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If you'd spend less time posting your drivel and more time staring at said asses you could tell them apart. Up until then, whenever anyone had mentioned the possibility of making a film adaptation, my answer had always been, ‘No, I’m not interested.’ I believe that each reader creates his own film inside his head, gives faces to the characters, constructs every scene, hears the voices, smells the smells. It's like they tried to make one person out of Nick Lachey and Nick Carter and discovered they didn't have as many leftover parts as they'd thought they would.
This dude introduces himself by saying that he plants the seeds of creativity wherever he goes. New York keeps talking to the dudes, and notes that Onix and Whiteboy seem to be forming a friendship. Mama New York, meanwhile, has taken it upon herself to make sure that the dudes aren't getting along too well with other dudes.
Speaking of chances, Romance is chatting with New York's mom when Chance flops his ass down on the sofa next to them, earning him a faceful of (digitally enhanced) smoke. With the pyrotechnics out of the way, New York and her mom go upstairs to mull over the choices before the first elimination.
I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive Vanilla Ice struck that very pose for at least one single.
At the elimination ceremony, Whiteboy is called first, which kinda surprised me, although he did seem attentive to Mama NY and nice to his fellow dudes. So Chamo appears with the champagne (and the dudes start chanting his name, which makes me smile a bit) and everybody toasts, and then we get to see a preview of the rest of the season. And then there's this moment, which looks like a freeze frame from any episode of COPS, thanks to Heat's sketchy self in the background there.


I like the irrelevant, the tangential, the sidebar excursion to nowhere that suddenly becomes revelatory. And that is why, whenever a reader goes to see a film based on a novel that he likes, he leaves feeling disappointed, saying: ‘the book is so much better than the film.
Like there could ever be another.) One of the dudes explains that he figured they had been punked, that this was a prank on VH1's part.
I like to think I'm in touch with my femininity, but the sight of that room caused my left ovary to cough violently and fall out. I'm the biggest sap in the world when it comes to friendships on reality TV, so I hope Onix and Whiteboy fare better than Krazy and Deelishis did.
Boston makes my head hurt as he rattles off some platitudes about how most people are okay with interracial relationships. Films and books and plays show us people talking much more entertainingly than people really talk, make paltry human enterprises seem important. I thought that the antics of a bunch of dudes couldn't possibly compare to the antics of a bunch of skanks competing for the love of a strange, improbable star. I don't know whether or not to hope that the massively wandering eye was digitally enhanced. I'm down with the program, but not when it comes to the man for my daughter," she says.
New York doesn't really appreciate being called a little black girl, and totally shuts down Rico. Boston gets weird with a knife, New York moons some dude, 12-Pack goes butt-sledding across the yard.


I apparently have a higher than average intelligence, but my choice of viewing material wouldn't indicate it! That and the idea that we're in possession of certainty, truth, infallible knowledge, when actually we're just a bunch of apes running around. Singers and musicians show us human beings making sounds far more lovely than human beings really make.
So pushing yourself to the extreme creates a lot of pressure and a lot of excitement, and more importantly, it shows on the plate.
I was wrong, though; I hadn't reckoned on the magnificent entertainment capacity of the male of the species Skankus Americanus. Boston says that he gave Chance a few minutes, enough to get his name out there, and then butts right on in.
My films are about people who think they're connected to something, although they're really not. She goes around the party, asking the dudes if they're maybe a little bit gay, or have been hit on by men.
12-Pack acknowledges that he has been hit on by men, but insists that he's not attracted to them, laughing oddly all the while.



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