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Dating tips and advice for men and women, from the people behind the UK and Ireland's most popular country dating website. If you gather together a group of people who don’t know each, you can almost guarantee that it’ll be less than five minutes before the conversation turns to what people do for a living (assuming you’re not all at an industry event).
There’s something about working for an online dating site, which encourages people to tell you all their least favourite things about all dating sites. When it comes to filling in your online dating profile, don’t forget to select your favourite hobbies and explain a bit about what each of them means to you. Don’t be afraid to list your hobbies, even if you think that they make you sound geeky or boring, as your ideal partner may also be a closet fan of [insert supposedly geeky hobby] too. In the same way that changing your photos can attract new people to your profile, updating your profile text can also attract new people. Muddy Matches isn’t just about finding a romantic partner, however if you are in a relationship, please make sure that your profile reflects this!
If you have recently started dating, but are unsure whether it will work out, you can always hide your profile in the ‘Profile Visibility’ section on Muddy Matches and re-activate it later if you wish to use the site for dating again.
If you really don’t want to be on a dating site anymore, find out how to remove your profile from the site, as there’s nothing worse than contacting someone, only to find that they aren’t interested in dating anyone. Before starting to write your profile, have a look around and decide which profiles really catch your eye- if a profile impresses you, it is likely to impress others too. You might have noticed that OkCupid’s CEO recently revealed the online dating site runs blind experiments on their users. Early this March, OkCupid and Match partnered with Wired Magazine to publish an article: How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile, in 25 Infographics. In an article on Mandatory, Ok Cupid: An Exploration Into Just How Low Some Guys Will Go, writer Rob Fee wanted to make a profile that was so undesirable that men could only respond if they either did not bother to read the text or only cared about the fictitious woman’s picture. If you want to make the most of online dating, my advice is to forget about attracting everybody. When I say toot your own horn and put your best foot forward, I’m not talking about embellishing, bragging or lying about who you are. It amazes me how many people spend almost no time explaining what makes them great when they set up their dating profile. And variations on: Want to know just ask, I think its best u find this out in person, I will tell u later, If you want to know more about me, message me. These types of profiles give the impression that the poster doesn’t know what they want or what they have to offer and that they expect the other person to provide all the content for a possible connection. In past articles I’ve talked about getting hobbies, flaming your passions and getting excited about life. Does your profile stand out from the others or do you expect reader to just magically get what you are about? Don’t assume that a vague sentence or two are going to clearly convey what you’re about and don’t be shocked if that brief descriptions doesn’t get much of a response. I know this may sound hippie dippy, but you need to be the kind of person that you’re looking for.


