I mean, it’s amazing how these two little versions of you and your ex can bring about conversations after a breakup.
The answer is yes but you are going to have to make some obvious adjustments for the kiddos. If your ex brings up the kids (or you are forced to bring them up) you can break the no contact rule for that. You are absolutely allowed to break NC and respond to it but you want to keep the interaction ONLY about the kids.
I HAVE talked about it quite a bit but I haven’t ever really put the pieces together for you all in one place.
On instinct most women guess that it’s to get their exes back and while the no contact rule can certainly be used for that there is another purpose of the no contact rule that hardly ever gets talked about.
The truth is that when I first started this website I really only focused on helping women get back with their exes but as I gained more and more experience and credibility I learned something interesting. Yes, it is a strategy that is meant to get your ex back but think about the time frame of the no contact rule. In many cases you are going to be waiting a full month before you can actively have a talk with your ex boyfriend. It means that you have a month of preparation to turn yourself into the best version of yourself and by doing that you will be actively working to get over the pain of the breakup. Winning a man back from a place of depression is a lot harder than trying to win him back from a place of happiness which is why I recommend self improvement during the no contact rule. The best way to get over the pain you are feeling is to focus on the things that you have control over. Right off the bat we know that we have 21 – 45 days before we have to talk to your ex so lets not just sit on our hands here during this time frame. We are going to go through the no contact rule from start to finish and show you what you are supposed to do every step of the way using a fake character that I am about to create. So, the first thing that Virginia is going to want to do is to determine which no contact rule time frame is best for her.
After much thought and deliberation Virginia has decided that she wants to embark on a 30 day no contact rule since she thinks that will give her ex enough time to miss her and give HER enough time to change her image completely.
There are a lot of ways that Virgina can improve herself during the 30 day no contact period.
What I am about to do now is something that I have never done here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery but I think it will be extremely helpful for you to see HOW the no contact rule will look from a birds eye view. Like I said above, I am going to be answering those questions today but I am going to be doing so in a very unique way.
I am going to be using a calendar to demonstrate what a perfect no contact rule looks like.
To be honest I don’t think there is much more set up that I can use for this so I am just going to dive right in. Now, I do know that a lot of you are using phones to read this article so hopefully you can see the calendar above because it’s kind of important.
You will notice that there are 30 days on this calendar and under each of the 30 days are little items ranging from workouts to learning a new language. Oh, also take notice on how every single day during this 30 day no contact period is jam packed with stuff to do. Of course, then there is the fact that every action found on the calendar serves one purpose, to help you become the best version of yourself.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. First he agreed but then changed his mind in things that we cannot be fixed because there was nothing wrong with our relationship. It just means I’m going to take a much different approach.” If you’re willing to accept that, I think I may have a game plan for you where you can be successful. So, my mindset at that time was a little bit more mature even though like I said, I was little naive and thought the move would be easy.
It could be millions of different reasons but what I personally think from drawing upon my own personal experience is he felt maybe a little uncomfortable in this new area and didn’t really quite have the guts to stick it out and set his roots his down and kind of normalize and it certainly takes some time to get there but you will get there eventually if you stick it out. And I like to teach these three date method where you go on a smaller date then a medium date then on a romantic date but that’s where the long distance relationship strategy kind of alters a bit because getting a date with an ex who’s states away isn’t easy.
Build up a critical mass of attraction in the texting phase and phone call phase and then when you have the critical mass built, I want you both to set a date and stick to the date where you go out and get plane tickets maybe a month away until where the plane tickets are affordable and you’re not paying—dropping $700 to a $1000 on a plane ticket for a weekend where you see your ex, where you’re not even guaranteed to get them back. Ultimately getting him back is going to be contingent on getting either together in the same state or working out some sort of commitment where you have a deeper commitment like marriage or something but no matter how you slice or dice it, you’re going to have to get back on the same state so, maybe that means you have to be willing to move to him.
I didn’t really know anyone again besides my wife and her family and I didn’t really have a support system to kind of fall back onto. I really tried to provide as much personal experience in everything as I could to your situation but if you’re asking my professional opinion as a relationship consultant. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to listen to me ramble on Morgan and all of you who are listening and listening to ramble on with Morgan, thank you so, so very much. It’s good for me to help me understand you better and as a result, hopefully I can just continue to give good advice to everyone who wants it. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person. That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else.
I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again. I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up.
She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. The Arizona student, who attended Red Mountain High School, exposed his genitals in his high schoola€™s varsity football team photo after being dared to do so by a teammate.
You know, the kind of website that has really good content for a few years and then all of a sudden just falls off the map. I am talking about mistakes like becoming a GNAT, having him perceive you a desperate and coming off as super needy. Well, generally women who decide that they do want to get their ex boyfriends back AND use the no contact rule to do so will spend half of their strategy in the no contact rule and half of their strategy outside the no contact rule. After much thought you determine that you want to do the 30 day rule so that means for the next thirty days you are going to be ignoring your ex in every shape or form possible.
