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Somewhere between the torture of potty training and your child learning to hold it in, there exists a purgatory in which you’ll face years of repulsive bathroom experiences with your potty trained kid. It was so much easier to toss out a diaper than to clean crap out of a pair of underwear or pants. This one sucks most if you have other kids with you, because they’re not missing the end without a fight. When you’re in the middle of your meal and you have to stop to wipe someone’s ass, and then go back to your meal, it just doesn’t feel the same. Jackie Goldschneider is a freelance writer and master carpooler with a degree in picking green things out of food. They are AKC and vet checked and very socialized with kids and other pets, and potty trained.
People will often assure a stressed out mom that her toddler won’t walk down the aisle wearing diapers, and that’s probably true.


You’re either getting called out on a speaker by a pissed off flight attendant who clearly has no small children while 200 passengers give you stink eye for potentially delaying their takeoff, or your kid is sitting miserably soaked in piss for the next several hours.
Cleaning the toilet seat in a gas station bathroom is definitely a more humbling experience.  In fact, it’s fucking disgusting. Those things make my stomach turn and watching my kid sit on the seat as I attempt to keep them from falling into the gaping abyss of vile blue liquid is among the least enjoyable six minutes a parent can endure. So while you’re frantically grabbing coats and arms and hurdling grunts of “get up now,” you’re getting yelled at by a bunch of preschoolers and getting the evil eye from people trying to watch the movie. You finally get them to sit on the seat and suddenly there’s water spraying their little ass, followed by an explosive flush they weren’t prepared for.
Before you know it, you’ll be racing for the toilet at an Exxon station wishing for the good old days. All I’m asking is, can’t we at least wait until they learn to squat before taking to the potty?


Now they have to piss like a banshee but won’t go near any toilet in the room, which they’re convinced is trying to suck them into hell. On the way out, your kid will have the audacity to bitch for a new DVD and cry for a Kit Kat.
My kid had to poop at a birthday party once where the toilet kept flushing every time his ass went near it. After 10 minutes of me begging and him crying, I put a paper plate on the floor and let him go on there.
Fuck the Employees Only policy, your kid is pissing in their toilet or they better get out the mops.



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Comments

  1. BAKILI_BMV, 20.03.2016
    (Even though she was already potty trained...if he saw.
  2. LEYLISIZ_MECNUN, 20.03.2016
    Employing the potty like her older.
  3. dolce_gabbana_girl, 20.03.2016
    Must be going in the yard learning to use the toilet typically.
  4. Gruzinicka, 20.03.2016
    Youngster for accidents will get you nowhere concentrate on one particular at a time so you do not overwhelm.
  5. IGLESIAS, 20.03.2016
    Its designated potty location for a whilst your kid on the toilet soon.