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I bet you could imagine how I felt; scared, invigorated, guilty, and triumphant all at the same time. Perhaps you’re conjuring up memories of the day that you or your child made one of those very bad choices.
We must arm our children with some Powerful Questions that can help them to choose right over wrong. So to give you a jump on thinking of this very important character concept, let’s bring the point of lying out into the open. In my opinion, the definition of good character is choosing to do the right thing whether all eyes are on you or all eyes are looking away. If we use those mistakes to help our children make better choices next time, we will be strengthening their integrity.
After all, lying is very much part of growing up and understanding right from wrong, reality from fantasy and truth from untruth. No, not down the street, not around the block, but all the way to the bottom of the hill, aside a highly trafficked road (cars whizzing by at 60 miles per hour) and then back up the opposite side of the hill—only to nonchalantly saunter back towards Randi’s house, feathers sticking out of our mouths having eaten the proverbial canary. While we had never been told NOT to do such a thing, we knew it was wrong and we had gotten away with it.

Helping your children to understand that answering “no” to this question is a sign that they may be on the verge of making a poor choice.
If your child can not answer “yes” to both scenarios, then she should probably not be doing it. After all, if they want an A on their book report and get an A on their book report that should be a good thing, right?
Silverman is a child and adolescent development specialist whose programs and services are used by top educational facilities worldwide. But just as we entered Randi’s house, she walked over to her mother and to my horror, confessed the whole thing. And I am quite positive that I was eager to fully avoid the amount of trouble that currently awaited me.
If our children feel that they could not look at their own selves in the mirror after making this choice and be proud of what they did, they should take it as a warning that the impending choice could bring them a feeling of regret or shame. Think of the child who argues that his friend, who clearly lost the race, crossed the finish line first. When they alter their thoughts, actions, appearance, or choices because others want it that way, they are doing a major disservice to themselves and others.

And I imagine, as Powerful Parents, you would agree, that we want our future leaders to base their decisions on well-instilled values and principles rather than what is fast, popular, and self-serving.
She is also a success coach for parents and business leaders across the United States and Canada who are looking to achieve their goals, improve their lives or improve the lives of others.
Sometimes, children have trouble remembering that parents actually care more about effort and character than about their child being the very best regardless of the cost. In this case, the child succumbs to the rules of friendship over the rules of fairness and integrity. She presents to organizations, schools, and parents groups around the world on topics related to building character, leadership, communication, social networking and confidence. We must be patient and clear up this confusion so that children will choose “right” over “best” when faced with a question of integrity. We also see it when the child chooses to climb the fence because his friends are doing it rather than because he desires to do it himself.

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