The two children have been best friends for a very long time and are talking to each other. It basically consists of having a mother sit in front of a baby and start blankly at the baby with a still face.
I know I have said this a lot throughout this site but I am going to say it again because it’s that important. He is unlike anyone else walking this earth and that means that the no contact rule will have to be shaped to him. In my opinion, there are three optimum no contact times and which one you choose to use will depend entirely on your situation.
I used to think that situations where you cheated on an ex or did something horrible like that would be ideal for the 45 day rule but as I have seen more and more women embark on the rule in those instances I have found that more time tends to be more negative. This is the ring that your father gave you before he passed away so it holds a lot of sentimental value to you.
However, if you have just left some clothes or toiletries over at your exes you shouldn’t bother breaking the no contact rule to get them.
In other words, I want you to embark on the no contact rule the same way most everyone else would. Sometimes the best way to get an ex back isn’t just to focus on getting him back but to focus your energies inward. Look, I am not going to presume to know your entire situation with your ex like the back of my hand but I will tell you one thing. Lets do something that will actively increase your chances of winning him back AND help you get over that sinking feeling in your gut that you are feeling right now. The idea is to fill up your own personal calendar so much that you don’t even have time to text an ex.
I broke up with him because it was very clear that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship. Focus on being emotionally stronger, so whatever you happens, you can accept easier if it doesn’t work out.
Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for.
If you could please give me any kind of advice before 6 o’ clock, that would be amazing but if that’s not.
And we’re going to do everything we possibly can here in the ex recovery family to help you.


So, I understand that this is may be hard for you to hear because I think everyone who can listen to this and everyone who can you know, hear your voice knows that you’re in a really emotional spot right now and I can just tell you really want him back.
I’m just sort of the medium or the bridge between your mind and his mind and to what he may be thinking. So, the only way that we could make our relationship work is if I move to Pennsylvania and that’s what I ended up doing.
I think I read somewhere that I don’t know, it takes like a year and a half to—maybe even like 3 years I read one time, to like settle down when you are in a new place. And you know, my wife and I we weren’t married at that time but then we got married and we had a baby and our life turned out really, really incredible but it wasn’t easy that move. Well, to be honest with you, I’ll just approach this like a long distance relationship breakup.
The in person meet ups are a much bigger deal when it comes to long distance relationships.
You need to focus a lot of your time and effort into building attractions through those methods and then after you feel like you have built this critical mass of attraction, that’s when you push to meet up in either a neutral state or neutral place or you visit him or he visits you. If you have a job, you have to be willing to maybe take a vacation day or if you don’t have a job that’s great but that brings up to the next point, you need money. We obviously were trying to meet up because we were in a relationship maybe 6 months before I moved in with her. You know, set up a date where you visit each other and you know—with a normal break up I often say well, the best way to do is there’s got to be three dates, the small date, the medium date and the romantic date.
If he’s comfortable and you think you can undergo the physical and emotional stress of moving such a long distance and not knowing anyone and being alone in a certain extent, you’re going to have to try to take some of ‘those risks perhaps or you know it’s sort of a talk that you and your ex have to have when you get to that point but don’t ever talk about that until maybe you see him in person or you got him in the best possible mood you can possible get in and you’re far down the road in the ex recovery process. I think that’s a complete mistake because ultimatums never work and you are self imposing an ultimatum on you. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you.
I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person.
You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them.
If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. A But he promised me on his returnA back to the United States I would be the first media personality to interview him in New York City.A  I never will forget how confident he was that he would return victorious.
The photo was then published in the schoola€™s yearbook a€” somehow without a single person noticing.
Thankfully, Bloomberg Politics compiled all of them, named some of them, and set it all to the tune of that classic waltz, "The Blue Don-ube." Enjoy! In other words, once that time frame is up your no contact rule ends immediately and you start to go on the offensive to get your boyfriend back.
All of a sudden one child gets upset with the other one and decides to ignore the other child.
Assuming that it took him 66 days to get out of the habit of talking to you that would mean that a 90 day rule would far exceed that 66 day habit rule.
So, when the no contact rule starts affecting her ex in a positive way so much so that he decides that he wants to ask her to be back together she completely ignores him. The last two years haven’t been the best due to me becoming depressed due to my birth control pill. I have been working on myself, posting on social media, and I’m three weeks into NC and my ex texted me last night apologizing for hurting me and how he handled things. He wasn’t upset at all when I told him I thought we should break up and I got pretty mad and left.
