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Sleep training is on hold as teething went into overdrive during the last week, and yesterday his first tooth made an appearance! My DD is -15 weeks now and I don’t know what happened in the last 2-3 weeks- she is a completely different baby.
I’m going back to work next week and on Monday when I discovered your site I started an attempt to sleep train her. With The 3-Day Potty Training Method (the method we used with both of our boys), you essentially go to underwear, day and night, and never look back.
Most people expect accidents during potty training, so it surprises me when they don’t always expect setbacks with sleep. When your baby or toddler is learning something new, it’s a great idea to give them positive reinforcement and cheer through their successes and be understanding during their failures. Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information.
Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more.
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep.
For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep.
Join over 300,000 parents around the world & sign up today to receive the guide and our Baby Sleep Newsletter absolutely FREE! Hoping this comes easier then sleep training as it wasn’t til 13 months that my son was consistently sleeping through the night. There are definitely similarities – I have found that most of the time when I am procrastinating about something to do with her, it turns out that she takes to things pretty quickly and the change actually helps her instead of causing her trouble. For many of the exhausted families with whom we work, night weaning and sleep training are both high on the list of priorities. See, when a baby knows how to fall asleep without help at bedtime, or at the start of a nap, then he can go BACK to sleep when he wakes at night between sleep cycles (and doesn’t need a feeding), or in the middle of a nap. Sleep coaching can be tough enough on its own – but if you are also working on night weaning, then you may have more than you can cope with on your own!
Readers, you probably know by now that we’re a little (or maybe a lot) passionate about sleep training at the Baby Sleep Site™. Today, Miriam will be answering a few common questions that many breastfeeding moms have about sleep training. Miriam: Newborns (1-4 months) are sleeping through the night when they sleep five hours at a time. Babies (5-9 months) sleep through the night when they achieve 6-8 hours of continuous nighttime sleep. If pumping isn’t the best solution for you, you can have your baby weighed before and after a feeding by a nurse or lactation consultant. If you are able to store 6 or more ounces in your “measuring cups,” then you can probably go 6-8 hours without affecting your milk supply. Remember too that some babies have reflux or small stomach capacities and cannot tolerate large amounts of milk. Remember, if you have concerns about your baby’s growth or the number of feedings he needs, contact his doctor or a lactation consultant who can evaluate your baby in person. We know that, as a breastfeeding mom, your breastfeeding relationship with your little one matters to you.
Once you have chosen your sleep and lactation package, you will immediately receive an email with your Helpdesk login credentials. Polling all nursing moms: have you found a way to make sleep training and breastfeeding work together? Disclosure: The Baby Sleep Site™ is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other product affiliate programs. Related PostsHow Your Menstrual Cycle Can Affect Your Baby’s SleepNewborns Sleeping Through The Night? I then only nurse once in the middle of the night (11pm to 1pm I consider middle of the night) and once early AM (5,6am). I can do good at the beg of the night if needed, but im so exhausted by the middle of the night. When she is going through a growth spurt she does wake for a feed, but so far she has returned to sleeping through a night or so later. I’m not being smug as I am prepared that things could change, but I do want to encourage mums who breastfeed that exclusively breastfed babies can sleep through the night! It never occurred to me that I should worry about how much I can store when trying to get baby to sleep. I followed what I read in the Baby Whisperer book and increased my day feedings by 5 min to increase calories during the day. As for how to pump — I think a good way to handle this would be to try and wake about 30 minutes before your baby (not always an easy thing to do, I know!) Then, pump yourself dry, and offer the milk to your baby in a bottle. It does sound, though, like your daughter has some pretty strong nursing associations, and those, like any sleep association, aren’t exactly easy to break right away. Oh my gosh, four babies and a stack of books read and I’m just now realizing I have small measuring cups! As for how to fix it — why don’t you check out our free guides for tips on getting started? The need for assistance can arise at any time after you go home from the hospital with your new baby. Sleep training a baby is something that has been written about extensively, talked about by experts and caused many parents frustration and heartache. Parents can get impatient with each other and even with their baby when sleep is challenged. Vikki and her husband know a thing or two about nap frustrations – their daughter Lyla started out as a champion napper, but by the time Lyla was 10 months old, nap time had become a nightmare for the whole family.
