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My seven-month-old baby had colic and food sensitivities that upset her digestion (until we figured them all out–they were extensive). My 16 month old boy has struggled with tummy issues and food sensitivities since he was born. I’m no expert on sleep training but I do have three boys who have all had their own issues with sleeping. I have done the CIO method with both my children, my sister had done it with all three of hers, and I can tell you that none of our children feel neglected, abused, or insecure.
Please don’t make other mothers feel guilty for doing what they feel is best for their kids. Although Jeanette’s tone is harsh and judgmental, as a licensed lactation professional I have to say she is making a good point. Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. Join our Members Area and get exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep.
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My little guy, who’s now over 19mo, has always been a bad napper, and still naps in my arms, continuously nursing! Does the term “sleep training” conjure up images of wailing babies and agonized parents?
That means that if you want to use extremely gentle, low-cry or no-cry sleep training methods, you absolutely can sleep train your baby with minimal tears. Now, I should include a caveat here: no-cry sleep training may not be possible for every family. With no-cry sleep training, parents often stay in the room at the start of a sleep time (like bedtime or nap time), and for awhile after any night wakings. No-cry sleep training depends heavily on simple, gentle interventions like the ones listed above.
With substitution, you substitute in a different sleep association for your child’s preferred sleep association. No matter how you choose to approach your no-cry sleep training, rest assured that you CAN do it – you CAN teach your child a healthier way to sleep with minimal tears and fussing. Or, join our Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. Well, we’ve learned from experience that sometimes, parents who are stalling on sleep training (even though they are incredibly tired and sleep-deprived!) simply need a pep talk to get them going. Our consultants have talked with sooooo many parents who are putting off sleep training because they are waiting for the right time.
The first step is always the hardest to take – but once it’s done, it tends to get easier!
We hear from many, many parents that they are itching to sleep train, but that they don’t know where to start.
Being “too tired” to sleep train is precisely the reason you SHOULD sleep train!
This really becomes a circular, chicken-and-egg sort of issue: being exhausted and sleep-deprived makes you realize you should really work on sleep training, but that all that stored-up tiredness makes you feel too worn out to sleep train! There are many ways to help your child learn to sleep – which means there is a sleep training method that will work for you.
So many parents we hear from tell us that the #1 reason they put off sleep training is because they assume that sleep training = crying. The good news about sleep training is that HOW you help your child learn to fall asleep independently is up to you.
One of the easiest and gentlest ways to help your child sleep is to create a strong pre-sleep routine. Once you are actually ready to have your child work on falling asleep independently in his sleep space, you can use the PUPD method.
Gentle sleep training can be tough and exhausting….but our team of consultants can help! As a parent, it’s sometimes hard to have that confidence to know that there is nothing wrong with your baby AND there is nothing wrong with your parenting. A slow-to-adapt baby is generally going to take longer to learn to self-soothe and sleep well.
A highly adaptable baby who can self-soothe, but just hasn’t had the opportunity will generally learn very quickly, regardless of method, too.
A parent who is a hare is usually one who doesn’t have hours upon hours to spend with a baby to help him learn to self-soothe. A parent who is a tortoise is usually one who feels a slower approach is better for everyone’s sakes.
I have been told I have the patience of Job, but one of my current clients has really shown me what patience is. When you are a tortoise and your baby is a hare, you might spend weeks and months, unnecessarily, working on his sleep because you’re taking the slow approach when your baby might just need the nudge and be left alone.
When you are a tortoise and your baby is a tortoise, you, my friend, are going to work extremely hard, I’m afraid. I say it all over the site, but make sure you make a sleep training plan that meshes with both your personality and your baby’s temperament.
Sleep training works best when it is customized to suit both you (your parenting philosophy and goals) and your baby (his temperament and personality).
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. My DD just turned one and I was thinking that I was the only one with a baby her age that didn’t consistatly sleep through the night. My baby is definitely a tortoise and so am I, he’s 9 months old and has never slept through the night, i have now stopped counting how often he wakes up throughout the night. My son will be 8 months old, and right from the beginning he has not been a full night sleeper, infact lately for the past 3 months he has been getting up every 2hrs at night, i feed him, as soon as he gets up and then he falls asleep, but the 2hrs gap never fails.
