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Monica Beyer is a mom of four and has been writing professionally since 2000, when her first book, Baby Talk, was published. Your toddler may be using the potty on a regular basis, but you haven’t quite dared to put him in underwear. Sure, your toddler goes to the potty at your request now and then, but you’ll want to wait until she shows signs of wanting to pee or poop on her own.
We often hear of early pooping-on-the-potty success as  happening accidentally, almost as a byproduct from simply sitting down and peeing.
MOLLY: I’m trying to train my little guy now (he’s 2), and when he has to go poop, he runs and hides in the closet. Here’s the idea about potty-training: In the beginning, infants and babies have no idea when they’re peeing or when they’re pooping. So for your little guy, he’s well on his way because he’s aware ahead of time that he’s going to poop and he goes someplace and does it. MOM: Right, so I wouldn’t be at all concerned about a child that only pees in the potty at first.
It can be helpful if the kid has an older sibling or older friend they can watch use the toilet.
MOLLY: Is there anything you can do if the child insists on putting on a diaper to poop but is totally potty trained for peeing?
I would also use pull-ups and and an incentive, maybe a sticker chart or other small reward system. MOLLY: What are the possible long-term consequences if the child doesn’t potty train by four?
MOM: If by 4-years old, the child is still not fully potty trained, consider seeing a pediatrician to be sure there are no medical issues.
Check out this first book in our series where we talk about how the first 18 months of your child’s life determines their future self-confidence, self-esteem and ability to trust others.
This blog is about raising kids and how our parenting decisions now can have long term effects.
I can see you have a problem and have tried lots of things to get the potty training going with your son – things I would have suggested, too. We have been having our son sit during in the morning and before showers to potty successfully.
Thanks I will try what you said Because I Do have a older son maybe he will help my son with pooping in the potty .
I am the proud owner of 3 Dudes who rarely no longer poop, pee, or otherwise soil themselves.  They wear underwear daily without incident and have been for ages. I take full credit for this (okay, the third one figured out the potty all by himself a couple weeks shy of his second birthday, but still, I count it as a mom win because, after all, I own the bathroom) success. My youngest is now four and, within the last 3 months, he has even graduated to wiping himself with relative accuracy which means, I am largely obsolete. But, all of this wisdom can be put to use to help all of you younguns get your Dudes trained up nicely. I have tried bribes, books, videos, waiting, him wanting to go to school and swim lessons, charts, stickers and NOTHING!!
Well I have a girl and will be starting soon but I must say I dont think I will try a pull up-I have not heard one positive thing about them! It took forever at my house for me to back off and for JDaniel to decide he wanted to stop soiling briefs. Potty training at our house is like old furniture, you wish you could replace it, some day. Because of the different size and shape of toilet bowls we now offer 2 different size clips.
Potty Training Concepts Reply: The Weeman Potty Training Urinal is in fact only designed for normal sized toilets as noted in the description of the product. I have to admit that I'm not thrilled with a urinal in my bathrooms, but it worked and he's not so at risk of getting hit by the lid, falling in, etc. I am so happy with the weeman and it really works great I wish I could spread the word over here in my small community of baby boomers, it is a great product and it would surely sell well here.
I have a hand held water sprayer attached to the toilet and just rinse it off when he's done.
Making that leap from Pull-ups or training pants to virtually no protection at all in the case of an accident can seem daunting, and understandably so. Toddlers can hold their urine to a pretty impressive level and when it releases it can create a small flood. Reminders and regular visits to the restroom should cut down on the chances, but don’t lose your cool if she creates a puddle.
Susan Rutherford (MOM): It’s not unusual at all for children to train for peeing on the potty before they master pooping on the potty.
The child may even be surprised: “Oh, what was that?” This is certainly cause for celebration, though it by no means indicates the child is fully potty-trained yet. When I ask if if he wants to go on the potty he shakes his head vigorously and says “NO!” Although he pees on the potty all the time, he’s adamant about not sitting on the potty when he has to poop. The trick is to get him on the potty at the point that he almost can’t hold it in and he experiences going on the potty. Show the young child the older kid’s poop in the toilet and you might find that the concept finally clicks. One dad said he started talking to his son about the shape of his own poops and what they resembled – much like people do clouds. While we would not ask an adult this question, we would ask a kid who doesn’t want to give it up. We already do your first suggestion for clothes, foods, desserts, activities, I have begun to wonder if we give her too much choice because her strong will is more obvious now, But I will continue letting her make these decisions.
