12.09.2014

Mystery palmistry

Although Batman’s Batmobile went through more design changes then Michael Jackson (yeah, I went there) the most impressive of all the (animated) Batmobiles was the winged, wheeled avenger seen in the Super Friends cartoon.
Unlike many of his superhero, comic book brethren, The Tick takes a much more environmentally, realistic approach to crime-fighting by carpooling whenever evil is afoot.
As a kid I loved Scooby-Doo, but I was always mildly annoyed by the fact that Fred never seemed good for much other than making sure his ascot was always perfectly tied. Although the company that oversaw the production of Speed Racer made a valiant effort to include a viable storyline in every episode, the plot was almost always the same. Despite her superior ability to fight crime and still be home in time to cook dinner for Superman, Wonder Woman was still plagued by the human inability that prevents women from driving with any sort of skill. For an incredibly accident prone police detective that was probably the subject of many an internal investigation, Inspector Gadget still somehow managed to score the coolest cruiser on the force: the Gadgetmobile. As far as badass quotient is concerned, the only fictional character that can even stand in G.I. Inspired by the 1965 film The Great Race, the Wacky Races cartoon was essentially an animated, G-rated version of The Gumball Rally. The plot of the cartoon Jem essentially revolved around a popstar singer, Jem, and her band, the Holograms. The Speed Buggy cartoon was basically the best of two entertainment worlds: Scooby-Doo and Herbie The Love Bug.
For all those of you aged 25 years and up, unless you had a younger sibling you probably missed the Saturday morning delight that was Biker Mice From Mars. Kids like Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors so much primarily because it was just one giant 30-minute long commercial for cool toys, literally. Calvary Command was Earth’s law enforcement arm dispatched to space in to maintain law and order in the final frontier.
In stark contrast to many super heros that have reigned the animated world, Captain America is a superhero that does not have the benefit of any super powers, but he did have a super badass bike.
Im fucking tired of every cartoon list forgetting the Ghostbusters especially one about cars.
Okay, about half your 20 Most Incredible Cartoon Cars Of All Time” are not in fact cars…heck, the Invisible Jet is a *plane*! I was thinking the same thing but, mistaking Batman The Animated Series for Super Friends is an unforgivable sin. The PHOENIX from BATTLE OF THE PLANETS a sort of space craft that tranformed into a flamming bird. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page.


