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We talked for a good 45 minutes and he asked if he could take my number to let me know what he thought of my blog. But I was on a search for the truth -- for all womankind (OK, I'll admit, also for research). He went on to explain that he just needed me to give him the green light, and repeated several times how happy he was that I texted him back and asked. I did go out on a date with said fireman (when he ultimately asked), hoping to be proven wrong about my theory.
The best part is, that when guys like Thom and Eric win the girl of their dreams, they feel like the luckiest men on Earth.
Which reminded me of a spiritual principle I live by: to create miracles in your life, go out of your comfort zone whenever possible.
Honestly, nothing turns me on more than a guy who takes one look at me and decides, "You're gonna be mine." NOT in a creepy stalker way -- please! Maybe these "men" should take a few lessons from my brave Russian manicurist, Nelly, who recently quit her job on a Thursday and started her own home-salon business, "Nails by Nelly," on Friday. This summer's sci-fi adventure After Earth starring Will and Jaden Smith had its shortcomings, for sure, but the core message was powerful.
I learned long ago to "feel the fear and do it anyway." In fact, I too have braved the rejection waters and asked out a guy or two.


The truth is, if you can't trust the person you love to accept you, exactly as you are, what you really risk is never knowing how much they truly do love you.
In her inspiring book "Lean In," Facebook's Chief Operating Officer, Sheryl Sandberg, talks about women and the workplace, as well as the necessity of honesty in those relationships. As I wrote (and Mike eagerly read) in my earlier article, "Are We Giving Our Power Away?" it's my sad belief that men are doing less. Eric is a tough and talented commercial producer who is madly in love with his bride, Erica. After working his ass off for three months to win me over, I'll never forget how he bragged about it to a guy we met at a bar. It also requires growth and adventuring beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone," say writers Todd B. As she polished my nails recently in my studio apartment, she explained why she left the swanky salon I'd been going to. How ballsy of her to think she could dislike a basic aspect of her job -- like being there at a certain time -- and go out and find something better! Sandberg observes how "people constantly back away from honesty to protect themselves and others.
I honestly had no desire to meet anyone, but I wasn't disappointed when he struck up a conversation with me.


If you've dated for more than a minute in New York City, this kind of experience is sadly all too common. I even was crazy enough to ask actor Patrick Wilson out once while he was starring on Broadway in "The Full Monty." I met him (very) briefly after the show one night and was convinced there was a connection. The courage to speak your truth and risk the possibility of your partner laughing or yelling at you. This reticence causes and perpetuates all kinds of problems: uncomfortable issues that never get addressed, resentment that builds, unfit managers who get promoted rather than fired, and on and on.
If this guy was really serious about getting to know me, no grammatical misinterpretations would stop him from trying. I couldn't get him out of my head, so I sent him a card with an invitation to watch a Yankees game in stellar seats just behind the dugout.
There's just something super sexy about a man who goes after what he wants, and isn't afraid of a little rejection. You have to be willing to fail and know that even if you do, the sun will still rise tomorrow and you will survive.



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