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Jewish Humor Central is a blog to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Rita Johanfaruz, known to most Israelis by her stage name Rita, has been called Israel's most popular singer. CNN recently interviewed Rita, giving her a chance to express her feelings about the relationship between the two countries whose leaders are locked in enmity but whose people share a love for her music. Synagogues, JCCs, and Jewish clubs are booking Al's latest 1-hour programs, "The Great Jewish Comedians" and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." 2016 and 2017 dates are now available for your organization. Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures for your synagogue, JCC, or club.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event.
Buy our latest book "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" from Amazon in paperback for $9.95 and Amazon will offer you the Kindle (e-book) version free of charge.
The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 25 Purim newsletters from 1988 to 2012 filled with parody, satire, and spoofs.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. Al Kustanowitz, Jewish Humor Central's Blogger-in-Chief, has collected Jewish humor even before there was an internet. Caucassian dances group is one of the most spectacular dances of Anatolia.A As many ethnic group, Caucasian people live and keep their original culture in harmony with all Anatolia. Anatolia is just like a marbling trough.A  Through thousands of years, hundreds of different civilization with many different colors, sound, rhythm has been composed in this area.
Since then, dance and people's approach to dance have changed very much in turkey like many other things. It is a dance characterized by smooth, flowing, complex, and sensual movements of the torso, alternated with shaking and shimmy type moves. The dancers often use some type of rhythm instrument to aid the musicians, or as the sole accompaniment to their dance. Belly dance is very popular in Turkey, You can see on TV, in wedding parties and there are many course and dance schools where belly dance can be learned. There are so many kids of folk dance in Turkey that we cana€™t name just one of them as the Turkish folk dance. Caucassian dances group is one of the most spectacular dances of Anatolia.A  As many ethnic group, Caucasian people live and keep their original culture in harmony with all Anatolia. Second Passover ;Thirty days ago we cleaned our homes and souls of leaven, and matzahed our way through the week-long festival of Passover. Fast of Tish'a B'Av - July 15 - 16, 2013 ,The 15th of Av ;,Our sages proclaimed the 15th of Av as one of the two greatest festivals of the year, yet they ordained no special observances or celebrations for it .
1492 Sultan Bayezid II welcomes Jews fleeing the Spanish inquisition; in Istanbul , the Jewish population double and Salonika becomes a major Jewish centre.
1516 - 1517 The Ottoman conquest of Palestine and Egypt leads to the strengthening of Jewish communities in their ancient homeland of Eretz Israel.
1922-23 Hayim Nahum Turkey's Chief Rabbi is an adviser to the Turkish delegation to the Lausanne Conference.,1923 The Turkish Republic is founded under the preseidency of Mustafa Kemal ATATURK .
1940s Turkey stays neutral in World War II,1942 Wealth tax ( varlyk vergisi ) places a disproportionately heavy burden on non Muslim communities and sets off a massive migration of Jews to Palestine . The Life of Ottoman Jews For 300 years following the expulsion, the prosperity and creativity of the Ottoman Jews rivalled that of the Golden Age of Spain. Ottoman diplomacy was often carried out by Jews. Joseph Nasi, appointed the Duke of Naxos, was the former Portuguese Marrano Joao Miques. Turkish Jews are legally represented, as they have been for many centuries, by the Hahambasi, the Chief Rabbi.
A Community Calendar (Halila) is published by the Chief Rabbinate every year and distributed free of charge to all those who have paid their dues (Kisba) to the welfare bodies. Social clubs containing libraries, cultural and sports facilities, discotheques give young people the chance to meet. Jewish communities in Anatolia flourished and continued to prosper through the Turkish conquest. Tu B’Shevat, the 15th of Shevat on the Jewish calendar, is the day that marks the beginning of a “new year” for trees. Purim celebrates the deliverance of the Jewish people from the wicked Haman in the days of Queen Esther of Persia. Thirty days ago we cleaned our homes and souls of leaven, and matzahed our way through the week-long festival of Passover. The “Three Weeks” and Tisha B’Av are designated as a time of mourning over the destruction of the Holy Temple and the galut (exile). Our sages proclaimed the 15th of Av as one of the two greatest festivals of the year, yet they ordained no special observances or celebrations for it . Virtually everything you need to know about Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar: How-To Guides, Essays and Insights, Prayer Service Overviews, Stories, Multimedia, and much more!
