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Many seemed to be interested in cultural differences and resulting problems in the relationship between a foreign woman and a Japanese man. Instead I asked friends and fellow bloggers, who have had Japanese boyfriends or are even married to a Japanese man, to share their personal experience with us. It was an interesting journey and I want to thank all of the participants for taking the time to tell us about their own unique story. I wonder if that’s generally one thing that might prevent Japanese men from dating a Western girl.
In the previous article we were already discussing the language issue that cross-cultural couples might have.
When I started dating my husband, I didn’t really feel that we had any cultural barriers. The language barrier seems to be a real issue even when you try hard to understand each other. Just like River, Alyse also notices cultural differences when it comes to responsibilities in the household. I think we all gained very interesting insights thanks to these young women who were willing to share their unique stories and experiences with us. While there’s no doubt that each relationship is different, a few things were mentioned again and again.
I know there are a lot of young women out there who are either interested in dating Japanese men or who are already in a relationship. I bet it’s not easy, but if he is the one, then I think it’s worth fighting for! Yes, being shy is a big problem, but more for the combination Japanese guy + Western girl, I guess! Glad to hear you enjoyed the post and thanks again for taking the time to share your own story with us! Some mentioned that Japanese men are slow to respond or often don’t mail as often as they expected them to, so maybe it’s just very common? About your problem, I have heard that there are types in Japan (which may I say the majime type) who did approach you if he really like you, and after you two are one, then he will like ignore you or be passive towards you. So the point is, if you really love him (no blind love,consider the future with him, the culture differ, etc.) then go for it!
In the land of overworked singles with little free time, it should come to no surprise that organized dating events are so popular.
Always up for a challenge, I decided to join a friend and try speed dating when he asked me to accompany him. Throughout my life, I’ve initially disregarded many guys I wasn’t attracted to only to find myself seeing them in a new light not long after. I met my friend at Roppongi Station and we walked to Bar Quest, where the event was taking place. There were about forty of us in the room, so I’d be meeting around 20 men in the next three hours.
Overall, even though I personally did not meet anyone that I felt I clicked with, I still had a good evening and enjoyed my experience. GaijinPot Special Contributor: Sara Who is a serial online dater, train ride of shame expert and has been dating in Tokyo since 2011. I’ve been on Return of Kings for quite a while, reading and enjoying my fair share of wisdom, sardonic humor, and women bashing. On the bright side most of what I will mention below could be fixed by simply making it clear from the beginning what you will and will not tolerate. If she seems just like the misguided stereotype that you’ve read about then trust me when I say that she is deceiving you! Something that really needs to be mentioned is that Japan doesn’t really have a mental healthcare industry. Another simple thing that needs to be mentioned is that all too often many men get married in Japan and have their first child. Kings Wiki is an ROK-affiliated wiki that contains articles around the themes of masculinity and nationalism.
Former AKB48 singer Atsuko Maeda, 22, is dating kabuki actor Matsuya Onoe, 28, tabloid media reported on Wednesday.
For the past 12 months, Maeda has been active in movies and appearing on TV variety programs, and also made a guest appearance at AKB48’s summer concert in Sapporo in July. I read that Matsuya has already introduced Maeda to his mother, and Maeda has also informed her mother about their relationship. Kabuki actors can usually pick and choose which celeb they want to date along with baseball players here.


