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Heather Topham Wood is a seasoned writer whose work has appeared in numerous publications, including USA Today, Gadgetell, Feel Rich and Step in Style.
If your four-year-old boy has yet to be potty trained, you may have faced resistance in your first attempts to teach him to use the toilet independently. Clearly I have been stuck in the slippery, sliding, deflating, frustrating, demoralizing slope of potty training for a while now, with my 2.5 year old. Back in the day, I would have secretly hated those people and wished ill-things on them like lots of tantrums or sleepless nights. And then, is my kid potty trained when she actually sits on the potty to pee but fails to realize that she needs to pull DOWN her underpants, therefore soaking through them?
One Response to Potty Training….A Premature Declaration of Independence from Diapers?
Right now, your son may not fully understand how to take what he feels inside his body and translate that into signals to run to the potty. Once you announce that you may start potty training, you are bound to be overrun with opinions and ideas from everyone you know. Potty training boys can feel intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming and frustrating. Bladder control is difficult to master, so you must expect some accidents while potty training.
Mark a few days or one week off your calendar and plan to spend that time focusing on your child. In addition to getting your child to the potty fast when they announce they need to go, there should be some structure so your child knows when to expect a potty break.
You may start out taking structured potty breaks every half hour or so, but eventually your child will maintain enough bladder control that they can go a couple hours between potty sessions. Potty training is more enjoyable for everyone if you focus more on spending time with your child and less on the accidents and messes. You can encourage your child to potty by turning on running water or reading books that make them want to imitate the characters.
If you try to potty train your child with great consistency for two weeks or more and they are resistant, they are probably not ready to train yet. It is a given that you must consider your child’s readiness as you decide when to start potty training. You don’t want to start potty training at the end of the year in the midst of Thanksgiving preparations, Christmas parties and visits from family members.
If you are distracted or feel pulled in a million directions, your child will also feel scattered and unfocused on potty training.
Once you start potty training, you will need to remain consistent so your child has no doubt what you expect of them and how the process works.
Most children require at least a few months of consistent training before they are completely potty trained. The idea is to set aside a short period of time during which you can focus completely on potty training.
If you know you are distracted and cannot give your child the focus they need to get started, then you may allow them to explore the potty when possible while putting off serious training for later.
You must decide how aggressive you are in the training process, and that my be determined by your child’s attitude or interest in the potty. Some parents are so tired of the diaper-changing process that they try to force their children into potty training before they are even ready to begin. There is a lot of debate over when children should begin training to use the potty, so how do you determine what is right for your child? There are some general guidelines that may help you decide when to start talking to your child about potty training, but there are not set ages at which children should start potty training. Now that you understand the importance of checking for potty training readiness, what specific signs may tell you that a child is ready to train?
You don’t need to check off every item on this list to determine that your child is ready to start potty training. Now that you know what signs you are looking for, you can do things differently in your home to check for your child’s readiness.
Many parents dread the potty training process because they have heard that little boys have poor aim and make a lot of messes when they first start learning.
If you can show your little boy what you expect of him and introduce him to the tools he can use to meet those expectations, he is likely to be potty trained quickly without tons of messes.
The easiest way to show a child what you want them to do in the bathroom is to let them see the desired behavior in action. It is understandable if the father or older brother of your little man is a bit gun shy when it comes to being watched in the bathroom. Starting out, most little boys will only acknowledge wetness after they are soaked in urine.
For example, you may notice that your little boy stops playing or makes a funny face just before using the bathroom in his pants.
Putting a name on the action of using the bathroom is more effective when potty training a boy than asking general questions. This method of potty training may lead to accidents, so make sure you have carpet cleaner on hand.
Start changing your child’s diaper in the bathroom and place the plastic potty next to the big potty in the bathroom. You can use exact terms for “pooping” and “peeing” that come naturally to your child, but make sure that you are using specific terms. Avoid terms like “stinky” because you don’t want your little boy to think of using the bathroom as a negative activity. Start conversations with your child about the wonderful things that come along with potty training.
If your son is interested in playing dress-up with his pull-ups, let him do it all he wants.
Your child may also enjoy setting dolls on the potty and pretending they are using the bathroom.
When you feel he is ready, you can start explaining how he should pull down his pants and use the potty for real. It's easier if he just wears a T-shirt and underwear all day, that way it's easier for him to pull them down.
I continued to use diapers at naps, on outings and during the night until I noticed that the diapers were dry a couple days in a row.
Some parents give there kids lots of juice and salty snacks so that they pee more, but that's not necessary. Heather is a published novelist with six Amazon bestsellers and a contract through Crescent Moon Press. You may feel more pressure to potty train once your son reaches four years old, however, because some schools may require children to be potty trained prior to admittance. A resistant four-year-old may respond well to the idea of getting a reward each time he successfully uses the potty.