Virtually everything you need to know about the holiday of Sukkot: How-To Guides, Sukkah and “Four Kinds” Wizards, Essays and Insights, Recipes, Stories, Multimedia, and much more!
Virtually everything you need to know about the holidays of Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah: How-To Guides, Essays and Insights, Recipes, Stories, Multimedia, and much more! Chanukah commemorates the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem after a group of Jewish warriors defeated the occupying mighty Greek armies. Born in Tehran 50 years ago, Rita experienced a reawakening of her Iranian childhood last year and decided to record All My Joys, an album of songs in Farsi, the language of Persia, or Iran; songs that her mother sang to her before the family emigrated to Israel when she was eight years old. Rita has been getting calls, letters, emails, and Facebook messages from Iranians who buy bootleg copies of her CDs as they defy their government's ban on everything Israeli, including her music.
We're taking reservations now for February dates in Florida and 2016 and 2017 dates in your community . Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear. They are blended, they get various shapes, but if you look and listen closely you can see the signs of all that great civilizations living in this picture.A  Turkish dance is one of the most lively and colorful themes of this picture. So the geographic isolation diversity of racial and ethnic influences and cultural traditions has produced rich folklore both in towns and in the rural area. Various other items used during dance such as snakes, swords, veils, and candles have magical, protective functions for primitive peoples that can still be found in the folk dances of these countries.
A bronze column found in Ankara confirms the rights the Emperor Augustos accorded the Jews of Asia Minor.Ottoman Period,1299 - 1492 As the Ottoman Empire expands more and more Jewish populations , mostly Romaniot ( Greek-speaking Jews who lived in the Roman Empire ) are incorporated into Ottoman lands.
In fact, from the early 15th century on, the Ottomans actively encouraged Jewish immigration. Another Portuguese Marrano, Alvaro Mendes, was named Duke of Mytylene in return of his diplomatic services to the Sultan.Salamon ben Nathan Eskenazi arranged the first diplomatic ties with the British Empire. Indeed, Turkey could serve as a model to be emulated by any nation which finds refugees from any of the four corners of the world standing at its doors.In 1992, Turkish Jewry celebrated not only the anniversary of this gracious welcome, but also the remarkable spirit of tolerance and acceptance which has characterized the whole Jewish experience in Turkey.


When the Ottomans captured Bursa in 1326 and made it their capital, they found a Jewish community oppressed under Byzantine rule.
It is the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve, and a day of judgement and coronation of God as king.
They dance as a group, in couples or solo, As he offers you a seat, a tea, a warm and friendly welcome, NurdoAYan AzengA?ler turns his gaze from the walls of his studio to the dome of Hagia Sophia, to the Sea of Marmara.Light pours into the room, dances across the walls and reveals a large-framed picture of Hagia Sophia under the snow.
Its unique rhetoric tells us the stories of central Asian shamans, ancient Anatolian heroes, Islamic traditions and westernization.A  It tells us the story of people in east-west tensions, humorous coexistence of Islamic tradition and modernity, and peoples from different ethnicities living together in harmony, in its homogenous, coherent and distinctive language. Whichever the real source of it, belly dance is taken in as a unique dance style, In every step, every movement you can see the hints of its originality and its rich heritage and traditional associations with both religious and erotic elements; because of this mystery, maybe, belly dance is loved by many people all around the world.
They are officially recognised as dhimmi,a protected non-Muslim community.,1326 The Ottoman capture Bursa and make in their capital. A letter sent by Rabbi Yitzhak Sarfati (from Edirne) to Jewish communities in Europe in the first part of the century"invited his co-religionists to leave the torments they were enduring in Christiandom and to seek safety and prosperity in Turkey". (3)When Mehmet II "the Conqueror" took Constantinople in 1453, he encountered an oppressed Romaniot (Byzantine) Jewish community which welcomed him with enthusiasm. In 1493, only one year after their expulsion from Spain, David & Samuel ibn Nahmias established the first Hebrew printing press in Istanbul. Fifty Lay Counsellors look after the secular affairs of the Community and an Executive Committee of fourteen runs the daily matters. Both cities have homes for the aged (Moshav Zekinim) and several welfare associations to assist the poor, the sick, the needy children and orphans. The events being planned - symposiums, conferences, concerts, exhibitions, films and books, restoration of ancient Synagogues etc - commemorated the longevity and prosperity of the Jewish community. Amazon offers free Kindle reading apps so you can read any Kindle book on your PC, Mac, Kindle, iPad, iPhone, or Android smartphone. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them. AzengA?ler talks about a child walking hand in hand with his father to the YenikapA± Mevlevihanesi (dervish lodge), listening to the women's prayers at the nearby Merkez Efendi Camii (mosque) -- a curious, talkative child whose gaze has wrinkled over the years but whose eyes sparkle with the same intensity.