I was rushing to get to work, and all i got to see on the news was 10 minutes of drivel about a young couple getting together. I'm amazed that you spend time criticizing this article as "irrelevant" o asking if she's a real talent or not, if you don't care, simply don't comment, I've seen Acchan singing and acting, granted, she has a long way to go but there's potential in her, I'm happy that she got hooked up with a person celebrity or not, she's young and she's going to make mistakes but we have to support young people, she's popular because she was for a long time the "face" of AKB48 and although I wouldn't buy or watch any of their shows doesn't mean that I wouldn't care for the people. Maybe it is my imagination but Maeda certainly seems happier since leaving the Akimoto Gumi. I guess because by then I’d been in Japan long enough that I knew my way around and I had lived with two Japanese host families, so I have a good sense of Japanese manners and customs.
At the first meeting we exchanged mail addresses, met up a few times after that and at some point it just happened.
Of course there are some specific cultural traits that differ, but overall, I’d say finding a Japanese boyfriend is the same as finding any boyfriend. If you can speak Japanese, you have better chances to meet them as it’s easier to have a conversation and flirt when you share a language. But if somebody is naturally shy when it comes to these kind of things, they can’t just change that easily, I guess. Western women are put on a pedestral sometimes, and Japanese men don't think they would ever have a chance. We flirted pretty heavily with each other, but he was the one to tell me up front that he liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. You’re looking for a serious relationship but can’t seem to meet anyone interesting around you? I’m definitively a Tinder girl, and if I’m generally satisfied with my dating app, I do sometimes feel a twinge of uneasiness after swiping left on a man because he didn’t quite fit my type. After collecting my name tag, scoring sheet and drink coupon, I sat at my table, lit by a single pink candle.
A few of the participants I spoke with had met people through this event in the past and Tokyo Speed Dating has played matchmaker to more than 15 happily married couple since 2001. Men on this site preach the red pill but forget that it applies to all women, not just women in certain countries. There are cultural differences here to consider and you need to try extra hard to get the point across. There was a time in Japan where women were expected to behave this way but it is not like that anymore. The husband works many hours a week, gets his paycheck, and comes home only to give all of the money to the wife.
I had a taste for Onigiri [steamed rice balls] which I don’t have here but that is okay. Of course she called multiple times over the next several weeks wondering what happened to me, but I was gone for good.
Many women are running around there with some serious unchecked mental issues and you would not have the faintest idea at first.
I hope so because these are exactly the same complaints men on ROK typically have regarding women out here in the West. What needs to be said is that all women behave the same way generally speaking unless the culture checks that behavior. There is supposed to be a strict no-dating rule for members of AKB48 in order to maintain their squeaky clean image among their legions of fans. That having been said I am anxiously awaiting the graduation Sae Miyazawa so she can start a relationship with an American pilot living in Japan :) In the meantime I am happy with my current girlfriend Mariko Shinoda. If she and her beau are at the introduction to mother stage they have probably been a couple for a while. We only spoke in Japanese with each other for a short time before he started to learn English, so he could communicate with me better. There had been two relationships that lasted for a while – with a Japanese guy and with a Korean guy.
He always tells other people he is shy, but he’s actually super friendly and easy to talk to, which made our dating period go smoothly I think. If you really love him, you are the one who need to be proactive and show your affection towards him. First he just keep looking at me, even in the meeting, his eyes is just on me but he did not made any move. Don’t be too sesitive and selfconcious, just be who you are, try to understand him, communication is the point.
If these events are mostly geared towards a Japanese speaking clientele, do not despair if your nihongo skills are not quite up to par. How about I tried building a real connection for a change, instead of looking for instant attraction. Every five minutes, a bell rings and participants discreetly evaluate each other on a scoring sheet, before moving on to their next potential match.


After talking to a few men, I quickly realized that five minutes could either pass very quickly or sometimes drag on forever… Having been on many Tinder dates before, I rarely ran out of things to say, but we were also provided with a few sample questions, to help get things going.
As you meet so many people, you do sometimes get a bit confused and forget which questions you already asked. This means that the avoidance of responsibility and duplicity could be more prevalent depending on the situation. You are being lured into a trap and it will come in the form of an “accidental” pregnancy, stalking, and just everything seeming like it’s too good to be true. This happens even if the wife is not working, which is also common as Japan still has a large portion of married women who are homemakers. She wanted access to my checking account and began telling me what I should buy with my own money. You can ask someone something and they will smile and say “maybe” but what they really mean is a big fat NO. Problems such as abuse can be seen as normal and that behavior will be projected towards you.
Many men on ROK have said this is a deal breaker so nothing more needs to be said on the subject. I realised I was never going to want to marry him (not because he was Japanese, but just because he wasn’t the one), and so we had to break up. Any communication problems really don’t phase me because I think we care enough about each other to talk things out and try to understand each other! I remember watching a Japanese dorama- Seiji no mikata- and the mother in law used to come at the newly weds’ house- when they were at work- only to check out how the daughter in law was doing the household.
With the invention of dating apps like Tinder, we sometimes forget how people used to meet back in the day.
The goal is to get a general idea of the person and decide whether you’d like to meet them again or not. Halfway through, the organizers also announced a welcome break to grab a bite and mingle freely. However, I met many interesting people, that were not my type or in my age range, but would definitively make a great partner to somebody else. If you can’t seem to find what you are looking for or don’t feel confident enough with your nampa skills, it’s definitively worth giving speed dating a try.
However, I’ve seen way too many men criticize women as a whole but then start praising Eastern Asian women. What I’ve experienced comes from dating Japanese women myself and speaking with foreign men that lives there.
When it comes to making financial decisions, is also common for the wife to have the final say. I told her that I will do what I want with my money and that she has no business asking me about my financial assets. This will include your personal relationships when dating so be prepared for a barrage of passive aggressiveness. There is also the chance of her pulling off a disappearing act, leaving you wondering what the hell happened. It was disgusting how much speculation, 'rumours' and questioning that this is generating; they even had to cut short a media event by another AKB member, because the reporters were continuously asking her what she knew about the relationship - instead of what she was there to promote. It doesn’t happen as often as countries like Russia, the USA, or the UK, but it still happens more than you think. I met his parents pretty early on too, and even though they’re much older and seem pretty conservative, we get along fine.
If two people selected each other, their contact information is then forwarded by the organizers and it is up to them to arrange a second meeting. There is a huge emphasis on this and a strong aversion to complaining, even to your loved ones in private. Many husbands and wives in Japan have their own mistresses and both are aware of it and don’t care. Let them date, let them get their first awkward kiss out of the way, let them have the morning where they ask themselves "What did I ever see in this guy?" Let the members know the joy and pain of love instead of just singing songs about what they're forbidden to know!




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