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I’ve previously written about dating in Japan and interviewed a few of my female fellow bloggers about dating Japanese men. They were mainly concerned about how to approach a Japanese woman and cross-cultural differences that could be an issue.
I want to thank all the great people who agreed to collaborate and share their story with all of us! Chauvinism and misogyny are male attributes that are present all over the world, and Japan is no exception. I also wanted to know if Coolio sees any cultural differences that could cause trouble in a relationship. Has anybody else seen the super gorgeous Japanese woman with the super-nerdy boyfriend or husband?
For example, if you’re a foreigner who plays in a band here in Japan, it’s like an instant hook! During that initial, sparkly, new relationship phase not knowing Japanese can be an interesting way to learn together and grow your relationship in the process. Matthias is a fellow German who is married to a Japanese woman and has his own little German-Japanese family now. Putting aside simple things such as her being shocked when he sticks his chopsticks into a bowl of rice, I think the main issues lie in the different sense of humor, but also in different expectations. Thanks to all these wonderful men who agreed to share their story with us, I think we all got a pretty good picture of what it is really like to date Japanese women in Japan. It’s interesting to see that foreign men and women seem to experience similar issues in their cross-cultural relationships. I wonder if it’s eventually more difficult for a foreign women to adapt to a cross-cultural relationship with a Japanese guy, when living in Japan. I feel like anyone, regardless of gender, who is mainly looking at the race of their prospective partner, is not looking for the right things and would not be a good person to date. And I really disagree with Loco’s statement about Japan being a hard place to approach women.
You probably know that my experience is completely different from yours as we’ve previously talked about it. In my 6+ years here in Japan I’ve never had any problems with being approached like that or being groped. Zooming: Perhaps next you could interview japanese people what they are thinking about the subject? I think that’s a huge issue, not only when you try to find a partner, but also a true friend here in Japan.
It shouldn’t matter where someone is from, but who that person really is and how well you can connect with that person. It was quite the whirlwind, but it was something we both as people committed wholeheartedly to.
In my experience, most relationships around me (though I live in the countryside) trend toward traditional gender roles. Please enter at least one email addressYou are trying to send out more invites than you have remaining. I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun. Western women will generally let you know up front that theya€™re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking youa€™re an idiot. First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. And theya€™ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Dona€™t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact youa€™re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, youa€™re already pre-defined as a€?a foreigner,a€? someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. So the deal is, if your wife has a job, shea€™s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m.
So now your wifea€™s at home every day, washing the sheets, scrubbing the bathtub, and cooking meals, which sounds all hunky dory, except that shea€™s going to require the same amount of effort from you.
Once her family and friends hear about you lazing around the house on the weekends, or out riding your skateboard or whatever, theya€™ll pressure you to get a second job, or at least work in the garden.
So after you finish tilling the earth, you better head off to teach a weekends-worth of corporate classes. Theya€™re merely flip-sides of the same coin, only one wears a suit while the other puts on fake eyelashes and a push-up bra. Ia€™ve heard foreign women complain that they cana€™t meet Japanese men, but eh, Ia€™m not so sure.
Seems like youa€™d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan. With all that, ita€™s surprising how many foreign guys end up with rather homely Japanese ladies. Well, if you spend enough time fishing, youa€™re bound to hook a boot or an old tire eventually. Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: a group viewed as not really a€?normal,a€? with values and behaviors outside of the mainstream, but also thought of as flamboyant and entertaining. And all right, maybe if youa€™re drunk enough, you might try sleeping with a€?one of them,a€? just to see what ita€™s like.
In the end, Japanese women arena€™t simple and gullible, although theya€™re good at pretending to be.
So If youa€™re a foreign guy whoa€™s determined to chase Japanese women, then, well, I guess have at it. Surely it’s only depressing if your a foreign man living in Japan with no method of escape, possibly with a Japanese wife and no hope of ever having sex again. I’ve still only seen (in person and up close enough to read their expressions) less than a dozen Japanese in the US in my entire life, so do they even spend time over here in the US (other than in Hawaii)??
