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In your late thirties and forties, you know yourself a bit better and are more sure about what you want. Meeting new people is relatively easy and playing the field is great because you’re not yet sure what you want. When you’re young, dating many different people helps you figure out what you want (and don’t want) in a relationship. You’re a busy person and your time is valuable, so don’t waste it by going for drinks with people you’re sure you don’t want to be in a relationship with. Just don’t go out for dinner with someone you’re definitely not interested in, just because you don’t know how to say “no”.

Pick an activity you’re interested in, like hiking or fishing, and see if they enjoy themselves.
You’ve found your hobbies and you know what you enjoy, so don’t enter into a relationship with someone who’s going to have a problem with that.
Tell the person you’re dating what you’re looking for in a relationship from the very beginning (although maybe not on the first date).
If you’re looking for something long-term, you don’t want to date someone who’s interested in keeping it casual. Date people you haven’t made up your mind about yet, but keep things casual until you’re certain.

And if you’re only interested in a part-time love affair, telling them up front is the right thing to do. You’re more sure of who you are, you’ve established your career and you’re more emotionally stable. But if you want to know whether you’re compatible with someone from the beginning, do something a little different.

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