Oriental dance is uniquely designed for the female body, with an emphasis on abdominal muscles, hip moves, and chest moves.
The snake is a complex symbol which represented both male and female principles, and also immortality in the form of the snake eating its tail.
They find a Jewish community oppressed under Byzantine rule.The Jews greet the Ottomans as saviours. Eventually he converts to Islam with his Jewish followers creating a new sect by accepting Islam outwardly but practising a new type of ' Sabbatean Judaism ' eventually leaving the realm of the Jewish community.,1839 - 1876 The Tanzimat reforms lead to the application of news laws,bringing equality to all Ottoman citizens,regardless of religion. Over time Judeo-Spanish would be phased out and Turkish takes hold as the Jewish communities mother tongue.1933 Turkey recruits German Jewish academics facing Nazi discriminative policies in order to strengthen Istanbul and Ankara universities.
In 1537 the Jews expelled from Apulia (Italy) after the city fell under Papal control, in 1542 those expelled from Bohemia by King Ferdinand found a safe haven in the Ottoman Empire. In the early 19th century, Abraham de Camondo established a modern school, "La Escola", causing a serious conflict between conservative and secular rabbis which was only settled by the intervention of Sultan Abdulaziz in 1864.
Representatives of Jewish foundations and institutions meet four times a year as a so-called ??think tank?? Some of them are very old, especially Ahrida Synagogue in the Balat area, which dates from middle15th century. As a whole, the celebration aimed to demonstrate the richness and security of life Jews have found in the Ottoman Empire and the Turkish Republic over seven centuries, and showed that indeed it is not impossible for people of different creeds to live together peacefully under one flag.,A History Predating 1492 The history of the Jews in Anatolia started many centuries before the migration of Sephardic Jews.
Sultan Orhan gave them permission to build the Etz ha-Hayyim (Tree of Life) synagogue which remained in service until nineteen forties.Early in the 14th century, when the Ottomans had established their capital at Edirne, Jews from Europe, including Karaites, migrated there. AzengA?ler speaks about himself, his love for his country, his culture and his art gallery, Les Arts Turcs.
The 15th and 16th century Haskoy and Kuzguncuk cemeteries in Istanbul are still in use today.,??The Museum of Turkish Jews?? The Pope had no other alternative than to release them, the Ottoman Empire being the "Super Power" of those days. As a result, leadership of the community began to shift away from the religious figure to secular forces.,,World War I brought to an end the glory of the Ottoman Empire.
The room is lined with shelves; the shelves are loaded with books, crafts, clothes, jewelry and CDs.
Louis Fishman is assistant professor of Middle East history at Brooklyn College City University of New York.
In 1926, on the eve of Turkey's adoption of the Swiss Civil Code, the Jewish Community renounced its minority status on personal rights.During the tragic days of World War II, Turkey managed to maintain its neutrality. Additionally, the Community maintains in Istanbul a school complex including elementary and secondary schools for around 700 students. THESE VERY SAME ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES, WHO HAVE SWORN TO PROTECT AND SERVE, OUR COUNTRY, AND CITIZENS ,ARE BUT SOME, OF THE CORRUPT,GREEDY TRAITORS .ENGAGED IN THE TYRANNY AND TORTURE.
As early as 1933 Ataturk invited numbers of prominent German Jewish professors to flee Nazi Germany and settle in Turkey.
Turkish is the language of instruction, and Hebrew is taught 3 to 5 hours a week.,While younger Jews speak Turkish as their native language, the over-70-years-old generation is more at home speaking in French or Judeo-Spanish (Ladino).
A bronze column found in Ankara confirms the rights the Emperor Augustus accorded the Jews of Asia Minor. Before and during the war years, these scholars contributed a great deal to the development of the Turkish university system. During World War II Turkey served as a safe passage for many Jews fleeing the horrors of the Nazism.