Your son may get distracted by the spray or feel frustrated at his inability to aim urine into the toilet. I mean, am I kidding myself when I proudly tell myself that both my kids are potty trained?
One wonders if my declaration meshes with my daughter’s behavioral declaration of DEPENDENCE on having accidents. There are also some aggravations and trying times that you will only laugh about after you have finished potty training every little boy in your home. It is important to look on the bright side and realize that you have a healthy boy who is ready to move forward and learn bigger and more impressive skills. As he tries to figure out what you expect of him and how to listen to his own body, you will clean up many messes. You don’t have to hide in the closet with a bottle of wine at the end of each potty training day. Do your homework first so that you can set your little man up for success while reducing your own need to hide in the closet to pray for a stop to the madness. Children must learn to recognize the sensations that warn them that they need to use the potty, and then they must get to the potty, out of their clothing and into a seated position before their body starts expelling waste.
Your goal during this initial training phase is to help your child begin to understand the concept of bladder control. Talk about how they may feel before they have to go potty and ask them to notify you when they think they may need to go.
You must sit with your child while they are taking potty breaks, so why not sing songs, read books and talk about your day?
If you see signs that they are interested in the potty and are more aware of bodily sensations related to potty training, you may be eager to get started. Wait until you can give your child your complete attention and create a calm home environment without running out for errands.
You can take an extended weekend away from work and clear your family’s schedule to get started. This means you do not want to start potty training while trying to wean your child away from the bottle or into his or her own bed at night. This is your appointment with your child, and you can get excited about spending this special time just with your little boy or girl.
If you know your child is ready to learn right now but you are about to go on vacation, do you need to wait until vacation is over?
It can take six months or longer for some children to fully grasp the concept and take control of their potty behaviors. Introduce the process during this time, and then remain consistent with training until your child is fully trained. Your child will need to learn a completely new skill set in order to use the potty independently. If you take a laid back approach, make sure your child still understands what is expected of them when you start potty training. Other parents are overly cautious about waiting for their children to show signs of readiness, so they end up starting the potty training process far too late. You can avoid the drama that many parents experience by simply watching your child for signs of readiness.
It is well known that girls tend to step out of the diapers faster than boys, but there are exceptions.
During the day, it is common for your child’s diaper to remain dry for three hours or longer on a regular basis.
Your child discusses issues related to potty training and understands the concept of going potty. When watching someone else use the restroom, the child asks questions and seems interested.
The child understands that belongings should be placed in their proper place and shows a desire to put things away and do things properly. If you are uncertain, start introducing books and videos related to the subject or bring in the potty seat to see how your child reacts. For instance, they may never show you their interest in flushing the toilet or reading on the potty if you don’t give them access to the bathroom. While you have to expect some accidents during the toilet training process, effective parental guidance can take the hassle out of potty training a boy to use the restroom without making a mess. If you have an older boy in the family who is already potty trained, he will likely volunteer quite eagerly to become the role model. Reason with them that this is their child, grandson or otherwise a close relative, and they are only watching because they need to learn quickly. Your job as a parent or guardian is to help him identify the sensation that comes before he actually urinates. You can stop him at that exact moment and help him to understand that the sensation he feels right then signals that he is about to use the bathroom. For example, many parents notice that a child is pooping and say, “What are you doing?” It is more effective to say, “You are pooping now.
This allows him to sit directly on the potty when needed without taking the time to pull down pants and underwear. You can also set your child’s potty on tile or linoleum bathroom floors so it is easier to clean up any mistakes. You want your boy to identify the proper place for using the bathroom so that they start to use it in inappropriate places less frequently. For example, “using the bathroom” or “going potty” is far too general to help your child identify what he is doing.
You may tell him that he can spend more time playing once he is potty trained since he won’t have to stop for long diaper-changing sessions.
If he is big enough to comprehend what potty training is, he will have ideas and thoughts on the process. This practice will make him more comfortable with the potty training process and may get him excited to use the bathroom and get rid of his diapers.
He may have a special doll or bear that is used only for this purpose so that it feels like a special toy. Wrap up underwear with characters or pictures that he will like and let him open them while you are excited and happy. I wait until they are old enough to pull up and down their own pants and able to get on the toilet with a stool. The reasons a child may resist training include fear of the toilet, past punishment for not using the potty, a power struggle between him and his parents and a medical problem, such as constipation, according to the Keep Kids Healthy website. Do we declare our independence from diapers publicly while behind closed doors, we really have a closet full of diapers for occasions other than just pee during the day when the child is awake? The marathon of parenting ebbs and flows differently for all of us and while I’m in a dark place and someone else might not be, theirs will happen another time. Your little baby is becoming a toddler, and after that they will become a little boy, pre-teen and then a teenager.


There will be days when you want to scream and run away from home, but your love for your child will keep you plugged in and trying over and over again. There are strategies you can implement to make this process easier, faster and far more enjoyable for all.
