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Arras is a WordPress theme designed for news or review sites with lots of customisable features. Tough love is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. Most parents enjoy readily throws out the term tough love when they give their teens harsh and almost unreasonable treatment. According to the definition earlier, parents actually have to care about their teens in order for their actions to be considered tough love. On the other hand, fake tough love is usually explained with some vague reason that can barely pass as an excuse.
No matter how unreasonable and counterproductive it is, as long parents declared it, then teens have to obey. Bad tough love is also known as authoritarian parenting, which strictly forces teens to be absolutely obedient.
Teens who grow up on bad tough love tends to be extremely terrible at socializing with others. They also have less self control so that they are always hungry to compete and to dominate, but don’t understand when to stop and feel gratitude.
Not only does it make them terrible to work with in a team, they are also destructive marriage choices, because of their lack of self confidence and self control.
However, statistics show that teens taught by bad kind of tough love tend to be very skillful as a lone wolf but horrible when it comes to working with others. It's common for fathers to have trouble accepting the fact that their little girl is all grown up. Jennifer TjonRelationship Advice ExaminerJennifer Tjon is your resident relationship advice guru. As the Super Bowl ends, getting relationships back on track beginsSince preseason started in 2015 there were teams playing their hearts out trying to be the ones who would be playing in Super Bowl 50. I am married for 2 years I hate my husband ,I use to disobey him ,sometimes I even use 2 pray for him to die.I married him because I don't want to disobey my parents. Thirdly, you shouldn't have accepted to marry him in the first place, just to please your parents, basically because, if your husband is in love with you, then you are going to hurt him big time by your mistake in marrying him to begin with. Talking about a situation, assuming IF you hadn't fallen in love with your other guy since young age and you observed proper Islamic way of life, lowering gaze etc then you wouldn't be wanting to divorce your present husband and disobeying your parents. It is possible that because of your 'love' for your other guy, you hated your husband so much and want to divorce him now. If your other guy has already been married, or has a GF or fiancee, and you can never marry him, would you still seek divorce ? If your husband is good person and you behaving just because you loved someone from young then Allah will be very upset with you. Sister if your husband is a good person try to love him and give his respect the one he deserve. You have not said anything about your husband abusing you, so I will assume that there are no serious problems in the marriage. Therefore the real obstacle to your happiness in this marriage is the feelings that you have for the boy you knew when you were young.
I know I am gonna face the same situation in the future, I love my parents but this is a question of life. Marriages that are done due to a couple falling in love with one another are acceptable but are usually an unlawful way of approach. Abu Hurairah narrates that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said “when one with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage then accede to his request.
Whilst we understand the importance of love and compatibility we must also ensure the approval of both parties.
As explained above, Islam regards marriage as a right of the individual and therefore others cannot make the decision for them. If this does not happen then those who forced the marriage and those who allowed it are both guilty and have committed a major sin. Khansa Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). At first, the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) told Al Khansa to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concerns of fathers for the well being of their daughters is well known.

