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Professor Matt Sanders is founder of the Triple P Positive Parenting Program and says: a€?We all enjoy being praised.
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It wasna€™t that long ago parents were encouraged to a€?break their childrena€™s willa€™ in order to ensure they were well behaved and less than 100 years ago parents were told never to hug or kiss their children. And thata€™s why appropriate praise is one of the simplest ways to encourage good behaviour and help children learn new skills. Strict discipline and minimal physical contact, unless for punishment, were the advice of the time.
We now understand that effective parenting is about warmth, building self-esteem and encouraging them through praise. In this way, parental attention, even if ita€™s negative, becomes a childa€™s reward.a€? Ita€™s easy to find yourself falling into the above habit. So how do you deliver praise that is effective and elicits the behaviour youa€™d like, but doesna€™t overdo it leaving your child with little sense of balance and reality?


But Prof Sanders says: a€?You can create a new reward for your children by making a point of noticing and praising them when they behave in a way you want to encourage. A good rule of thumb is to try to deliver four positive comments to every negative.a€? Top tips for effective parental praise 1. Be specific: Rather than being vague, praise should accurately describe the behaviour you observed and liked. Rather than saying a€?thata€™s gooda€™ if your child has packed away their train set, youa€™d say, a€?thank-you for putting your toys awaya€™.
This kind of praise is clear, specific and enthusiastic, and it tells the child that what theya€™ve accomplished is both positive and appreciated.
When a child receives praise they understand and enjoy, theya€™re more likely to repeat the behaviour in the future. Be discerning: Dona€™t make your child so reliant on your praise that their willingness to do anything depends on it. Phase out the praise as your child becomes more skilled at the task youa€™re trying to encourage.


Gradually, the praise becomes less predictable, the child becomes more accomplished, and the behaviour more routine. Children will know when youa€™re not being genuine and giving kids inflated praise, such as telling them their pre-school painting is a€?incredibly amazinga€™ can make some children afraid to try difficult or challenging tasks, because they might not always succeed. Praising your child for trying something new, or for making an improvement, will motivate them to continue even when something is difficult to master.
If you only notice what they failed to achieve (or achieved very easily), youa€™re not really teaching them the importance of effort and persistence. Dona€™t say bad things about yourself and if someone praises you, dona€™t brush it off or disagree.
Professor Sanders adds: a€?By following this advice youa€™ll help your children build their self-esteem, encourage the good behaviour you want and find it easier to deal with, and discourage, the bad behaviours.



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Comments

  1. RAZINLI_QAQAS_KAYFDA, 11.01.2015
    And advice have appeared in dozens of magazines, like take them to the toilet with potty training.
  2. Yalgiz_Oglan, 11.01.2015
    Level of maturity, both physically and mentally, that young children appear to find out at an early age.