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There are three questions every woman should be able to answer yes , before they commit to a man.
It's Friday night and I settle into a plush seat next to Aaron, a gorgeous, funny brunette who I've known since college. The movie we're there to watch is Olivia Wilde's most recent passion project, Drinking Buddies, a modern-day When Harry Met Sally with a lot more booze and a lot less happily ever after. Aaron and I leave the theater arguing our points -- not whether men and women can simply be friends, but why exactly they should be. My choice in friendship gender preference carried on through all twelve years of grade school, when the only females to sign my yearbook were my English teacher and the lunch lady. There is no doubt that female friendships hold hefty value in my life, but friendships with women exhaust me in a way that male friendships never have. Like Olivia Wilde and Jake Johnson, I agree that when you build a friendship that works seamlessly, no romantic relationship can hold a candle to it. To see our content at its best we recommend upgrading if you wish to continue using IE or using another browser such as Firefox, Safari or Google Chrome. The film follows the tides in a friendship between Kate (Olivia Wilde) and Luke (Jake Johnson), co-workers in a Chicago brewery, while not-so-subtly hinting at an undercurrent of chemistry and a bit of verboten desire. I gravitated toward the opposite sex early on, when, at the age of 5, I pledged allegiance to my brothers' posse by publicly decapitating my Barbie Dolls. Successful Matchmaker: Who someone matches you up with says a lot about what they think of you. Life Saver: Your sister's wedding is next weekend and you thought you'd be in a committed relationship by now, but OKCupid has let you down once again. Problem Solver: A good friend, no matter their sex, will offer up their ear when you are in need of venting. Anyone in the row behind us, witnessing our whispered inside jokes and laughter throughout the previews, could mistake us for a couple. I'd surrounded myself with gross, sticky, amphibian-mutilating boys and loved every second of it.


Curiosity of my own kind had peaked and I hoped to have some bridesmaids if I ever decided to marry. Clearly, my lady friends think that I like shorter men who live with their parents, are part of some fantasy sports team and like to eat in diners.
My shoes, my hair, my interesting choice in a neon rainbow manicure -- it will be loved by someone at girls' night, but do they really like it or are women in the habit of being nice? Luckily, your knight in shining armor is ready and willing to be your perky plus one and save you from what could have been a family firing squad.
Girlfriends will let you talk until you've run out of words, your tear ducts have dried up and you keep repeating, I just don't know while rocking back and forth. Also, what are these characters getting from their friendship if not romance, or a promise of future love and commitment? Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by more estrogen than I could tolerate for more than a few hours at a time. I once lost a close friendship because I confused chivalry for romance and honesty for intimacy.
Only on rare occasions have I been set-up by guy friends and each time was a raging success. All of my male friends can attest to moving my belongings in and out of a U-Haul at least once over the last decade. Every time we go out together, we correct one wrong assumption after another, repeatedly telling people: We're just friends.
In the morning, I'd be king of the hill, the neighborhood kids my slaves and by late afternoon, I'd be a burglar getting away with loot (carefully returning the contents of my mother's jewelry box before she came home). And there have been a couple of instances when a night of drinking led to a platonic pal's confession of one-sided love, until he sobered up and remembered that I am a often a nightmare in relationships (as most people are). I'd watch girls on the other side of the playground and wonder just how long exactly they planned on pretending to drink their make-believe tea. But then there was also a beautiful vulnerability and honest conversations and candid questions that we all worked together to find answers to.


Over brunch, we laugh at the thought of a romance between us, split the check down to the penny and returned to our casual camaraderie. Because my date was brutally briefed on what I'm really like: she has a great sense of humor but its dark, like really dark, and she is annoyingly independent, so don't offer to pay, but open her car door because she still thinks chivalry is a thing. It is not to say that women aren't strong, but unless your girl's night is filled with WWE Divas, chances are, only the pals lacking an extra X chromosome can come through on this one. Didn't they ever want to dress up as a half-man, half-reptile with super powers, rather than a princess, waiting around for frogs? By the time I graduated and moved to New York, men still maintained the top spots on my speed dial, with the exception of a few amazing women I let in along the way. Friends know too many secrets and that knowledge limits the sexual chemistry to that of a houseplant. Rather than let you re-read a breakup email for the fourth time, they will steer you toward a solution. Since they already like you, they'll happily take payment in the form of beer and pizza, which is how you were likely going to spend your weekend with them anyway. Because for all they know, that guy twirling you around the dance floor could be your future husband.
However, the phenomenon is not just potentially harmful to those with diagnosed mental health issues. A staggering 87 per cent of teenage girls believe they are judged more on their looks than their abilities, according to a survey conducted by Girl Guiding last year, and almost half of them refrain from taking part in everyday activities like sport and public speaking because of body image insecurity. For, it is argued, when we talk to each other in this way, we subtly and consistently reinforce the idea that our value to the world lies in how we look.



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