Assalam o alaikum i lve my husbnd al0t but my husbnd ign0re me all the time i m fed up n0w by gvng hm l0ve more than he deserve.
Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu'aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. If you agreed to this marriage (whether vocally or with silence) then you must fulfill your role as a wife and seek to find ways to love him.
Perhaps, due to my own shortcomings, I would be lying if I denied that I struggle with the above without it being balanced with the nature of what a woman is.
In a variant in Muslim, "Woman was created from a rib, and you will never find any means to straighten her.
I feel sorry for the couple because they both, husband and wife, have been suffering for 2 years when the post was written 2 years ago, so I hope that it is better for them now.
She has to be willing to accept her mistake and take responsibility for her choice and live in the present and her husband, I can't say much--but perhaps he needs strategies too in how to deal with her--maybe being sweet like honey and not sour like vinegar. Ultimately, if I could, I would ask the OP do you want to stay or do you want to leave this marriage? A lot of these types of situations are not necessary if we just learn to communicate better and most people wouldn't flee from their marriages and responsibilities, if they knew they were being heard. In your case , simply leave your husband , marry the other guy if he still wants to marry you. The phrase was evidently coined by Bill Milliken when he wrote the book Tough Love in 1968 and has been used by numerous authors since then.
There are also self esteem issues so it’s difficult for these teens to feel success even if they have the skills to back them up. Some abused teens have natural talent when it comes to recovering their self esteem and socializing skills even after they have left their parents’ shadows. My parents (mostly my father) are always really hard on my boyfriends but they especially don't like my current boyfriend of seven months. There is someone I am so much in love with since I was young I use to think of him day and night .please help me out I don't know what to do. Pre-marital,extra-marital relationships are all forbidden and if done, needs to be repented.
Husband wife relation should be base on trust, obeying each other and ask happiness from Allah. BIG MISTAKE sister, if you knew you loved someone else you should have followed your heart and done what you wanted know this is hard but at least you would have been happier.
We all have dreams only if they were true but the real thing is that Allah makes each and every pair to live their life with each other. But as you didnt provide any information regarding your own husband and the guy you wanted to marry, no one can give out an opinion. Meaning, that two people of the opposite sex start a relationship and then decide they want to marry. However, one must also recognize that forced marriage is a problem occurring today and Islam condemns it to the highest degree. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her in to marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage. Hafsa, I don't deny a single word that she has written and for a Allah-fearing woman, these are good reminders to help us along in this sometimes very difficult dunya. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. You should have married the man you liked and should not have married this guy as its not his fault either. They never think anyone is good enough for me and make rude comments that hurt my boyfriend's feelings when we are all together. Either work at your own attitude or leave your husband because as a wife your not even doing the basic and i dont think no person should put up with someone who dont work together in a marriage including compromise and showing respect. However, one must also realize that this is happening and therefore if a couple are in a relationship they must either get married immediately and save themselves from sin or separate.
The issue of forced marriages is not one that is limited to some Muslims, but Hindus, Sikhs and other religions also acknowledge it as a problem.
However, daughters and sons should also recognize the rights of their parents and come to an agreed solution before the marriage takes place.

However, people have the tendency of bending the religion as per their desires and they will be answerable for their decisions. But some men have a harder time showing their love or expressing themselves in ways that we females do.
If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands.
I talk from experience , In my case I had no one else in life and my mother was too abusive so I had to marry the guy of her liking but I never loved him and couldnt love him as he and I are totally different people.
Most likely if you were married to him, you would find the same problems that exist in any marriage. When you don't love someone and still are living with that person, sooner or later that person will come to know about your feelings towards him.
I know it is hard on you because you are giving and it feels like you are not getting back what you are giving.
By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband.
Meaning if you do not protest the marriage vocally, then the marriage is valid (not forced ) and your husband has all rights on you.
If not , then being in love with another man through haram means is not a valid reason for divorce ; neither will it benefit you.
It's a perfectly normal reaction but it's up to you to show your parents that you are a mature woman capable of making the right choices in life. If parents have certain rights in relation to their children, children also have a few rights.
If you are not in love with him then love him for the sake of Allaah and this is the purest love. Hopefully you are being wise in your choice of partner and he isn't currently in or recently paroled from prison.
The parents should have made sure whether you are agreeing to the marriage with heart or just to make them happy.
You can vocalize kindly with your husban and tell him how much you love him but that you need his attention and time. Also, I cannot stress enough the importance of your role as a wife in regards to how you treat your husband. If you have a husband who treats you well and gives you your rights appreciate him because other sisters are looking for such husbands. They most likely have your best interests at heart but if they are indeed playing the role of protective parents a little too dutifully, it's up to you to modify their behavior. Also, many husbands carry the responsibility of caring for his wife , children (if any) and his parents. You should sit your parents down without your boyfriend in the room and have a calm, mature heart to heart.
Keep patient and continue to love and obey him , understand his nature is different than your own. The displeasure of your husband on you would be so much worse for you when you stand In front of Allaah swt.
Sometimes what we really need to do when we don't love others , is purify our own hearts , actions and thoughts. I know I sound horrible but sometimes we all need break esp from arranged unwanted marriages. I earn more than my hubby , I am ahead from him in every walk of life , that was one reason I could not accept and love him as my life partner but I was never unfaithful with him. Tell them that you're going to date whomever you choose and that their opinion is unwanted. It's probably going to be an uphill battle but once it becomes clear to them that their opinion will not affect your actions they will hopefully focus their energy in more positive ways.
Hopefully with time your boyfriend will win over your parents' hearts and they will see him as the great guy you know him to be.

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