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Whether you’re wondering how to handle a specific challenge, just figuring out your child-raising approach, or ready to tear your hair out, you’ve come to the right place. From tantrums to texting, the secret of happy parenting is a close relationship with your child.
It's amazing how acknowledging your child's anger can stop a brewing tantrum in its tracks.
We can't change our child's basic personality, and the outside environment has a profound effect, from peers to school to media. It's appropriate for teens to want to spend more time with their peers than their parents as they get older, but kids who are well grounded in their families will respond well to parents' efforts to stay connected. Much of the same advice applies that was true when he was a toddler: Reconnect every day, and don't wait when you see there's repair work to be done. Parents of teenagers frequently tell me that they no longer know how to connect with their children. The more frequently teens eat dinner with their families the better they do in school, the happier they say they are, and the less likely they are to get involved with drugs, alcohol, sex, or vandalism. Even if you could hover over your child and help him navigate every obstacle, it wouldn't be good for him.
Bullying is preventable, and you can bully-proof your child -- and keep him from becoming a bully. Parents are the most important influence on whether kids drink alcohol, and the earlier you start these conversations, the better.


I often get questions from parents unconvinced of the effectiveness of my parenting techniques. Some psychologists think values are impossible to teach, and it is certainly true that telling kids to be more honest, or diligent, or considerate, doesn’t work any better than telling adults to be. Parenting helps you create a more peaceful home - and happy, responsible, considerate kids!
If you've been separated all day, make sure you reconnect before you try to shop for dinner. Your child is trying to assert that he is a real person, with some real power in the world. Let him say no whenever you can do so without compromise to safety, health, or other peoples' rights.
When your child gets angry, remember that all anger is a defense against more uncomfortable feelings -- vulnerability, fear, hurt, grief. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. The developmental stage is all about moving toward independence, not always gracefully or responsibly. But how we parent makes the critical difference in how our teen acts, from how rebellious he is to whether she throws emotional tantrums, from whether he gets enough sleep to how studious she is.
Much like the toddler years, kids sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask, for some of the same reasons: Their job now is to find their sea legs as a person, to shape an identity, to sort out what's important to them.


Parenting moment this week came when my almost 14 year old daughter had some friends over for a sleepover.
I asked Elyse Suter, who had recently graduated from college and was working as my assistant, to write an article for the Aha! Don't expect your teen to open up a lot at the dinner table, but use it as a foundation for your relationship, so he or she WILL open up to you during those car rides, or late-night talks that teens seem to love. But believe it or not, there are parents whose kids who talk to them, and even ask their advice, even as teenagers. When your child was a baby or toddler, you were always there, or you left your child in the care of a trusted, nurturing adult. Kids whose parents teach them the risks of using drugs and alcohol are half as likely to use them. This is a topic you'll want to revisit over the years as your child reaches new levels of understanding -- and temptation.
And when kids begin to navigate the sidewalks or even public transit themselves, it can be positively nerve-wracking.



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