She has been peeing in the potty since she was 2.5, dry through the night since long before that and rarely has a pee accident. Going through this *exactly* and have tried every suggestion on this page and in the comments. It might be helpful to talk with his teachers so that they might be helpful in this process. You might want to watch him carefully and when he looks like he has to poop, cheerfully suggest sitting on the potty and you two can talk during the process -not about pooping, just general talk.


Tonight I decided to let him clean up his own accident so we will see where that goes but I am so frustrated!!! He growing taller and slimming down, most of his baby chubba lubs are gone, but he still has plenty for me to munch on, and I DO love munching. He was greatly on track right before his little sister was born then seemed like he back tracked severely. I would also offer a prize for every time he successfully uses the potty, and when he doesn’t, maybe take 1 item away from him and put it in a box with the understanding that he can get it back when he does use the potty.
Although it can be extremely difficult our best advice is to stay calm and relaxed about the situation. In her free time she enjoys losing weight easily, looking like a soap star the moment she rolls out of bed, and riding around town on her unicorn. Make sure you check to see if the clip will fit the rim on your toilet or this product will be useless to you. If in fact this product is purchased and the clip does not fit, please contact us and let us know because we do offer larger clips when the original clips do not fit. This removable device sits on the rim of the toilet once the seat has been lifted, effectively turning the toilet into a urinal for young boys.
That’s actually a good sign because it shows he’s aware of what the feeling of needing to empty your bowels means and he will go somewhere to alleviate that sensation.
The third stage of toileting development comes when a child masters an awareness before the evacuation occurs that allows him to act on the knowledge. In the toddler’s brain, he likely already wants to do everything the older child does.
What you see is an overt control fight between the child and the parent that gets played out not just in toilet training but in much of every day life. She has degrees from Duke University, New York University (NYU), and the University of Denver. Namely, if your son has a good friend who is potty trained, I would suggest that your son go with him and watch what he does. I wouldn’t even begin before 23 months with a boy, and it probably will be later than that.
He is susposed to go to pre k in September but if he’s not pooping how can he go to school? She has pooed on the potty when she first started potty training, but think it was more of an accident. If this is the problem, you might want to pay attention to the times of the day she is likely to poop, and have her sit on the potty at those times. Once he actually goes again in the potty, it will encourage him to continue, and, of course, you’ll be complimenting him. I will ask him if he has to go he will say no, and turn around and poop in his underwear 2 min. My problem is that I have tried ALL OF IT and then some and I can not get my almost 4yo to poop on the potty.
When she was a year old, she started having constipation issues, and we finally just got that sorted out a few months ago with the help of a gi doctor. Did you do the little portable potty you take in different rooms or attach a smaller seat to the normal toilet? He knows where he should go, tells me even when i ask him but still he goes where eve, when ever! Put him back in diapers, put away the underwear, quit talking about it, wait a couple of months, and then see if you can convince him that it’s HIS idea to use the big boy potty. And as frustrating as it is, the best advice I got was to leave him alone and he will do it on his own eventually.
My second son we did the go naked thing and after one horrible day of messes he was potty trained. Have him clean up everything, scrub the carpet, mop the floor, take away the toy he was playing with, but don’t put him back in pull ups (of course you have go clean in up after better).
And, when he does go on the potty make a HUGE deal about it, every time – positive reinforcement can go a long ways. He hung out with Pop Pop, went to the potty with Pop Pop was constantly asking and taking him. One of our girls actually potty trained herself because she was in a VBS group with kids a year older, and they all did it. When do you know it’s time to ditch the diapers and go forth with your child clad in undies?
This kind of early peer pressure, or rather, peer example, can be much more helpful than seeing a parent use the toilet. It also gets played out in school and in friendships where the kid needs to control the whole scene regardless of other people’s needs. Im also concerned that being he can’t communicate how will he be able to tell the teacher h he has to use the potty.
In addition, if you have a little bit older boy available, I would have him show your son what to do.
Now that we have her regular (with the help of Miralx and ex lax daily), we were hoping that would help her to tell us when she needs to go. I have a friend whose older kids completely potty trained her youngest son, and she didn't do anything! At this point it’s no longer potty training (he knows when and how to go) it is now a battle of wills.
My daughter (who is autistic and was 4 before she was trained) I told her that she would have to changer her own diapers (at 3) if she wouldn’t use the potty and she did a really good job of that. It’s a matter of will and I know it but I have a new baby and I can’t do it any longer! I will try the the tricks and will let you know my success story *optimistic* Thank you, mommies!
