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One thing I can say is good relationship advice – avoid gaslighting in your relationship. I have found evidence that my boyfriend is talking to other girls, lurking them, and possibly cheating many times and he will swrear up and down, on everything that he didn’t know how it got there or that a friend was using his phone. I was dealing with the aftermath of narcicstic abuse and this man began to rush in and get me off of my negative thoughts concerning the situation.
My husband started the accusations after he perceived a sexual event to have happened with me and a friend of his that I never even see privately for any reason–which supposedly broke his heart. Hi Kim , told my partner to leave because I have had up to my head with accusations from him ! I know exactly how you are feeling and although your comment is a couple of months ago, I want you to know that none of this is your fault and your man is sick in the head just like mine.
Also worth mentioning that as a form of gaslighting, he said I had stalker behavior because I had googled his name. If you two can’t come to an understanding on trust, then see a counselor to help you out. The fact that he wanted to hold onto both of us and wouldn’t break up bothers me more then anything.
I’m dating, trying to move on but I could meet the most handsome, smart, caring man right now and it would do nothing for me. What qualities could this man have that are so wonderful that it outweighs the fact that he’s an assclown?
The qualities that are of prime importance to you are of no value to your relationship without character, values, and an actual foundation to your relationship.
You did end the relationship but you you don’t like what he has done since ending it.
If he didn’t mirror how you felt when you were in the relationship with him, why would he do it now that it’s over?
What I sense is that you ended the relationship but you didn’t really want to even though you knew that you should. Be very careful of cutting contact to get a reaction and to try to get him to do what you want. This should be a case of ‘I loved him but he betrayed me in a way that is unacceptable.
You can choose to stay as you are and focus on the wrong things, but your life is going to be at standstill and he’s going to be getting on with his life.
I started obsessing then I realized that if I could go through the phases of grief without any contact I was saved. This website reminds me that I am not alone and has answered so many questions that I have about myself, relationships and how EUM’s operate. Anne, you are not physically with him but you are still with him emotionally, which delays your healing.
My heart still loves the clown and my body craves his touch, but my mind is angry at his behaviour and his cheek. Every day in answering these posts as you do, you teach me how it feels to have self-esteem and to think like someone who likes herself and is healthy. And all I could think was “why the new girl and not me?” I sat at home wondering should I call?
This post was a good reminder to me that I am only remembering the nice times we had but in the end he was pretty awful to me. And it’s partly because I am looking in the mirror and realizing how controlling I can be and so I kind of wonder if he was as bad as I thought, or was it just that I made demands that no one could meet? You didn’t cause the damage, you just got the guts to give him a taste of his own medicine. The first redflag came along and thats when I decided to ask him straight out cause I didn’t want to get into that dead end justifying his bad behaviour. It does take time and its easy to think everything was good and great but when you look hard enough even what you were calling the great times were probably tinged with doubt that it would stay that way. He may be an assclown, but the damage is beyond repair, do you really think that he would put himself thru this drama with you again? I am not sure he would even do that being totally desperate for a woman, even the biggest jerk knows what to avoid. I have the feeling that you are making this all about yourself not taking him into “consideration”, not that he deserves it!
How does he have control and why should it be you saying you don’t deserve speaking to me? You are beating a dead horse, leave it alone, I am personally not a big fan of therapy, (maybe you just need a really good girlfriend to kick your behind) but you may want to look into this, because your control issues will interfere with any relationships – normal dudes or assclowns.
I feared that although that was in the past that the conditioning from abusers in the past would play a cycle into my future relationships and that my fear of trusting people would be taken out on a nice person. I liked the feeling and became attached to him, but feared trusting him and him not being what he appeared and I was afraid of messing it up or being played the fool and I just wanted healthy within realistic expectations to heal and stop the pattern to get that healing wonderful feeling of having a friend and trusting someone. After this, he started to become more and more manic, with many extreme behaviors and callous accusations…at first I really tried to understand in every way possible, especially, after the initial pain of having to answer to his explosive and dramatic scenes and, doing all initially trying to prove my innocents to him. I always heard that when someone accaccuses without any just reason, most likely they are doing it themselves.
My husband is so controlling and selfish, he works comes home eats baths and goes to bed 7pm and expects me to do the same – um hello we have a 2 year old running around the house and the dishes are not going to clean themselves.
I was stuck with the second kind of EUM…who would never have ended it until we were both eighty. I compare everyone I meet to my ex-EUM who had all the qualities in a man that I ever wanted except for the fact that he’s an assclown but you know what I mean. You sound helpless and defeated and already are in the mindset of feeling like you’d cave if he came back into your life.
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
Yes you got angry and no it may not have portrayed you in the best light, but how do you still manage to romanticise him and why is it that there is a lack of animosity from you? What’s worse, the person who day by day damages someone with lies, manipulations and disappointments – a little piece at at time until there is no semblance left to the original person, or the person who is finally fed up and pushes back? The first dude calling you once in a while – yes, this was about control, he was trying to keep the door open – just in case he may need you one day!