He told me that while he wants to be friends eventually he needs a while before we talk again. Share or message your boyfriend with the best quotes to make him remember you all the time. We’re going to be talking about what to do if you find your ex boyfriend has become distant all of sudden.
If that’s too much notice, I understand but any help you could offer me would be so much appreciated. So, I guess, this is going to be kind of a unique episode because I’m going to be bringing a lot of my own personal experience to it because I feel like I can relate to your ex boyfriend on some levels but first things first, let’s talk about the 6 o’clock deadline. You really care for him and like I said, we’re going to do everything we can to help you but the first thing that I want to try to encourage you to do is not rush this process.
So, for your own peace of mind, just accept right now that he’s going to move back but that doesn’t mean that you’re helpless and that you can’t do anything about it. Now, I was maybe a little bit young and naive when I moved because I had just started to come into some success with the websites. So, what I’m thinking could have happened with your ex boyfriend is that he moved from Missouri, is what you said I believe, to Kansas and the transition was tough for him and maybe you were the one positive part of that move because it takes a while for a human being to kind of sit down under a roof and feel comfortable right?
My wife is the only reason I probably got through it but your boyfriend on the other hand, maybe he just got scared a little bit. You can just text them up and say, “Hey, you want a cup of coffee?”, “Sure, let’s go get a cup of coffee.” Well, you can’t really do that if you’re ex is a state away. Now, this poses a problem for a lot of people because I think a lot of the people, a lot of the women specifically who come to ex boyfriend recovery don’t exactly have a lot of money. I just felt like I was—just had my wife and that was it and it takes a while to build that stuff back up. I would say try to get him back, take the long game—if you’re trying to get him back, sorry. I really appreciate what you’ve done for my websites because without you these websites wouldn’t exist.
Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery.
So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date.
As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating.
It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
We’re going to be hearing from a woman name Morgan, who finds herself in a really interesting situation. I thought that was a great idea but when he got to Missouri, he started acting weird and distant. I don’t know what to do and I have until 6 o’clock tonight to find a way to influence him to not just leave and then at least hear me out. I know this podcast is geared towards women and women specifically on ex boyfriend recovery but ex boyfriend recovery isn’t the only website I own. I know it’s hard but trying to get him back in 2 hours and convince him to stop his entire plan of moving back from Kansas to Missouri is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible. So, maybe he latched onto you and you made him feel comfortable and then he went back to visit his parents and he felt their love and what it was like to be back home and you know he was thinking, “Man, this feels so great.” I don’t think it’s anything against you either Morgan.
You know, the answer is—the reason I think he may have potentially pulled something like this is because of the uncomfortableness of moving this big life change blah blah blah… We already got all that.
My wife and I just took a trip out to Florida to look for a house to buy and the trip to Florida was not inexpensive. It took me a good maybe two years before I felt like, “Okay, I feel like I’m kind of getting more at home here.” So, if you’re willing to take that kind of risk then I think you should maybe go full steam ahead with what I just tried to explain to you. I would say long distance relationships have the worst chance at success rates than some of the more general breakups just because of the distance can provide so many extra roadblocks to overcome. One of the things I liked about Morgan’s message was the fact that she kind of got choked up there at the end.
Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team.
Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest.
Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much.
I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy.
Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead.
Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially.
I lost myself in the relationship and stopped putting time and energy into the activities I enjoy.
I lost my sex drive, became very distant and cold, negative, slept all the time, didn’t want to get out of bed, and had no energy or motivation.
I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend and he told me that if he went his entire life only dating me he would regret it. I deleted his contact from my phone so its not as easy to text him (I have his number memorized but it makes it less convenient to reach out).
Now, he is telling me that he is not sure that he is in love with me anymore and he is returning to Kansas solely to get his stuff. Now, if you don’t want to take the long game, I completely understand but that’s what I’m going to encourage you to do. I thought I would move maybe from my parent’s house to an apartment, to a house and you know but all within Texas. I remember when we first moved into our apartment in Pennsylvania, we had no furniture and you know I worked from home and my wife at the time worked for an enterprise, a rental car company.
You may have been the perfect girlfriend but still like I said moving that long of a distance or moving and going through this drastic life changes can be really difficult on any human being not just your boyfriend or not just men in general. That doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re talking about long distance relationships because and often times, especially if you’re states away, you almost get only one chance, one shot at goal. That long distance way of getting your ex back Morgan but if you’re asking my personal opinion, I think if you can’t handle the fact that you’ll probably end up having to be the one to move to him in the end, I think maybe it might be time to just let him go and not think about it anymore. Not that I’m like kind of a dick about it like I like seeing people cry, I don’t but it makes me realize how serious people are about getting their exes back because sometimes I get a little removed from that. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations.
I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else.
Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course.
I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you.
Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. We want to get this episode out as soon as possible for Morgan, so she can get the advice that she needs to get her ex boyfriend back. I mean, I think on average this process can take between 45-60 days to get your ex back and for those who are listening who are just generally trying to get an ex back or just trying to get, I guess a boyfriend back in any situation you could think of.
She was like a manager there and so she would go to work, probably like at 6 am every single day and then get back at 6 pm or 7 pm. So, if you’re looking for reasons for why he may have broke up with you and why he maybe thinks you guys want different things out of life, it could be that he just doesn’t feel comfortable.
He is moving back to Missouri and you’re in Kansas, so you are basically, if you are going to try and get him back, it’s going to be like kind of a long distance relationship and as far as what to do with the long distance relationship.
Well, I try to see her at least once every single month but that required planning on both our parts.
You have to make your time with your ex as romantic as possible and you have to do a lot of things like leave him wanting more which is kind of a cool thing about long distance relationships. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much. Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. I told him that I completely understand why he left and apologized for hurting him as well. But just after two days of our relationship, he stepped back and called off our engagement and the upcoming wedding.
So, on my other website, I actually ended up writing this really interesting article where I took kind of a mock situation where I was thinking, “Well, I’m constantly getting this questions about people who want to get their exes back as soon as possible.” And they rush through the entire process and more often than not, they fall flat on their faces.
We needed to make sure that she could get time off and that you know, I guess I had the money to do it. I guess one of the biggest positives is a lot of the time that you get together in person is super romantic.
I’m not going to say it’s a great shot because I think him moving back to Kansas for you is not as likely and I don’t know how you feel about moving to Missouri and I feel like that’s a decision that you should come to on your own without any kind of prods or pushes from me. Not that my wife and I ever broke up but the long distance relationship itself is so difficult to manage that it feels like you’re going insane sometimes. I’m thinking about, “Ok, if you do this, this and this it’s going to equal this.” But sometimes it’s good to get the human element. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing.
To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything.
The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. I ended up reaching out to him on day 11 of NC (I know that’s bad) but we actually had a decent conversation. So, I took this mock situation to try to figure out what someone could do to get their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back, particularly their ex girlfriend since this was for the ex girlfriend recovery website. It takes time and commitment on your part and even then you’re not guaranteed to get an ex back because no one can guarantee you that. It was actually extremely difficult to move and a lot of times, I wasn’t as happy as I wouldn’t have been, if I hadn’t have moved.
So, yeah I think maybe that could have potentially be what’s going on here and why he’s wanting to move back home. So, if you—I guess what I’m trying to say is building this critical mass of attraction is essential but you know, if your ex is states away, then you’re going to have to catch  a last minute flight when you’re trying to ask for this date and last minute flights are typically notorious for being expensive. So, it wasn’t as much of an issue for me but she also had to come visit me and visit my parents. I’m just trying to tell you what I think and what I think is, I think in the future if you are to get him back, I think you would have to be the one to move to him.
I’m trying to give you a look at every single aspect of this situation and part of that is just me giving you my personal opinion on your chances. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one.
I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up. And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one.
For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this.
Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah.
So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process.
He has communicated numerous times to me what he was unhappy with but I just couldn’t understand since I was in that state of mind.
He seemed invested in the conversation and when I told him I had go he actually continued the conversation for a little longer. Later when I made him understand that these things are ok and we should think over again, he had come down to meet me. So, she had to have the money to do that and the time to do that but before we even met before, we met online through Facebook through friends.
So, maybe he can be in his comfort zone but at the same time there’s drawbacks to that because you leave your friends and family. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation.
So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again.
That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.


So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you.
He said things like he thought he’d met the right person, but at the wrong time and he could still see us eventually being together. I have realized that I need to work on myself in order to have a successful relationship, so I have made the necessary changes. Part of the reason that I ended up not following the same suit as your boyfriend is that I really had a very deep commitment to my wife. So, we met online through Facebook through friends and we set up a day about two months in advance where we would meet and it was in Florida at her parent’s house and two months is pretty risky for someone you’ve never met but it’s sort of—it was that critical mass of attraction I was talking about.
I’m looking for all sort of lovey dovey adjectives I can think of but—critical mass of attraction maybe the best one. You leave your support system and you’re in this new strange place where you don’t really know anyone.
Everything that I’m trying to do is to help you obviously but sometimes I feel a little over robotic in the way that I think now.
I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response.
I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back.
The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. I also wanted to break up, but he made the words official so in a sense he broke up with me.
Now, I know breaking NC is a really bad thing to do and I’m wondering what I can do to fix the fact that I broke NC.