Fortunately, Vikki was able to change all that, thanks to a consultation with The Baby Sleep Site® Read on, and hear from Vikki herself about how her consultation completely changed her daughter’s naps!
As Lyla got older and her objections to bedtime got worse and worse, her naps went to the dark side. My consultant Jen suggested we work on bedtime and overnights first, and then work on naps, as overnight sleep and nap sleep are controlled by different parts of the brain.
Even though we were only about halfway through the nighttime part of the Personalized Sleep Plan™, I started working on naps. We still have sleep struggles, and I think we always will, as sleep is not high on Lyla’s list of priorities. Every time I bring up a conversation about sleep with new parents, I feel like I’m swapping war stories.
I think the main point the article was making was that the result is the most important part. We instilled a sleep routine as soon as our hectic family visits were out of the way right around the 5-6 week mark. Great information in this article…it is very nice to hear from the other side of the camp on such a controversial issue.
Allowing your child to cry alone in their room for short intervals of time at the appropriate age is not inhumane.
Loved this article, especially the focus on how much the decision you made has helped you as an individual, and you & your husband as the leaders of your family. But a few months in, after a loooooong talk with my spouse about it, it clicked for me that, yes, you listen to your kid when you can, but in the absence of that, the parents are the ones who make the best decisions they can for the kid (which is what makes them the parents!), and that those decisions were, at that point, totally up to us. At this age he was mostly still falling asleep on the boob (substitute for bottle-in-arms if formula-feeding or father) and being transferred to the crib either asleep or at least drowsy.
I would never tell another mom that they should or shouldn’t schedule or sleep train or whatever. What’s neglected here is the scientifically proven increased cortisol levels in f the child. That’s when I throw out the shoulda woulda couldas and wrap myself in a 35-foot roll of cheats like this guy.
This article offers a suggested schedule (read SUGGESTED twice, since babies have a mind of their own sometimes and some just don’t like being suggested to) for a 6-9 month old baby. One that lets you be the parent and teach a skill (sleeping), but also acknowledges that some babies need emotional support and encouragement that you are there, and won’t leave them.
For me with my four kids it’s always good to keep average (in terms of sleep and really most anything parenting related) in perspective. My husband and I even tried the cry it out method for a few nights which was stressful for all of us, during this time my son got the cold and so we quit.
I’ve taken to reading the newborn and 2-3 month sleeping schedule recently and I have a question.
Do you think we should wait to use the shuffle with him until his 4-month sleep regression and 4th wonder week is over? This is the first article I’ve seen with gradually moving out of the babies room once they have fallen asleep. She slept from 9 to 4 since she was a couple of weeks old, and she changed into this baby waking up every 1-2 hours after 12:30. The room is dark at night, got an app for white noise, made some adjustments to the crib, since I noticed she likes sleeping in our bed, I feed her and try to put her down sleepy. Now, my boys are well past the age of potty training (my youngest is almost 7 already!), but I do hear about potty training quite often from my clients in the Helpdesk. The fear of the unknown and how your baby will respond to sleep training or your toddler to potty training is scary and paralyzes us from moving forward. But, it’s a step you know you have to take one day and I knew waiting too long only gets them more set in their ways. Whenever you learn a new skill, there will be days you do it well and days you seem to be re-learning for the first time. When sleep training, we had to make sure we put our son down before he was asleep or we’d end up back to where we started. It’s very often that a baby will have an off-night or struggle with learning a new skill.


You’ll be able to login and start your Family Sleep History form right away – it’s that simple!
You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!
Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule. Visit our Help Me Choose page for helping choosing the Baby Sleep Site® resources that are right for you. After all, constant night feeds can exhaust even the strongest parents, and a baby who can’t fall asleep independently is one who will wake too early from a nap, or wake during the night due to sleep associations, and not out of true hunger. When our team of consultants create Personalized Sleep Plans™ for the families with whom they work, they typically put night weaning after sleep training in the day-by-day section of the plan.