What I can’t understand is my undying desire to learn more about the Japanese, and I find them terribly fascinating and am totally jealous of those that get to spend time there seeing things first hand. Well, they got it coming: if you guys keep hanging out in Roppongi, dating the part-time receptionist girls with the fake eyelashes and the purple contacts and, to make things even better, eventually marrying them without really knowing them (nor their families), you are in for one hell of a ride. Try going after a girl with a real career and a skill set that goes beyond makeup and expensive fashion complements and then write how it goes. I haven’t lived in Japan for as long nor read as extensively on the Japanese society as you claim to, but after the first six months living in Tokyo I got that picture very clear. Well, you added quite an interesting embellishment to my article, right down to the color of the contacts, but unfortunately, you’ve misread the situation. Perhaps this is my fault for not painting a fuller picture, but I was trying to write about Japanese women, not so much myself.
All that aside, what I really wanted to communicate is that there’s a lot of misinformation presented about Japanese women.
People should be careful not to judge Japan too quickly based upon hearsay or first impressions.


The picture shown at the intro to this article on the blog shows a couple dressed in white posing on a dock with really brilliant looking trombones.
It might be that they are both into classical music, maybe they both play instruments, maybe they met each other at a classical concert. I can’t comment a lot, since I agree with a lot, including that most women in Japan are sadly only looking for a guy that can walk and provide for them and the family that they want to make.
I don’t disagree that young women in Japan go to extraordinary lengths to appear attractive. What I found interesting is that all the married Japanese women (married to a foreigner) were homely indeed.
Younger couples who just started going out seem to consist more often of a foreign guy with a dressed-up Japanese woman. I guess once the guy has seen his girlfriend without make-up, he can decide if he wants to run away screaming or if he wants to continue the relationship.
Just like the link Ken posted shows, some people completely change with tons of make-up, fake lashes, wigs, extensions and whatnot. My guess is that any contacts will make one’s irises bigger, and yes, there are a number of women who wear them. There’s also a trend that started a few years ago, that seems to be dying down, where people wear glasses with no glass in them. The colored lenses you’ll find more likely in the cosplay community, but not so much among Japanese women who want to dress up in a cute way.
There are contact lenses that will improve your sight and have a special effect (make your eyes bigger, different color etc.). You know that even high school students aren’t allowed to wear make-up in Japan, right?
MTK Elephant Mark on Porcelain Cup and Saucer Hello, We have been schlepping a coffee set all around the world for the past 40 odd years!
Qianlong seal with extra marks beneath it Hi, my name is Christine, and thanks for taking a look at my post.
Japan Pottery Mark Query - Cherry Blossom Motif in Red with "N" inside Japan Pottery Mark Query - Cherry Blossom Motif in Red with "N" inside:- We just found this website and already we love it! Please help translate this Japanese pottery signature in square red seal mark My mother and father-in-law were "Collectors". Chinese Gold Embossed Hand-Painted Urn with Red Diamond 'made in china' pottery mark with tea cup logo Chinese Gold Embossed Hand-Painted Urn with Red Diamond 'made in china' pottery mark with tea cup logo:- Hello! Red Stamped Seal Pottery mark Chinese or Japanese ? Irecently bought this beautiful dog statue in a resell shop in Hot Springs,Ar. Pottery Mark Query Double T Double Diamond About 5 years ago my Mother passed leaving me all this wonderful stuff. Empress China "Hand Painted Japan" We received a set of dishes from family members, the set is a beautiful floral pattern with a gold rim.
Gilded Cup and Saucer Peacock Pattern Unknown Wavy Lines Porcelain Mark Hi Peter, I just acquired this lovely cup and saucer pattern with peacocks and gilting.
Pottery mark query - Gold crown with no other marks My very much beloved Grandmother willed me a tea set. Unknown Pottery mark - made in china i bought some china at a thrift store and can't identify the mark.
