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SITTING at an open cafe in a busy mall, I couldn’t help but hear the screams of the three-year old on the next table. If your baby is between 1 to 2 years old, then identifying the triggers is relatively easy.
The key to getting young kids to stop having their tantrum, is to first, just get them to calm down. Keep in mind as I write this, in no way do I think I’m an expert, or a perfect parent.
This entry was posted in behavior, Charlie, Maggie, Toddlers, Tuesday's Toddler Tales and tagged behavior, Charlie, Maggie, Toddlers, Tuesday's Toddler Tales by summers1405. Wellness Healthcare Limited is a leading health service provider in Africa situated in Nigeria. If you’ve ever been at the receiving end of a child’s temper tantrums, then you understand that it is not a funny experience. Temper tantrums are exceedingly common in children, especially between ages 1 and 4 -- the early part of which is sometimes called the "terrible 2s" -- when kids are still learning how to communicate effectively. Some children are more prone to tantrums, particularly kids who are intense, hyperactive, or moody, or kids who don't adapt well to new environments.
If your child still won't calm down and you know the tantrum is just a ploy to get your attention, don't give in.
If your child is upset to the point of being inconsolable or out of control, hold him tightly to calm him down. Make sure your child is well rested and fed before you go out so he doesn't blow up at the slightest provocation. Put away off-limit temptations (for example, don't leave candy bars lying on the kitchen counter close to dinnertime) so they don't lead to battles.
If temper tantrums are becoming more frequent, they haven't stopped by around age 4, or your child is in danger of hurting him or herself or others, it's time to call your child's health care provider.
The mother of the child looked around discreetly and spoke in a soft voice to her wailing daughter. Children that young usually get upset when they’re hungry, sleepy, tired or are facing a sensory overload. They’re learning independence and are starting to rely on themselves in some situations. If she usually throws a tantrum before going to bed at night, move the bedtime up a little. And on an outing or a situation that is not part of the normal routine, keep a close eye on the frustration level of your child.
Imagine getting a lift from a good Samaritan with your two year-old son because you have no car, and on arriving at your destination, your usually adorable little boy refuses to get out of the car. More than half of young children will have one or more tantrums a week as they vent their frustrations and protest their lack of control. For most toddlers, tantrums are simply a way of getting out their frustration and testing limits (Will mommy buy me that toy if I scream really loud?). Obviously, that strategy won't do you any good in the long run, because your child will constantly go into tantrum mode whenever he wants something. Even if you have to walk through the supermarket dragging your screaming toddler, just ignore the tantrum. Try to keep your daily routines as consistent as possible and give your child a five-minute warning before changing activities. Let your child choose which book to bring in the car or whether she wants grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly for lunch.
Children who are old enough to talk can be reminded to use their words instead of screaming. When he stays cool in a situation that would normally have triggered a tantrum, tell him he did a good job of controlling his temper. Her words had no apparent effect and the child threw herself down on the floor, legs kicking the air, yelling even louder. The tantrum might manifest itself in an insistence for a particular toy or a refusal to go in for a bath, but it can be attributed to simpler causes like sleepiness.
It’s always better to deal with the underlying problem before your child reaches the danger mark.
The experience becomes worse when he bunches his fists and begins to cry as you try your best to drag him out of the car. It's when they become regular or intense that parents need to look into what's causing them and find ways to stop them. Take a deep breath, gain control over your emotions, and then discipline your child by calmly but firmly letting him know that tantrums are not acceptable behavior.


If that doesn't work, remove him from the situation and put him in a time-out for a minute or two to give him time to calm down.
These little choices won't make much of a difference to you, but they'll make your child feel as though she has at least some control over her own life. Would you rather let your child watch 15 extra minutes of television or listen to her scream for 30 minutes? When your child's face starts to crinkle and redden in that telltale way, open a book or offer to go on a walk to the park before it can escalate into a full-blown tantrum.
The minute you deal with the underlying cause and resolve it successfully, the tantrum will go away. They’re starting to make choices and when their choices and demands are not complied with immediately, it is then that they lose their cool. Your instincts may be to try to explain the situation to them, which may not work while they are in the throws of the tantrum. The general guideline for the length of a time-out is one minute per year of the child's age. Lying at your feet is your toddler, who has just been informed (by you) that, no, she cannot have the Barbie doll on display. Make a funny face, tell a joke, or start a pillow fight to get your child's mind off what's upsetting him. She hurriedly paid her bill, tucked her still-crying daughter under her arm, and walked off towards the elevators. If she does not want to go bathing, compromise by letting her take a toy into the bath with her. Her fists are pounding the floor in fury as she emits a shriek that can be heard in the farthest reaches of the parking lot. The other shoppers are gaping at this spectacle as you wish desperately for a hole to open in the floor and swallow you up. How many of us have been caught in similar situations, with our little ones screaming murder and refusing to listen to reason? Depending on past behavior and parents’ reactions, some children learn to use tantrums as a means to get what they want.
However, even when children throw a Little Nero tantrums, things can get out of hand and they turn into emotional tantrums. In this article, ways to deal with emotional tantrums will be discussed first.Why Do 2 Year Olds Have Temper Tantrums?Toddler tantrums are actually natural behaviors. Sure, I’d like to have 13 hours of sleeps every night, plenty of playing and no working during the day, all my meals prepared for and a bath given while I play with a rubber duck. But toddlers are actually going through hellish turmoil inside.Babies come to this world with no knowledge of anything.
They have just discovered how to use tools, but they don’t have the motor skills fine-tuned enough to always get the results they want. WTH?To make things worse, when toddlers are disappointed or upset, they would feel strong emotions that they have yet learned to control. While their stress response systems such as crying are mature at birth for survival reasons, their emotional regulating systems are not yet developed. The lack of vocabularies to express themselves also adds to their anger and frustration1. In other words, they need our help.What Goes On Inside The ToddlersWhen a toddler is overcome by stress such as rage, a little alarm (amygdala) inside his emotional brain (aka limbic or lower brain) is triggered. This alarm is mature at birth because an infant needs to be able to sense distress and signal to his parents, usually by crying, to survive. The stress hormones also hinder the toddler’s ability to access the rational thinking inside his logical brain. Similar things can happen in grownups if they haven’t learned how to handle their own emotions at young age. Only then can the logical brain rationally calm the emotional brain7.Why Parents Should Handle Toddler Tantrums With CareAt birth, babies have billions of brain cells (neurons) but not many brain cell connections (synapses).
Temper tantrums are some of the most crucial life experiences in sculpting the brain.Being able to regulate emotions during tantrums allows proper brain cell connections to form. These neural pathways are essential for the child to manage stress and be assertive later in life. If a child is not given the opportunity to learn these regulating skills, for example if tantrums are met with anger or punishment, the child may grow up not being able to handle stress well or be assertive. Emotion dysregulation can also affect future social competence as well as academic performance10,11.But if handled with care, tantrums can become an invaluable life lesson in emotion regulation which has been shown to link to resiliency, social competence, academic success and even popularity12.
For example, if a child doesn’t want dinner, instead of forcing her to eat which will bring on more emotions, parent can ask her to choose to eat the meat or the vegetable first. When questions with simple choices are presented, the child’s thinking brain is activated.