Like all the Batmobile models before it, the Super Friends Batmobile came heavily equipped with several on-board computers and a military-grade weapons artillery rivaled in coolness only by the machine-gun equipped Jeep in the The Rat Patrol. Watch the video above to see The Tick use a rare moment of quiet in The Tick Mobile to explain in his own words why the superhero car is just as important as the superhero himself. My irritation with Fred as an efficient sleuth was also eased, however, when I realized that Fred was actually an integral part of Scooby’s gang.
Thus, seeking to avoid the nightmarish traffic female drivers in a hurry are wont to cause, Wonder Woman’s creators at DC Comics equipped her with the Invisible Jetplane. The Gadgetmobile was essentially your run of the mill, totally awesome crime-fighting vehicle and as such, included the quintessential bad-guy-banishing features like a smoke screen, ejector seat, glue rockets (which were exactly what they sound like), and the Gadget Claw. For those of you who are old enough to remember, like every other action-packed cartoon airing at the time, Thundercats spawned its own line of action figures. It was a short-lived series with only 17 episodes produced with each episode featuring two separate races and the campy hi-jinks of the 23 different racers. It was kind of like a less-slutty precursor to the Bratz musicals Nickelodeon occasionally airs today, only with significantly less blatant marketing.
It originally aired in 1993 and followed the same anthropomorphic crime-fighting rubric that had been established by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Of course you don’t devote entire mornings to watching cartoons anymore (though only because your girlfriend insists on dragging you to these excruciatingly boring yard sales – but I mean what are you gonna do? The Star Sheriffs were a branch of the Calvary Command, charged with battling the Command’s most formidable foe, the Outriders. He was injected with the Super-Soldier serum to help turn him from a puny weakling to a musclebound hero. Since I suspect Shaggy was always high, without Freddy, the iconic Mystery Machine would never leave the garage, and thus it would never have become a vehicle famous for transporting the likes of everyone from the Harlem Globe Trotters to Sonny and Cher (yeah, I watched a lot of Scooby Doo). Fortunately, the under 12 audience didn’t really care if episode 12 was not immediately distinguishable from episodes 13-86, we just wanted to see Speed Racer take the Mach-go through the jaws of animated hell again and again and again. Acknowledging that a jetplane (even an invisible one) would be difficult to park when Wonder Woman ran to pick up the Super Friends’ dry cleaning, the Invisible Plane was also given the impressive ability to morph into whichever type of transportation Wonder Woman desired, be it a motorcycle, a submarine, or a minivan.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason the marketing department in charge of the official Thundercats vehicle was asleep at their post, because Lion-O’s super-powered racer had about as much commercial appeal as the county school bus. The typical Jem episode usually involved Jem and the Holograms competing in some manner of musical contest against their arch-rivals, the Misfits (no relation to Glen Danzig’s little freak show), and the band-on-band sabotage that inevitably ensued. In fact, most of us probably missed it altogether unless we had incredibly nostalgic parents who turned us on to silver screen gold mines likes Gilligan’s Island and CHiPS.
The only remaining survivors of there Mars-based culture of Motorsports enthusiasts, Biker Mice Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie are charged with saving Chicago (and the rest of Earth) from the evil Plutarkians.


The Outriders were non-human, and were thus impossible to defeat without the Saber Rider and the Star Sheriff’s secret weapon, the Ramrod Equalizer Unit. There was a crime fighting taxi driver whose car could turn invisible and drop oil slicks, among some other tricks. Basically, he’s on on steroids…Steroids that make you you go from zero to hero without any work whatsoever! Over the years Wonder Woman’s powers evolved to eventually include the ability to fly and the Invisible Plane began to appear less and less in the storyline.
Even though the Thundercats’ massive metal tank looked like it was prepared to wage serious war, it never really did much more than drive the Thundercats from point A to point B (though I do recall it made an occasional u-turn, and it did prove to have an impressively tight turning ratio). Joe was a superhero without the benefit of super powers, he also appeared to purchase his clothing from the J.C. Although the Misfits were supposed to be loathed by the Jem fan base, it was incredibly difficult to feign hatred for them.
Not only is it vaguely nostalgic, but it also provides some validation for those many sleepless nights you spent as a kid, wrestling with the inner suspicion that despite his awesome crime fighting powers, Batman was still kind of a fruitcake. Yeah, the cheese can be extremely odious at times… but during the minority of episodes when it fires on all cylinders it totally kicks ass with those excellent fight sequences, snappy dialog, and catchy soundtrack. Also, if you’re going to include vehicles you should at least find out the names of them. Impressive, considering the fact that T-bone and Razor built all the machines from scrap in their junkyard. In spite of the fact that it was thoroughly unexciting, however, I still remember roughly 50% of the Talbot Park Day School kindergarten class carried a Thundercats tank-shaped thermos…go figure. Not only the Misfits rock way harder then Jem and the Holograms, but they were also prone to making their grand entrance on guitar-shaped motorcycles. In addition to the campy mischief the bumbling Magoo was prone to inspire, it was also a rare treat for us kids to have the opportunity to watch a grown-up get into more trouble tying his shoes then we did during an entire period of recess. South Park, which has a book based on it, South Park Conservative, which is now somewhat of a political party, a Ron Paul style but a perfect republican outlook, nonetheless.
I mean really, blatant market manipulation aside – can anyone among us offer a valid argument solidly refuting the badass factor of the red Chevy Camaro G3 Thunderhawk?



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