You are a very strong person – I can tell by your posts – why do you want him BACK? Once he tells me he doesn’t know how it got there he says either you trust me or we are over so I always give in.
For axample, On the extreme, he accused severalgus guys of f stalking sand even trying to get under our house to listen underneath our room! But the fact that I feel he has replaced me and I‘m still struggling with all the wreckage and baggage he left me with, seems so unfair.
This is the first time I’ve ever been involved with someone like this and I really fell very hard for him. If he thinks the relationship is over and has moved on, why don’t you think it’s over?
Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
I dumped him and cut him off, against the advices of people who love me but didn’t know how much it hurt. I still think about him but through NC I’ve realises that I missed, excused and tolerated so many red flags. So I am prepared to suffer through the discomfort of getting accustomed to not having him in my life.
Him not even acknowledging you is equal parts hostile, equal parts cowardly and he probably knows that subconsciously. By the time we got to that point all that force of hurt they created was built up into something angry and ugly. We have been dating for two years and she drinks alcohol,smokes weed and ccigarettes when she gets anxious or when she feels she needs to relax.
If I try to talk to him about a behavior or something he does that hurts my feelings be immediately gets angry. I’m recovering from narcicstic abuse where I was gas lighted and the loss was minimized (another great psychology word). And our son had a severe health problem and as you may know, its not easy caring for a young baby ,especially a child who had been in hospital.
I am almost five weeks into NC but the thing I obsess about the most, the thing I struggle with more then anything is the betrayal. Why have you instead spent time obsessing about her when you should have been thinking about how to move on from this mess? I would wonder why, how come, perhaps, then it dawned on me that I was still allowing him to sap my energy and my joy. The guy he says this about is a depressive alcoholic and the guy I like knows I do not like him.
It’s like you have decided to erase his poor behaviour and focus on unimportant highlights for a man who lacks character and depth. It makes NC all that much easier, because at least he is just gone and I can lick my wounds and move on, rather than be stuck in that craziness.
In our relationship she alway accuse me of cheating, of choosing my family friends peers pr anything over her.
He ALWAYS acts in ways he gets curious if I do, and says that I’m ruining our relationship. I’m divorced from an alcoholic who was abisuve, but he knew he had a problem and was scincere about this being a dangerous situation for me and looked at himself from a clinical perspective. I mostly trusted him and went online in a minutes panic to fear getting too attached and it seemed as if he watched me online and I didn’t want to give him a reason to doubt me but like my roommate said and asked about, I wanted to be realistic.
Yes I said good bye to him, I broke up with him but in reality he only had one toe in the relationship as soon as he cheated.
In our last several break ups, we usually lasted a couple of weeks and then he would contact me and the craziness would start all over again. Yes it’s easy if you accept the guy on his terms but really, you just want to be in a relationship.
The first thing you should be asking yourself is why do you give a hoot that this guy is annoyed with you? The only reason it got so bad in the end is because the plug didn’t get pulled at the first, second or even third sign of serious danger. Then she presented me with texts of him and her talking, not flirting and she swore it wasn’t a joke although I had shown her and I felt like running to another state because these two people I saw most frequently and were part of my support network now and I wanted to trust people.
So hurt of this and tired that I kicked him out of my house and told him to never contact me again. My own home is the only place I have problems with those feelings anymore thanks to years of self awareness and counseling. I partly blamed myself for going online because I thought I needed to chat with others still as my roommate said but I know that concerned him and he panics too in a similar way.
I thought my love for him was enough to change his behavior but I realized enough is enough. It was only after having to become a detective that I found out the truth and even then he came up with lame excuse after lame excuse and denied everything. Two years later i experienced trauma and the man was a narcicstic abuser and minimized the severity of what he had done to me and his neighbor and his exes. He spkogized and we worked it out, but months later it haunted me and I wandered of their were outside influences in his life changing him from scincere to being a gas lighter and open dating.
The hole in your heart doesn’t go away overnight, but the pain, frustration and embarrassment of being betrayed and treated like crap does lessen over time, and I know it will only get easier and easier.
When ever she came around it was all about her, I couldn’t be on my phone but she could. He will forget important things like my birthday and say baby you know I have a bad memory but remembers things I supposedly said months ago.
He messed with my reality and I even had a bad rare allergic reaction afterwards and was in shock. My roommate wanted me away for the weekend to be alone but said it had nothing to do with that although timed perfectly and I had no where to go and no one was offering but saying you’ll work it out. If I am late – 5 minutes- from work- and I explain that I had to prepare urgent work – then he accuses me of lying! I would recommend changing your screen name and whatever online and then telling only the people that you like your new name so that you don’t have to see him online.


Thing is the other guy (depressive alcoholic) often comes out with us and sticks close by and people think he is my partner. I was told to shut up and that I should enjoy it, but a doctor checking me tried to give me a Valium, but the players punished me if I spoke up and I didn’t want to cause trouble. I felt forced into a cruel prank where my new start and trust building exercise was just a joke and no one would care more than me and it could be ruined in a second. I have to drive by my clown’s house every day on my way to work, and believe me, it still hurts to see her car in the driveway. To that man every ex was crazy, stalking him, a slut but he raped me the day I met him and from that day I felt guilty because was upset so I began to split into two people. I dated him and it I trusted him for the most part and I couldn’t see how he had time for anyone else because he texted me more than my exhusband. One that was felt guilty that my perception was wrong and I was too sensitive and another that was angry and facing reality.