With our new Scotty potty, our bathroom is cleaner and I'm not constantly cleaning up incidents. After use, The Splatter Shield can be easily sanitized with the use of a disposable wipe or mild soap and water solution.
But, after about 3 months, she had some nasty problems with diarrhea and she refused to use the potty.


I bought lots of underwear with his fav charterers on them but still nothing… he will pee them and play in them like nothing bothers him…. Show him where you keep the clean underwear and when he has an accident let him feel the yuck. I would suggest at that point (or even earlier) that the parents seek help from a child therapist.
She hates sitting on the toilet or potty (even try and read to her etc.) and will not sit there for more than a few seconds.
He is in preschool now and I pray he won’t have an accident because he is suppose to be potty trained. Between the ages of 2 and 3 he had several episodes of chronic constipation that were very traumatic. We have tried every bribe in the book from stickers, to treats, special underpants, books, to special outings, etc. When she turned 4 I explained that the diapers didn’t fit anymore and that she now HAD to use the potty. Have him go pee every 20-30 minutes (you can make him sit backwards so he doesn’t pee everywhere) make him drink tons of water so he feels successful every time. This product also promotes better bathroom habits by making toddlers aware that the toilet seat should be in the upright position BEFORE use.
I had originally purchased the peter potty but it was too much of a hassle emptying it out, especially when he got the hang of it. These kinds of offers to her may then help her to decide to let the poop go into the potty. I purchased it with the standard size tab and even though it doesnt fully "click" on it still stays put. He feels better about not making a mess and of course I love that I don't have to clean his floor several times a day. I’m beginning to wonder if for some reason she is desensitised where she should be feeling the feeling beforehand. But honestly as a stay at home mom, I work with him constantly and my efforts are getting me nowhere.
I read all that is available online about potty training, but I was desperate, I didn’t know what to do, until a came accross a guide that saved me.
Try not to be impatient with him (although I wouldn’t be surprised if you were feeling impatient! Its very difficult for me not to lose my cool with her about this when I am changing underwear or pull ups 7 times a day! This teaches them accountability and they end up shaming themselves for what they have the power to prevent. My son actually enjoys attaching it and sliding it to his desired location on the toilet, so it is interactive for him. I taught him to stand with both legs touching the bowl and not to move till he is finished peeing.
One of the reasons that I went ahead and bought this potty shield was because it looks like an easy product to use to prevent a disaster in the bathroom. It doesn’t bother her at all when she soils herself and would have poopy pants for hours if she had it her way. I have two boys, ages 10 and 7, it has absolutely spared us from having to repaint the wall and radiator situated near the toilet.
Keep calm while you’re dealing with him, and just keep reminding him that this is his decision. He had a two week streak where he went almost every time on the potty and he earned a toy he hd picked out and I thought we were on the right path.
I know it’s a control issue, I feel like a complete failure as a mother I must have screwed her up badly for her to do this.
But shortly after receiving the toy, he completely stopped going in the potty and went back to going in his underwear. We always try to have her sit on the potty and go before these times, but usually without success and she just sits and fidgets and says she can’t do it.
We have been to the pediatrician, I guess the next step is the therapist and a mental hospital for me. Chocolate bars, trips to the bouncy zone, even a talking Woody Doll after a week with no daytime accidents! I don’t know what to do to get her to understand she needs to tell us BEFORE she goes.
Then when they dump it, it runs over the top edges when it is lifted up, missing the toilet and making a mess on the floor. Also, I have a nine month old son who will use this when he is older, so it was a great investment! 4 Stars - Great Product (Dec 27, 2011) Reviewer: Felicia This is a great product. He needed to urinate so bad he was about to go in the spot he was standing in so then he would run to the tolite and go all over his pants the rug and the walls.
My littlest turned 4 in September and like his friends at preschool he can load and play most Wii games, write his name, read small words, and sneak cookies from the pantry with great stealth! It took our son to day 2 to start using it and now he loves to pee and enjoys emptying the urinal himself. 5 Stars - LOVE IT!!!!! I wish I knew about this product with my first son! 5 Stars - (Jul 07, 2011) Reviewer: anonymous This thing works great. It's completely plastic so I'm not certain how long it will hold up; but the price is reasonable and another can easily be purchased. I don't know how it got him to go, even though he didn't seem interested before that day, but now he uses it all the time. Customer service was fantastic, and rushed out a bigger clip so that it could fit better on our toilet.
Wonderful company. 5 Stars - not ready (Nov 28, 2010) Reviewer: loretta my son does not want to even try to use is!



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Comments

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