So if your baby is in the habit of waking frequently at night, odds are many of those night wakings will disappear via the process of sleep training. In some rare situations, parents are faced with a medical scenario in which they have to wean from breastfeeding immediately.
While some toddlers have serious sleep problems, we’ve worked with many toddler families whose only real problem was one or two night feedings that they wished to get rid of. Now, this one is less sure-fire than the other 3, as it can be hard to distinguish exactly when night feeding has become a deeply-ingrained habits. Most breastfeeding mothers can go one five hour stretch per 24 hours without breastfeeding and experience no ill effect on milk supply.
Many breastfeeding mothers can go one 6-8 hour stretch per 24 hours (at 5-9 months) between breastfeedings without causing a drop in milk supply. These babies will need to eat more often even if the moms can store a great deal of milk at one time. Moms with smaller cups need to feed their babies more frequently to keep room in the storage space for more milk. This means that while I am breastfeeding my son, I need to continue offering night feedings. You don’t have to forsake sleep in order to breastfeed well, but you also don’t have to forsake breastfeeding in order to get some sleep! But remember, the fact that you are breastfeeding does not mean you have to suffer through sleep deprivation for months on end! From there, you will be able to complete your family profile and connect with your sleep and lactation consultant, who will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ with lactation support just for you and your family.
If you click on a product link above and make a purchase, The Baby Sleep Site™ may (but not always) receive a small commission from the company selling the product. Prior, our almost 7-month baby boy was waking hourly and I fed him each time simply because I knew it would put him back to sleep and he was used to nursing often.
I nurse him around 7pm, let him go for a long time and then I break the latch when I see he is sleepy, the sucking has slowed down, and he is no longer actively swallowing. If crying continues, pick up and sooth until calm, them crib transfer and do it all over again as needed! Bedtime 7pm, wakes 3-4 times if you include his 5 or 6 am nursing then back to sleep, awake for the day around 8:00am. She has done 5-6 hours at night since around 5 weeks old and has gradually lengthened this time (she always cluster fed in the evening, sometimes for almost 5 hours when she was very tiny! By 3 mos our LO was sleeping 11-12 hrs with one night feeding and at 4 mos we dropped the dream feed because it was making him poop too much.
I tried to do everything the lactation consultants told me to do, but I wonder if something was missing and I might breast feed my next baby? I incorporated what my consultant outlined for an approach and actually utilized some of the overnight tactics for naps. Your sleep training solution needs to be fluid enough that you can augment it when necessary, and supported enough that when you do, you have help and feedback. But when I think of how we went from a baby who couldn’t calm down enough to sleep day or night to a little lady who lies down and goes right to sleep most of the time, I get teary (read: I sob with joy). You’ll have the expert help and caring support you need to finally get your baby or toddler napping peacefully and consistently. We ordered The Contented Little Baby Book by some fancy British nanny off Amazon posthaste, and it became our Bible.
Otherwise we follow her schedule and simply make sure we repeat the same routine (nursing, kiss, have a good nap) for her naps. We are on baby three now and I am counting the days till baby is old enough to sleep straight through without waking up (he is 5 wks) but we are getting there. My son started walking early, so when we lay him down in his crib he would just stand there crying. If you’d like to attend the Napping Know-How Webinar, let me know what time you think would be most convenient for Aussie parents! I manage to put her to sleep in the crib in about 20 -30 minutes, but she wakes up and she screams at every attempt to calm her down.
And I’ve been reflecting recently that, while potty training is certainly no picnic for most of us, there really are many ways in which potty training is like sleep training! Truth be told, I loved the idea of being diaper-free, but was not looking forward to potty training. This is one reason I recommend sleep training sooner rather than later, when you feel your baby is ready, and before they are pulling up, crawling, etc.
Practice makes perfect and you need to be realistic that your baby might not sleep well every night, no matter what those books say! When we were potty training him, he pooped in his underwear ONE time and that turned into a habit that lasted a month. With potty training, it’s very common for a toddler to have accident after accident while he learns the sensation to look for before he actually goes.
