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A Mother’s Final Gift is the story of one courageous woman a€“ Louise Viola Swanson Wollenberg a€“ and of her tremendous love of life and family, and her faith and resolve. This book not only touches the heart in a very powerful, poignant, and joyful way, but reading it was life-changing for me. Discover tips on helping kids adjust to a new blended family or step parent including trust, discipline and authority. Learn about the laws, age appropriateness, safety and practical aspects of leaving you children home alone. Learn some simple disciplinary steps to get your child to stop talking back and arguing with adults and parents.
Learn how to cope with planning your child’s birthday party with these stress-free tips and ideas. Discover how to keep communication open and positive between kids and parents during a divorce and how to cope with the changes in family life. Learn how to deal with strong willed children, giving kids choices, how to deal with sibling fighting and much more.
Attorney Lori Barkus explains why equal time-sharing is in the best interest of the children of divorce. A parents separation or divorce may end their relationship, but parents must be encouraged to work together to ensure that both remain a part of their children’s lives. Although courts are becoming more receptive to shared parenting, not every court or Judge is on board.
Clear and convincing evidence of extenuating circumstances justify a departure from equal time-sharing with written findings justifying the departure. A permanent injunction has been entered or is warranted against a parent or household member. A consortium of 110 world experts from 15 countries have endorsed overnights and shared care for children of all ages. Commentators opposed to shared residence and overnights for infants and toddlers have been relying on misleading interpretations of very flawed research to argue that young children need to spend most of their time, and every night, in the care of one “primary” parent. It’s important to know that Justice Winkler introduced MM to civil courts in 1997, and since then several studies have been done which demonstrated that first of all it saved the courts two thirds in trial time and costs. Also worth noting is that I communicated with the former Attorney General, the Honourable Christopher Bentley’s office on both these issues.
What you end up with is a very limited role for the lawyers and judges and in only the most extreme cases. My first response was that court based evidence of DV is a crime and belongs in criminal court and not family court and provided the Stats Canada below. Given that men don’t report near as much as women, you know the numbers are higher for men.
With respect to Bill C-422, An Act to amend the Divorce Act (equal parenting) and to make consequential amendments to other Acts, this bill died on the Order Paper when Parliament was dissolved on March 26, 2011.
The Conservative Party’s own Policy Declaration states in section K, under the title SOCIAL POLICY, #69, “The Conservative Party believes that in the event of a marital breakdown, the Divorce Act should grant joint custody, unless it is clearly demonstrated not to be in the best interests of the child. I’m pushing for equality —both parents should have equal rights and equal access to their child,” Hill said. Justice Harvey Brownstone stated in an interview with CBC’s Susan Ormiston, “My position is that the Family Court is the last place that parents in conflict should be going to, to convert themselves from ex-partners, to co-parents. I appreciate your comments and do feel Parents should put the needs of their children first.
Perhaps I’m a bit old fashioned, but I do believe those interested in children, and especially those who profit off the existing system, have a personal responsibility to determine and eradicate every bit of the conflict that is manufactured along the way. In fact I would say that some of the fiercest have been women who are fighting for their husbands gaining access to his kids from a former marriage. I have briefly thought about Fathers Rights groups from time to time, but didn’t join likely due to a lack of personal involvement of not having my family torn apart.
My only concern with this is that the Domestic Violence rule is going to cause a lot of Women to manufacture Domestic Violence in order to not do shared parenting.
I think the concept is great and couldn’t agree more that both parents need to be equally involved. So needless to say…I would love the concept of shared parenting to work but I tend to lean on the side of seeing more flaws in it than workability. My husband has paid extravagant child support for ten years, until the past year when we were nearly bankrupt due to the economy. And we have kiddo 40% of the time, and we still have times where we have to fight to have him. When it comes to raising children, there are things that a woman can provide for their children that a father cannot, and there are things that a father can provide for their children that a mother cannot.
My research supports the benefits of shared parenting for children of divorce into adulthood.
This articles does a wonderful job outlining the importance of shared parenting and I strongly support it as a member of Leading Women For Shared Parenting. The only people that oppose shared parenting after divorce or separation are those with a vested interest in excluding one of the childrens’ parents. With shared parenting, where mom and dad have the child 50% of the time, what provisions have been made for child support? In her declaration she has stated that I have physically abused her, I have anger issues, she fears that I will take the children out of the country even though she is the one holding the passports and she is afraid for the well being of her family, herself and the kids. What Florida is asking is fine and dandy but in the real world, women who want to destroy the ex-husband and make sure he doesn’t get the kids, will do what ever she can.