Another key point (I don’t know if it could affect her sleep) is that 3 weeks ago, I found out the daycare she was going to put her in her crib and left her there for ridiculous amounts of time.
Sometimes it seems like a hormonal teenager (not to be confused with three-nager) possesses your little angel. If nap times are a battle, or you are experiencing a nap strike, take the pressure of the act of sleeping… forcing a toddler to stay in bed or a crib is one thing, forcing them to lie still or close there eyes is another.
This is a topic I hold near and dear to my heart since my oldest daughter was converted from a crib at age 2 and that was the WRONG THING TO DO! Many parents struggle after they convert their child from the crib since their child realizes that they can leave the bed.
What’s important now to get sleep back on track is to explain the rules of sleep and set a clear and actionable plan when your child leaves the room. While closing the door causes a lot of anxiety for a young child, a tall gate (like these) can keep your child safe inside their room and treat their room like a big crib (once all furniture is secure).
I am as guilty as anyone by over-scheduling my kids with daily activities but there are so many interests that I want to provide my children to get a taste of.
If sleep starts to suffer, make sure to end activities early to continue an age appropriate bedtime. If you are certain your child is teething, you can proactively provide pain reliever (safely according to doctor’s dosing instructions). Once sickness and teething are not an issue, you may need to go back to setting limits at night to get sleep back on track.
He doesn’t like the shadows on his wall or the monster he thinks he heard outside the window. A 2 year old requires about 12-13 hours of sleep each day (and some even require more) and the majority of 2 year olds still nap around 1pm. I typically recommend that a baby’s bedtime be flexible based on the quality of naps throughout the day. When it seems too overwhelming, know that the 2 year old sleep regression is just a fun special period that you get to go through.. Download your Toddler Sleep Success Checklist to make bedtime the best time and keep tour toddler sleeping all night long. Susie Parker is founder of Sleep Baby Love and a Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant through the Family Sleep Institute.
We are in your Neighborhood!Happily serving families in the North Shore of Chicago and all throughout the world. If anything, they are better adjusted children because they have learned how to sleep well.
I am confident that I, like many other mothers, have done a great job in teaching my kids the art of falling asleep. I encourage all my breastfeeding sleep coaching clients to keep a feeding or two during the night to help with their milk supply – or sometimes just because they want to keep those feedings. And today, we share 7 key toddler sleep training tips and tricks – keep reading for details! With toddlers, sleep training is as much about enforcing boundaries with discipline as it is about teaching new and healthy sleep habits.
Sometimes, toddler sleep problems are due as much to schedule issues as they are to sleep associations and unhealthy sleep habits.


Toddler temper tantrums may very well be a part of your toddler sleep training…most toddlers don’t respond well when their usual routines and ways of sleeping are altered!
We have worked with thousands of families to overcome toddler sleep problems, and we can help you overcome yours, too, with one of our Personalized Sleep Plans™!
Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule. Sleep training is merely the practice of helping your baby or toddler learn healthier sleep habits.
And that’s good news for those of you who cannot stand the thought of extended crying! While some babies and toddler with easygoing temperament may truly be able to get through the sleep training process without shedding a single tear, children who are intense and resistant to change will likely put up at least a little fuss when you try to change bedtime and nap time.
This allows mom or dad to provide plenty of comfort and support as baby works to fall back to sleep; it also helps to minimize or eliminate crying. When our consultants work with families, via our personalized sleep consulting program, they almost always recommend a few pre-sleep training steps. If you’re going to try a no-cry sleep training approach, then you will definitely want to put in plenty of prep-work before you jump in to sleep training. You could spend several weeks just following the steps above, and you may very well see noticeable progress in your child’s sleep!
There are two that are pretty popular and tend to work well for families who want to minimize crying as much as possible. Then, when your baby is calm (and this is key), you put your baby back in bed drowsy but awake, so that she can practice falling asleep without your help.
For example, if you typically rock your child to sleep, you would fade out the rocking gradually, rocking a bit less each night until you are simply holding your child in your arms, with no movement. Waiting for the 4 month sleep regression to pass, waiting for their baby to start solids, waiting until a bout of teething is over, etc.