In fact, I think we were engaged maybe within a month of moving in and I was just committed head over heels for this woman. Enough attraction had been built to where we were willing to want to see each other and we set a date to see each other and stuck with the date and I kind of felt like we were dating before we met because we were both kind of committed to not hurting the other person’s feelings like I wouldn’t talk to any other girls at all while I was talking to her because I didn’t want to scare her off and she didn’t want to talk to any other men when she was talking to me because she, one,  didn’t want to scare me off and two, I was the one who had to buy the plane tickets to come see her and she would feel bad if she, I guess flirted or met someone else. I hate to use that one again but it builds a huge critical mass of attraction on both parties and then all of a sudden one of the people has to go home or both of the people have to go home. Maybe you do know his family but it’s still not the same as having your family there or having your own support systems or network of friends which is something that I learned myself.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well.
I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about.
You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood. Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date.
Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. It has been a month since we split and I already feel better and getting back to the old me, although I still have a long way to go. So, I felt like we were kind of in this relationship without being in a relationship yet when we were talking and I feel like that is maybe the best strategy for you Morgan. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails.
However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did.
People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I will admit that I have tried to talk to him after he ended it and noticed that he was ignoring me (which is understandable). I don’t want to give you false hope because like I said, your chances, it can be as great as some other people’s chances perhaps but I will say, if you were you willing to put everything you have into this, you can get him back for sure.
All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. Seeing all these, my parents asked me to forget him and I am under pressure to get married asap. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. I tried begging, doing everythng to get him back, but he simply plays around asking me to do what I feel is right. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place? It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. A My second week at the course I got in early and became bored while waiting for my homeboys. When I text him on watsapp, he sees the msg but replies it at his own ease and never replies concretely. I did find out he went to a local bar with another girl (that he was interested in back in high school) a week after he ended our relationship. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. A My teammates and coaches were often challenged by my "Just give me the ball and get the hell out of my way" attitude. A I was not the best athlete on the field or on the court, but I thought I was.A When the game was on the line I wanted the ball in my hands. He seemed really sad and was mostly just making up an excuse to check in to make sure I was okay. Part of me thinks he did it to avoid his feelings over the breakup but the other part of me thinks that he’s genuinely interested in her considering he was back in high school.
That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.
Yesterday when I saw him I walked half a block chatting with him because we were heading in the same direction to class.
Then the third time I was coming out of the gym and he was going in and neither of us really looked all that happy to see each other. A A It was a hot evening and the constant in and out of the woods was not a pleasant undertaking.
Also, my boyfriend is a pretty impatient person and he was a real player when we first met. I am worried that in the next month he will revert back to his old ways and start sleeping with a bunch of different girls and dating other girls and will get over me.
What I thought would be a nine-hole outing turned into eighteen holes and a White House visit and a Presidential appointment in 1969. General William Rogers, Hattie, President Nixon and HBA Petey and I would become great friends and in 1965 we would meet again. A The United Planning Organization a self-help community organization was hiring "Neighborhood Workers." A They hired three, me, Petey and H.
A Two years later Rap would be named Chairman of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee. A I would become a Roving Leader (Youth Gang Task Force) for the DC Recreation Department and Petey would find his new home in radio at WOL.
A Three UPO "Neighborhood Workers" would go on to establish their own independent idenities. A Petey would win 2 Emmy Awards and in 2007 there was a feeble attempt to do his life story on the big screen.
He is now in jail serving a life sentence for the murder of a black Deputy Sherrif in Fulton County, Georgia. Brian McIntyre.A  He was sitting almost alone and there was no one waiting in line (compared to today's media circus).
A  I looked down and notice that all the white media were seated on one side of half-court and all the blacks were seated on the other side of the half-court line.
He stepped in front of me and said "I got it."A It would be the start of the 4th quarter that Mark returned to the press table table and apologize for his unprofessional actions.
A There were other mistakes like someone thought a black Judy Holland was VP material---far from it.
A It took a minute but in the meantime, he was making an effort to bring about change in his own way.
A But according veteran (32 years) sports writer Bill Rhoden of the New York Times, progress in sports media pressrooms around the country are on a slow boat to China.A His recent appearance on the widely acclaimed television news show Meet the Press, he said, "the NBA, NFL and MLB are still dragging their feet.
Media pressrooms at Deadline are still the last plantations.A A Pioneering broadcaster and former NBA CBS basketball analyst Sonny Hill and now a sports talk show host on WIP Radio in Philadelphia said, "I am not surprised by Rhoden's statement, very little has changed in media pressrooms. A One of the problems there is no networking among blacks who have moved it up the ladder." A That is an understatement. A  The copy rights for Inside Sports is own by News Week Magazine and it is own by the Washington Post.
A A First, there was a a problem with the PR Men from hell, Brian Sereno and Matt Williams. A A It was brought to my attention that Sereno was disrespecting the ladies of The Roundball Report. A The meeting was set before a Wizard's game in the press louge but Scott Hall was the lead man. A He listened and we disagreed on some points but when we walked away from the table we were on the same page. A The community and everyone in it was a friend, the old and the young, the black and the white and the healthy and the lame.