Some of the ideas will work for your child, and others you will rule out right away because you know your child best. Allowing your child to run naked or in light clothing that is easy to remove is a big start, but there are other things you can do to help your little one control their bladder to eliminate accidents. Since your child has your complete attention without any distractions during this period of time, they will feel excited and eager to please you. If they have an accident, talk about what they may have felt before going and how they can avoid that happening again. The more opportunities they have to control their bladder, the faster they will matter this skill.
When they can’t go, let them know that is okay and remind them to let you know if they feel the urge after you leave the bathroom. Respect your child and limit the damage by putting potty training off for another month or so.
Your child needs a calm environment with a lot of time to simply hang around the house with the potty waiting nearby. Make sure there are no vacations or important appointments that will drag you away from your child during this time.
If you can find a couple days right now to get the process started and your child is ready to learn, then go for it.
Besides understanding what the potty is used for, they must also learn how to physically control their bodies to make it happen at the right moment.
Every child is different, and you will notice that siblings are quite different in how they learn to potty.
The result in either of these cases is complete failure and unnecessary stress on the child.
Boys are more likely to struggle with bowel control even after they have successfully trained to urinate in the potty. This includes understanding the connection between keeping their pants dry and going to the potty. If your child still seems unwilling to do anything you ask them to do, you may want to wait until they are out of that disobedient phase. This is done by paying attention to the child’s behaviors immediately before he pees his diaper or has an accident.
It also makes it far easier for him to see what his body is doing and how that correlates to how he feels before, during and after a potty session.
Make sure you do not scold or shame him for these mishaps since they are an expected part of the potty training process.
Little boys two-years-old and older do not need to be changed on a changing table, so make full use of your restrooms. You can tell him that he will feel more comfortable when he doesn’t have to wear a diaper, and diaper rash will no longer bother him. Get to the store and let him pick out his own big boy underwear and talk to him about not getting them dirty or wet so he can wear them longer. The goal is to make him comfortable and familiar with all equipment used to use the restroom. He will get used to the sound and may get so excited about flushing that he wants to use the potty faster.
Whenever he makes a step toward being potty trained, throw little celebrations and shower him with hugs and kisses. If you use a potty chair, Babycenter advises against using one with a urine guard because it can scrape your son's penis. After collecting a set number of stars, give him a prize of his choosing, such as a new toy or a day at the arcade. Your job is to prepare them for toddlerhood and beyond through efficient potty training lessons.
It is important to remember that this is a personal process, and each child must find their own way to adjust to using the potty. The idea is to give you a variety of options so you can select the potty training resources and strategies that may work with your child’s temperament, age and abilities. The fewer distractions you have in your life the better, but you may have to create fewer distractions if your life is super busy.
If you throw in even more life change, they are less likely to respond to any of it in a positive manner. One child may easily make the leap from diapers to potty before they turn two while another child shows no interest in the potty until they are three.
Ideally, mothers and sisters will only role model for little girls, but that may not always be possible. Even if it becomes his favorite toy and he drags it all over the house, at least he is getting used to the idea of sitting on it.
Look at these BIG BOY underwear, chicks are going to dig you in these!" Make certain that you have enough 'cause they're gonna get soiled.
Otherwise you'll have to teach it later and have embarrassing moments when guests are over.
Sure, we’ve all heard of those miracle kids who potty train themselves and never have any accidents and poop on the potty right away and none of it required any work for their parents.
Why are a few pee pee accidents on the carpet a few days in a row after a few weeks of no accidents – why is it so demoralizing and frustrating and disappointing?
Another way to know that they are ready is if you notice that their diaper is staying dry for longer periods of time. Realize that it's going to be a few days of consistent "training." When you start, tell your child what is happening.
It gets awkward when your seven year old boy never shuts the door when he pees (true story)!
The goal for me was that they must be wearing underwear to their 3rd birthday party or they would get NO presents (just kidding). You know the ones that show the boy do his business and it makes a flushing sound at the end?
The potty training regression was the final straw in my decision to quit motherhood the week before July 4. I noticed that if I didn't set a timer I'd forget and there would be more accidents and it would slow the process down. He won't need to go every time but if he's on the toilet basically all day, he's bound to make a deposit at some point.



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Comments

  1. Ayten, 18.10.2015
    Interfere with the way the seat belt buckles, and spot.
  2. delfin, 18.10.2015
    For abnormal toilet training delays, it tends to make sense to evaluate delays concept ??about two to two 1/two.
  3. Narkaman_Lubvi, 18.10.2015
    Never ask her to go or attempt and is four or older, it is advised that you do take who couldn't speak, stand.
  4. SEVGI_yoxsa_DOST, 18.10.2015
    Well early, eager to brag about time diapers at four and a half (just.