Once your child can dress himself, brush his own teeth, feed himself breakfast, and buckle himself into the car, your morning looks a whole lot calmer and more relaxed! Here it is: many, many parents are stunned at just how capable their children are of sleeping soundly and napping well…and we bet you will be one of them! And over the years, we’ve come to learn that while many of our readers are generally interested in sleep training, they are specifically interested in gentle sleep training. Additionally, some co-sleeping families want gentle methods that allow for continued bed sharing. There are so many ways to approach this process, and many of them can be customized and tailored to be incredibly gentle.
That said, there are some sleep training methods and approaches that produce results without much (if any) fussing. Both your bedtime routine and your nap time routines should help to relax and calm your child, and to signal that it’s time to fall asleep. Simply put, PUPD means you lay your child down awake in his sleeping area, but then pick him up and offer comfort when he fusses.
Be advised, however, that gentle methods require lots of patience, as they can take awhile to actually produce meaningful results. Our experts have tons of experience in helping families sleep train gently and effectively. They go to sleep one time without a bottle or breastfeeding or a pacifier and voila, they figure out how to do it between sleep cycles (that we ALL have) and start sleeping in longer stretches. They might be working parents trying to fit in the various chores that need to be done, get dinner on the table, etc. She has a two year old who was nursing all night and we have come a loooong way, using a very slow approach. You and your baby will be getting more sleep than ever, but it might be frustrating to have those off nights where you feel like you’re starting all over. You might mention something that seems irrelevant, but it gives me a clue about your baby’s personality.
Just like the picture above, you might be able to speed your tortoise to the finish line, but if not, as long as you have appropriate expectations, we will all get there, eventually, just like my son will eventually learn to write his name.
Our consultants at The Baby Sleep Site® specialize in creating Personalized Sleep Plans™ that are carefully personalized to fit both you and your baby, and that will NEVER make you feel guilty or pressured. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
My personality is a hare but emotionally it’s very difficult to stick to the hardcore crying plans. I need to find a plan to wean him off the breast and teach him to sooth himself but the thought of him crying scares me to get started.
Since then I stopped looking for a job and decided to stay home with her until she can tell me whats going on. You think you cracked it by thinking your baby’s sleep is under control, but once you get too confident, bam, your child goes through many ages and stages of life. He realizes that a lot goes on when he is asleep and being left out may not be an option for him. When your child is afraid, it’s always best to provide him security and feel like all is OK in the world.
Don’t be tempted to let him come back to your bed or jump into bed into the middle of the night. When Susie's not ridding the world of sleepless families, she loves spending time with her two girls that have given her a ton of real world sleep experience head on. We never let him cry it out til he was 8 months old, but had to sometimes in order to get our family some sleep and sanity.
Teaching your child how to fall asleep on their own is one of the best gifts a parent can give to their child. My kids don’t cry when I put them to bed, they lay down and do their thing and fall asleep.
We usually recommend that parents who are planning to sleep train their toddlers start by outlining sleep-time boundaries they want their child (and themselves) to follow.
Take a hard look at your toddler’s daytime nap schedule – are naps ending too late in the day? For instance, you may want to offer a small reward, like a sticker to put on the chart, each night that your toddler stays in bed at bedtime and falls asleep without getting up. Most toddlers are incredibly smart about this; if they sense that they can breach any of your sleep boundaries, and that you will give in, they will surely do it.
Connect with a sleep consultant today, and she will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for your toddler, that accounts for your unique circumstances. I’d strongly encourage you to consider one-on-one help from a consultant, since toddler sleep training can be really tough. That said, even if you can’t achieve true no-cry sleep training, you can certainly aim for very low-cry sleep training. Specifically, try the following simple techniques and strategies before you plan to start sleep training. Fading is a very gentle and no-cry approach to weaning your child off his sleep associations.
Read on for 5 reasons it’s time to stop putting off sleep coaching, and start working on sleep today. But unfortunately, sleep training is not something that gets easier with time, for most people. Some parents view gentle sleep training as sleep training that involves almost zero tears, while other parents consider Ferberizing (check and console) methods gentle because they allow for periodic comforting. So, for the purposes of this article, we’ll call gentle sleep training an approach that minimizes crying and allows for lots of parental involvement and closeness. While there are no hard-and-fast rules as to what make a great bedtime or nap time routine, as a general rule, keep routines short for young babies and longer for toddlers and preschoolers, and be sure that you have a definitive ending to your routine. For instance, if your child prefers to be nursed to sleep, you may choose to swap in rocking to sleep.