Now one newspaper survives: SALOM (Shalom), a fourteen to sixteen pages weekly in Turkish with one page in Judeo-Spanish. While the Jewish communities of Greece were wiped out almost completely by Hitler, the Turkish Jews remained secure. Armenian music meets Gypsy music, Jewish music and folk music from the four corners of Turkey. Mr. Salahattin Ulkumen, Consul General at Rhodes in 1943-1944, was recognized by the Yad Vashem as a Righteous Gentile "Hassid Umot ha'Olam" in June 1990. The vast majority live in Istanbul, with a community of about 2.500 in Izmir and other smaller groups located in Adana, Ankara, Antakya, Bursa, Canakkale, Kirklareli etc. Our Passover megasite has tools, guides, insights, stories, inspiration—and just about everything you need to celebrate Passover (but bring your own wine).
What started as a private art gallery now offers an introduction to the whirling dervish ceremony and the Sufi community in Turkey as well as courses in painting, henna, paper-marbling and calligraphy (along with a permanent exhibition of paintings, statuettes and art at the Sultanahmet address).
There are about 100 Karaites, an independent group who does not accept the authority of the Chief Rabbi.
Les Arts Turcs recently opened a second gallery and a travel agency near the TopkapA± Palace and prides itself on appearing in many travel guides.
Art and history are everywhere," exclaims AzengA?ler, his gaze now overlooking the streets of Sultanahmet, which vibrate three stories below his gallery. I advise those travelers to read a lot beforehand, to watch documentaries and movies from or about Turks. The first are travelers who heard about Les Arts Turcs and visit the gallery -- occasionally buying some objects on display -- and then return home.


For example, the French magazine Elle was looking for female whirling dervishes and we helped them find some. Turkey sees itself as European, he agrees, but Turks are increasingly protective of their own identity. CNN TA?rk, Sky TA?rk, Kola TA?rk, a€¦ I am obviously not the only one who strives to affirm the Turkish identity." Then why did he give his art gallery a French name?
Our plan is to invite foreigners who have been writing about A°stanbul -- a movie, a book, a documentary a€¦ -- and ask them to write again about Turkey. 11, we have received many inquiries from Westerners, particularly Americans, about Sufism and [Muhammed Jelaluddin] Rumi.
He may be thinking about his current research on the hippies, his partnership with painter AyAYe TA?remiAY or with American illustrator Trici Venola. The school district has moved to a biometric identification program, saying students will no longer have to use an ID card to buy lunch.A  BIOMETRICS TO TRACK YOUR KIDS!!!!!i»?i»?A TARGETED INDIVIDUALS, THE GREEDY CRIMINALS ARE NOW CONDONING THEIR TECH!
Paul Weindling, history of medicine professor at Oxford Brookes University, describes his search for the lost victims of Nazi experiments.
The chairman of the board at ESL a€” then proprietor of the desert wasteland in Nevada known as a€?Area 51a€? a€” was William Perry, who would be appointed secretary of defense several years later. EUCACH.ORG PanelIn a 2-hour wide-ranging Panel with Alfred Lambremont Webre on the Transhumanist Agenda, Magnus Olsson, Dr.
Henning Witte, and Melanie Vritschan, three experts from the European Coalition Against Covert Harassment, revealed recent technological advances in human robotization and nano implant technologies, and an acceleration of what Melanie Vritschan characterized as a a€?global enslavement programa€?.Shift from electromagnetic to scalar wavesThese technologies have now shifted from electromagnetic wave to scalar waves and use super quantum computers in the quantum cloud to control a€?pipesa€? a reference to the brains of humans that have been taken over via DNA, via implants that can be breathed can breach the blood-brain barrier and then controlled via scalar waved on a super-grid. Eventually, such 'subvocal speech' systems could be used in spacesuits, in noisy places like airport towers to capture air-traffic controller commands, or even in traditional voice-recognition programs to increase accuracy, according to NASA scientists."What is analyzed is silent, or sub auditory, speech, such as when a person silently reads or talks to himself," said Chuck Jorgensen, a scientist whose team is developing silent, subvocal speech recognition at NASA Ames Research Center in California's Silicon Valley.
We numbered the columns and rows, and we could identify each letter with a pair of single-digit numbers," Jorgensen said.
People in noisy conditions could use the system when privacy is needed, such as during telephone conversations on buses or trains, according to scientists."An expanded muscle-control system could help injured astronauts control machines.