He was great initially explaining he panicked too and for the most part I saw that he stuck with one person at a time to make the foundation. He explained he panicked about being hurt and probably looked online to validate his ego and I feared I couldn’t keep up with his texts and assure him when I got work and knew he was building trust with me. When we first met I tried my best to love her and respect her and to let her know how much I love her. I saw that he wandered downstairs to see if I was cheating on the phone so I deactivated my phone so he had no reason to panic and he left his phone out when home without me asking and went through emails with me lying there without me asking. In the beginning she would cry when is leave her sight, she would fight and even get upset if women looked at me and I looked back.
When we slept at night she wouldnt give me room to sleep and she would get upset and say I don’t love her and I do. I cleaned her home when we first met, I brought her to my family and friends and she embarrassed me with drinking.
We met halfway or I adapted to his pace to be real with Him at the expense of getting attached myself and I felt healed from narcicstic abuse and had more energy and felt healthier. In the last month I noticed he had an active dating profile and was sad he wouldn’t deactivate it because it made him look single and it said single and he showed me the emails and bragged he deleted the ones from the roommate and that it was nothing and just once. I was sad to see that drinks with a friend befure we were exclusive was with someone from a dating site although he said he wasn’t seeing other people and called it a friend. I told my roommate he let me look in his account and she got alarmed over her emails but I said he erased them but I was concerned that she said it was nothing and an accidental run in and had gotten angry with me and her privacy but I felt secretly that the privacy and walls of my relationship had been tested altered messed with so o wanted to trust him and feel the euphoric healing feeling of trust again so I looked once in the account with him watching. I never asked him to stop having friends or held his phone or for a all his accounts passwords.
I didn’t want to but with probable cause and presented with himiluating evidence by my roommate I wanted to look and trust again. He looked at people but said he didn’t talk to anyone and was solicited for work or talked about cereal once. He said he could deactivate it twice and didn’t know why not but he was online often and claimed it was wifi activating the application on his phone.
I loved trusting him, but felt like I was dillusional for ignoring an obvious red flag as he said and we were physical.
Both had been celibate for years and so I thought he’d never cheat or hurt me and panicked about being hurt like me and was looking for a backup. He said I was stupid and obsessed with online and it was the wifi and he obviously was committed to me. He GASLIGHTEd me and said he never said to deactivate it and called me crazy and to get help.
I immediately felt guilty like it was my fault for not trusting and apkogized but he looked at me like it was pointless.
I felt shake having ruined my relationship and apkogized for not trusting him and that it was just silly and it was messed with my head. He told me I could come to break up on Sunday but couldn’t ever come back but if I came Monday then we could see each other again. I felt pushy for the first time trying to stand up for myself, but was panicking and said Sunday and I stayed longer and then I realized he had a date over and she was mad and he let me feel guilty and take the blame and I was so attached and leaning on him and I wandered what will he do alone because he said I helped him keep his sanity as he did mine and I realized that I had been discovered by the female he was cheating with and I went from daily treasured invited guest to banned on orders of the female he had started seeing for the last two weeks. I was in shock of how quickly I went from hearing from someone throughout the day as their drug and arm rest to nothing, but he had moved on that day or in his mind befure and said its over. He bragged that she was giving him kisses and other things and going out to dinner at the location I wanted to go and realized he took other people to although he said that place sucks.
I felt stupid for appreciating the calming healing simplicity and trust in our relationship because of his bad schedule and no place was open when he got off work but I loved the time together.
She told me she didn’t care about other femsjes, that my pregnancy was nothing and people had sex everyday. She said they were in San open relationship and friends and she knew about me but that it was a pretend commitment to me because he was on a dating site and so I should know I wasn in a real relationship. It’s like she was trying to rewrite my history although he held a huge place in my life and was the one who was there for me at the time. Although a second ago it was us and somehow like the Trojan horse it’s been invaded and I then enemy thrown out and in my spot. I didn’t understand how the dating site had been an issue to him when being too easy going is what got thus femsje in my spot.
She had all of his account passwords she bragged and was allowed to go through his phone which she did often and held his phone. She wanted a restraining order against me the day he broke up with me as if I hadn’t been in a long term relationship at all and when I thought I was the only one. I begsn to appreciate myself in the relationship realizing I trust too much by seeing her wear herself out watching him worrying over him straying ajd trying to be there all the time.
I shifted back between is he good or bad, bullied by a large scary woman who he have so much control so quickly and he was no longer like rational no labeling him but a labeler like her, took on her opinion and was told she could do whatever she wanted.
I wanted healthy and not something trashy embarrassing like this where the ex gets staked out and insulted by the other woman, now in my place.



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