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09.03.2015


Kowl tells She-Ra that she should tell Glimmer that it would be foolish to go rescue Queen Angella, Glimmer’s mother, from Hunga the Harpy. Back in the rebel camp, Madame Razz bawls her eyes out at the reunion of Queen Angella and her daughter Glimmer. As they ride toward their contact point, Adora clarifies her understanding that the King and Queen do NOT know that Prince Adam is He-Man. Instantly they’re on the other side, unaware that Hordak has invited himself along for the trip. Skeletor, Webstor, Kobra Khan, and Beast Man sneak in, then Skeletor disguises them all as chefs. Suddenly, Skeletor double crosses Hordak and has Trap Jaw and Webstor push Hordak back through the portal back into Etheria. She-Ra catches up to him and Skeletor is surprised to see her because he’s never heard of this She-Ra person before. After a brief time lapse, Adora has turned back in to the Princes and is announcing her intention to go back to Etheria. He-Man and She-Ra make their way over to the rebel camp and but into the plans that Bow, Glimmer, and Queen Angella are making.
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Andrew, a new customer of the Stand Up Guys, called in last Monday to ask us about helping him out of a jam.
Andrew went on to tell Carson, who answered the phone from the Stand Up Guys Junk Headquarters, that he was attempting to rent out his house and live with his fiance.
He found the perfect renters right away, they didn’t have any pets, had a small family, and were able to pay first and last months rent right away. Andrew had told them that he would have it removed before they moved in, but with everything going on with renting a house out and moving at the same time, Andrew just put the shed removal on the back burner. The last thing that the new renters wanted was for their precious little girl to go wandering in the old shed and get herself hurt. Andrew explained to Carson over the phone the importance of getting the shed out of the back yard of the Cobb County home. Carson new that a big shed like this wasn’t as simple as swinging by and grabbing it. Carson made an executive decisions and decided he was going to send out a separate truck the next day just to cater to Andrew and his problem. The two Stand Up Guys went to the front door to tell the new renters that they were there to take down and remove the shed. First Ross and Christiaan knocked out all the plywood around the shed, this way they could get a clear look at the skeleton. Now that everything was torn down, cut up and ready to go the guys then devised their plan to take everything to the truck and haul it all away. They guys dragged everything from the back of the house to the front where the dump truck was. Once they had all the debris to the front of the house, Ross then jumped into the back of the junk truck while Christiaan handed him piece by piece. If the guys would have just drug everything to the truck and tossed it in there, most likely the truck would have filled up too fast from not being loaded correctly and they would have had to start all over.
Andrew was raving about us over the phone and said he couldn’t wait to tell everyone he knew about the Stand Up Guys and how awesome we are. Andrew wasn’t the only guy that was happy, the renters of the new house were also ecstatic to have it out of their site. Once the guys were all finished up at the Cobb County home, the backyard looked as if no shed had ever called it home. I noticed that the IMDB cast list had been missing a couple characters – Leech, Grizzlor, and Kowl – and in my quest to find out who voiced them, I found out that the Secret of the Sword special is actually made up of the first three episodes of She-Ra: Princess of Power. I also realize I called the wrong character Hunga the Harpy before because that’s what I called the scorpion-like villain whom wasn’t named in the credits. Princess Adora looks on… well, adoringly, and then surmises that with the rebel queen back, they may have an easier time fighting the Horde.