Pottery Mark Query - Blue anchor (inc cross, crown and orb) Found a pretty blue bird statue in the garden, dug up by the builder along with lots of old bottles, boots and cow teeth! These little gems are something that was discovered in my Grandmas things after she passed away.
In August 2013 Ben participated in the popular Japanese TV show Motemote 99 where he met a wonderful Japanese women.
In Japan, women and men tend to socialize separately, so unless you find someone at work (which has its own issues), you’re limited in the ways you might meet a potential date. It takes a certain amount of commitment to start dating when everyone will know about it in a few days. And often, at least according to my Japanese male friends, those stereotypes involve aggressive attitudes, impatience, sexual promiscuity, and resistance to compliance. The society dictates what is acceptable, tolerable, attractive and even what will bring a man the prestige among his peers he might desire, and in most cases the women they choose either fulfill these needs or are expected to conform to them somehow. I started to improve my Japanese so I could communicate better, and it still wasn’t working. If you can spark an interest or really engage a woman, you have a chance for a date whether she is Japanese, American, British or Martian. I know some couples who get along very well without actually understanding each other’s language.
A nice example for this is childcare – Japanese and Western fostering are quite different, and this confuses a lot of Western men. And it seems to be much easier for foreign guys to find a Japanese partner than it is for foreign women, mainly due to expectations and stereotypes that strongly exist within the Japanese society. I’ve dated both men and women in Japan, and the men turned out to be cheaters and liars who never seriously considered me as a prospect, and the women far too brazen for me. And in certain spots with host bars in Osaka and Tokyo, hosts tried to persuade me to come to their bar (but that is their job). You’re simply a great accessory that makes any Japanese person next to you stick out of the crowd.
Probably more challenging because I barely know any Japanese bloggers, but I’ll work on it. I just fear that it will be extremely difficult to find people to interview who have no problem talking about their experience so openly. I don’t doubt that it might happen, but as we all know changes in Japan can always take a looong time. The fact of the matter is that Japanese Singles will be able to connect you with the partner that you are looking for. Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak.
Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier.
As a man, youa€™re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where youa€™re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Well obviously that sucks, so it makes more sense for her to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. The difference is that men will put forth whatever effort necessary, and settle for a woman whoa€™s boring, poorly educated, unemployed, even unattractive, so long as it results in some sex. You know, I have a pretty checkered past, and I really needed to refer to my daily planner, just to be sure.
She was short and cute, and as the night progressed we ended up outside, walking down the street. Japan consistently ranks at the bottom of countries for frequency of sex, and almost half of all Japanese women flat-out state they arena€™t interested in it. Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. But in the West, if youa€™re a handsome, well-spoken guy with a good career, you can date sexy, generative, and highly successful women. Whata€™s really happening is self-selection: foreigners frequent places where the few women interested in foreigners all congregate.


Or if youa€™re desperate to get married and trapped in a place where no one else is available, well hey, prison wedding.
Somewhere out there, therea€™s a 30-pound house cat and a Labrador Retriever small enough to fit in your pocket too.
Stay at work, socialise in bars, live in a capsule hotel, never ho home, problem solved… Sort of. Some of them are actually very weird (by the way, I have been asked some of those out-of-nowhere questions too). But then again, you may need some more credentials than a foreign passport and a couple of beers to get her to make out with you.
You’d be surprised to see how much money most couples spend on their wedding here in Japan. What’s appealing at all about fighting with your spouse over you wanting to go to Comicket for a weekend? Six very plain girls went up on stage, and in fifteen minutes, a team of stylists applied make-up, hair extensions, and contacts, and the women went from ordinary to amazing, right before your eyes.
Every day before work, hostesses come in to their salons, and leave 15 minutes later, looking amazing, ready for work. I’m a Japanese woman lives in the US for decades have college degree and stable job in here. The question is, Are they wearing them to correct their vision, or just to make themselves more attractive?
