11.12.2013

Lucky charms with marshmallows only

Back in the days of yore (or yesteryear, I’m not quite sure), the Native Americans would carry buckeyes with them across this great state. Students at The Ohio State University are given a buckeye at their orientation as a sign of good luck. In fact, I still have my buckeye on my desk which I’m writing this entry right now (along with 19 packs of gum, a rubber duck, peanut butter, and a Jesus action figure). I was too busy sipping coffee by the fireside whilst eating alternating handfuls of Mint Oreos and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the greatest foods known to mankind. I have a serious addiction to Orbit Spearmint Chewing Gum, something that I can only equate to a pack-a-day smoker.


But in all seriousness, who doesn’t love a ball of peanut butter and powdered sugar rolled together and coated in a delicious layer of chocolatey goodness. Proud survivor of the Toledo Water Crisis of 2014, fueling my rationality for never learning to swim. You can find me around campus yelling loud compliments at people while wearing my cat sweater. Here to tell the story of one man’s experience with 50,000 classmates, and hopefully full of "30 Rock"-esque humor. Well I’m pretty sure that a buck could easily just sit on a honey badger and kill it.


He does handstands, break dances, spins on his head, takes selfies with students and teachers, and all of that while wearing football tights and a sweater. He appeared at a wedding recently, reported the weather on the news, and even goes to Buckeyethon!



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