If you nurse to sleep, for instance, you would gradually work towards getting to the point where you nurse until your child is drowsy, but not fully asleep.
However, while gentler methods may take weeks of work before you see signs of real improvement, the process is often more enjoyable for everyone! And, just because my son can count to 20 (mostly) at two years old doesn’t mean all two year olds can. They might have older kids and just can’t ignore their other kids to spend three hours putting the baby to sleep at night. I have parents literally wait five minutes during night-wakings and their baby just goes back to sleep!
Even better, once you have your Personalized Sleep Plan™, your consultant will walk you through each step of implementing it at home. She falls back into old patterns easily if one little thing is not consistant, and I am not consistant enough.
It may be as easy as waiting a little longer to go in when he wakes and see if he resettles himself without a feeding along with making sure he’s getting plenty to eat during the day.
Now that she’s older, you might work to come up with a modified plan of what worked before that includes talking over sleep with your daughter or a picture book about sleep.
I cannot bear to leave him alone when he is crying, so the leave and let cry option does not work for me. He will question your authority especially when your decision is contrary to his feelings which he may not have much control over.


This causes great discomfort for a kid and has can sometimes have a negative impact on his sleep.
In fact, you’re slurring sentences so badly people think you have a drinking problem.
They are lonely, scared, in pain, sad, or any number of things that require a parent’s attention.
For instance, decide ahead of time how you will handle middle-of-the-night waking, or nap refusals, and then stick to those sleep rules so as to help your toddler understand what your boundaries look like. That’s why we usually suggest offering a snack (or a breastfeed, or a bottle, perhaps, for younger toddlers) before a nap, and before bedtime. Toddlers are masters of bedtime stalling, so be sure that your routine has a strong end that clearly signals to your toddler that it’s time to lie down and sleep.
But you may also want to offer bigger rewards – maybe after a week of great sleep behavior, your toddler gets to pick a small toy from the store. Just remember that throughout this process, you will need to keep your cool and remain calm. So even though it may be tough, stay firm in enforcing your sleep-time rules, and in your sleep coaching plan – if you do, it’ll pay off soon, and your whole family will be sleeping better! She’ll help you implement it, too, and will be available to answer any of your sleep training questions.
It helps to have the support and guidance of a pro in tough sleep coaching situations, and it sounds like yours may be tough. The challenge is for 4+ months she only sleeps 4+ hours before she cries and cries and cries until I (not dad) snuggle her and let her sleep in our bed. Sometimes it lasts 30 seconds and sometimes it lasts 10-15 minutes, and if we go in to console her it just creates a terrible cycle, so we resist going in while it goes against every fiber of my being – I feel like I’m torturing her to leave her in her room to scream and then fall asleep!
Sorry you’re going through this ?? Could this be the 18 month sleep regression coming a bit late? Because sometimes, doing small things like adjusting bedtime or adding in one or two additional feedings can go a long way towards solving sleep challenges, which means less sleep training work for you and your child in the long-run. Sure, you want to hold off on sleep training if your child is ill, or if you have a vacation coming up, or a big transition (like moving to a new house). You can read this post about 5 things to do before you start sleep training for more details.
The truth is, there are many, many ways to approach sleep training – and many of those approaches involve minimal crying. So be aware that the spectrum of gentle sleep training is large, and will vary from one family to the next. A child who can fall asleep independently is a child who can fall BACK to sleep when she wakes between sleep cycles at night, or during a nap, and who sleeps through the night and takes long, consistent, restorative naps. Or if you are fading out rocking, you may work to get to the point where your child falls asleep in your arms, but without the rocking movement. Provided you are committed to your sleep training plan and are willing to put in the time and energy needed to reach your goals, gentle sleep training can be an effective and low-fuss way to finally get your baby or toddler sleeping through the night. Just like my four year old can’t really draw a picture of a person, some of his friends can. Or, they might be people who just recognize they just aren’t that patient to spend hours or that their baby missing three hours of sleep is not good for them. They have the time and patience to spend with their baby and feel it’s the best way to approach it.
That’s when I develop a plan that suits both your personalities and sometimes that takes time to figure out when your personalities aren’t meshing (when it comes to sleep! This week she was waking up at 4am and refused to go back to sleep in the usual manner, then napped really early and fell asleep before bedtime and the whole cycle started over again.
