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admin | How To Get A Ex Boyfriend Back | 31.08.2015
Anyway, Duchess de-shoes and goes bounding off into the PlayPlace which, if you haven't seen one, looks like a bunch of rainbow snakes twisting themselves together while trying to eat each other's butt-holes. Soon enough, Stevie and I finish up our meal and it's time to go home; Captain is getting fussy and wants to nurse.
Suddenly, out of the heart of darkness, my daughter's face appears at a red tinted window in one of the tubes. When I first compared the window scenario to the scene from Armageddon where Bruce Willis and Liv Tyler are looking at each other on the monitors right before Bruce blows up with the Asteroid, I may have started singing "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith.
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We stopped by McDonald's on the way home because it was too late to cook dinner and we figured we could let Duchess get rid of some energy in the play place before we started the 45-minute process of begging her to please, for the love of God, go to bed.
Once your kid goes in there, there is no knowing where she is or if she is the one screaming in pain.
As far as I can tell, the poo was contained - but there may be some piss dribbles inside the maze. I don't want Captain's High School buddies to Google his name some day and find out that I surveyed the internet on whether or not to circumcise him.
It's terrifying - but it lets me eat my cheeseburger in peace so I allow her to participate in whatever Lord of the Flies shit is taking place inside that technicolor tunnel nightmare.

With that reasoning in mind, I am going to come right out and say that the story I am about to tell you definitely, absolutely, did not happen. After packing up, Stevie and I begin the embarrassing ritual of trying to locate our kid in the PlayPlace. She needs to shit, and she is lost in this f'ing rainbow cavern, minutes from the door - and she's not going to make it.

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