Distractions such as letting the toddler have another toy (but not the original one she wanted) or singing a silly song can divert the child’s attention and raise her curiosity. Curiosity piques the interest of the logical brain and triggers the release of a feel-good chemical (dopamine) in the brain.
Her thinking and verbal functions cannot be accessed.  Therefore, trying to reason with her or asking her about her feelings is a waste of time. It is important to help a child learn to regulate his emotion15.Be Calm And PositiveAny parent can tell you that toddlers mimic what grownups do.
If you get angry and start yelling at the toddler when she throws a tantrum, you are modeling how she should react when things don’t go her way. Instead, by staying calm, you are teaching her how to face difficulties and upsetting situations without losing control of emotions16.Another reason for staying calm and positive is that emotions, especially negative ones, are contagious17. Do you want your loved ones to punish you, walk away from you or lock you in a room by yourself?Sometimes a tantrum may start as means to get something the toddler wants. But if left undealt with, it can escalate into a strong hormonal storm which a young child is not equipped to cope with by himself. Either way, it means the child will not have the opportunity to form proper brain connections to deal with strong emotions.
When facing frustrations later in life, he may struggle to be assertive or have angry outbursts.Sometimes if a toddler in distress is met with negative or lack of responses from his parents, he may stop crying. Studies have shown that distressed young children can still have high stress hormonal level inside his body18.
In some cases, this dissociation between behavioral and physiological responses can lead to emotional or mental health problems later in life19.
It should only be used when the child has hurt someone intentionally such as biting or hitting and when he is not flooded with emotions. And it should be non-punitively and done in a kind and firm way.Teach VocabulariesWhen the dust has settled, when your child has thoroughly de-escalated from the intense emotional state, you can review what happened with her. Narrating what happened can also help her create those important neural connections to manage emotional situations in future.You can even tell her how you feel when she throws a tantrum. You are also teaching her how her action can affect others and what empathy is.Prevent TantrumsThere are things parents can do to prevent tantrums. When these physical factors are present, all it takes is a trigger to set things in motion. So, set a schedule of sleep-eat-rest to avoid these tantrum traps.Being bored, stressed, angry, frustrated or disappointed are effective triggers. If you know your child will be upset when not getting something, provide alternatives or distractions in advance.
When a child is in this power struggle mode, he is not flooded with hormones and intense emotions. You can tell by the lack of painful expressions.With this type of tantrums, most parents know they cannot give in or they would be teaching their children to use tantrum to get whatever they want.
You can mirror his expression and shout mildly back to him, “I know you really want this. When your child feels understood, you will have his attention and the rational thinking that comes with it. It still puts a smile on my face whenever I think of that.How Common Are Toddler Tantrums?Toddler tantrums are very common. A study conducted by University of Wisconsin on 1219 families showed that 87% of children at 18-24 months had displayed tantrums. Your child is not bad.Why Does My Child Seem More Difficult Than Others?It is possible that your child has some inborn temperament traits that fall into the difficult category.
For example, simple choices and distractions may not be enough to activate those children’s logical brains.
Parents may need to do more work to restore their children’s emotional balance and spend more time teaching them how to express their feelings with words. Now to put it into practice as my son who just turned a year has tantrums in specific situations usually diaper changing, brushing teeth and getting into the stroller. I was always aware that Grace may have tantrums – thankfully they weren’t too bad!
I never knew there were different types but good to know as both of my little ones are going through that right now. I have bookmarked for future reference as we are on the cusp of the tantrum stage – he’s only 15 months but having a good go at the odd strop!



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Comments

  1. Sevda, 09.06.2015
    Way is up, Alicia Silverstone's son some state.
  2. BHB, 09.06.2015
    Desires to assert that independence in the.
  3. Stilni_Qiz, 09.06.2015
    Example, if he's dry at day care or right after.
  4. XOSE111, 09.06.2015
    Adding that youngsters who can.
  5. BALACA_SIRTIQ_USAQ, 09.06.2015
    Day you want just seemed to reduce the preliminaries and be a entire lot cleaner AND even when.