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My Beautiful ChildWhen you were born, you never came with instructions.I know I have made some mistakes along the way and for those I am sorry. This saying is right you didn't come with instruction, but my love for you will never go away.
This is very true and even though you are not with me anymore, I couldn't have loved you anymore. Parents often ask how best they can help their children once a diagnosis of dyslexia has been given.
Talk to your child about dyslexia and explain how it may affect the child and what you both can do to overcome it.
Attend a DAI Parents’ Course, talk or conference to learn more about dyslexia and how you can support your child. A good method to help with the learning of spellings is the SOS Spelling Method (see below).
Factsheet 16 – How Parents Can Help (PDF format) focuses on tips for helping your child through second level. Help with homework by being close at hand to answer questions and to ensure that the child stays on task. Keep in touch with the school and keep teachers informed of how things are progressing for the child.
Using a computer, particularly a word processor, can be a great help to a student with dyslexia. Students with dyslexia find schoolwork more tiring than other children do, so it is important for them not to take on demanding part-time jobs during school term, particularly in exam years. Paired (Shared) Reading is a very good way for parents to help with their children’s reading.
Keeping Notes: It is a good idea to keep a note of what you have read and how long you have read for.
When you are reading together and your child feels good enough, your child may want to read a bit alone.
When your child struggles for more than 5 seconds, or struggles and gets it wrong, you say the right word for your child. Then you both go on reading together, until your child feels good enough to read on alone again, and asks you to be quiet.
This video highights the importance of reading and shows children enjoying books and literature.
The SOS method involves ‘over-learning’ which reflects that children and young people with dyslexia take additional time to transfer learning into long-term memory.
Ask your child to copy the target word and to say the name of each letter as it is being written.
An abduction victim's recovery is largely dependent on the relationship with their primary caretakers. Listening empathically to children after a trauma, without judgment, is one of the greatest tools parents have.
While listening, it is constructive to both confirm and validate what your children have been through and how they feel about it. Abduction and the abuse that comes from holding someone against their will may cause post-traumatic stress in victims. Parents and primary caretakers can help their children by creating a structure in which to re-establish a sense of sameness and routine.


Parents should not press their children for the details of their ordeal, but rather allow such information to unfold. Make sure that you tell your children how much you love them, and how grateful you are that they are home, alive and safe.
Paired Reading (see below) is a wonderful technique which encourages reading for pleasure and meaning.
With younger children saying nursery rhymes, tapping out rhythms, singing memory songs (e.g. It is a good multi-sensory approach to learning spellings, which incorporates a lot of over learning, and is very effective. The class teacher will tell you how long homework should take, and if it is taking much longer than normal then it should be possible to work out an arrangement with the teacher as to how much will be done in any evening.
A good way to do this is by becoming a member of the Dyslexia Association, and becoming involved with your local branch. Check out abbreviated versions of classics which are designed for students learning English as a foreign language.
Remember – it may seem like a lot of work when you have a child with dyslexia, but they grow up fast. You must always remember to go back to reading together when your child has had problems with a word. It demonstrates how to carry our shared (paired) reading and shows children’s reactions to books and the Shared Reading programme.
If he or she makes any mistakes, identify the mistake and then continue once the mistake has been rectified. Children take their lead from their parents, and if their parents cope in a positive way with an impossible situation, then their children will feel that they can recover and move forward as well. If they have a strong family of origin, are well-bonded and have not experienced trauma before the abduction, they are more likely to have a positive outcome. Through listening to their children, parents are letting them know that they are still valued and validated, regardless of what damage they may have experienced.
On the other hand, never burden your children with how you feel about the trauma that they have experienced. If a parent or primary caretaker tells a child that everything will be all right, then he or she will believe that everything will be all right. The insecurity that accompanies such trauma can be devastating, as children are removed from the safe and intimate world they know. Art therapy, talk therapy, music therapy and role-playing are all helpful ways for children to express the unthinkable. Art therapy, including drawing and painting, is also a way in which children can convey the unthinkable: their feelings of such terror, that words cannot lend voice to them.
Encourage children to talk about their feelings, without pressuring them, which can only cause more anxiety and trauma.
For feelings of self-blame, doubt, or depression, parents should seek their own, separate professional help.
There is an ancient Jewish proverb, that when the heart is broken, it can mend -- though there will always be a scar.
The mistakes came from a lack of understanding, not a lack of love because from the moment you were born into my life, I knew I would love you with all I am.
Just as adolescents need time to sit and talk with their friends, it is important for them also to have time to chat with parents.


A walk through a field or by a river, in a shopping centre or round to Granny’s can be just as useful as a formal session.
Give praise for: good reading of hard words, getting all the words in a sentence right, putting words right before you do and even making a good guess at a new word.
Your local educational bookshop may be able to order books from these publishers for you.  Libraries often have a range of these books available.
Therefore, it is very important for parents to know their children and know their children's history. Children who have been traumatized by illness, abuse or discordant households, on the other hand, will have a more difficult time. Furthermore, by letting children express their feelings, parents give them a chance to grieve. Children that have been held captive in what can only be referred to as a prison mindset may now experience regressive behaviors such as insecurity, fear, hypersensitivity, sleep disorders, depression, free-floating anxiety and a heightened sense of death and destruction.
When words fail or cannot be used, these approaches can help children tell their painful story. Outside counseling offers the proper container for such activities, to help guide parents and children through this emotional minefield. If this chatting is not part of the younger child’s life then it certainly will not happen in teenage years. Never underestimate the amount of learning a child does simply by being with you and observing. Grandparents are a great source of support to children with dyslexia as they may have more time to chat and to listen or read. It is best if you talk at the end of a page or section, or your child might lose track of the story.
This requires tremendous courage and composure on the part of parents, who are themselves grieving. Thus, helping children re-enter their families of origin can be quite difficult, and may take a considerable amount of outside counseling and time.
Adults need to garner their support and reassurance from other adults -- not to have a role-reversal with their children.
It is very important to keep in touch with how a young person with dyslexia is coping, because dyslexia affects the whole personality, not just schoolwork. Parents are the most important teachers of their children but not necessarily in formal teaching – the informal teaching is equally effective. You stop reading our loud the moment your child signals, and praise them for making the sign.
For all practical purposes, abducted children are going through post-traumatic stress disorder.
Therefore, the main role that a parent has at this time is to re-establish a sense of balance, peace, calm, and security.



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