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Parenting is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever face, and co-parenting can sometimes not just double, but exponentially increase those challenges.
Created by a divorced couple looking for a better way to communicate and exchange information about their kids, Our Family Wizard provides visitation and child custody schedules, calendars, parenting plans, and other co-parenting tools.
Again created by co-parents, 2Houses offers a calendar to organize custody and events, share information about school or doctor’s appointments, a photo album, a journal to record notes and important reminders like food allergies or sensitivities, and an expense module to manage child related expenses for both parents.
About One is ideal for accessing paperwork on-the-go, serving as an online file cabinet where you can keep receipts, health information, instructions for caregivers and school reports. Skedi is a cloud based app that syncs with your current online calendar – Google, Outlook, Yahoo!, or Microsoft Exchange. Cozi isn’t designed specifically with co-parenting in mind but is still a valuable tool for parents trying to manage life in two places.
How many times have people asked your kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This ambiguous question leaves some children dreaming of being the first astronaut to take a horse into space and open an ice cream shop, while other children are left in a mild state of frozen panic because they can’t imagine ever growing old enough to make those decisions. I recently came across an interesting thesis paper that examined the importance of goal setting for children when it comes to their education.
As a home school parent I am thankful that I can place much of the goal setting before my children and have them deeply involved with the directions of their studies. The thesis paper specifically examined the effects of having students in grade 5 set goals to help improve their writing skills. Set good examples by sharing with your children your own personal goals, how you are reaching for them, and what sometimes gets in your way.
Help your kids reach their goals by regularly checking in with them on the progress and offering tools that might help them reach their goals.
On May 5th, 2011, I was driving with my children from our home in Anaheim Hills to my teenage son’s Orange County Tutor Doctor appointment when, right after I merged onto the freeway, another driver swerved into our lane and my whole world stopped. Perhaps the most important thing to remember about dealing with a child victim of trauma is to offer your unconditional love and support.
An especially important key to helping a child to cope with trauma is to remember the principle illustrated on those in-flight emergency reference cards tucked into the seat in front of you aboard an aircraft: Before you help your child to don their oxygen mask, you must first don yours. Think about how you’d like to be addressed, and use that much respect in your tone with your child. Allow for child development while you create your expectations.  If you need some guidance on this for teens, click here. Trying to organize and keep track of homework, appointments, special dietary requirements and expenses can make your head spin. This synchronized app allows users to create profiles for each child and input information including scheduling and finances, as well as sending alerts to remind family members of important events like doctor’s visits, parent teacher conferences or ballet recitals. Through the calendar and tracking features, parents can schedule current and future visitation and support arrangements for up to two years’ in advance, which is a significant help in planning vacations and holidays.


Track scheduling, events, paperwork, and emergency contact information and access them at any time. Manage drop offs, pick-ups, and even assign to other family members so there’s never a doubt about who’s turn it is or who is responsible for getting something done.
Cozi offers an app and web site for managing your family’s calendars, to-do lists, chores, and shopping lists. Add recurring events like soccer practice or tutoring, forward the week’s agenda to family members, and have alerts sent via text or email.
After years working for non-profits and charities, she now freelances and researches on subjects from family and education to pop culture and trends in technology. No matter how your child answers that question, we as parents need to take a hard look at how we help (or don’t help) our children set goals and reach them.
The paper in part examined research that shows how disconnected children are from their own academic progress because they are not setting their own goals. While I am still accountable for certain aspects of their education, they are allowed certain latitude for subjects, resources used, and time frames for completion. Once the children were given opportunities for self-direction, dramatic improvements were noted. Even explaining to a 3-year-old that the goal for the morning is to get dressed, eat breakfast, and drive to the library helps to establish the word goal into the vocabulary with easy to reach measurements. Last year my husband set a goal to enter his first race, and soon he had my son on board to share that same goal. Let them know you don’t expect them to decide on their career today, but that a long-term goal might be owning you own business someday, and a short-term goal might be finishing that science project by Friday.
Instead of asking them what they want to be in 30 years, make small daily and weekly goals.
If your child makes a commitment to a project, encourage them to see it through to completion, even if it isn’t the journey either of you expected.
Make sure you also teach them how to define steps within the process that will help them succeed. She is also on an incredible journey as she home schools her 4 children, and is supported through it all by her husband of more than 15 years, Steve. I woke up in the hospital two days later, badly banged up and severely confused, in a panic whose source I could not identify until a nurse told me in reassuring tones that, thanks to their properly outfitted and installed car seats, my kids were fine. Give them the extra love and attention they may need, keeping in mind that hugs can give an important gift of healing.
Many children will express their feelings about the trauma by acting the scenario out with toys or by drawing pictures. News coverage of a disaster or images related to a traumatic experience can negatively affect a child. This gives the child a feeling that they are doing something about the experience and also relieves tension.


I am so grateful that, in the days following our car wreck, my sister was there for us to care for my kids while I recuperated. As alienating and frightening as a trauma can seem in the immediate (and even very long-term) aftermath, there are online support groups for every species of trauma imaginable.
Customized reports on visitation, support payments, expenses, and hours spent with child are generated for both parents and can be shared with third parties such as lawyers or court monitors. Teachers have state and federal guidelines, parents and school boards have specific expectations, and by the time it trickles down to the children, there is little emphasis put on the individual goals that the kids might envision. Instead of entering a classroom where the goal has already been set to finish 80% of the math book by the end of the year, my children can take it upon themselves to move through their mathematics studies at a more progressive speed so that they can move onto an advanced science course earlier than otherwise possible.
The literature review also revealed what many parents probably already know: when children have a vested interest in the outcome, they are more motivated and willing to do the work to achieve the end result. Finishing a building creation, biking 3 miles a day, or even reading 30 minutes every morning are reasonable goals. Allowing kids to quit whenever the going gets tough just reinforces to them that you didn’t have faith in them to get the job done. Children should be encouraged to acknowledge pride in their efforts, and as parents we can affirm for them the strengths it took them to achieve their goals. It is crucial that an adult be there to comfort and guide them as their still-developing brains lock in memories and build narratives to explain to themselves why their world has just been turned upside down. Take the time to find and join such groups because you deserve and need support more than you know.
Therefore, without goal setting, academic progress becomes less important and more difficult to achieve. This type of self-direction and goal setting is imperative for children in their academics. Children who learn to set goals develop their self-confidence and increase their abilities to independently find success.
Sharing in the struggles and triumphs is a wonderful way to help kids achieve their own goals. Achievable goals help set kids up for success and make it more likely that they will accept new challenges and make new goals.
In the meantime, whatever you have been through, I wish you and yours a speedy path to full recovery.



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Comments

  1. Elnur_Suretli, 08.06.2015
    You could put a potty in their bedroom childhood: help parenting skills Analysis, practice sue Swanson of Seattle Children's Hospital.
  2. rash_gi, 08.06.2015
    Will not have to make it to Z, but perhaps these parents had hopes Hodges' study will.