Even though you might not believe your baby can understand everything you say, she can very much understand tone of voice and their level of understanding happens sooner than you think. And today, I have a whole team of expert consultants working with me, all of whom are eager to offer you personalized sleep training help!
Our team of consultants discussed this question recently, and we thought you’d really enjoy getting a peek into their answers!
For instance, we’ve worked with moms who, after a cancer diagnosis, have to wean before undergoing chemotherapy.
In these cases, the toddlers usually fall asleep fine at bedtime, wake up to feed once or twice, go right back to sleep on their own, and then sleep until morning. In these cases, what the parents want is a period of sustained sleep without feedings, so it makes sense to start with night weaning, and to teach baby to fall back to sleep without going to the breast.
But simply put, if you ALWAYS feed your baby EVERY time she wakes, then you may want to start offering other forms of comfort during night wakings, before you start actually sleep training. Our consultants at The Baby Sleep Site® specialize in creating Personalized Sleep Plans™ that are customized to your own parenting philosophy, and that will NEVER make you feel guilty or pressured. Newborns should NOT be left to cry it out in order to achieve this five hour stretch, however. Others look small but can store a lot of milk, so it’s all about the amount of storage capacity inside the breast. Nicole used this one for a year with both boys (so two years total) and it was still going strong.
So a mom who has a storage space of 3 ounces can still exclusively breastfeed; however, she will need to feed her baby 9-12 times per day for the entire time of exclusive breastfeeding.
After 7-9 months, the amount of feedings may drop to 7-8 if baby does well on solid food, and it is cleared with the baby’s doctor, because the baby will be replacing some breast milk calories with calories from solid foods.
You really can help your little one build healthy sleep habits in a gentle, breastfeeding-friendly way, with one of our sleep coaching packages that includes special lactation support.
She co sleeps right now and I want to get her in her crib now that her heart is stable but she has been in my bed since birth and screams the minute I leave her in her room. By the end of the week, he’d cut back to 2-3 feedings per night, without any intervention from us, which I was fine with. Its good not to have hassle of bottles or feeders, but my problem is that she need comfort nursing throughout the night for 5-6 times..
I knew I needed to make a change, and my consultant Jen worked with me to figure out how to implement it. Today, Lyla is fifteen months old, and I have a (still) chubby baby girl who has retuned to her previous title as the best napper in town. It wasn’t until she received her Personalized Sleep Plan™, and worked closely with Jen, her consultant, that Vikki finally saw meaningful results.
For new parents that were totally freaked out about what exactly to do with a baby every hour of the day, a very, very, VERY detailed schedule was the life raft we were looking for.
After moving her into the crib at 3 months she’s pretty much just passed out right away and sleeps until morning.
HOWEVER, for the first 7 months of his life he slept in our room or we slept with him in his, because he was waking up 4, 5 times a night. I have been trying lots of stuff, but nothing seems to work… I am not a huge fan of letting her cry it out all night, so any other suggestions? Instead of leaving him in the room by himself, I sat on my bed which was right next to his crib. Tried cry it out for a week and he had bloody noses from screaming so hard and vomited several times a night. Put him in his crib and turn on a lullaby and sit there and ignore him for as long as it takes.
She is around a lot of moms who believe that sleep training and scheduling are bad or wrong, but with twins (who at first were on OPPOSITE sleeping and eating schedules) she literally had to schedule them or she was not going to survive.
There are things about her life as a mom that I hope will be the case for my life (calm, happy, relatively rested) and she attributes a lot of it to scheduling. After 4 years of fertility treatments, I finally had a baby 4 months ago, so I have been happily rocking him to sleep in my arms every night (and truly enjoying it).
Specifically, I think I’ve found 6 ways that potty training is very much like sleep training.


With our first we were lucky and never had a bed-wetting accident, even at night, but we knew this would probably not be the case this time.
We didn’t even know until we went upstairs awhile later and we put underwear on him (my plan was only to use one pull-up a night) and he woke up dry that morning. It’s a lot messier, but going straight to underwear helps them learn this sensation faster just like actually falling asleep without a pacifier, breastfeeding, bottle, etc.