We have ongoing discussions going on about such diverse subjects as the red Qianlong Qing red seal marks of China, Japanese tea sets with the ladies head hidden in the base of the cups, Famille Rose porcelains from China and Japanese dragon tea ware, and lots more.
Simple Oriental Lettering (4 characters) Impressed in a square pottery mark Hi Peter and everyone else in this community . I found it hard to make anything more than superficial connections or move past friendship. I had friends who spoke even less Japanese than I did, and they always had a hot Japanese date on their arm. I think the difference is that you don’t necessarily have to work as hard in Japan to create that spark. I’d imagine though, that there are certain things that impress Japanese women but not non-Asian women and vice versa. This is not to sound offensive, but it’s kind of true?at times their gaijin boyfriend is even less than average, just getting an ego I suppose.
It will certainly be interesting to see where this is going in the next few decades, though. Our database of eligible Japanese Women in Hiroshima will be able to quickly match you with a person that meets all of your criteria. We take no responsibility for the content on any website which we link to, please use your own discretion while surfing the links.
I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English. What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about?
Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Then after we became friends he finally told me, a€?You know, my namea€™s actually Jeff.a€? Turns out Ia€™d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year.
Even the ones whoa€™ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.
But if you ask me to describe a cat or a dog, Ia€™m gonna try to give you a realistic picture without writing an encyclopedia in the process.
If you really want to hear about me talking to a girl in the frozen food section of 7-11, well, I guess I could write that. I’d much rather be with one who is just as excited to go with me, and will race me to get the best doujinshi and compare finds afterward. There was one thing that I don’t agree with at all, and that was why I really wanted to comment. And while some of those same stereotypes apply to NJ men, the Japanese women who are attracted to NJ men are generally (in my experience) attracted to and are frankly expecting those qualities from NJ men (and may or may not be receptive if they’re not present). The decision to step outside of the expectations of one’s society has ramifications that are far-reaching, and can potentially impact every facet of their lives, be it family, career, even friendships.
When you disagree, and you eventually will, being able to speak your mind in Japanese is truly important. Keep in mind that I don’t go to clubs or parties where this might be more likely to happen. That being said, even a beautiful and smart girl like you fell for them, so you never are 100% safe, I guess. Join our site and meet Japanese Women in Hiroshima looking to meet quality singles for fun and dating in Japan. This has had some mixed results, but at least my wardrobe looks fantastic and my cholesterol level is nice and low. Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you.
Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean. Anyway, at what seemed to be the perfect moment, I swept her into a parking garage and we started making out against a concrete wall.
But unlike the women you described, they were very ordinary people with good jobs: a doctor, an author, a nurse, a teacher. In 2001 before 9-11, I lived in Manhattan and was in college finishing up my degree when by accident I met a Japanese girl in a restaurant. Hope you like hoeing turnips, cause thata€™s all the hoeing youa€™re gonna be doing for a long, long time. Plus, now suddenly shea€™s pregnant again, and you need a car, and juniora€™s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, theya€™re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression. In that case, ita€™d probably be in everyonea€™s best interest not to show her this article, really. It definitely made things easier knowing they were interested in me, yet there were distractions as well.
We had one date, that was on a Thursday, that Tuesday, the planes hit the World Trade Center. Most of us are highly educated but yes I agree we are not encouraged learning communication skills as good as Americans or westerners so sometimes when we are nervous we cannot convey our feeling well as youguys. In Tokyo at least, it was very, very common to see a homely foreign guy who looks like he hasn’t tried at all looping arms with a slender, petite, smiling Japanese girl dressed to the nines with impeccable makeup.
There were times I was not good in English nor communication but the Americans and Westerners I met accept me as me and treat me with respect.
The proposal, the meeting of her family and the obstacles we overcame with language and culture only became minute because of our undying love for one another. I assumed that it was a big reason that men like Japanese girls at all, at least in the beginning. Unlike girls from a lot of other countries (the US especially), these girls at least look like they put some effort into what they look like.



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