Prince Adam makes it very clear that they do not know, and they also can’t know that Adora is She-Ra either. King Randor is continually bitching about how long they must be kept form the surprise Prince Adam has promised.
King Randor looks at Prince Adam and tells him how proud he’s made him this day and gives his son a big old hug. He wheels in a large cake and tries to push it on the “special occasion”, but then he immediately uses his magic to turn the special cake into Hordak anyway.
Skeletor turns his attention on Adora and reasons out loud what he should do with her when she faints. He sics Kobra Khan and Webstor on her, so She-Ra obliges them for one dance and twirls them all around the room, resulting in them getting the villains’ heads getting lodged in a grate.
Queen Marlena is a bit incredulous, but Adora insists that Etheria is her world, even if she was abducted to the world against her will.
A bunch of wild animals approach menacingly, and things are tense, but then She-Ra proclaims it’s all right, the animals want to help in the rebellion. She says, “For the honor of Grayskull let thy wounds be healed,” She-Ra says, healing her fallen friend. Andrew got himself into a shed removal dilemma at his Cobb County home and needed someone to help him out, he called the right place that’s for sure. The problem was that the renters really didn’t want the old crappy shed that was in the back yard there anymore. The renters had a little girl that was about 6 years old and she had quite the curious side to her. There was a lot of old rusted nails sticking out on the inside of the shed, along with a bunch of old chemicals and yard tools.
The family was so happy to see them and even happier that the ugly shed was going to be out of their lives. Ross and Christiaan then just began to use the sawzall and prybars to cut and pry everything off of the roof. There was a lot of debris so they had to place everything just so in order for it all to fit into one load. Andrew was so happy to get a call from the guys around 1pm the day after he originally called to tell him that they were all finished up. This is incongruous with my memory though, because I remember watching the first episode of She-Ra when it aired and being upset that He-Man wasn’t in it.
Instead, She-Ra tells Glimmer that her mother will be rescued, but she asks that the task be left up to her and Adam to keep Glimmer out of danger.
When she turns to them she reveals that its actually Hunga the Harpy in disguise, then starts blasting at them with a crystal staff.
He-Man adds that it will probably afford her the opportunity to accompany him back to Eternia to meet her parents for the first time. Adora is surprised at being called a Princess so Prince Adam somewhat condescendingly reminds her that she is the daughter of a King and Queen. King Randor remarks that, “By the ancients,” the Royal Family is whole again after all these years, and now that they are, he won’t let anything come between them again.
Once Hordak has Adora in his paws, Tri-Klops blasts a hole in one of the palace buildings, then swoops the Collector down to the hole to pick up all the bad guys. Beast Man carries her into a prison cell, but as he stands there gawking at her, barely concealing his boner, she darts between his legs, locking him in the cell. She says to the King, “If it was a toy before the boot of the horde, would you leave before the fight was finished?” She promises that now she knows of them, she can come visit when ever she wants, but first she has to go back and put a stop to the horde, once and for all. So now, it’s on and the woodland creatures are helping to rebel and the mechanical defenses are taking a pounding. The rebels take care of many of their street level guards, clearing the way for the rest of the rebellion. Except that he did a song with Rob what's-his-face from Matchbox 20 (later Matchbox Twenty - how asinine, douche-bags) and Michelle Branch (where the fuck did that chick go?). Then once the shed is disassembled and taken down, that’s when we can load it up into the trucks.


It doesn’t take too many tools to take down a shed, it takes more brain and brawn than anything else. The got the two front braces out, then watched as the roof tipped over and fell to the ground just as they had planned. Hunga manages to use her magic to capture Swift Wind as well as She-Ra and He-Man in a circle of spikes.
Meanwhile Hordak flies around reflecting over the fact that Adora rides with the rebels now. Just as soon as The Sorceress teleports them out of there, the missile-shaped Hordak comes flying through the mystical interior door. King Randor’s promise may be a little tough to keep, now that Hordak has found his way to Snake Mountain, right to his former thrown room, even.
Just as Skeletor is remarking that she missed, the shot finally ricochets and causes a stone steer skull to fall on his head. The Sorceress tells Adora that if she ever wishes to return, she just needs to hold up her sword and say the Sorceress’ name. Carson new this would take some time, so he needed to find a big slot in the day, and he had to find the quickest one. Shadow Weaver just laments that Adora has absconded with the power sword before she could uncover its secrets. I can’t wait to hear the King and Queen reveal that all these years they have been lying by no revealing they had a daughter too. They get into a half-hearted tussle which sufficiently allows them each to show how they’ve improved then come to terms – Hordak will let Skeletor lay claim to Eternia, as long as Hordak is allowed to leave with Adorda.
Just before He-Man and friends can head into the fray, Skeletor, Tri-Klops, and Trap Jaw go flying from the room. Indeed when He-Man and She-Ra show up, She-Ra tells He-Man she’s got some bad news for him. I'm a huge Marilyn Manson fan (along with many other bands and styles of music), and I used to be [email protected] Satan on Fire was a side project Manson had back in his pre-fame days in Florida. As Hunga ponders the situation, she picks apart an orange, eating the fruit and throwing the skins at Queen Angella. He-Man mounts up with Adora, but two Hordesmen track their progress as they ride along on Swift Wind, one of them easily recognizing Force Captain Adora.
Just before Adora is supposed to go through the portal with Prince Adam, she gets nervous, asking, “Adam, do you think Mother and Father will like me?” Prince Adam says, “Oh, Adora, they’ll love you. I need to control my rocket form better.” Hordak is delighted to look around and discover he’s on Eternia near Castle Grayskull. King Randor is speechless, but Queen Marlena manages to squeak out “Adora!” Quickly, they reveal to Teela, that Adora is Prince Adam’s twin sister that they always pretended didn’t exist, but that they can’t ignore anymore because she’s right in front of them now. She-Ra stands there coyly as Teela says, “Who in the world is that?” He-Man introduces her as his “friend” She-Ra, and says that Adora is safe, somewhere else. She’s delighted to see him and perfectly happy to have him along with her help launch the rebellion. She’s not coming back with him again but they make each other promise that they will call each other for help sometimes though. Hunga gives up her location behind the throne, so He-Man approaches and tells her to hold still while he frees her.
And that’s it, no moral, just the empty reverberation of this story with out the substance.
So I just threw in an extra "a" and "n", and now I have been Santanaonfire for over a decade.
In retrospect, Santaonfire might have been more fitting, as I love the visual it invokes, and Santa is just an anagram of Satan (kinda makes you think, doesn't it?).
But ultimately, it wildly amuses me that I have no particular affinity for Carlos Santana, despite my chosen handle.



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