If an astronaut is suffering from muscle weakness due to a long stint in microgravity, the astronaut could send signals to software that would assist with landings on Mars or the Earth, for example," Jorgensen explained. These are processed to remove noise, and then we process them to see useful parts of the signals to show one word from another," Jorgensen said.After the signals are amplified, computer software 'reads' the signals to recognize each word and sound. Our Research and Development Division has been in contact with the Federal Bureau of Prisons, the California Department of Corrections, the Texas Department of Public Safety, and the Massachusetts Department of Correction to run limited trials of the 2020 neural chip implant. We have established representatives of our interests in both management and institutional level positions within these departments.
Federal regulations do not yet permit testing of implants on prisoners, but we have entered nto contractual agreements with privatized health care professionals and specified correctional personnel to do limited testing of our products. We need, however, to expand our testing to research how effective the 2020 neural chip implant performs in those identified as the most aggressive in our society.
In California, several prisoners were identified as members of the security threat group, EME, or Mexican Mafia. They were brought to the health services unit at Pelican Bay and tranquilized with advanced sedatives developed by our Cambridge,Massachussetts laboratories. The results of implants on 8 prisoners yielded the following results: a€?Implants served as surveillance monitoring device for threat group activity. However, during that period substantial data was gathered by our research and development team which suggests that the implants exceed expected results. One of the major concerns of Security and the R & D team was that the test subject would discover the chemial imbalance during the initial adjustment period and the test would have to be scurbbed. However, due to advanced technological developments in the sedatives administered, the 48 hour adjustment period can be attributed t prescription medication given to the test subjects after the implant procedure. One of the concerns raised by R & D was the cause of the bleeding and how to eliminate that problem. Unexplained bleeding might cause the subject to inquire further about his "routine" visit to the infirmary or health care facility.
Security officials now know several strategies employed by the EME that facilitate the transmission of illegal drugs and weapons into their correctional facilities. One intelligence officier remarked that while they cannot use the informaiton that have in a court of law that they now know who to watch and what outside "connections" they have. The prison at Soledad is now considering transferring three subjects to Vacaville wher we have ongoing implant reserach. Our technicians have promised that they can do three 2020 neural chip implants in less than an hour.
Soledad officials hope to collect information from the trio to bring a 14 month investigation into drug trafficking by correctional officers to a close. Essentially, the implants make the unsuspecting prisoner a walking-talking recorder of every event he comes into contact with.
There are only five intelligence officers and the Commisoner of Corrections who actually know the full scope of the implant testing. In Massachusetts, the Department of Corrections has already entered into high level discussion about releasing certain offenders to the community with the 2020 neural chip implants.
Our people are not altogether against the idea, however, attorneys for Intelli-Connection have advised against implant technology outside strick control settings. While we have a strong lobby in the Congress and various state legislatures favoring our product, we must proceed with the utmost caution on uncontrolled use of the 2020 neural chip.
If the chip were discovered in use not authorized by law and the procedure traced to us we could not endure for long the resulting publicity and liability payments.
Massachusetts officials have developed an intelligence branch from their Fugitive Task Force Squad that would do limited test runs under tight controls with the pre-release subjects.
Correctons officials have dubbed these poetnetial test subjects "the insurance group." (the name derives from the concept that the 2020 implant insures compliance with the law and allows officials to detect misconduct or violations without question) A retired police detective from Charlestown, Massachusetts, now with the intelligence unit has asked us to consider using the 2020 neural chip on hard core felons suspected of bank and armored car robbery.
He stated, "Charlestown would never be the same, we'd finally know what was happening before they knew what was happening." We will continue to explore community uses of the 2020 chip, but our company rep will be attached to all law enforcement operations with an extraction crrew that can be on-site in 2 hours from anywhere at anytime. We have an Intelli-Connection discussion group who is meeting with the Director of Security at Florence, Colorado's federal super maximum security unit. The initial discussions with the Director have been promising and we hope to have an R & D unit at this important facilitly within the next six months.
Napolitano insisted that the department was not planning on engaging in any form of ideological profiling. I will tell him face-to-face that we honor veterans at DHS and employ thousands across the department, up to and including the Deputy Secretary," Ms.
Steve Buyer of Indiana, the ranking Republican on the House Committee on Veterans' Affairs, called it "inconceivable" that the Obama administration would categorize veterans as a potential threat.



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