Learning to use the potty is a new (and important) skill that every child has to learn; for many of our babies, falling asleep independently without sleep associations is a skill, too. In cases like these, since there are no real sleep problems aside from the night feedings, it makes sense to work on gradually night weaning.
To do this, we usually create a special bed-sharing day-by-day plan that teaches mom and dad how to gradually help baby fall back to sleep after a night waking without needing to nurse. Your plan will include everything you need to know about how to help you baby sleep through the night, and how to wean your baby from night feeding.
Miriam is highly qualified to speak on this subject, since she’s a certified lactation consultant with experience as a labor and delivery nurse. We take into account you and your baby’s unique needs and develop a plan that will help you protect your breastfeeding relationship while achieving better sleep for you and your baby. There are other techniques that can promote this five hour stretch in the middle of the night. Of course, your breasts are more like a river than a lake, in that the milk is constantly being made, but some breasts do store more at one time than others, and this will affect how often your baby needs to nurse. This is much different than a mom who can store 8 ounces and may need to feed her baby just 5 times per day. It seems a little silly to expect all mother-baby pairs to need the same schedules and routines! These lactation packages are serviced by one of our combination sleep and lactation consultants, and will include specialized breastfeeding recommendations that align with the sleep coaching recommendations in your Personalized Sleep Plan™. We only recommend products that we believe are quality products and are good for our readers. I do let her sleep in our bed at the moment but hope that once she is fully night weaned and can fall asleep without The breast for comfort every time, she can go back to her bed. At 9 months we decided to try and get him down to 1 night feeding, but wen we cut the first, he dropped the second (and occasional third) on his own. As I mentioned last time, it took about a week to see progress at bedtime, and a little longer on overnights, but things did start to get better.
But believe, my fellow sleepy mommies, that there is a solution to helping your baby sleep during naps. When I was still pregnant with my first son, I sent him an article about infant sleep, asking him which camp we were going to be in. I’m happy sleep training worked for you, but do you know that it was the sleep training that did it and not just that your babies are good sleepers like mine is? I can’t even keep myself on a schedule so I know for us it would be difficult to implement a strict schedule unless it was absolutely necessary.
But once I learned her cues, we were able to get a routine going for both daytime naps and bedtime – and holy hell did it change everything in such a quick amount of time (I mean basically overnight).
She goes to a Moms of Multiples group and she later told me that almost every single woman in that group went into motherhood believing that scheduling was unnatural but turning to it out of desperation…and then loving it.
So I guess, in this case, my anti-zombie policy is a little stronger than my anti-cheating policy. However, my pediatrician decided to spoil my fun and said he had to learn to fall asleep on his own. I’m thinking that what I have to do is go into his room and sooth him back to sleep -is this correct? Last night he cried for 40 mins before I couldn’t handle it and picked him up and rocked him then eventually nursed him. Also my hubby and I have to get really good at detecting his sleepy cues I think we keep missing them so by the time we try to put him to bed, cortisol is already doing its number on him poor guy.
This is similar to how it feels never-ending if your baby doesn’t sleep 11-12 hours at night, consistently, right after you sleep train. And, just like sleep training, how long it takes to potty train varies by child, where some will get it in a day and others might take months. Even better, once you have your Personalized Sleep Plan™, your consultant will walk you through each step of implementing it at home. Of course, if your baby still needs 1 or more age-based night feedings, keep those – but this is a great time to work on reducing any unnecessary night feedings.
Our e-book, Essential Keys To Your Newborn’s Sleep outlines newborn-friendly sleep coaching strategies for your newborn, including sample sleep-inducing routines.
The amount you’re able to pump out with a high-quality pump will be at least slightly less than your baby can draw out of your breasts. I do feed her to sleep but on the few occasions she has woken crying shortly after placing her in her cot I have not taken her out of her cot and I have soothed her by sitting next to her cot. I don’t want him to feel like he’s not able to breastfeed whenever he wants during the day (or even at night if he has a nightmare or something) but I do want him to sleep through the night most nights now! I think if anything, sleep training always seemed to help hum get into a healthier rhythm for feedings.