As easy as it is to throw up your hands and say, this is how it is and it’s never going to change, we need re frame from doing so. There are actually internet sites that coach women on how to get the kids and worse yet, how to utterly destroy fathers.


It’s great that some progress is being made but you have to be honest and agree that it’s minimal at best.
While shared parenting is a feel good for the parents, something very important gets taken away from the children. Thanks for sharing your perspective, but in fact, the literature clearly shows children are happier in such situations. To hear their perspective, here’s an article with the children commenting on the very subject you describe.
Drew, I appreciate your frustration in how you feel your children were negatively impacted. First, there’s a critical difference in what you posted from the article I shared and what I posted.
The main argument I see you making and others is that kids are shuffled between homes living in a suitcase. More researchers are also getting the opinions of grown children that lived in shared parenting situations, and from what I have seen the majority opinion is very positive.
I can tell you from personal experience that the children I have seen like the idea of two homes, two rooms, two holidays, and so on, and at the same time no one knows your personal situation. In preparing for birth, there are great festivities, gifts are given, baby showers are planned and carried out, baptisms, brisos, and other religious rites are festively marked, nurseries are painted, cribs are built, booties are knitted, and the whole process is generally celebrated for nine months. I had actually put off reading it because my own mother is ninety years old and not well.
But it is also the story of her equally courageous family who, in the process of rising to the occasion and carrying out Louise’s long-held final wishes, not only overcame so many stigmas about the process of death but, at the same time, rediscovered what it means to celebrate life itself.
In writing this book, Joyce and Barry Vissell, and their children, mentor us through an experience that many of us were afraid to even think about it.
Courts began to recognize how damaging these labels are (and possibly unconstitutional) and lawmakers began rewriting custody laws to reflect the concept of time-sharing.
As a practicing family attorney, I have seen, all too often, children become pawns in their parents divorce. Ask any daughter who grew up without a father, any mother of a divorced son, any paternal grandmother, sisters of divorced brothers, stepmothers or others. The process by which it has gone about amending child custody laws amply demonstrates the opposite. The calibre of the distinguished international authorities is exceptional and the names and affiliations are listed in the Appendix.
An estimated 7% of women and 6% of men representing 653,000 women and 546,000 men in a current or previous spousal relationship encountered spousal violence during the five years up to and including 2004, according to a comprehensive Statistics Canada report on family violence. Aside from benefiting children, shared parenting is better for both parent’s long term mental wellness and financial success. So I have to wonder why, with all the years that some of these groups have been in existence and visible, why you didn’t align with them? As we all know, the definition of violence is so low that just about any marital argument meets the definition of violence. I have conducted three research studies and found an association between lowered self-esteem and loss of regular access to both parents for adult daughters of divorce.
Shared parenting reduces conflict between parents after divorce and improves the self-esteem and well-being of children. The cops came, spoke with me and the kid and said there is no evidence of a beating and the child is acting normal and happy.
Most men have limited incomes and the ex-wife will drag his ass in court for as long as she has to. We’ve all either been affected badly by family courts or have seen the corruption first hand, and this is why we need to make a stand for what is right and what is healthiest for our children, our future.
I wish I’d saved every notice I received through the years of fathers that gave up and killed themselves.
While the child’s father said his daughter was weathering the unusual commute fine, it was costing her parents about $20,000 a year. This house would be the children’s home with my ex and I doing the moving in and out. Most of us do not want to think about it a€“ either about our own deaths, or the deaths of our loved ones. So at first, I was loath to read what I knew would be an emotionally-charged chronicle of another mother’s death. This phrase sounds comforting, but, since judges are not required to explain their decisions, many argue the standard is nebulous. A shared parenting bill prevents the minimization of one parent, usually the father, from a child’s life. Groups of women are now starting to assemble to change the system that hurts both them and our children. Presumptions provide a starting point, a leveling of the playing field, removing the winner takes all approach to child custody- a framework that is in no one’s best interest. Children need and want both parents in their lives, not as visitors, but as active and equal participants.
She is admitted to practice in Florida, Georgia and the District of Columbia, in addition to the Southern and Middle Districts of Florida and the Eleventh Judicial Circuit Court of Appeals.