A I was honored to speak at his retirement held at the arena just before the Bullets moved to Washington and changed their name to the Wizards.A Denny Gordon was in ticket sales and it seem like he knew everyone who brought a ticket. A He was made the scapegoat after being sold out by his assisstant coach Bernie Bickerstaff and others. A The meeting revolved around a charity all-star game scheduled for the Bahamas, the island home of NBA star Mycal Thompson.
A Magic Johnson was one of All-Stars participating.A Representatives from the NBA included VP Ron Thorne, Legal Counsel Gary Bettman and head of security Horace Balmer. A A Gary Bettman is the Commissioner of the NHL, Thorne is somewhere lurking in the NBA, Balmer has since retired and Magic is a role model for Black America?
A A The short lived existence of basketball legend Michael Jordan as a Wizard's player and Executive in the front office. A After the story broke he and several teammates made light of it during introductions of a game. A He was eventually suspended for most of the 2009a€“10 season.A The thing that I find disturbing about this Donald Sterling charade is that folks are acting like they were surprised by his rants against blacks.
A A I also notice the same "Old faces and voices" are called on to respond to the racist acts by men like Sterling---when they are a part of the problem . A He and Sterling were good friends because "Birds of a feather flock together." A  Check Magic's history out and you will discover the two have a lot in common. A Magic's claim to be a minority owner of the LA Dodgers is another sham (token black face).
James Brown (CBS Sports) another mis-guilded brother claiming to be a minority baseball owner and an expert on racism. A He did finally admit on the late George Michael Show (Sports Machine) "I have no say in making baseball decisions as a minority owner." A His role as a minority owner is to be paraded out on Opening Day as the black face to read the starting line-ups. A A This is the same Michael Wilbon that I had at least two recent conversations about the use of the N word as a term of endearment. A I have to give him credit, he will at least talk to me face to face and not behind my back. A I tried to explain that his rationale that his grandfather's use the word as a term of endearment does not make it right today. A I told him he should not go on national television saying it is okay to use the N word among friends and family. A It gives bigots like Donald Sterling the Green Light to do the same among his friends and family. A Plus, Michael told me he was not going to appear on the ESPN Show Outside the Lines because the white host had no horse in the race! A A I wish that Magic, James, Michael and the rest of the media experts would defer to black men like Hank Aaron, Dr.
A But they wear the battle scars and have been on the front lines of the civil rights movement in real life and in the sports arenas of America. A In other words, they have been there and done that.A I guess that is wishful thinking, especially when everyone wants to be an expert on television.
A In the meantime, they don't know their asses from a hole in the ground but the beat goes on and on.
A Auerbach would go a step further in the 1966-67 NBA season, when he stepped A down after winning nine titles in 11 years, and made Bill Russell player-coach.
A A trailblazers, RED AND DOTIE AUERBACHi»? ON INSIDE SPORTSA Russell would eventually be the first black to win an NBA championship. A There are far too many crying "Foul" and playing the victims in this charade, to include some NBA owners.A Let me start with my homeboy, the great Elgin Baylor who was the Clippers GM for over 2 decades.
His teams were perennial losers on the court and in attendance, but he picked up his check every two weeks and kept his mouth shut.
A A In his deposition, Elgin spoke about what he called Sterling's 'plantation mentality,' alleging the owner in the late 1990s rejected a coaching candidate, Jim Brewer, because of race. A Talking about an organization needing a change of name and a face-lift---meet Leon Jenkins.A Jenkins seen above at a press conference trying to explain why the li»?ocal branch was honoring Sterling during the 100th Anniversary of the organization next month. A A He explained the previous award had been approved by the man he replaced and he just went along to get along. A A Sterling won't be the first to sleep black and think white when it comes to sex, politics and money. Slave owners lived by the credo and in modern day history there was the late Senator Strom Thurmond. A Nike NBA rep John Phillips and I met with VP Rod Thorn, League Counsel Gary Bettman and Head of League Security, Horace Balmer. A The meeting centered around whether Magic Johnson, Mycal Thompson and a group of NBA All-Stars would be allowed to travel to the Bahamas for a charity basketball game without league approval. The game had been played in the Bahamas the previous year without incident or controversy.A It was obvious that there was a power-play being made by the league office to cancel the game. Thorn open the meeting by asking who was going to be responsible if one of the players was hurt during the game? A Magic suggested that the topic of conversation just might be centered around an injury to a player. I tried to explain that playing the game was no different then one of the players participating in a pick-up game on a New York City playground in the off season. A What is this some kind of plantation?"A The room went silent and Horace Balmer the only other black in the room just shook his head and seem to be lost for words.