I remember being on a quasi-first-date where the words we said became more open and honest as the wine continued to flow.
I do, however, remember the thing he liked about that previous relationship that he wants to find again.
Perhaps even here, as I mentioned with the pictures, it is the mystery of the spaces in between the words we say that offers more. Those words shared on that quasi-first-date were eye-opening for me not only about him, but about myself. What if we really could start to build the kind of relationship(s) we truly want, by naming and looking for more of the things we liked about past relationships, rather than trying to avoid the things we didn’t like? With spring right around the corner (hopefully!), here are some easy and effective ways to spruce up your profile and enjoy more dating success this season. Any mention of past relationships or dating woes should immediately encounter the backspace key. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email! About Wink WiselyThis blog is the precursor to what will become a ground-breaking offering in the online dating community in Canada, MateCheck.ca.
Our goal is to build an online dating community where EVERY member has had their identity authenticated (Equifax) and has had a Criminal Record check completed by the RCMP.
So it’s only fair to assume that when someone is looking at your dating profile they will want to know what your occupation is. It goes without saying however, that you shouldn’t copy someone else’s profile directly or use the same jokes, even if they are hilarious. While Christian Rudder’s blog post was met with controversy, OkCupid has built their reputation on providing an information-centric approach to online dating: they use data to match users together, improve their site, and even publish the insights they find in the trends. The factoids included a ranked chart of the top 1000 words to include in an OkCupid profile, pastimes sorted by ‘highest ranked’ on male or female profiles, and illustrated examples of descriptions to include or discard.
Is it better to have more dates with people who don’t want to date you, or fewer dates with people who share your interests?
What happens to someone who wants to follow Wired’s advice but hates Radiohead, is afraid of the ocean, and finds yoga incredibly boring? If it was a deal-breaker for anyone, they found out right away and either did not message me or rejected me quickly and painlessly.
Develop your niche by building your profile for people who would want to date you; hopefully people who have qualities that you can appreciate too.
While not gorging on kale or scrutinizing bad advice on the internet, he tends to his long-term relationship with the other vegetarian he met on OkCupid, and their wild beast of a small rescue dog. Lots of people talk about the fact that they are the “whole package”, that they have a lot to offer and wonder why they’re still alone.
It’s like treating online dating as buffet were they get to pick, choose and judge other profiles, but they don’t have to offer anything of themselves in return. If you’re looking for a quality partner with a specific set of traits be clear about that by what you ask for and what you are offering. The first line of defense is reading your profile like a stranger would.  Consider who it would be attractive to and what can you do you spice it up. Remember that you are looking for someone that is complimentary to who you are.  You can’t expect people to see that potential match and connection unless you clearly explain who you are.
And I felt like I learned more about him in that one answer than I had in the 30 minutes of words that led up to it!


Those that dwell on what they don’t want from prospective suitors – compared to those that explore the possibility of shared interest and connection by emphasizing what they do want. But it is the tone – be it negative or positive – that determines whether or not to be drawn in to wanting to know more.
Because I want to draw people into the spaces between the words I say, by presenting a positive tone; with uplifting, hope-filled, open words. What if this seemingly simple shift in the words we say – on profiles and in conversations – could truly have such a powerful impact? Broken, bruised, and blessed by love; continually seeking to re-discover hope for herself, her friends, and future clients! Take a few minutes (right now!) to comb through your profile and look for any spelling or grammar errors you may have missed.
An outside perspective will shed light on how accurately your profile portrays the real you. The article claimed that self-describing with keywords like Surfing, Yoga, The Ocean, or Radiohead will ‘optimize’ an online dating profile to be more successful.
They probably will not want to go on a date with someone who expects yoga classes by the ocean, especially if it involves sun salutations to Hail To The Thief.
In the meantime, I received messages from women who were actively seeking out other vegans. Include terms that will appeal to them, while giving whoever does not want to date you the opportunity to opt-out fast. You need to let visitors to your profile know not only what you’re looking for, but also what you’re willing to bring to the table. I remember thinking it was too soon for those words and I didn’t want to dwell on the negatives. Those that seem to refer to past failures, disappointments and hurts; stuck on how negative their experiences have been and not wanting to repeat those patterns – compared to those that seem to refer to past adventures, successes and happiness, as well as future dreams, hopes, and desires.
And I wondered what I might learn about myself if I started being truly honest about what I want more of, and not settling for less. While the article points out that “48 percent of the profile pics of the most popular gay men on OkCupid were snapped outside,” a gay man who hates the outdoors is not likely to have a long-lasting relationship with someone who was led to expect the man to enjoy long hikes.
By describing myself with a polarizing term that was desirable for some women, but not the majority of women, I was able to filter for people who are more likely to be interested in me.
Everyone has things that are amazing about them, things that make them uniquely them.  The problem is, most people aren’t really great at tooting their own horn. It’s unlikely these types of descriptions will pique anyone’s interest enough to send an email. The right person is out there but they need to be able to recognize you are the fit they’re looking for.
I wondered what kind of suitor and relationship I might find if I started looking for more of the things I had liked in previous relationships or dating situations.
Those types of things are a starting point, but think about how you could take that up a notch.



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