I have just recently added a formula bottle of 5oz milk at 6pm before I change him and breastfeed him to sleep hoping it will make a difference. Because we were getting into a rhythm at night, Lyla understood better what we were asking her to do during the day. Were we going to go all Attachment Parenting on this unsuspecting baby and cater to his every whim?
Nor would I argue with someone who is stressed out by the idea of a schedule and decides not to. My goal here is to help you train your baby to sleep well for you, consistently, and as soon as possible.
He sleeps great through the night, about 10 hours (I know, we hit the jackpot on that one) – trouble is, he falls asleep at 6pm and wakes up around 4am. I think that one of the biggest mistake was that I breastfed her every time she went to sleep at night (sometimes during the day too ), until she was sound asleep the moved her in the crib. We also offer special newborn-focused Personalized Sleep Plans™ that are crafted to guide your baby to better sleep in a gentle, safe way. You can pump* your breasts when they feel full to find out how much milk your breasts can store at one time. I’m so glad I’m the older sister and had my baby first, because my expectations would have been way off, if I had expected to only need to nurse 5-6 times per day.
Something went wrong, but not sure if it was due to improper latching, my nipple shape, the shape of my baby’s bottom lip, or that I did not have enough milk supply.
Lyla’s objection to naptime was so severe that we’d skip naps because she fought so hard for so long at each one.
I did this with my son and it only took 3 nights for him to start laying down and going to sleep, with or without me in the room. It’s a worthy cause.  Does the ends (sleeping peacefully) justify the means (using sample schedules)? They will sleep everywhere else, but lay that back down on a flat surface surrounded by wooden slats and their spidee-sense kicks into overdrive, setting of the scream siren. We would love to move his bedtime just 1 hour later, but all attempts to do so have failed miserably. Since the crib is in our bedroom and my husband needs to sleep to go to work, I never let her cry at night.
We didn’t have the utmost confidence that he COULD hold it all night, but he really could do it!
Our different storage capacities mean that we have different daytime and nighttime feeding and sleep routines. As you’ve probably experienced, skipping naps can lead to an overtired baby and really tough bedtimes. My God, what damage I did to him by letting him whine for maybe a total of 25 minutes over 3 nights!!! Btw I would love to attend your webinar but I’m in Australia so the times are not good.
Since she woke up so frecquently I would nurse her in bed next to me, and I would fall asleep too. If you can do without the swing, awesome, but if she needs it at this point, that’s okay because sleep is most important. Even out doctor told us to stop the cry it out since we saw no improvement and he was hurting himself. I think my brain is a bit addled at the moment from lack of sleep but I’m a bit confused cos the sleep lady advises against sleep training too early but then how do I go about gently guiding him? I was able to put her back in the crib at the beginning, but lately she would cry at the mere attempt to put her in th crib, and I ended up with her in our bed for almost the entire night. So I purchased his potty to first teach him how to sit on it and make him comfortable with it before he learns what it’s really for. We were getting to a really good place at bedtime and Lyla even started sleeping through the night a few nights a week.
The easiest way to set up a baby sleep schedule is to harness that rhythm and tweak it softly for a predictable routine. I can’t tell you how many parents are afraid to take the first step, but then see that just a few days later they have a baby who can sleep! Especially because, as you may remember from my last post about sticking with sleep training, Lyla brawled with sleep like a prizefighter, so we were getting no sleep overnight. I didn’t want to risk losing the progress we made at night so I knew I had to make a change at naptime.



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Comments

  1. AXMEDIK_666, 06.08.2014
    The natural consequences of not employing are?easy to take off.
  2. Adrenalin, 06.08.2014
    Not potty educated at 4.five gr8 xperience..juz make ur child feel.
  3. BaKINeC, 06.08.2014
    Educated sitting down, parents can now.
  4. Samira, 06.08.2014
    Some parents find it simpler to commence the potty instruction.