A Thorn called off the discussion and promised to get back to us but he never did.A In the meantime, Magic Johnson disappeared and changed his number. A Mycal was a class act but his hands were tied when Magic decided to do his Houdini act.A Gary Bettman now runs the NHL, Ron Thorn is still in the NBA somewhere calling the shots, Horace Balmer has since retired and Magic is the face (black) in the middle of the Donald Sterling charade. A When all is said and done, the real victim despite all of her baggage is the girlfriend (The Whistle Blower) V. A NBA Commissioner Adam Silver during his annoucement as it related to the punishment of Donald Sterling apologize to black NBA pioneers Earl Lloyd, Chuck Cooper and Magic Johnson. A He reminds me of the controversial Celebrity Chef Paula Deen who alledgely use The N word to describe her love for black folks.
A  How should we expect her to know if she has never walked in our shoes ?A  When it is a part of your DNA it is difficult to rid yourself of the gene.A  A One morning I was watching Ms. This award was longed overdue and I wonder why it took the NAACP so long to finally recognized Mr. Belafonte in accepting the award asked, "Where are today's black leaders?A  Our children's blood is still running in our streets---there is work still to be done.
The coalition stated it will urge President Obama to mention an urban jobs plan in his state of the Union speech on February 12th----Good luck! Ben Carson of John Hopkins University Hospital.A  His prayer and message was centered around health care, the economy, American debt, and tax reform, thus taking dead aim at President Obama's platform for the nation.
Carson spend 25 minutes talking about the nation's ills and solutions with the President sitting less than 5 feet from him.A  When all was said and done, President Obama was not looking so Presidential!
Carson set the record straight from the very beginning.A  He made it clear he was not taking any wooden nickels. In 2010, he became that series' youngest driver and the first black driver to win a race at Greenville-Pickens Speedway.
A close friend of mine that has been partially paralyzed by strokes, pays for aids to "help". If they show up, they usually just sit and do nothing, root through her jewelry and personal effects, and some have been caught stealing jewelry.
One was there when she collapsed with another stroke, and instead of calling for help, she called her boyfriend and left, leaving her patient to manage on her own. It runs M - F from 10am - Noon and starting on Monday July 22 will repeat from 4pm - 6pm each day.
My opinions about Tiger Woods or any other issue are mine and I could give a damn about what Feinstein or anybody else things about them.
In their prime at theA Washington Post, they were among the best sports writers in the country.
A I was up close and personal with the sports department.A Kindred and Chad were talented writers but you could not trust them, Cornheiser and Feintstein's talent, they easily blended in with the landscape of the paper.
A Feinstein called Wilbon the biggest ass kisser in sports media, if that is true he had great teacher in Cornheiser. A When Solomon tried to kick Cornheiser to the curve (fire him) in the 80s he was able to move to the Style section of the paper. A One black female Washington Post columnist wrote a book titled "Plantation on the Potomac." A She was describing her employer. A Hopefully, they were asked to participate and were of the same mindset as Wilbon not comfortable with Mr.
A Goodell makes more than any player in the NFL and he never has to make a tackle or catch a pass.A The owners recent pay out to the players for injuries suffered on their watch was peanuts compared to the billions they make year in and year out. A When he refused a request by his mother to cease using the word and a similar plea by poet Myra Angelo. Martin Luther Kinga€™s 1963 march on Washington and 46 years since his assassination in Memphis, Tenn. With the high-scoring Macauley, elite passer Cousy, and new prodigy Sharman, Auerbach had a core that provided high-octane fast-break basketball. In the next years until 1956, the Celtics would make the playoffs every year, but never won the title.
Brown was desperate to turn around his struggling and financially strapped franchise, which was reeling from a 22a€“46 record.[5]A The still young but already seasoned Auerbach was made coach. A Nike NBA rep John Phillips and I met with VP Rod Thorn, League Counsel Gary Bettman and Head of League Security, Horace Balmer.A The meeting centered around whether Magic Johnson, Mycal Thompson and a group of NBA All-Stars would be allowed to travel to the Bahamas for a charity basketball game without league approval.
A He was right on point.A To this day I think Magic had a previous discussion with the league office.
James Gholson, Red Auerbach, Biff Carter, Jessie Chase, Morgan Wooten, Everett Cookie Payne Sr., Frank Bolden, Dr. Leo Hill, Roper McNair, Earl Alfred, Maxwell Honemond, Tilman Sease, William Roundtree, Charlie Baltimore, Jaky Mathews, Ferdinand Day, Nick Turner, Walter Brooks, Ted McIntye, and my saviors, Dave Brown and Bighouse Gaines.A  They knew their Xs and Os, but more important, they were there for our highs and lows.A  Where have all those flowers gone?