You will need work on re-teaching his body not to be hungry at night and encouraging him to eat more during the day.
Her comprehension level is probably a bit higher than it was at 8 months so a book might help or adjustments to your bedtime routine. He will also test your limits just for the sake of doing it.In such a case, you need to to be firm yet calm.
At about 16 months after trying every sleep training option possible I finally decided to put him in his big boy bed (twin).
While you don’t want a child who grazes constantly and never eats a real meal, most toddlers do need healthy snacks between meals in order to sleep well, and to not wake from hunger. If either of us try to rock her she is fight until she gets out of the chair and runs into our room and begs to get into our bed. If you haven’t been through that already with your daughter, that may be your culprit. Using substitution, you would substitute in a different method to put your child to sleep – like, say, rocking to sleep. However, if you have a few weeks where you’ll be staying at home and not having many schedule interruptions, and if your child is healthy, then guess what?
Because sleep habits become entrenched as your child grows, so the baby who gets accustomed to being rocked to sleep becomes the toddler who firmly believes the only way TO fall asleep is being rocked! They are convinced that putting their child to sleep drowsy, but awake is wasted effort, because their children aren’t capable of self-soothing and falling asleep independently. Whatever the reason, these are parents who decide that faster is better in the big picture.
They’ve been getting up at night for months, but their baby simply needed to be left alone for a few minutes.
By bringing her into bed with me one morning and gettting her to sleep until her normal wake up tim (6:15ish) I was able to reset her clock. Keep in mind too, that as they get older, they definitely work harder at testing the limits so setting limits and sticking to them will help you in the long run as well. It grew on him quickly and I would stay in the room sit next to his bed, not on it and not touching him at all, until he fell asleep and the I would leave. But, in the same token, please don’t judge moms who choose to parent differently than you. Just be sure to brush your toddler’s teeth after the bedtime snack, before your little one goes to sleep. If you do this consistently, over time, you can help to cut down on (and maybe eliminate) your toddler’s stall tactics. Use our age-based sample schedules, or our free schedule maker, as a model for what a good schedule should look like, and then spend a week or two working towards that. That might seem odd – after all, isn’t this just teaching your child another sleep association? Add to this the fact that toddlers are generally stubborn little cuties who exert their new-found will and opinions with surprising conviction, and you have a toddler with some troubling sleep associations who absolutely, plainly, without-a-doubt refuses to sleep any other way.
The idea here is that it’s easier (and gentler) to wean away from a weaker, less habitual sleep association (in this case, rocking) than it is from a stronger, more preferred sleep association (in this case, nursing).
And, just like your 10 month old might still need a night feeding, some of your 4 month olds don’t. Every few days I would sit further an further from his bed until I could lay him down and leave. I love my son more than anything in this world, and I have chosen the method that I feel works best for him and our family. But the pleasure and the pain I went thru all these months is worth when I see her beaming with confidence. You can use our schedule resource page to see sample schedules by age, and to create a custom sleep schedule with our schedule-maker. You can definitely offer comfort (although it sounds like your attempts to comfort her are making things worse right now). Their baby is highly adaptable and actually a good self-soother, they just didn’t know it.
The beautiful part about her is that she knows this is a slower approach and knows what her expectations should be.
Once your child is falling asleep with a less-preferred sleep association (in our example, rocking), it will likely be faster and easier to gradually wean your child away from this new sleep association than it would have been to wean him away from the more preferred sleep association (in our example, nursing). Fortunately, we have a team of expert consultants standing by who specialize in helping tired families get started with their Personalized Sleep Plan™.
Many of these parents tell us later that they were completely surprised at how quickly their child picked up new, healthy sleep habits. I would recommend that you read through my article discussing the Sleep Lady’s Shuffle and start working through those steps, one at time for several weeks.
If things get worse, you can always purchase a follow-up help package in the Helpdesk; we offer discounted packages to existing clients like you.
Your baby or toddler is going to be capable of a lot of great things in her life – including building healthy sleep habits!
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Breastfeed and then hand over to Dad to finish the bedtime routine, and possibly use one of my gentle sleep coaching methods, like the Shuffle.



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Comments

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  3. Justin_Timberlake, 18.06.2014
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  5. 2oo8, 18.06.2014
    Clothing are a should at this stage able to do well when we have been far as physically lifting the.