The coalition government has burned much midnight oil, produced many reports and came up with the same old thing. As a counselor who has worked with children of divorce and coordinated divorce recovery groups for these children for 23 years, I have seen so many variables. All it is going to take is a mutual fight, where the man slams a door or raises his voice and 911 is called. Daughters that grow up without fathers spend their lives grasping onto any male figure to fill that role, and in essence they are trying to fill a void inside themselves.


Linda Nielsen, a distinguished researcher, discovered that only 10-15% of dads and daughters enjoy the benefits of shared parenting after divorce. My findings demonstrate that daughters of divorce will have higher self-esteem and improved intimate relationships as adults if they have equal access to both parents after divorce.
Heartless people that don’t care about the harm they cause to our most precious and valuable citizens .
It bothers me that you use the term “participation” which leads me to believe it has to do with physical participation but it doesn’t address financial participation. Death is the penultimate experience that will happen to all of us, and to everybody we know, but many of us become ostriches with our heads in the sand when faced with thinking about it. Many Judges retain the belief that it’s preferable for children to have one primary residence.
There are some exceptional cases in which shared parenting is inappropriate or where one parent cannot spend equal time with the children, due to work or other reasons.
She is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Circuit Civil and Family Law Mediator, a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the Collaborative Family Lawyers of South Florida. The fictional shared parenting provision to be inserted into Children Act section 1 is a prescription for the status quo.
That is why we have judges making these decisions, but I hate to see the decisions about children made by a judge who doesn’t know the family at all. Knowing many of these groups, I can tell you that they are not “good old boy” groups and I’ve seen countless instances where women have been proactive in the fight for custody. Children are not meant to be raised in a single parent home, that is why it takes two to create a life and therefore it takes those two to raise the life. That is the reasoning for the articles written, the rallies, shared stories, rights groups, activist, protest, petitions and the like, when we see something wrong we need to help change it, we should not succumb. We need laws and policy that promote and encourage equal participation of both parents and which also provide for some leeway in situations that require it.
The title of this book is indeed A Mother’s Final Gift but, in truth, this story is an exceptional gift to every person who will read it.
Although there is a plethora of research showing this is not the case, many remain unaware or unwilling to acknowledge it. Additionally, the lesser-earning parent opposes equal time-sharing because it will lower their monthly child support payment.
A judge can order more or less time sharing if an equal time-sharing arrangement is truly detrimental or impossible. Lori handles matters involving : divorce, custody, child support, paternity, Collaborative Divorce, adoption, parental rights, Labor and Employment litigation and family law and civil mediation. Moreover, the unconvincing acceptance of the House of Lords further revision is a national disgrace and demands rethinking. This is then going to create the appearance of domestic violence getting worse which will then be blamed on shared parenting.
We are entering a generation now where I feel shared parenting is the only option, we have both men and women fiercely involved in the workforce and should be able to lean on each other for help, support and balance when it comes to raising their children.
There will still be conflict in some cases and those will have to be addressed by a judge, but the majority of cases will see far less conflict when both parents are on equal footing in a divorce or custody proceeding.
I have seen first hand how disruptive it is to a child having to move house week after week. While such will help both women and men, we believe the voice of a group of strong women will be required to correct the messaging about current family law practices. There are parents (fathers mostly, as 85% of custodial parents are currently mothers) who are able and willing to spend equal time with their children. Creating the best nurturing environment that a child needs and deserves stems from the parents and what they are capable of giving from every aspect, financially, emotionally, and mentally, which is easier achieved when two parents can work as a team and unit. No child should be denied the participation of two capable and loving parents and no parent should be forced to bargain for or purchase time with their children. If they have equal time with both parents, they don’t really have a home of their own.
I think if any opinion should be valued it should be one from a family law attorney, for they are not only speaking from one stance or personal experience but from a vast array of them. If they see one parent only every other week-end and one night a week, they miss ball games, sleepovers, etc.
They are exposed to every aspect involved when it comes to this very issue; the personal experiences from their clients, parents, children and the legal side to it. If we are going to go the shared cared way and I think we should, It needs to be done with more permanency for the child. This article reflects just that, a grounded explanation of shared parenting and why it is desperately needed to be implemented into family law. For me a more stable (for the children) solution is going month about with weekends for the other parent. If the parents can’t get along well enough to stay married, how can we expect them to agree on every issue for the children?
In the end, no matter what the arrangement, the child still lives the life of an itinerant.
Bottom line is the political fight over ObamaCare and the debt limit pales to the battle over whether the child goes to camp or to church or what the child eats for dinner.



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