We never could have made it without them.I have given up on the Pigskin Club, but keeping hope alive for the DC Recreation Department and the Roving Leader Program.
BELL 12-25-1940---8-1-2013A A GOOD COP WHO BROKE THE CODE OF SILENCE IN THE WASHINGTON, DC POLICE DEPARTMENT. A The real Serpico is seen leaving the Bronx Courthouse alone after testifying before the Knapp Commission on wide spread police corruption in the department.
A In the old days police A would carry a "drop knife---an inexpensive weapon cops would bring along on patrol to drop onto or next to suspect that they had taken out so that they could say that he had threaten them.
A Today you don't even need to do that; all that you have to do is justify the use of deadly force if you are a police officer is to say that you feared for your life, for whatever reason.
If the victim dies, that just means there will one less witness around to contradict the test-lie. A In the case of Officer Michael Slager of the North Charleston police, it appears he was being extra-carefulto cover his tracks. A Probably he could have gotten away with simply declaring, as he did in the radioed report, that Walter Scott "took my taser," and that would have probably have sufficed to exonerate him.
A But Slager having shot Scott eight times in the back--as everyone can see in the now famous video--perhaps felt that he needed a little help explaining what he was up to. A So apparently dropped his Taser next to Scott's body, which would obviously help to make the case that Scott "Took my taster."A If you think that what happen in North Charleston is a unique case, its not. A Only recently, in another case, a policewoman in Pennsylvania first Tasered a black man then shot him twice in the back as he lay face down in the snow. A Unless honesty is rewarded more often then corruption, the police will lose credibility altogether. A I wrote a letter to President Bill Clinton in 1994 addressing this very issue, saying that honest cops have never been rewarded, and maybe there ought to be a medal for them, he wrote back but nothing change.
A If enough testi-lying is uncovered, then who is going to believe the police even when they are telling the truth? A A Until now the shoot first fear of my life mantra has eliminated any cause for concern in the taking of life by police. A When a civilian committs a crime, every nuance is looked at, the better to "throw the book at" the suspect. A The other day I got a letter from a journalist in Argentina who was complaining about police and judicial corruption there. A I wrote back to him, there are good cops, even where you live, but if the good cops don't want to be painted with the same broad brush as the bad cops, they need to come forward and expose the guys who are doing bad things.
A Take New York City detective who was caught on camera recently abusing an Uber driver with threats and foul language, A This was truly disgusting behavior.
Yet predictably enough the detective union leader, Michael Palladino, was out there making excuses for him, suggesting that, well, it was only one incident, and everyone has a bad day. A Afterward Police Commissioner William Bratton announced he was removing the detective's shield and placing him temporarily on desk duty while an investigation is conducted . A But this man needs to be demoted to uniform at the very least, or "back in the bag" as we use to say. A Imagine what he is capable of doing under the cover of darkness if he can talk to someone like that in broad daylight. A There are plenty legitimate incidents where police believe, correctly, that their lives are in danger. A I was in a few of those situations myself during the course of my career.A But unless the police forces and society as a whole take action we're not going to be able to distinguish between the legititimate claims and made-up testimony.
A A long time ago Norman Rockwell painted a famous picture of a friendly neighborhood cop bending down to help a little boy. A For example; I could name someone who is a great athlete but a lousy human being or I could name someone who is a great human being but not a great athlete. A Heading the list is Muhammad Ali (The Greatest), Red Auerbach (NBA), Dave Bing (NBA), Lenny Moore (NFL), Bert R. Sugar (Boxing), Lee Jones (NBA), Roy Jefferson (NFL) and Harold McLinton (NFL), finding pro athletes like them today are far, few and in-between.
A And that is a sad commentary when you think about the hundreds of men and women I have interviewed on Inside Sports and worked with as a youth advocate (Kids In Trouble). Moore, LB Dave Robinson (2013 NFL Hall of Fame inductee) and WR Roy Jefferson host KIT toy party. A Sam Jones (NBA), Lenny Moore (NFL) and Roy Jefferson (NFL) participate in KIT clothing drive for needy children at Union Station. A Bert Sugar (Boxing) receives KIT Life Time Achievement Award and Dave Bing (NBA) pays tribute to KIT Saturday Program All-Stars.I had the opportunity to hear an interview on Sirius A XM Radio (channel 126) on the Maggie Linton Show recently, her guest was NFL Washington Pro football player, wide receiver Peirre Garcon. A I have not been very impressed with todaya€™s pro athletes and their give back commitment to their family, friends and community. A He has three older sisters making him the youngest and the only one born in the United States.His father died when he was 4 years old leaving his mother to raise him and his 3 sisters alone.
A My background is similar to Peirrea€™s, my mother had to raise 4 boys alone with an assist from Grandma Bell.



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Comments »

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